#so i asked to postpone again 😞😞😞 i feel so bad too cuz like they're taking time out of their day to come meet me bc they wanna see me

[soonhoonsol]

did you know that I only excel at one thing and that thing is self-sabotage?

#personal #literally i will hype up every single one of my friends for anything #'YES YOU'LL GET THIS JOB' or 'YAS GIRL YOU GO ASK THAT MAN OUT GO GIRL' #but when it comes to myself I'm all like #'nah i dont deserve this job; the pay is too high for my measely skillset' or 'i don't deserve love I'm too ugly for that' #(sarcastic) depressive thoughts are so fun aren't they!! #anyways what brought this on? #my friends who I haven't seen in a year or so reached out and asked me to hang out for my bday and i was like 'ok!' #but then i had a bad day and asked to postpone it and now the new set date is here and i am AGAIN feeling crappy #so i asked to postpone again 😞😞😞 i feel so bad too cuz like they're taking time out of their day to come meet me bc they wanna see me #but im too stuck in my dumb depressive spiral that i just dont want to go meet them (or any other friend for that matter) #and my mum was like 'dont bother going if you're not sincere about meeting them' and i was like 'yeah u right' #so when will i get out of this episode and actually want to see my friends? idk man could take a few days...months...years?