#real housewives of NY

[i-am-aprl]

This woman on the left is a notorious racist zionist in NYC - her name is Lizzy Savetsky. She was removed from a reality show Real Housewives of NY because her husband said n*gger and she refused to match a woman of color to a Jewish man because this would spoil the Jewish bloodline. She's a war monger and sticks her middle finger out on "Free Gaza" posts. Her page is ridiculously racist and violently hateful and guess what NYC Karen's back her up.

#Real Housewives #gaza #jerusalem #anti zionisim #israel #zionistterror #Real Housewives of NY #real housewives of new york #palestine #free palestine #i stand with palestine #فلسطين #free gaza #Zionists are Nazi #Zionists are terrorists #Zionists are racist

[makuj]

The Real Housewives of New York City

all-new season of #RHONY begins July 16th!

#rhony #ny #new york #real housewives #bravo

[gemstarb]

Watch "Scientology EXPOSED Recap! SCIENTOLOGIST Joins Real Housewives of NY + LEAKED Scientology Documents" on YouTube

#Scientology Exposed Recap! Scientologist Joins Real Housewives of NY + Leaked Scientology Documents

[4utumn-equinox]

very happy that aespa is excited for better things, but im noticing a suspicious lack of kwangya...

#someone called the promo photos for forever 1 “real housewives of kwangya” and it lives in ny head rent free #aespa

[ghoststyles]

Meet Me In Augusta

A quick little check-in for Fairway to Heaven ❤️ inspired by my beefy hunky man at the Masters 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

SMUT. FLUFF. That’s all.

———————————————————————————

When Briar and Harry first got together, she thought she’d won the lottery. A doting, strong boyfriend who puts her needs above his own. He cares for her dog as much as she does, gets along with her family members, and donates to charity regularly. It’s like the heavens handmade him. And yes, the reverse is true on Harry’s part. She’s his dream girl, and the bloody best thing to ever happen to him. But, where he’d truly won the lottery differs slightly:

He won tickets to the Masters.

It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to attend one of the four major golf tournaments, and when Harry entered his name in the lottery system the year before, he never thought he’d see the day where his bucket list item would be checked off.

Briar is lounging on Harry’s couch, watching old episodes of Real Housewives (NY, obviously) with Gus at her feet and a bowl of popcorn and M&Ms beside her when she hears a completely manly and dignified shriek from Harry’s office. Sitting up in alarm, she opens her mouth to yell back to him, to make sure he’s okay, just as the heavy oak double doors swing open. Shirtless and in his Calvin Klein boxer briefs and socks, Harry sprints down the hall, phone in hand as he leaps over the back of the sofa to stand beside her.

“What on Earth! Harry, you’re scaring me! Is there a mouse? Where are your clothes?” Briar screams, jumping up to crouch on the sofa and cocooning herself in her blanket in case there’s a spider clinging to him.

Harry is laughing maniacally, and every so often an oh my god leaving his mouth. He nods to whomever he’s talking to on the phone as if they can see him before thanking them and hanging up.

He drops the phone, eyes wide and meeting hers. Grabbing her shoulders, he all but tackles her back to the sofa, signaling Gus to bark at him for hurting his mom. They’re on the settee part of the sofa, Harry’s arms wrapped around her, preventing her from moving, even if she wanted to.

“Harry! Tell me what’s going on right now!” Briar’s shrill voice finally brings him back to Earth.

He peppers kisses on her neck before shouting in her ear, “I’M GOING TO THE MASTERS!”

She doesn’t respond, not because she’s not supportive of his enthusiasm, but because she has no idea what that is. Feigning a smile, she replies, “wow, baby, that’s great!”

Craning his neck, his brows furrow when he meets her gaze, a clear indicator she’s confused.

“Birdie, do you know what the Masters is?”

“Mmmm, is it like MasterChef?”

Harry squawks out a laugh, shaking his head, “No, my love. The Masters is one of the big four golf tournaments for the PGA. When you win, you earn a green jacket and become a member of Augusta National in Georgia. And then you get to plan a celebration dinner. Plus, you win like, $3,000,000.”

“Ohhhh, okay, yes. Uncle Patrick has gone to that, I think. He didn’t win, though.”

Harry’s brows furrow even more, a bewildered look gracing his features, “We’ll come back to that later. I have a lot of questions. But, you enter a lottery to win tickets and I won! Otherwise, tickets are almost a million dollars.”

“A million dollars!? The course better be made of solid gold. I can’t even believe the stuff people spend their money on sometimes.”

“Tiger Woods will be there. He hasn’t played in a few years because of injuries. Baby, I could be near Tiger!” he smacks her ass, eliciting a yelp.

He hops up from his spot on the sofa as he looks outside with the biggest smile on his face, running his hands through his not-so-there curls on his head. He’d shaved it a few months ago impulsively; that was a crisis Briar never thought she’d see the other side of. But his peach fuzzy head grew on her.

“When is it?”

“Second weekend in April. Are you doing anything?”

“Me? Why wouldn’t you take Niall?”

“He and Lydia already have a wedding that weekend back in Ireland. I already asked him.”

“So, I’m your second choice!?” Briar smacks the sofa cushion beside her, faking offense.

Harry rolls his eyes, “You didn’t even know what it was five minutes ago, brat.”

She parrots his eye rolling, leaning down to snuggle Gus. They’re quiet for a moment, letting Harry soak in the news.

“Wait, why don’t you have clothes on?”

“Oh, I stripped them off as they were telling me I got the tickets. I was just too excited,” he responds casually, as if the answer is obvious.

