#sigh. the explanation is im fictoromantic it's fundamentally different

[cogbreath]

there is a genuine part of me that struggles to accept and cope with farquaads death

#i guess i cant deny it but i hate to acknowledge it really #i always have #i rember as a kid watching scared shrekless and seeing what happened to duloc was genuinely terrifying for me #well idk how that special stands on canon #i also feel upset about how at tbe end of shrek4d movie his ghost is destroyed #suggesting he died in a spectral sense #and it makes me mad becaude its like #why this again why again why csnt they just let him be stop killing him #i do love ghost farquaad as much as his living self but its still kind of painful #i have no aversion to ghosts and ghostloving. but i really would rather he be alive and safe thanks #i think this also might be where a lot of my protectiveness of him stems from also lol #moreso a thing that ppl close to me know what i mean #but i get protective and upset when someone tries to talk mean about him to me #^ refers to ppl who just say things to me like about how they think hes ugly or they want to hurt or kill him or are glad hes dead #ik i shouldnt let it get to me because its intent is to upset me and im playing into their wants by getting upset #but its hard to help it #thats my beloved my darling my foreverboy #yoi woildnt talk like that about someone whos irl husband died . ik they arent a direct equivalent but . #sigh. the explanation is im fictoromantic it's fundamentally different #so if you dont get it you likely never will