#or it's more like.... theres such a huge disconnect bwteen me and being likable that i just cant believe it

[silenthillbunni]

having avpd is so hard bc yes i am extremely sensitive nd insecure nd thus difficult to deal w plus i self sabotage bc of my self critical thoughts. when i was a kid i was constantly picked apart nd criticized for every single little thing i did or said or thought nd now my brain's broken!!!!! yayyy

#it ruins everything for me #nd it's esp hard w relationships to other ppl #bc someone can tell me that hey no i like u i like talking to u nd prove it by keep talking to me for a year #but me? im like omg no what if they dont actually like me nd are just pitying me ?!? #or it's more like.... theres such a huge disconnect bwteen me and being likable that i just cant believe it #i rlly genuinely hate every single person around me when i was a child #they fkn tore into me nd everywhre i went all i got was criticism for my entire being nd existence #and now im stuck like this forever!!! will i ever be able to do anything at all???? #avpd #like when someone has anything positive to say to me my brain gets so confused #what do u mean u arent criticizing me rn???? idgi???? so sad :((