———————————————————————————

So the pair is in Augusta, Georgia, watching Harry’s childhood dream come true. The problem? No phones allowed.

To maintain their traditional values, Augusta National banned the use of cellphones. Briar’s lovely boyfriend failed to remind her of this fact until they were in the back of an Uber heading to the course.

“No phones!? I wanted to document this whole experience for you!” She whines, gently squeezing his wrist.

“Thanks for wanting to do that, Birdie, but it’s okay. My generation isn’t addicted to their phones. We like to live in the moment.”

“Oh my god,” she snorts, punching him lightly. If anyone is on their phone too much, it’s Harry. His entire day is determined by solving the New York Times Connections puzzle. What do you MEAN the theme was ice cream flavors without the last letter?

“What if we get separated? How will I find you?”

“Did you pack your leash?” Harry smirks, waiting for her to smack him again.

“H! Quiet,” she snarls, trying not to look if the driver is listening. “Fine. Do they collect the phones or do they just kick you out if they see it?”

“I think they kick you out and you’re not allowed back, ever. There’s also no running. It’s hilarious. When everyone is trying to follow around the big names, it turns into a speed walking competition to try and beat them to the hole.”

She hums, looking out the window at the gorgeous scenery. She hasn’t spent much time down south, but this trip has changed her opinion of this part of the country. They’ve had beautiful dinners at night on patios and taken walks on historic grounds.

“Good news is, the food and drinks are super cheap, and I think you have some French 75’s calling your name.”

“Yesss!”

The Uber turns, the beautiful gates to the course opening as they pull in. The white building before them is gorgeous and neatly kept, embodying the prestige of the entire event. For a moment, she thinks Harry is tearing up. Harry snaps a photo of the two of them in front of the building to send to Niall and Patrick.

He grabs her hand and squeezes gently as he flashes their credentials to the security guard.

“Lead the way, baby,” Briar whispers, linking her arm with his as they stand outside the car, taking it all in.

Like a kid in a candy store, Harry drags her by the wrist, slaloming through the crowds of people as they all try to make it to the entrance.

Harry looks fucking good today. He’s donning a navy blue sweater on top of a cobalt blue golf shirt. His taupe pinstripe pants are pressed perfectly. His fingers are decked out in rings of all different finishes, and his Prada sunglasses fit his scruffy face perfectly.

The finishing touch, his shoes, are what has Briar giggling to herself. His black Hoka sneakers are throwing off the whole vibe. She tried to change his mind as they packed, but we’ll be walking a lot, and I don’t want my plantar fasciitis to come back!

To make the occasion even more special, Briar let Harry pick out her outfits. She knew he’d pick out her lavender sports dress, a classic piece she whips out when they play on weekends so he’s frustrated and thrown off his game. She’s 3 for 4 on this strategy.

Harry loves the way it cuts at Briar’s strong thighs, and shows a little bit of her back. To elevate the look, she tied a white Hermes scarf around her neck just like Daphne! Her shoes are white Vince Camuto sneakers with no support. She knows she can’t whine later if her feet hurt, in fear of hearing a relentless, I told you so!

Before examining his choices in her suitcase, she zeros in on the lack of underwear and bras. She knows he also picked her floor length, black bodycon dress. He’s really pushing the limits of voyeurism with these picks.

They finally make it past security, thankful they didn’t confiscate her purse, a gift from Harry that is just a smidgen too large for their rules. He leads them to the main clubhouse to grab their first drinks of the day, and maybe even a breakfast sandwich.

They start off with mimosas to ease into the day drinking, because Harry is too fucking old for daydrinking and Briar is a menace when she drinks when the sun is up. By their third round, Harry is full on fangirling as all the players buzz around him. He’s allowed to fangirl all he wants, but when she wants to gush about One Direction for a minute, he covers his ears. Eyeroll.

Briar snaps out of her brattiness, deciding she needs some food in her stomach. As they’re gathered on the 8th hole, she starts to “koala” him, as he so lovingly calls it. She wraps her arms around him from behind, laying her chin on his bicep.

“What’s wrong, Birdie? Hungry?”

Briar lightly bites his arm, looking up to meet his sideways gaze. Part of her hates how well he knows her. She slides her hands in his front pockets, making him wiggle uncomfortably.

“Be good,” he says lowly so only they can hear.

“Okay, Daddy,” she says sweetly, smiling up at him. “But yes, I’m hungry.”

Briar can feel him hesitate, clearly conflicted in what to do next.

“Okay, baby, but,” he pauses. “Tiger is at this hole next, and I’d really like to see it.”

Briar slumps, making a slight hmmph sound. She knows better, and knows how important this is to him, so she shakes it off.

“It’s alright, I can go back to the clubhouse by myself. Will you stay here so I don’t lose you?”

“Of course,” he leans down to gently peck her lips, before his head whips around as Tiger arrives at the tee box just a few feet from them, sending the crowd into a chaotic roar. She reluctantly lets go of his waist, crossing her arms over herself as she walks away.

The crowd has only increased as they arrived, and she’s honestly overwhelmed. A staff member nearby can sense her unsettled demeanor, so he asks if she’d like a ride back to the building.

She smiles at him, “Yes, that’d be lovely! Thank you so much.”

Trey, the worker, doesn't say much, but Briar isn’t one for awkward silences. She tells him about Harry, Wynnewood, and how this is a lifelong dream for him to be here. He nods along, visibly recoiling after finding out Briar isn’t single. She hops off the cart as they approach the doors, and waves a friendly goodbye.

