#shoosh bon

[upper-echelon-h3arts]

*MFG goes hiking*

Damon: Guys I think we're lost.

Caroline: Let me see *snatches map* Wrong, we came from the...east?

Bonnie: That can't be right, check again.

Damon: *snatches map back* No dummy we came from the west, not east.

Kai: See this is what happens when you let idiots navigate.

Damon: You think you can do better genius?!

Kai: Of course I can *snatches map*...Bonnie?!

Bonnie: Umm what do you want me to do??

Kai: Its obvious you are the smartest person here, with me coming in 2nd, and naturally, Damon last.

Damon: You little sh-

Stefan: Alright everybody stay calm, nobody panick.

Elena: We're all gonna die!

Caroline: We could get eaten by bears!

Damon: Oh please there aren't any bears in these woods.

*branch snaps in the distance*

Damon: What the hell was that??!

Kai: Your ego taking a beating.

Stefan: Everyone check your cell phones to see if you have a signal.

Damon: Nope.

Bonnie: No signal.

Caroline: I've got nothing.

Stefan: Me neither.

Kai: Bold of you to assume I even brought a phone.

Elena: *peeking at Damon's phone* Who is Donna??

Damon: Alright everybody confess a secret on the count of 3. Okay 1, 2, 3, go!....

*collective yelling*

Damon: I'm in love with my best friend!

Caroline: I'm not a real blonde!

Elena: I ate the last bag of hot cheetos!

Kai: I kissed Bonnie!

Bonnie: You said you wouldn't tell anybody!

Stefan: Elena's a b**h!

Damon: AH HA- I knew it!!!...

Stefan: We should split up to cover more ground.

Elena: *eagerly agrees* Yeah that sounds like a great idea.

Damon: That sounds like a terrible idea.

Kai: I'll go with Bonnie.

Damon: No, I'm going with Bonnie! Bon Bon?!

Bonnie: Ummmmm....*feeling intensely pressured*.....I pick Matt!

Caroline: Wait...where is Matt??!

*everybody looking around baffled*

Damon: Probably fell into a ditch somewhere.

Stefan: Okay Caroline & I will head this way. Damon, Bonnie, & Kai you go that way.

Damon: Fair enough.

Elena: Hey what about me?!

Stefan: Okay Kai you go with Elena.

Elena: Thank you.

Kai: I object!

Damon: This isn't a court room you idiot!

Bonnie: Shoosh shoosh *to Damon* Let him finish.

Stefan: Its been decided, Elena goes with Kai.

Kai: Hmmkay, does anyone have a crowbar?

*Bag of chips rumbling*

Caroline: She has food!

Elena: *failed to quietly chew*

Damon: You said there weren't anymore chips left.

Elena: *mouth is full* When did I say that??

Bonnie: Alright let's be rational about this...

Caroline: Omg this isn't fair, I only had one grape this morning.

Damon: As your sire, I command you to share the chips!....except Kai, don't share with Kai.

Kai: You dick.

Caroline: I'm so hungry!

Bonnie: Me too.

Elena: *proceeds to stuff the whole bag in mouth*

*collective sighing & yelling*

Bonnie: That was our last meal!

Caroline: NOOOO, its spilling everywhere!

Damon: You lied about loving me!

Kai: Aww all over the ground!

Stefan: See this is why we broke up!...

Caroline: Great, now that we're all going to starve to death-

Damon: Let's play Simon says. Okay Simon says, Kai is a douche-bag.

Kai: The only thing douchey is your purse.

Damon: Excuse me, it's called a male fanny pack! And I got it discounted at Sears.

Bonnie: Stop it, the both of you.

Kai: What's that Bonnie?? You want me to punch Damon in the face?!

Damon: The only thing that needs punching is your 40 year old virginity card *holds imaginary phone up to ear* Hello, the 90s called, they want their ugly plaid shirt & frumpy dad shoes back.

Kai: Hey, dad shoes are in style!

Stefan: People, can we please focus.

Elena: Stop fighting over me!!!

*everybody breaks to stare at Elena*

Kai: ....Okay, onto something more relevant.

Stefan: Kai, you have officially earned my respect.

Kai: Nobody asked you Steven...Now back to business *pulls out the real map*

#chaotic tvd chats #bonkai #kaimon #bamon #bonnie bennett #kai parker #bonnie and kai #kai and bonnie #incorrect bonkai quotes #incorrect tvd quotes