#oh my god briana i just had the same reaction fuck

[jawritter]

Life Of The Party

Summary: A game of truth or dare gets’s really interesting, when alcohol is involved. 

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo​

Square Field: Rob Benedict

Word Count: 1410

Warning: Implications of past as well as future smut, oral (male receiving), alcohol consumption, mentions of being drunk, language. This one is pretty much porn, not sorry. 

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This is my first ever Rob x Reader fic, so please be nice lol. Feedback is golden, do not copy my work! I hope you all enjoy this one!

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“Okay Y/N, truth or dare,” Richard asked, staggering into your circle of friends in his living room with an open bottle of Crown, and a bag of popcorn, flopping down with an exaggerated grown next to Jared, who chuckled at the thought of what he was gonna do to Richard when he passed out first as usual.

“Dare, pick dare,” Misha drunkenly whispers yells, elbowing you annoyingly. 

“Okay, okay dare,” you growl, swatting at Misha, who promptly falls off of the cushion he was only half balanced on, causing Jensen to snort out a laugh into his own red solo cup. 

“YAS QUEEN!” Richard yells, slapping his hands together, and giving you a mischievous grin that seriously made you a little uneasy. 

Richard had flown Jensen, Misha, Rob, Jared, Briana, Kim, and yourself to his house as soon as the quarantine was lifted in order to have a friend’s get together/Christmas celebration now that people were safely able to be in the same room with each other again. Richard’s parties were always a promise of two things, a good time you all hoped no one would remember in the morning, and a damn horrible hangover the next day. 

“Okay, okay, you have to go in that room back there where Rob is having a pity party for himself, don’t say shit, just drop down on your knees in front of him, and suck him off,” Richard slurs. 

Misha pops up off the floor like a gopher out of his hole, and Jensen nearly chokes to death on his drink, while the others laugh at their reactions. Briana slaps Jensen hard on the back as he sputters, and Richard keeps locked eyes with your completely shocked face. 

“Can’t I just go flash him or something?” you whisper to the circle in front of you.

Richard shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest. “Nope, you either go in there and blow him, or you have to tell us what happened between you and Sebastian at Comic Con last year.”

Your ears burned and you knew you were blushing. The whole circle seemed to perk up at that little bit of information. You had told Richard about that little hookup in confidentiality, but apparently, alcohol brings forth loose lips from your extremely drunk friend. 

You weren’t about to throw Sebastian under the bus like that. Plus you don’t know if he wanted it out that he’d fucked Jensen’s PA at Comic Con. 

“Fine, fine,” you grumble, getting off of the floor with a huff. 

“Well, next time I’ma go sulk in a back room over my ex, then maybe I can’t…” Jensen started, but before he could finish Briana elbowed him hard in the side, “Ouch!” 

You chose to ignore his comment and tried to calm your nerves, crossing the floor to the bedroom door. An eerie silence had fallen over the room behind you, and you knew everyone was watching.

“Remember Y/N, not a word, just do it,” Richard said. 

Man, you hopped he didn’t freak out on you. Rob had been friends with you ever since you started working for Jensen as his PA when he took on a new role with the boys, as well as his new production company. It was a big workload, and he needed the backup. It was the best decision you had ever made. It opened up a lot of doors for you that you never thought you would have opened, but it also gave you friends you would cherish for a lifetime. 

Opening the door to the room you see Rob sitting on the edge of the bed with his phone in one hand, and an open bottle of beer in another, taking a deep swig as he turns his head to look at you from where he was gazing out of the window.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” he smiled at you as you closed the door behind you, slipping the lock to prevent them from getting too curious and coming in for proof. 

You cross the floor with your heart pounding against your rib cage, coming to a stop in front of him, and placing your finger to your lips, shushing him as you wink and sink down to your knees in front of him. 

You watched confusion flashed across his face as your hands slipped sensually up his thighs, making their way to his belt, undoing it quickly and lowering his zipper before he had a chance to react. 

“What...What are you? Oh, God.”

Reaching inside his pants you quickly remove his flaccid length stroking it in your hand and blowing lightly across the tip, smirking as his hips jerked in response, and his cock started to swell under your administrations. 

“Oh my God,” he murmured, quickly undoing his button and swatting you away only long enough to shove his pants and boxers down in a hurry. You bit your tongue, desperately wanting to respond with, “I thought you went by Rob now,” but remembering you weren’t allowed to speak.