Perusing the snack bar, her eyes are bigger than her stomach. She grabs grapes, potato chips, a turkey sandwich, and even a pudding cup. A nice man helps her condense her items into a cardboard box for carrying. She grabs a fresh squeezed lemonade to finish off her deliciously simple lunch.

Slightly tipsy and overly giddy, she finds a bench to start eating. It’s amazing the different walks of life at this event; the die-hards who don’t care about the glamor of it all, and the ones that are here only as a status symbol. It’s honestly nice not having her phone; she’s a little more in touch with her surroundings.

Taking small bites of her sandwich, she’s startled when another man approaches her on the bench.

“Pardon me, miss. Are you Miss Barlowe?”

Taken back, she nods as she swallows her bite, “Yes, can I help you?”

“Mr. Styles is on the line over there,” he points to the hilariously old fashioned phone stand, where 3 mossy green phones hang on the wooden stand. “He just wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”

Briar smiles, patting her mouth with her napkin and rising to her feet, “Thank you so much. Do I have to do anything to connect to the call?”

“Just press # and it should connect. I’ll be right over there if you have trouble.”

She laughs to herself as she approaches and presses the ‘#’ just as he said, “Hello?”

“What are you wearing right now?”

“Who is this?” She plays along.

“Your handsome, charming boyfriend,” he muses.

“I have a few of those, so you’re going to have to narrow it down,” she fakes a sultry tone.

“Briar – come on, you know I don’t like those jokes,” he mutters.

She laughs, twirling the curly phone cord around in her hand, “I feel like Carrie Bradshaw with this phone, talking to one of my boyfriends.”

“Are you insinuating I’m Mr. Big? I’m Aidan at the very least. The good guy.”

“Of course you’re Aidan. But instead, we get married.”

“Yeah, y’wanna marry me?” Harry can’t contain his grin as he looks around to see if anyone can hear him. “I won’t say yes until you come back here and get down on one knee, Briar.”

“In your dreams, Styles. Why’d ya call anyway? I’m just sitting here eating my sandwich.”

“Just missed you. Tiger got a birdie on this hole, so it made me think of you.”

“Aw, you’re cute. You’re the first place boyfriend today. You were in third yesterday, for reference.”

“Glad to hear that. Finish up your lunch and come find me. I’m gonna go to the 17th hole to try and catch Justin Rose. He’s an old friend from home.”

“Okay, I’ll come find you. Love.”

“Love.”

Briar hangs up the phone, the butterflies in her stomach buzzing. Since returning home from California, she’s never felt so secure in their relationship. He’s balancing fatherhood, work and their everyday life with ease.

Readjusting her skirt, she walks back over to the bench, mouthing a thank you to the worker who let her know Harry was calling. She sips on her lemonade, the ice rattling as she finishes the cup. Tossing the remnants of her meal in the trash, she spots the beverage cart girl. Briar smiles as she approaches her, requesting another French 75 and a Casamigos on the rocks for her lover.

The 17th hole is a hell of a lot closer to the clubhouse, but swarmed with people. It’s going to be a needle in a haystack to find him. Briar scrunches her brows, scanning all the kinda old white men with brown hair. Where is her old man?

Panic sets in for a moment, until she feels two hands on her waist, lifting her off the ground slightly and kissing her neck where it meets her shoulder.. She squeals, reaching for her skirt to make sure nothing is showing. He didn’t pack her any underwear, after all!

“There y’are, Birdie. Wish I brought your leash to drag my cute puppy around. Make everyone jealous.”

“They’d think you need to be sent to jail, actually. Were you able to focus in my absence?”

“Yeah, but I missed your hundred questions and commentary. Is that for me?” he asks, pointing to his drink.

“Yes, but you made me spill it on my shirt,” she frowns, her gaze traveling down to the beads of liquid wicking off the fabric on her chest.

Without a second thought, Harry leans down, pressing his mouth to just over Briar’s nipple to suck up the dribbled liquid. Her eyes widened, in disbelief he just did that. She grips the back of his hair, pulling him out of her bosom.

“H! What the hell are you doing? We’re in public!”

“Mm, I know. I’m so hard right now. And thirsty. Saw an opportunity,” he smirks, his grip now around the back of her neck. “Wanna take you to the clubhouse and fuck you dumb.”

“Harryyy,” Briar whines again. Little does he know all he has to do is slip her skort to the side to reveal her soaking wet pussy. She does her best to drag her six foot tall boyfriend to the treeline, hiding themselves from prying eyes.

“Let’s go. We’ll find somewhere safe. Daddy needs you to do a favor for him,” he says low in her ear, his tongue touching her earlobe. “Did I tell you how happy I am that you came with me?”

“I’m happy you invited me,” she places a gentle kiss on his lips. “Love seeing you happy.”

———————————————————————————

The lovey dovey talk is how Briar got HOODWINKED into sucking her boyfriend’s cock in an administrator’s office at Augusta National Golf Course at the biggest event of the year. The door locked, thankfully, but the amount of foot traffic outside the door has Briar’s head spinning, even more than when his tip touches the back of her throat.

Harry lets out a guttural moan, “Oh my – fuck! Such a good fucking girl.”

Briar is pulling out her signature moves; cupping his balls with one hand, tweaking his shaft with the other when her mouth doesn’t cover it, and swirling her tongue along the ridge of his bright red, plump cockhead.

Briar bats her eyelashes and pulls off just as he gives his sign of completion; his left thigh muscle twitching. Harry’s eyes shoot open as he grips the desk to prevent himself from falling over. He was so, so close.

Before he can speak, Briar stands, pushing him to half lie on the desktop, opening his belt and pants wider. She climbs on the desk to straddle him, staring down at him deviously.

