#so it feels a bit contrary to it all that i'm sprinting everywhere and just chugging bottles of water and calling it good

[vvelegrin]

i'm really enjoying pathologic 2, actually. i mean, i didn't think i wouldn't enjoy it as much as i was worried it would just, i don't know, muddy the water. and maybe it will, but i'm not really bothered by that anymore. that said, i do think patho 2 took a fairly unsubtle game and increased its unsubtlety by about tenfold.

well. calling og pathologic 'unsubtle' doesn't feel quite right, but i'm not sure what word would feel right. maybe it's 'distinct in its sensibilities'. I think og patho felt more obtuse, whereas patho 2 is like. here. take it. do you get it. here is the information. do you see the themes. i am announcing them to you in such a way that you know that i am saying something thematic. i'm not far enough into the main story of 2 to be able to say that there's less reading between the lines, but it feels very much so far like there's less reading between the lines. whereas the original had a somewhat different... i don't know, affect? it felt like a hostile workplace where everyone recited shakespeare about even the mundane. in patho 2 nothing feels mundane in the first place, everything feels loaded in a way that og patho was but didn't feel, if that makes sense.

but i think that's okay. at the very least, it feels very much like leaning into the 'theater' aspect of it, which is enjoyable. pathologic 2 feels to me more like... bonus content? not to be Stuck Up For Pathologic HD but i enjoyed the feeling of grinding my face against a cinderblock, having to tease out information and conclusions. it felt like a game that you had to figure out, but you actually weren't really doing any ground-level figuring out of much; you're not a doctor, your character is, so the puzzle of Solving the Plague belongs to The Story, whereas the question of What the FUCK is This Town's Deal is your job. it's a very linear game in most respects, but all three playthroughs come through as a thematic package deal.

i so far get the impression that pathologic 2 can be played on its own and be enjoyed in its own right! however it exists to me as like. director's commentary. i'm really liking the playing with different character relationships and alternate things, the expanding of steppe language and the kin, love my worm guys, but i like it because of how it enriches my eternal mind rotation of og pathologic. sorry guys i played the original pathologic and it broke me and remade me in its image. sorry.

#sorry to be the quintessential 'guy who played pathologic and now doesn't stop thinking about pathologic' #i'm having a lot of fun trying all of the different things in marble nest though #i do worry in general that the inclusion of sprinting and fast travel will really fuck up my flow #the walking feels SO much slower now so while i was content to plod along in the original i feel like there's not a middle ground #so it feels a bit contrary to it all that i'm sprinting everywhere and just chugging bottles of water and calling it good #though at the very least it does seem like it will take some of the weight off of the 'route planning' aspect of the original #which was. honestly a load bearing part of... gestures vaguely #and i understand why people don't like it! i think that's a very reasonable thing to not like #having a game on a time limit that requires you to walk slowly across the map multiple times #i don't know what brainworms it activated in me but i quite enjoy it #on paper i should not like this game but here we are #that's not true. i play a lot of Bad To Play games for the story. #but 'guy who has no sense of time' playing 'time limit: the game' is... well i'm not arguing at the results #so that's my main Thing that i 'dislike' but even that word is too strong #i don't dislike it as much as i am keenly aware that i will have to play the game differently and i Don't Like Change lmao #that said these are preliminary impressions as i'm only about 4-5ish hours into the main game #pathologic

[purlturtle]

In case you were wondering if you're imagining things:

No, I don't think you do. Or if you are, I am too.

I think the population of (at the very least) the United States, and with them many of those countries that are culturally linked (for example because they watch a lot of US media), are being lied to, gaslighted, and traumatized, both intentionally and un- (or semi-) intentionally.

I think there is a concerted effort of conservative, ultra-conservative, evangelical, etc., forces to gain power at any cost. Those efforts go into politics, but also finance, education, media (both news and entertainment), judges/courts, medical institutions and so on. Everywhere that institutional power lies, basically.

(i don't wanna leave out other power hungry individuals and groups from, for example, ultra-capitalist and other areas, but i do think the main thrust comes from the unholy mix of right/conservative/evangelical quagmires.)

It's not just that their efforts lead to grotesque and evil laws and court decisions. It's also that they undermine worker protection, social safety measures, safety regulations for work, food, health, etc etc. It leads to a news cycle that is so toxic, skewed, and fear-mongering that it can't rightly be called "news" anymore. (Social media plays a part here too, firing up the "fastest wins, don't care if it's 100% factually true and reliably sources" carousel to dizzying speeds.)

All of this creates a climate of fear. People fear for their jobs, health, livelihood, actual lives, where the next meal will come from, whether their living situation is stable for the foreseeable future, etc. etc.

This fear directly leads to a loss of empathy (it's hard to feel for someone else when you're worried that you'll lose your job and your apartment if you miss your next shift.) and to physiological and psychological stress that, by its sheer duration and scope, is one of the definitions of trauma - even in otherwise completely healthy (including mental health) people.

This attack is widespread, concerted and relentless, and that is bad enough by itself. But if you're like me, the worst aspect of it is:

There are people out there who honestly think this is the correct, good, right way to behave.

Be that because they're openly and unashamedly power hungry, or because they're evangelical Christians who think this is the path to heaven, there are people, in actual positions of power, who see all of the above as the way to go.

It boggles my mind, and it's been the single most disturbing thing for me to see and watch and accept.

I'm not here to speak to what can be done.

I'm here to say, i see you, fellow person who is equally appalled at this. Yes, this is happening, yes, this is traumatizing, and yes, you might be traumatized by it as well, even if your life situation is relatively stable and/or not directly impacted by all this shit.

And that means that giving others grace and understanding for reactions caused by all that relentless trauma is important - but it also means giving yourself time and space (and understanding and grace) to process this as well. Because you, too, are part of this traumatized society. And if you're a highly empathetic and/or compassionate person, like me, this will burn you out if you don't take preventative measures. Take care not to pile onto others' trauma - but take even more care not to compound your own. Feed your soul with good things, and don't be ashamed of that "when so many others are suffering" - adding your own suffering will not help those others one bit. On the contrary, you'll be able to help them better if you're calm, have slept enough, have nourished your body and soul with good things, and help only to the degree that is sustainable for you. Not "doable", but sustainable. This is a marathon not a sprint.

This is a concerted, deliberate attack on solidarity and union of the people against the 1%, the "ruling elites", whatever you want to call them. This is a concerted, deliberate attack on our collective, society-wide ability to be empathetic, compassionate, helpful and united with others against a common foe. "You are amongst the walking wounded" has never been so true, and so important to keep in mind: fight against those who wound, not those who are wounded.

#my rambles