By the time you took him in your hands again you were pretty impressed at the fact he was already fully erect, and already forming a little bead of precum at his swollen tip. Even more impressive was the sudden need you had to taste him.   

You had always thought Rob was cute, but you had never really seen him that way, not until this point. 

Giving him your best doe-eyed look you slowly run your tongue all the way up the thick vein on the underside of his cock, stopping to tongue at his slit, your own pussy clenching around nothing at the little moans that were already falling from his lips as his eyes closed and his head lulled back; the salty taste of precum invading your taste buds as you hollow out your checks and swallow all of him that you could until you were nose to hilt with him. 

“Holy shit,” he groaned, grabbing your hair and moving it out of your face as you bag to bob up and down his shaft, licking, sucking, and jerking what you couldn’t fit in your mouth as you went. 

You never expected this to turn you on the way it did, but damn. The weight of him on your tongue was downright intoxicating. It didn’t take long for his legs to start shaking, and his breath to come in short, uneven bursts as he got closer and closer to his release, his hips moving along with the pace you had set. 

You could tell he was close, right on the edge, all he needed was a little push to get there, and you had a feeling you knew just how to do it. 

Carefully you slip your left hand under his quickly tightening sack, massaging slowly, pulling more strangled groans from his lips as his legs tightened and jerked, almost there, but still not quite falling over the edge. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you hollow out your cheek and swallow him whole in one goal, gagging slightly around the tip, that was all it took for him to spill into your waiting mouth, and you eagerly sucked down all he had to give until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Rob sat on the bed, wide-eyed and panting as he slowly got to your feet, carefully wiping your mouth because, well, dammit you were a lady after all, and giving him a wink as you head towards the door. 

“Merry Christmas Rob,” you say as you grab a hold of the doorknob, knowing damn good and well there was a crowd waiting outside the door because you heard them shuffle away at the close sound of your voice. 

“Merry Christmas Y/N,” he replied, voice much higher than normal. 

You exit the room grinning only to find a very disgruntled Jensen standing not far from the doorway. 

You remember his previous comment as you cross your arms in front of you, leaning against the doorway, more than a little riled up from the task you just completed, the alcohol making you braver than what you would have been normally, and after all, it was a party. 

“Truth or dare Jay,” you say with your best devilish smirk, one that he quickly returned, taking a deep swing of the whiskey bottle he was holding before pinning you to the door frame. 

���Dare.”

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#spnchristmasbingo #rob benedict #rob benedict x reader #rob benedict x you #rob benendict fanfiction #rob benedict smut #rob x reader #rob x you #rob smut #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn smut #jensen ackles x reader #rpf #jawritter #life of the party

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 26) - Reaction (Jensen’s POV)

Summary: Jensen finds the reader in the midst of a panic attack which only leads to more questions he wants to ask.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 2729

Warnings: swearing, panic attack, drug use (Klonopin, used for panic attacks),...nothing else? Let me know.

A/N:  Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

Jensen’s POV

Kim, Briana and I were going through the second take of the scene, Y/N standing a ways away from everyone. Once I was in Dean’s frame of mind, trying to save two people he cared about, I didn’t notice anything that had happened around us.

Jared came over to me after the scene cut, a look of worry on his face. “Dude, Y/N just lost it and ran out. She was watching you guys film, she ran backwards into me…and didn’t seem to know to who I was.”

Briana walked over just then, “What’s going on? Where’s Y/N?”

“Apparently she lost it and ran out, I’m assuming my trailer? I don’t know where else she would go.”

“Shit.”

That was enough to worry me, as I yelled to Bob that we needed a break, I ran out not knowing what I was running into. I got to my trailer and Cliff was standing there. “Is she,” before I could even finish, he answered my question.

“Jen, I’m sorry man, she told me not to get you,” he started.

“It’s fine Cliff, it’s not your fault.”

The three of us ran in as I called her name, not seeing her in the main room, but noticing the closed bedroom door. I tried to open it, only to find it locked, and Y/N still not responding to me. The noises I heard from the other side of the door damn near sent me into a tailspin; I couldn’t get it open fast enough. Fuck! It’s locked from the other side. Seriously?! No way to get it from here?! Knowing that the only reason this was so difficult was because I was panicking.