“Wanna ride you, Daddy,” she whispers in his ear. She sits back up, pulling her skort to the side to show him her pussy, spasming and begging to be touched. He reaches out to touch her, but she bats his hand away, instead placing her hand around his neck firmly. “Nope. No touching.”

Harry snorts, knowing anytime she’s tried to be in charge, she fails miserably. He knows she’ll be howling for his help in a few minutes. His smug look is wiped clean as she grips his cock again to line him up with her dripping hole. They moan in unison when he pushes through the tight opening as she squeezes him for good measure.

Briar bounces lightly, the skin of their thighs slapping together. She could listen to the sounds their bodies make for the rest of her life. He bottoms out a few times, puffs of air escaping his nose as he struggles to not cum immediately.

She starts to rub at her clit, her free hand coming up to tweak her nipple. His eyes are closed again, so she takes her middle and ring finger that are rubbing and sticks them past his lips. He moans, lapping up the wetness from her fingertips and choking on them a bit. She smiles before bringing the fingers back to her center and continuing to rub.

“Oh my god, baby. You taste so good,” Harry whines. “Want you to come. Then I’ll come in your little pussy. Don’t know how you’ll hold it all in there.”

Briar cries out, seconds away from tumbling over the edge. She leans forward, gripping the desk above his head. They’re making extreme eye contact now, the tension between them palpable.

“I’m cumming, Daddy. I’m cumming. Your cock feels so big in my pussy,” she cries out as Harry feels a tiniest bit of wetness expelled from where their bodies meet. She twitches, barely able to hold herself up. He sits up on the desk to support her and begins thrusting up into her with his hands wrapped delicately around her body, fingertips digging into the plushy skin of her ass and waist. He captures her lips in a deep kiss, her breath stuttering when he rams himself back into her.

The two remain intertwined, reality hitting them when Briar utters words he never thought he’d hear from her.

“Fuck me, Daddy. Fill me up. Make me yours. Wanna have your babies,” she fires off things he can’t even comprehend. “Want you to make me a mommy. Fuck – want it so bad. Fill me up, please!”

Harry’s breath is knocked out of him as he throttles upward, his tip colliding with her cervix every time. As he topples over the edge, he buries himself in her pussy – his eternal resting place, he’s decided he’ll request in his will – and releases his full load into her. He drops backwards, beginning her down to lie on top of him, his pants now hanging around his ankles.

“Oh my fucking GOD, baby. So fucking good for me,” he says into her ear, a shiver running down his spine.

“Love you, Daddy,” she says quietly, her ear pressed to his chest so she can hear his heartbeat racing.

“Love you so fucking much, Birdie,” Harry sighs, petting her back.

Harry smiles to himself. The diamond ring he has in his bag at the hotel is going to make an appearance even sooner than expected.

He’s sure of it.

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles imagine #Harry styles smut #dom!harry #daddy!harry #agegapfic #Harry Styles golf #golfrry #one direction imagine #daddy!h #fth h #fairway to heaven #harry styles x oc

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

"The other ladies will eat her alive on camera and will literally make her collapse on the floor crying!" I'm not a Real Housewives fan, but I'm watching NY because of Jenna, and I'd def watch the Cali version with Meghan sitting on the floor crying wrapped in her Hermes blanket every. damn. episode.

[florallylly]

i have just had the most delectable thought

modern au real housewives stobin au

BEAR WITH ME. lavender marriage stobin of COURSE. the son of a ny socialite and a businessman, steve harrington, marries one robin buckley. the logistics of how they get on the show are unimportant (maybe it turns out that steve's family is in broadcasting and Nepotism. idk they don't pay me to figure this out)

i'm a lover of real housewives new jersey and hold all opinions about the show bc i know i'm going off of my own opinions. but i love jackie... and steve is My Jackie.

but i think stobin would relish in the infighting and drama. they live for gossip and actually instigate sometimes. robin and steve share a look and he subtly places a wine glass in front of one of the wives.

#steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #I DONT HAVE THE WORDS but it's so good in my head #like i can just see it so clearly #and i always always always push my obscenely rich steve harrington agenda

[sidewayspeace444]

Can’t believe a source so close to Chris would say “I feel like contacting this fan site about him. Let me tell them a huge secret”

Someone would actually run to TMZ and sell it. Let’s be real. If the evidence is so *chefs kiss* they would hit up aa real news outlet.

///

THANK YOU!!! 💯💯💯

Exactly what I’ve been thinking & saying nonstop!

This whole thing makes ABSOLUTELY ZERO SENSE! Who TF goes to a freaking Tumblr blog OF ALL PLACES to give a tip-off about a celeb??? Seriously, can someone tell me?!

THE place that everybody goes to when they have something to spill are the gossip sites and outlets - like TMZ, NY POST, Daily Mail, National Enquirer! Hell, even Deuxmoi (although her credibility is highly debatable). Not Tumblr!! Of all places?!

Unless it’s one of the kids or teens in Chris’s family (including Miss Fish herself) who’s the “source,” I truly cannot wrap my head around the possibility of a freaking vendor, a professional, or one of Chris’s grown ass friends discovering TLQ’s blog & deciding “Oh, THIS is where I’m going to share this info!” ALSO, what would said “source” even be getting out of all of this by coming on Tumblr? Why would they do that? UNLESS AGAIN, it’s freaking Alba herself.

And btw, there have been rumors going back to last year that she scrolls around and is quite familiar with Tumblr - so if it would be anyone, it would be her or one of her anti-Semitic friends.

