#sometimes I understand the characters! sometimes shannon pulls a 180 and i'm like wtf was that

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hello! What do you think would be the fallout if Sophie went as far as to kill another person, either in self defense or with murderous intent? (I.e. a neverseen member.)

How do you think this would go onto affect dear Sophie, particularly in the camp of guilt and all that. Do you think she would crumble or would is serve as a start to a much darker path, one of corruption and loosening morals?

I think Sophie's storehouse fire gives us a solid guide to anticipate how she'd handle killing someone; we see her make a split second decision, act, justify her actions and resolve, then realize her friends disagree and start panicking a little while reminding herself why she did what she did, and then ultimately just trying to move on because she doesn't have time to dwell. What's done is done.

My guess is that's about what would happen if she killed, say, Gisela. On the battlefield she's like "there's only one way to truly end this" and then she one track mind stabs her throat out before she has time to panic. And Sandor's trained her well so she doesn't flinch from the spray of blood. And then her friends don't ever look at her quite the same, and they're quiet when the battle is over and they all go home. Because they understand her reasoning, but she still just took someone's life.

But this time, I don't think her friends would really try to argue with her about it, and they'd try to be really gentle in their conversations. Because they are risking her sanity if they make her feel guilty. And Sophie can't be fixed if she breaks. No one can be fixed if Sophie breaks. So they'd let her justify it to herself and convince herself it was the right thing to do.

That would only last so long, I think, before her doubts and horror catch up with her. Because even though she may have been entirely justified, killing someone fucks you up; she's only 15. And she never chose this. Her friends chose to fight (Marella/Wylie less so), but Sophie was created in the middle of all this. She can't leave it behind like they can. And she'd also be aware her sanity is on the line and that there's no one to fix her, so she'd keep trying to push it out of her mind an reaffirm her actions, but this isn't the kind of thing you can repress forever; it will come back.

I think out of the kotlcrew, she's most equipped to kill given her upbringing, her increased exposure to violence and human horrors. I don't think she'd become corrupted, but perhaps would turn in on herself? Because no one treats her quite the same, they're all always watching, she's always anxious and hollow and shaking, and so its just easier to be alone. keeping herself busy so she can't think about what she did.

I think she'd do that for a while, but it would get to be too much trying to ignore it; it comes back. she has to face it and it's sink or swim. either she faces it and comes out the other side better for it, or she's lost to it and fully crumbles. I believe she could work through it, she's resilient and best equipped, but it is a significant trauma her species is specifically not made to process

She'd feel guilty, but would reflect and conclude there was literally no other way to stop everything, and I think that feeling of lack of choice would really help. Forced by circumstance and lessen how much it feels like it was her choice. Like yeah, she did have another choice technically, but realistically? Someone had to. And she'd be really glad it was her and not one of her friends dealing with it, which would make her feel a little better.

Overall, i think she could do it. I think she could kill someone (in this I'm imagining Gisela) and work through it to be okay in the end--but it would be hell in the process and irreversibly change her and all her friendships. And would take a lot of time, which she may or may not have.

#kotlc #sophie foster #quil's queries #nonsie #shannon seems to be hinting that sophie will kill gisela #so. I suppose we'll see if I'm right or not #sometimes I understand the characters! sometimes shannon pulls a 180 and i'm like wtf was that #but I think murderous intent sophie would have to be a very specific set of circumstances and would be a different series #i can imagine a way it would happen. but it would so radically alter the story it wouldn't be what it is now #would still be a good story! just not the same one