Somehow remembering that I had Dean’s lock pick in my pocket, thinking I would never actually use it, I managed to get the lock open easily considering the state my brain was in. It may have been just an RV door, but it had a fairly decent lock on it. Swinging the door open I froze, my heart shattering when I got in the bedroom. She was curled up on the floor in the space between the bed and the wall hugging her knees, screaming for it to stop.

I was in front of her in three steps and when she looked up and screamed again; I didn’t know if it was because she wasn’t expecting me or she was so far into this attack that she didn’t recognize me. Either way, I felt my heart break even more than it already was. I knew Jared and Briana were standing there, and I also knew that neither of them were going to leave her.

“Y/N, sweetheart it’s me. It’s Jensen. Can you look at me?” I asked her, managing to put both hands on her cheeks to help direct her gaze. It took a couple minutes, she kept her eyes were wrenched shut. But when she was finally able to look at me, it was an automatic transition; anyone of us could see the moment in her eye when she recognized me, throwing her arms around my neck, body still wracked with heavy sobs.

“Y/N, I need to you breathe for me, give me your hand, remember?” I asked her, putting her hand on my chest and taking slow deep breaths, trying to get her to follow suit. I turned back to Jared, “Hey, can you ask Bob if I can have at least a couple hours, I’ll stay late if I have to.” He nodded, staying there for a moment before turning and walking out with an expression I only ever saw from him because of Sam.

I heard Briana talking, but didn’t know what she was saying, until she put her hand on my shoulder, “Hon, I have a Klonopin in my purse, I’m going to go get it and some water for her, I’ll be right back, ok?” All I could do was shake my head, keeping my eyes on Y/N. I wanted so bad to break down, to cry and to hold her. But I knew that she needed me strong and functioning, to make it through this.

Y/N kept saying incoherent words that I couldn’t piece together. She kept repeating that it hurt, her arms and wrists, the knives, the chains; Oh god what happened to her?

Coaxing her to slow her breathing again, I finally felt her coming back. Her body not tormented with the heavy sobs anymore, but still crying. Her hand was still on my chest, clenching my shirt now, and I was still whispering for her to breathe, in between telling her that she was safe. Briana came back with the pill and water and set it on the bed, knowing she wasn’t in a state to take it just yet.

Feeling like she was maybe calmed down enough, I tried to get her to look at me or talk. “Y/N, can you look at me, do you know where you are?” I asked her. She nodded, and through red rimmed and tear filled eyes and a horse throat she managed to say, “Your trailer.”

“Ok, that’s good, baby. Do you want to sit or lay on the bed? Or the couch?” Hoping she would answer one or the other, since my leg started cramping in the small space. But I knew I would stay there for another five hours if she needed me to.

“Bed” she said quietly. I helped her up, pulled back the covers then took off her coat, followed by her shoes once she was sitting. “Do you think you can drink some water and take this for me? It’s just a Klonopin; it’ll help relax you. Is that ok?” I had both in my hands and she nodded, taking the pill as I opened the water for her.

“Can you lay down for me? I’m going to talk to Briana real quick, then I’ll be back, ok?” She nodded again and I turned to leave, fully expecting Briana to still be in the doorway, surprised when I found it empty. I shut the door behind me and saw Briana on the couch, trying to wipe away her own tears.

“Bri, what the hell was that? That was full-blown panic attack. What happened?!” I asked her, scrubbing my hands over my face.

She exhaled slowly, trying to put her thoughts together, finally answering. “It was the scene we were shooting, Kim and I. Y/N will have to tell you more. Jen, I haven’t seen her like this since she came home…” she paused, almost lost in the thought of what I could only assume was Y/N after she flew back to Vancouver.

“She was kidnapped when she went down to find her brother; by the same people that killed him. She was held captive and tortured for days; I know you’ve seen the scars and burns on her. That’s why I asked her before we started if she was ok; I had a feeling that it might trigger something. But I had no idea that it would ever be that bad. Jen, I’m so sorry,” she said with her head in her hands.

I was sitting next to her on the couch by now, putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault, you were looking out for her and she thought she was fine. It’s ok,” I told her, rubbing her shoulder.

“I should go back to the set, I’ll talk to Bob. I’ll make sure they know you need some time. Text me if you need anything.” “Thanks.” I walked her to the door, asking Cliff to not let anybody knock or come in until I came out later.