I wouldn’t put it past one of the lonely, desperate housewives, though, either. They have the spare time, so…

TLQ keeps saying that there’s “absolutely no way” they can share the info they got without “compromising” their source’s identity.

Hmmmm…..

So, not even if they blacked things out? This must be a big major “source” then, if it’s not a vendor.

Something is definitely sus. I don’t buy any of the excuses that they and their whole group of followers have been using. I don’t care for their “track record,” either.

I stand by that person who sent them that long ask questioning everything - because they’ve raised a hell of a lot of good points. And that blog’s response didn’t cut it, either. They knew what they were doing. They didn’t care about anyone’s mental health or feelings - they quite literally made things worse.

Call us crazy, call us unhinged, truly don’t care. We’re all literally being driven to this point because people won’t stop with all the mind fuckery that’s been going on.

(I’m sorry mod, I didn’t mean for this to be so long and, well, heated. It’s all just been far too much. It’s so tiring. Thank you for giving me the space to get this all out. So glad to have you back. Xo)

They have made things worse. If they know certain people get anxiety about situations then why are you making it worse for them? I don’t care about it but I do care about peoples mental health. There’s thousands of people who have looked up to Chris Evans for 10+ years, and do they really want to push the narrative that he’s racist too? You are who your friends are.

I have people in my asks standing up for them and you know what? I don’t care to entertain them. The source was more than likely the pottery lady. I’m sorry but a friend of theirs isn’t going to say “A pottery video is coming out” no they’re going to confirm other details that are far more important like Mother Mary, NYC/Bermuda trip. Hell, even Hawaii and Canada.

[dreamgirledward]

havent done one of these in a while! tagged by @wentzy thank u lou 🫶✨ last song: future by j-hope :') i watched his special about his album release/lollapalooza set last night so been vibing a lot with his albums esp when im commuting 🌈

last show: the white lotus s2, welcome to chippendales, and also rewatched the bear not too long ago (this was all at the same time so it's hard to pinpoint which of those was actually the last one) ! merlin should be here somewhere but i have that on before i sleep most nights nowadays so that's its own thing i guess lol

currently watching: the last of us and love is blind because i love a good balance ✌️ (im in desperate need of garbage tv so im probably gonna rewatch real housewives of ny soon.....)

currently reading: interview with the vampire! tho i havent had time to properly read in a long time, i wanted to read the series again after the show finished. this isnt really current but on the subject of books ive been on the hunt for a few joan didion novels as well.

current obsession: i dont really have one right now, which is shocking for a tumblrina. i think it's mostly because ive been both so busy and tired :'') here's a list of random things that ive been into lately that make me happy instead: slip skirts, my new chunky boots, love yourself: tear by bts on loop, a gallery book i bought myself from the leonard cohen exhibit at the ago after a bad date, and a cute little calendar illustrated by an artist i like that i just hung up :)

tagging: @taikacohen @lovers-spitmp3 @citruscas @monstermoviedean @danneelswife @kellyscabin @davyperez @castieldean @anna-coded @jewishdeanwinchester no pressure hehe <3

#tag game #sammy.txt

[smallboyonherbike]

i was tagged by @benevolentgentleman in a getting to know you meme ty ty!!!!

last song - i can't tell a lie......it was moments - diddy feat. justin bieber. i was listening to apple music a-list pop playlist. it's not terrible but baby era justin will always be my fave tho

favorite color: hot pink!!

currently watching: at this very second a drew gooden youtube video about silly moonwalk shoes

last movie/tv show: just watched a hallmark movie called #xmas where woman as fake relationship to win a design instagram contest it all makes sense. at this point i've probably seen more hallmark movies per year since 2020 than real movies, they're silly and formulaic but they go down so smooth. and i now have opinions on the best of their regular actors (jen lilley's movie where she falls in love w an old timey bootlegging ghost is an actual classic).

and for TV as always i'm watching real housewives as rich women fighting also soothes me (NY and SLC currently, and rewatching old married to medicine the greatest bravo show ever). and also almost done with ofmd s1 rewatch eeeee

sweet/spicy/savory: i've got a major sweet tooth, and college tradition of milk and cookies snack at 9pm every night does make me desire a dessert before bed always. i couldn't handle spicy at all as a kid and now i like it but unfortunately my stomach doesn't. and savory sure yes but sour is king and i do eat a pickle w dinner at home p much always

relationship status: would a coupled up person blog this much

current obsessions: welll my billboard music polls lmao i've done every year of the hot 100 backwards to 1980. might do the 70s if i know enough of the songs for it to be interesting idk.

aside from that i've read 66 books so far this year which is the most of any year since i started tracking in 2017, thank you job with lots of free time. this year the authors i've been reading a ton of are mary balogh (regency romance), jasmine guillory (contemporary romance) and seanan mcguire's october daye (urban fantasy)

last thing i googled: what is a jogging board, which came up in travel guide to charleston i was reading (going for work tomorrow). they kinda look like see-saws but it's like a bench you sit and bounce on? doesn't appear to have a racist history at first glance at least tho w anything in SC you gotta check.

tagging @kinksmog @luluspetals @landunderthewave @polithicc @vvitchy @moonlightbuckleys and anyone who sees and wants to!!

#megamazing #tag game // #as always no pressure to do it bc i tagged and i rlly do mean if you see and want to tag me i wanna see it!

[appropriatelystupid]

idk anything about the real housewives in any form but i keep seeing commercials for ny and some of the fits jenna is wearing would be great for kara going to events as sg post reveal

#kara

[inthesaddle]

Is this still a medium or am I old?

