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#pretty sure steve's method is not medically approved for testing for head trauma but he's fine
solarmorrigan · 5 months
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“You know, you’d probably be more comfortable in bed.”
Steve groans. Quietly.
“I’m gonna take that noise to mean, ‘Yes, Eddie, you’re so right, I should take my sick ass to bed!’, to which I am going to say, ‘Thank you, Steve for acknowledging how right I am.’”
If Eddie’s plan is to irritate Steve until he manages to get up off the couch and shamble himself to their bedroom, he’s on the right track.
But the thing is, Eddie is right (unfortunately) – Steve knows he’d be more comfortable in bed. The couch is too short and the cushions are too worn and the seats are just a little too narrow for him to really relax. But at the same time, the flu is trying to murder him, and he’s got a fever, and everything aches, and he doesn’t want to move.
Rather than explaining any of this to Eddie through his sore throat, Steve instead grumbles, “Your impression of me sucks.”
“Well, I’ll work on that while you’re resting,” Eddie drawls.
Steve manages a faintly agreeable-sounding noise and then pulls a throw pillow over his face.
“Steve,” Eddie says.
Steve doesn’t move.
“Steve,” Eddie tries again.
Steve is still not compelled to move.
“Steeeve. Come on.” Eddie reaches out to poke Steve in the side, who belatedly raises a hand to swat him away.
“Don’t wanna move,” Steve mumbles.
“You’re never allowed to call me dramatic again,” Eddie says.
“Mph,” Steve replies.
He hates being sick – really sick, the kind that his body just won’t tolerate pushing through. If he can’t pretend to be well, he feels he has no other recourse but to be dramatic.
“Do you want me to carry you?” Eddie offers. He sounds like he’s trying not to laugh.
Steve snorts. “Yeah, sure.”
“Alright, let’s go,” Eddie declares, and Steve has just enough time to pull the pillow off his face and look up before Eddie is scooping him up off the couch.
“What the fuck!” Steve shouts, arms locking almost instinctively around Eddie’s neck as Eddie gets one arm settled beneath the crook of his knees and the other around his back.
“Relax, we’ll have you in bed in no time,” Eddie says, swinging around to face the living room door with a grunt and trundling forward.
“You’re gonna drop me,” Steve says, winding his arms more tightly around Eddie’s neck; he’s pretty sure no one has picked him up or carried him anywhere since he was maybe eight years old.
“Ye of little faith,” Eddie replies, only slightly strained.
“Me of exactly the right amount of faith, which isn’t a whole damn lot, no,” Steve insists, ducking forward when Eddie lists a little too close to one of the hallway walls.
“You’ll be fine,” Eddie says. “I’m not gonna drop you.”
They reach the bedroom door and, as he’d promised, Eddie doesn’t drop Steve.
He does, however, whack Steve’s head on the doorjamb.
And then he drops Steve.
It doesn’t end up being much of a fall; Eddie only loses his hold on Steve’s legs, and with Steve’s death grip around Eddie’s neck, he mostly just lands awkwardly on his feet before tumbling down onto his ass with a thud and a quiet, “Ow.”
Eddie is on his knees beside him in an instant. “Holy shit, I hit your head.”
“Yeah, thanks for that. My head was the one part of me that didn’t hurt,” Steve grumbles, rubbing behind his ear, where his skull had connected with the doorframe.
“Oh my god, I hit your head,” Eddie says again.
Steve blinks at him. “Yeah, we established that. Did you hit your head, too, or–”
“Shit, shit, are you dizzy? Is your vision blurry? Wait, fuck, you’re not wearing your contacts – are things blurrier than normal?” Eddie places his hands on either side of Steve’s face and stares into his eyes, as if he’ll be able to tell that way if Steve’s brain has finally been knocked loose. “Do you feel anything, like, swelling? Bleeding? Leaking?”
“I’m pretty sure you can’t feel that sort of thing happening,” Steve says, and Eddie’s face crumples.
“Shit, you’re right, I should take you to the doctor,” Eddie declares, moving to stand up.
Steve grabs him by the arm and pulls him back down. “Eddie, I’m fine.”
“No, your brain could be leaking or some shit, and you’re gonna have, like, an aneurism, and you’re gonna die, and it’s going to be all my fault because I hit your head and I killed you,” Eddie rambles, shaking his own head.
Steve isn’t sure if any of that is even correct, but he’s willing to bet Robin has been sharing her worries about Steve’s head trauma with Eddie. “That’s not–”
“Your head is the one part of you we really can’t afford to hit!”
“As opposed to the rest of me?” Steve asks, one eyebrow raised.
“If it comes down to it, yeah!” Eddie bursts out. “Do you even know how many times you’ve hit your head?”
“Are you asking because you don’t know, or because you’re afraid I don’t remember?” Steve asks drily. “Because you weren’t even there for most of those times, man.”
“It’s not funny,” Eddie says, and he’s definitely trying to sound stern, but he’s verging a little bit on whiny; he seems like he’s starting to calm down, since Steve has so far failed to collapse and die.
“Okay, then, seriously, Eddie – I’m fine,” Steve promises. “You didn’t even hit me that hard, it barely hurts.”
“Steve, I love you, but you have a severely skewed sense of pain and should not be trusted to rate it on your own,” Eddie says.
Steve rolls his eyes. “Fine. Here,” he grabs one of Eddie’s hands and pulls it around to where his head had hit the jamb, “feel. Are there any bumps? Cuts? Anything seem out of place?”
With a frown of deep concentration, Eddie runs his fingers gently from the top of Steve’s skull to the base, occasionally pressing a little harder, but never hard enough to hurt.
“Good?” Steve asks, once Eddie’s had a minute to feel for himself.
Eddie’s shoulders slump. “I guess.”
“Ah, don’t be disappointed. Maybe it’ll be a concussion next time,” Steve offers.
Eddie shoots him a wildly unimpressed glare. “That’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” Steve decides, but he takes Eddie’s hand from his head and brings it around to press a kiss to the back of it.
There’s definitely a smile ticking at the corners of Eddie’s mouth, but Steve doesn’t point it out.
“Do you want some ice, or something?” Eddie asks, and Steve shakes his head.
“What I want is to walk over to the bed and lie down, and I want you to come with me,” Steve says. “And in an hour, I want you to bring me more Tylenol and some of that really good tea that Joyce sent over. Deal?”
This time, Eddie does smile. “I think I can handle that.”
Steve smiles back. “Good.”
They get themselves situated, Eddie at Steve’s back with an arm slung over him, a single blanket pulled up to their waists (“Pretty sure you still have a fever, sweetheart,” Eddie had insisted. “You’re gonna cook yourself to death if you cover up.”), and in the dim, sleepy light filtering through their curtains, Steve presses back further into Eddie’s chest.
“I like that you care so much,” he says quietly, and Eddie squeezes him a little more tightly.
He shifts enough that he can press his lips to the spot where Steve had bumped his head. “Always will,” he murmurs, and hell if Steve doesn’t believe him.
[Prompt: Bridal carries]
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