#so it's looking like I'd spend half the appointment telling him not to tell mum

[aw-bean-s]

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#Trying to figure out how to convince my chatty anxious gp who likes my mum not to tell my parents my medical info #I just really need to tell someone who I won't hurt that I'm like. Massively suicidal. And this I the worst its been since I was 12 #But I also need mum not to know bc that fucks up my whole system of 'how not to kill/hurt self' that I've constucted over the years #Like as soon as she knows that's mentally taken a lot of pressure off of not doing it #Which gives me carte blanche to just like. Go ham as it were #Also if anyone sees this don't worry im alright right now this is just the frustration of like. Doing maths basically #It's so annoying bc the only thing I can come up with is threatening him. which is mean. And bad. #Like go half 'if you tell mum I will hurt myself it won't b your fault but it will happen' and half 'that's my private info #I told you not to share it you had no reason and I'll go to the privacy commissioner' #But like I said this guys nice and a family friend and I don't wanna do that it's mean :(( #BUT I really need him to understand the seriousness of him not telling mum and I think he won't get it #so it's looking like I'd spend half the appointment telling him not to tell mum #and on top of all of this my ear needs checking! Like I have an actual medical issue! #Fml #Vent