Anyone else feel aimless? (I ask this as though one single person will see it/read it/respond/care?...but just go with me.)

I, per usual, am steeped in nostalgia. I just spent the better part of my night listening to Little Earthquakes by Tori Amos, followed by Ray of Light by Madonna. I’ve been watching old movies like Mystic Pizza and re-watching early seasons of Real Housewives of NY, doing it all from my bed, on my computer instead of the relatively new, nice, big TV downstairs. It’s as if I’m 20s Alison, alone in my apartment in New York, watching tapes of recorded-from-tv episodes of Friends and Sex and the City on my 12″ TV/VCR combo, purchased in 1996 when I went to college. It’s purposeful, in a way. I’m indulging. I’m going back to 20s Alison—even teenage Alison, watching TV at one in the morning when I couldn’t sleep, discovering Fiona Apple on MTV or laughing at first-season episodes of Saturday Night Live from before I was born. I have these comforts; music and media that touches a part of me that is stuffed away from the rest of myself. The part that felt the promise of the future. The part that had time to sit in that promise and that hope. Time to feel every bit of sadness, drama, anger, self-righteousness, self-loathing, ambition, heartbreak and, despite it all, optimism. There was so much time. It was safe. It was heavy, but it wasn’t real.

Or I just didn’t realize how real it could get.

I’ve wanted to write into this void many times over the last few years. Whenever I’ve attempted, I usually get caught up reading old posts; connecting with a part of my life from 15 years ago, for which I’m grateful there’s documentation. My early days of my marriage, my time before kids, my time with babies—really, my last time as only me. Again, there was time. Now it’s five minutes here and there...the rest tied up in tasks and life that is decidedly much less self-indulgent. There is no time to create anew. There is time to reread/relive/remember. Nostalgia is a drug for 40s Alison. It allows me to feel. And I feel so much.

I can’t quite articulate the emotions that bubble up when I listen to music or watch shows/movies that I connected to deeply—or even not that deeply. I don’t recall being super into Little Earthquakes, yet I can experience teenage Alison listening to it...feeling every bit of Me and a Gun despite not knowing any version of that kind of violence (even still, thank god). And tonight, after listening to that and Ray of Light, I dabbled in watching old Janet Jackson videos, namely for If. I had to see that iconic dance. I had to relive the wonder of watching Janet, gorgeous as ever, doing a dance I would pause and rewind and freeze frame and slow-mo for hours trying to learn. The nostalgia drug reminded me—I was a kid once. I was a kid who spent hoooooouuuuuuurrrrrrrs dancing. I was a teenager who took herself and the dances she choreographed way too seriously. I was not that good of a dancer, but goddamnit I believed I could be Janet.

I’m 44 now. I’m tired. I’m decidedly middle-aged. I was at Georgia’s dance recital today, watching my now eleven year old on stage. I sat next to a young mom, squealing in delight at her tiny daughter doing ballet in front of an audience. I was that young mom with her tiny daughter at her first recital eight years ago. Where did it go? Why don’t I remember enough of it? Why do I miss it so much?

How has it gotten so hard to keep time?

I want to write more music. I want to interview people I find interesting and find out where their time goes. I want to sit and do nothing. I want to do more. I want to do something that counts. I want to do something meaningful. I want to do things right and well. I want to make my family proud. I want to be present. I want to be anywhere but here. i want to be alone. I want to be with people. i want to be responsible for myself. I want a puppy. I want to teach my kids every possible life lesson.

I want. I want. I want.

Where to begin?

[typingtess]

Tiptoeing through “Game of Drones” guest cast (14x01)

Hey, we’re back!  Welcome to season 14 of tiptoeing though the guest cast.

For those wondering, Linda Hunt is still listed as part of the regular cast.  

Kavi Ramachandran Ladnier as NCIS Reserve Agent Shyla Dahr Back from “Work and Family” near the end of season 13.

Natalia Del Riego as Rosa Reyes  Richard Gant as Raymond Hanna Back from “Come Together”, the season 13 finale.

Jennifer Marshall as Navy Commander Neal Marshall is a real life Navy veteran.  

Played Susan Hargrove in Stranger Things and hosts CW’s Mysteries Decoded series.  Appeared in episodes of Eighty-Six, Colony, Game Shakers, Timeless, Red Ruby, Hawaii Five-0, American Housewife and Reacher.    Was Marine Sergeant Francesca Rinaldi in the NCIS “Someone Else’s Shoes” in season 17.

Trailer selfie. Jamil Zraikat as Cyrus Karimian Guest roles include SEAL Team and Paranormal.

Jenapher Zheng as Janice Ng Zheng appeared in a number of short films.

Anna Rajo as Maria Estevez Rajo appeared in a number of short films and comedy showcase series.

Turhan Troy Caylak as Darius “Bunny” Vale Played Charles Kipps in Bosch, Dr. Mandaar in As We See It and Akhmal in Barry.

Guest starred in episodes of Law & Order: SVU, Zero Hour, The Blacklist, American Odyssey, Scorpion, Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, Colony, General Hospital, Designated Survivor, Euphoria, The Chose, SEAL Team,  Dave, Grand Crew, Bosch: Legacy (different part from Bosch), The Lincoln Lawyer, The Offer and Dead to Me.  Appears regularly in ABC’s What Would You Do? reenactments.

Announced his guest role on Instagram. Ramona Dubarry as Monica Tavares We have season 14’s Monica.