I went back into the bedroom and slipped off Dean’s coat, flannel and boots leaving me in a t-shirt and jeans and climbed in bed with Y/N. Small tears were still falling, but her breathing had slowed and she seemed close to being asleep, the Klonopin working in her system. “Sweetheart?” I whispered, not wanting to startle her, but wanting to see if she wanted me close to her. It was a relief to me when she snuggled closer, although devastating when she clutched my shirt in her hands, probably scared that if she let go she would go back to wherever she thought she was a minute ago.

I wrapped my arms around her, “I’m not going anywhere baby, I’m right here. I got you.” I heard her whispering, not making out what she was saying at first, she was talking into my chest and her throat was still horse from the crying.

“What, baby?”

“I’m sorry…I wa’so scared…It hurts Jen. It still hurts…everything…” she said, the words coherent but not making much sense to me still. “Shh. You’re safe here. I’ve got you, try to sleep a little and then we can talk, ok?” I told her, really hoping that the pill would take away the ability to dream for a short while.

I finally felt her relax, slow breaths coming from her as I rubbed her back and held her, never wanting to let her go. What could they have possibly done to her? What did she see? Why would they do this?

I was surprised that I had managed to fall asleep with her, waking up maybe an hour later, holding her just as tight as I had been when we had drifted off. I only woke up because she stirred in my arms.

“Hey Y/N/N, how are you feeling?” I asked her quietly, brushing her hair back, running a thumb over her cheek and lips, kissing her forehead.

“Tired. Sad. Confused. I’m sorry that happened. Did I interrupt filming? Is Bob mad at me? He probably doesn’t want me here anymore,” she started rambling on, the grogginess evident in her words.

“Shh, no sweetheart. You didn’t interrupt anything. And you have no reason to be sorry. We’ve talked about this,” I reminded her.

“I know, but I didn’t know something like that happening again, especially in front of you. I thought I was past it,” she told me.

“It’s ok, I’m just glad that you’re ok now. I’m going to go talk to Bob, let him know what happened. I kind of skipped out of shooting that scene for the last couple hours. Let me go talk to him, see what I can do about reshoots and then I’ll come back, Ok? Maybe an hour or so,” Y/N nodded, trying to stay awake, fighting the Klonopin that was still in her body.

“Sleep sweetheart, it’s ok. Cliff is right outside the door if you need anything, he’s not leaving,” I told her, hoping she could have some peaceful sleep while I was gone.

I put the clothes that I had discarded back on, hoping they weren’t too wrinkled, Don’t really want the wardrobe ladies on my case today…I quietly pulled closed the bedroom door on my way out, asked Cliff to not leave until I got back, and to call me if he heard anything out of Y/N.

Heading back to the set I caught up with Bob, hoping to God that he didn’t rail me for what happened. “Hey, Bob, I’m really sorry about that. What setbacks to the schedule did it cause?” I asked, fearing the worst.

It looked like he was considering what to tell me first, the good or bad news. “Well Jen, you got lucky this week. We were able to switch around some scenes and got a few things that were supposed to happen later in the week done today. So it wasn’t a total wash. In fact, you can take the rest of the afternoon off, and have a 3:00 pm call time tomorrow.”

Clasping a hand on his shoulder, the relief washing over me, I thanked him. “Don’t thank me Jen, thank your coworkers,” he motioned over to where the three of them stood, along with the episode guests. “So go home and take care of Y/N. From the sounds of it, she needs you right now.”

“Thanks.”

I walked over to where Kim, Briana and Jared all stood. “How’s she doing,” Kim asked first, putting a hand on my arm.

My opposite hand went to the back of my neck as I let out a long exhale, finally having a second to gather my thoughts. Responding to all of them, “She’s fine, I mean not fine, but doing better. Thank you Bri, for that, it helped her.”

“No problem at all sweetie. I actually had that one in my purse because of Y/N last year, just in case. I guess I forgot it was there until…” she trailed off, not needing to finish the statement.

“We slept for a bit, and she’s sleeping more of it off now. God, you guys…” I started tearing up quite considerably. Scrubbing my hands over my face, Jared’s hand went to my shoulder, not needing to say anything.