Guest starred in episodes of The Shield, Numb3rs, Dirty Sexy Money, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, CSI: NY, Heroes, Private Practice, Desperate Housewives, State of Georgia, Make It or Break It, Castle, Big Time Rush, Criminal Minds, Code Black, How to Get Away with Murder, Pop & Spin and The Cleaning Lady

Played Dr. Hill in Days of Our Lives, Agent Diana Aguilar in Mayans M.C. and Det. Linda Perez in The Lincoln Lawyer.

Written by:  R. Scott Gemmill wrote/cowrote “The Only Easy Day”, “Brimstone”, “Breach”, “LD50”, “Found”, “Borderline”, “Absolution”, “Archangel”, “Tin Soldiers”, “Impostors”, “Cyberthreat”, “Honor”, “The Watchers” and both sides of the NCIS Los: Angeles/Hawaii Five-0 “Touch of Death” episodes, “Recruit”, “Free Ride”, “Wanted”, “Ravens and The Swans”, “Impact”, “War Cries”, both ends of the “Deep Trouble” season five finale/season six premiere, “Inelegant Heart”, “Praesidium”, “Traitor”, “Active Measures” (season seven premiere), “Blame It On Rio”, “Internal Affairs”, “Matryoshka” part one,  "Talion" (season seven finale), “High Value Target”/”Belly of the Beast” (season eight premieres), “The Queen’s Gambit”, “Under Siege”, “Unleashed” (season eight finale), “Party Crashers” (season nine’s premiere), “This Is What We Do” (episode 200), “Các Tù Nhân”, “Goodbye Vietnam”, “Ninguna Salida” (the season nine finale), “Hit List”, “Asesinos”, “Till Death Do Us Part”, “Choke Point”, “The Guardian”, “Hail Mary”, “Kill Beale Vol. 1”, “Alsiyadun”, “Fortune Favors the Brave”, “The Bear” (season 12 premiere), “Angry Karen”, “Love Kills”, “Russia, Russia, Russia”, “The Noble Maidens”, “A Tale of Two Igors” (season 12 finale), "Subject 17" (season 13 premiere), "All The Little Things", “MWD” and “Work and Family”.

Directed by:  Kevin Berlandi.  Berlandi is new to NCIS: Los Angeles.  He has directed episodes of Criminal Minds, Bull and Partner Track.

#tiptoeing #NCIS: Los Angeles #NCIS: LA #NCIS Los Angeles #ncis la

[dontcrybunnycrazygirl]

Real housewives of NY. KMFDM. Jimmy John’s sandwich being delivered. No work tomorrow. God bless.

[digital999placebo]

I already shared that I like hetalia might as well share my second guilty pleasure real housewives of NY n Atlanta

[bkdotblog]

"Not a Yacht of Fun," S3 E9

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 3 Episode 9 Recap

My Title:  "Champagne Problem"

My rating: 3 out of 10 years in prison (too much Jen)

Support for Lisa Barlow: Very strong

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We open in the restroom of Jen Shah's suburban mini-manse. She is putting in her contacts — having somehow already applied huge, downy fake lashes — and flashing back to the afternoon of her arrest at Beauty Lab and Laser.

In a narration, Shah explains how she began taking antidepressants after her father's death. Then she got to a good place... until her indictment for her part in a grand theft elder plot. Now she's depressed again :( Jen is living and breathing proof that money can buy happiness, no matter the cost. I love that for her and for us!

I think Matt Rogers said it best on la Las Culturistas podcastica: Jen's storyline has lost all of its water since her plea changed from "I'm innocent and wearing a little hat" to "I'm guilty but available for more reality work." (News broke this week that Jenné signed with CGEM Talent, signaling her exasperating intent to continue her entertainment career.) Whatever. Next!

Oh god. This season's triumvirate of villains — Heather Gay, Bad Angie, "Danna" — arrive to a brunch. And I mean literally, because when Heather and Danna enter the restaurant, everybody's food is already there! There's a club sandwich with fries that I really want to eat, a roll, some avocado halves...

The ladies are discussing the upcoming girls trip to San Diego, which has excluded Danna (for talking behind Jen's back) and Bad Angie (for being rude and insane generally). By commiserating with Danna, Heather is aligning herself squarely against Jen. She is now in conflict with every other housewife on the show, excluding Meredith. Good work, Hedda!

Not loving this faction!

We're back at the Shah rental. Meredith arrives in full traffic cone drag:

Jen explains that she's celebrating Ramadan by embracing peace. [BK's Take, earnest: One of my favorite things about RHOSLC is religion as a fortifying theme, like money in Beverly Hills or lineage in NY. Love to see how that refracts through the UNIQUE* prism of each Housewife.] Meredith takes this opportunity to see if she will embrace Danna on their San Diego girls trip. Jen begrudgingly agrees, sipping her tea.

*stream Renaissance!

Meanwhile, the other ladies are talking about how Jen is kind of a bitch. The conversation turns to the trip and Heather starts to tear up. "This trip, I feel like nobody actually wants me there?" she says. Then there is a brief and tasteful montage recapping her existing arguments, as if to say, yup! Let's see how this goes.

Also because I was rude about Meredith's fit earlier I will say that I loved the whole look when the coat was off, from head to fingernail to probably toe. My relationship to Meredith is tenuous but I have no choice in the end but to support authentic Midwestern representation!

(Here she is accepting the role of CEO of Fun for their San Diego trip.)

Housewives packing montage! I love this stuff. Lisa playfully suggests "running down to the Louis Vuitton store" to get more luggage. Seth Marks shows his beloved wife a pair of earrings and says "Lisa Barlow's not the richest anymore" or something. OK? Whitney is stuffing her brand new clothes into brand new luggage. "What do you think you'll get out of this trip?" Her husband asks. "A migraine," she deadpans.