I couldn’t help it. Thinking back to running into the bedroom with Y/N in the corner like that, talking her out of the place she thought she was, to come back to me. I tried to control the tears, even if these people were some of my closest friends; I hated crying in front of them. But I just hurt so much knowing that Y/N was hurting like that, and now that I had a minute to process everything, it was hitting me.

Reining it in, I continued, “I’m going to go take her home, Bob gave me a late call tomorrow, so we’re going to go talk about some things.” Breathing shakily I turned to Briana. “I’m not going to like what she has to say at all, am I?” I knew the answer. The poor girl was kidnapped and tortured for fucks sake. No good will come out of that story.

Briana just shook her head, looking at me with sorry eyes, “I’m sorry sweetie. It’s going to be a rough one. But she needs you, all of you.”

Kim and Briana each gave me a hug before they left to go work on a couple other scenes. I turned to Jared, who gave me one as well, letting me break down into his shoulder for a moment as he hugged me. “Hey man, if you need anything, you know I’m here for you both, just call.” The hug lasted for a few moments; it was the usual Sam and Dean heartfelt and teary-eyed hug. But it was comforting, and it was something I needed. “Thanks Jar.”

I turned to walk away, stopping at the make up trailer to get the makeup and remnants of fake blood off, then went back to my trailer to change and get Y/N.

“Hey, how was she?” I asked Cliff as I opened the door.

“Not a sound.”

Taking a second I paused, relieved, that I could take her home, hoping that we could talk about everything. “Cliff, I’m going to change and we’ll be ready to head out, is that ok?”

“Sure thing, Jen.”

I went back inside, quietly opening the bedroom door to see her twisted in the sheet, her jeans and the comforter thrown off onto the floor. I smiled at the site, admiring how peaceful she looked, but remembering what it took to get here. I walked over to her side of the bed and knelt down, rubbing my finger along her nose. After a moment she stirred, opening her eyes and looking into mine.

“Hey baby girl,” I whispered. She smiled at me, a cute sleepy smile, managing a horse, “Hi.” Rubbing my hand over her hair, I asked if she was ready to go home, she nodded and slowly sat up. I picked up the water that was next to her and handing it to her, “Here, this will help your throat, and then we can make some tea at home.”

While she took a few small sips of the water, I picked up her jeans, trying to lighten the mood, “What happened in here? Get in a fight with the covers and jeans?” She got out a small laugh responding, “No, I got hot.” I probably shouldn’t be thinking this, all things considered, but God she looks so adorable all sleepy head like. One day, I just know it.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @steffiemeheus @lizwinchester16 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @cats-are-untrustworthy @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @1233088 @fandomloveyeah @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @justforsavingfics @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93​​ @im-super-un-natural​​ @miserys-company23​​ @stellaa33​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish​ @winchester-top-the1975​ @siriuslyimmortal​ @zahiaouzidane @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity

#love heals the soul #jensen x reader #spn

[natasha-cole]

Hey Bartender Chapter 18: Roll Me Over

Pairing: Bartender!Reader x Rock God!Rob

Chapter Summary: Everyone reaches their breaking point. Reader may have reached hers; and she isn’t expecting this reaction from Rob.

Word Count: 5835 (including song lyrics because I’m too lazy to figure it out without them)

Warnings: swearing and lots of angst

Notes: MWahahahaha!

Don’t worry, it ain’t over yet.

I used Roll Me Over and Fair by Louden Swain in this chapter.

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7

Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10  Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13

Chapter 14  Chapter 15  Chapter 16  Chapter 17

It was the night of Louden Swain’s record release party. The place was packed; a lot of familiar faces, and even more unfamiliar faces. You had done your part in avoiding Rob since you had let him down, yet again. He had basically brushed you off again anyway; telling you he had something come up and reverting back to ignoring you. You knew he was stressed and busy with the new album coming out, and even more stressed over you. You didn’t blame him. He had obviously put himself out there completely to you, and you were sure you hurt his ego.

Now, it was awkward since you were both here and unsure of how to even approach each other. You had promised yourself that it was over, and you wanted to mean it. Not because you were too worried about getting yourself into another shitty situation; but because you were worried about hurting him any more than you already had. You weren’t capable of love, you couldn’t even admit that you liked the guy. It was no longer an issue of the two of you being bad for each other. You knew you were the one who was bad for him.