Airport arrivals! Jen wearing a huge fur and looking chic, Good Angie wearing some god awful Cookie Monster looking sweatset, Lisa and Whitney looking appropriately glam lite. Danna arrives but weirdly doesn't say hi to anyone, standing off to the side until one of her friends shows up.

BK's Take: Weird thing for an adult to do!

Danna also reveals this is the first girl's trip she has ever been on.

They arrive to the house -- the AirBnb of it all -- only to find that it is actually kind of gorgeous. "A little Santorini," Lisa says. Jen is becoming peeved with Good Angie, who is showing everybody around the house that she booked. Whitney expresses confusion at who is "hosting" the trip. (Why?)

And now we have my third favorite kind of social situation in any Housewives ep, behind Explosive Restaurant Dinner (#2) and Explosive Charity Event (#1): House bedroom selection. For the first time in human history, there are enough bedrooms of quality for all guests to be comfortably situated. However, this is not good enough: Jen Shah bristles that she isn't in the master bedroom.

Whitney points out that Jen has been situated in the biggest bedroom in the last two of their trips, and opines that she should have it again, because, you know, her next bedroom could be:

BK's Take: It's not generous of her, but Good Angie has the right to the biggest bedroom, as she hooked up the house.

Good Angie tries to ignore Jen, but it doesn't work: Jen pours a glass of champagne on her in front of all of the other women right before the commercial break.

The ladies all react with stunned silence. In a confessional, Heather likens Good Angie to Sissy Spacek in Carrie:

Jen, ever the sociopath, now insists that the champagne thing was a fun JOKE, she was just JOKING, duh, why is everyone so SERIOUS?? She doubles down by asking Angie to pour champagne on HER head, and when Angie declines, very miffed, Jen pours it on her self!

EVEN CRAZIER is how everybody else reacts: With utter nothingness. In confessionals, Whitney objects; Heather Gay says it was funny; Meredith weirdly also suggests that she found it funny and not over the line?. But none actually say anything. In the aftermath, Lisa expresses regret for not calling out the behavior in the moment. But is escalation a good idea at all when Jen is feeling insecure?

Privately, to Lisa, Angie discloses what I'm sure will become this episode's banner accusation: That she not only hosted Coach Shah's birthday party on Jen's behalf but she also paid $15,000 for it.

She itemizes the costs: Dance floor $1500, clean up $500, appetizers $3000...

Angie says: "I could have bought my daughter a horse with that money," she says, "and you know what, I did do that!" And we get this image:

BK's Take: A little much, I think we get it. no need to bring Elektra into this!

Meredith says to Jen: "I honestly don't think [Angie's] really angry,"

Angie says to Lisa: "I'm so mad right now," and she's crying.

A chyron reminds us that this is still Day 1 of the trip.

Danna visits Heather in the casita. Heather says that she gets why Jen did the champagne thing -- she wanted Angie to shut up! Danna is like, sure, but there are other ways. Heather secretly says that she's happy for all of this drama because it's deflecting from her seven ongoing feuds.

Then, shockingly, Jen walks in!!

Jen is still on her "girls just wanna have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!" behavior, but says she'll talk to Danna later and exits. Hedda gives Danna actually good advice: Let's avoid incensing the hostess for now. Danna doesn't understand this, which bodes well.

The ladies gather in the massive kitchen, wearing their yachtiest garments. Some ladies cluster around Angie and others cluster around Jen. "The tension is rill," Whitney says. Angie reveals that she called her husband and drew a pretty thick red line between Jen conning elderly people out of money and withdrawing $15,000 from the Party Bank of Angie.

Tensions boil over in the sprinter van, with Angie wasting no time before lobbing the party stuff at Jen. Jen hits back with myriad defenses: First that she DID pay her back, second that actually she gave her a $5000 necklace, and lastly that friends don't invoice friends after hosting friend's husband's birthday party. All of the other ladies mutely watch, whipping their heads back and forth like they're watching tennis.

Angie 15, Jen Love.

On to the yacht. "A yacht is just a sprinter van on open water," Heather sagely observes.

WOW WOW WOW. THE NAME OF THE BOAT IS CHAMPAGNE!!!!

CHAMPAGNE!!!

Champagne.

Allah is good AND funny!

The episode ends shortly thereafter, but not before Jen begins to spin her wheels about Angie. As she has pointed out in every single episode this season, this is a very fragile time for her. Meredith is watching her like she's watching a building collapse on TV.

Jen says, to no one or to everyone in particular, "You know what? Fuck you."

BK's Take, retrospective: ONLY because Jen brought it up on the sprinter. In the very first episode of the entire series, we see Jen showing a Shah-mazing party for Meredith Marks' birthday that was actually just fine. But in the first season reunion, we find out that the party was supposed to honor both Meredith and Lisa, who's birthdays are close; the party in question was held ON Lisa's birthday proper, not Meredith's which was the next day; Both are Sagittarius queens; Lisa received a MUCH smaller cake and a non-televised celebration; Lisa gracefully didn't turn this into the storyline it could have been. That's called class — heard of it, Jennifer? — and it's the one thing you cannot buy.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! —BK

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Gay Imagery

She may be this season's villain, but we cannot deny that she is Heather Gay.

This is her ordering the omakase drink option from the yacht waitress:

And of course, her dropping her candy-colored luggage down the escalator at the airport:

See you next week!

#rhoslc #real housewives of salt lake city #real housewives of Salt Lake City recap #heather gay #Lisa barlow #Jen shah #champagne #bkdotblog recap #Jen shah trust you will be dealt with