Rob mostly avoided you tonight, probably embarrassed over the way he had admitted his feelings for you, just for you to kick him out of your bed. He had taken you out on two dates apparently, and the two of you had had a really nice time, but you still couldn’t accept the fact that he had said he loved you. It was too much, and you really thought that he was losing his mind at this point. Still, you engaged in an actual conversation with him, maybe flirted with him, and certainly didn’t jump on the defense over the ‘couple’ talk at breakfast. You were being cruel, and he was being way too open.

You wanted to remain friends, and you tried to be friendly. There was a short conversation, some laughter, and some glances at each other before he headed off to set up for the show. There was also a woman in attendance that you felt you recognized who seemed to stay awfully close to Rob the entire time.

You didn’t have much time to study her, or to feel jealous. You were busy, and you knew you had to be focused tonight since it was a big deal for the guys, as well as for Kim. You tried to ignore everyone, and you tried to ignore the way your stomach twisted into knots just at the idea of him being with someone else. Lost in thought, and work, you looked up at one point to see Jason heading your way.

“Who’s your friend?” You asked flirtatiously as Jason approached the bar with the stranger. Despite the fact that you were a mess tonight, you slipped easily into your role of Lola.

“This is Rich,” Jason answered.

“Hi Rich. I love meeting new friends.”

“He’s the band manager.”

“Fancy. Sounds like an okay job.”

“Hey, I’m happy to work with talent like this,” Rich chuckled.

You reached a hand out to him which he took, “I’m Lola. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“No shit…” Rich replied, giving you an amused look, “THE Lola?”

You pulled your hand from his, now uncomfortable. “I didn’t realize I was famous.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he continued.

“All good I hope. But, it’s more likely you haven’t heard good things.”

“Maybe a bit of both,” Rich laughed.

“I’m confused,” you admitted, turning to look at Jason.

“Hey, your name might have been dropped a few times in the studio,” Jason replied.

“I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“If it makes you feel better, it was either ‘Lola’ or ‘bartender’. None of us know your real name even if Rob said you had told him.”

“Well, I suppose I don’t have to punish him later then.”

“He was right,” Rich added, “you are a firecracker.”

“I’m very curious as to what was said about me though. I didn’t realize I was the talk of the band.”

“You were mostly the talk of Rob. The band didn’t have much to do with it. He is the lyricist after all.”

“I knew he wrote a song about me, just didn’t know everyone else knew it was about me.”

“Well, I didn’t really know much about that. All I do know is that you were mentioned during recording.”

“Jason? You two need a drink?” You asked, wanting to change the subject and change it quickly.

Jason ordered for him and Rich, leaving so that they could watch the show from somewhere closer. You were grateful for that, already feeling thrown off at the idea that Rob may have mentioned you outside of the bar. You certainly never talked about him to anyone other than Briana, and you had assumed he kept your existence fairly quiet as well. No one wants to throw it out there that they are sleeping around with someone.

You recognized her from somewhere. You couldn’t help but stare as you tried to work. It was really bothering you; not so much that you couldn’t place her, but mostly the fact that Rob had brought her here… you hated that they seemed so close. You also couldn’t help but notice the way she hung around Rob as the band set up. She was right there as Rob made his way to the bar, just minutes before they were due to play. They seemed to be in the middle of a conversation as they walked and their closeness left you feeling uncomfortable. She wasn’t the same woman that he had shown up with in an attempt to make you jealous. But, you knew that you had seen her before.

“Bartender,” Rob said casually. The woman he was with was close by and you figured he was trying not to seem interested in you.

“What’ll you have?”

“The usual.”

“Your friend there?” You nodded to the woman who had just joined him at the bar.

“I’ll have a vodka martini,” she replied.

“Of course you will,” you looked at Rob, giving him a playful smile. The woman still looked very familiar. She also seemed very professional and not at all like anyone else Rob hung out with. You focused on making her drink, grabbing Rob’s beer when you were done and delivering the drinks to them. The woman thanked you and turned her attention to talking to some other women behind her.

You tilted your head at Rob, raising your brows as if to ask about the girl he was with.

He didn’t indulge you; instead, he drank his beer while eyeing you with a sly grin. The two of you engaged in a silent conversation. You gathered that he was definitely here with her. He figured you wanted to know who she was, and he teased by basically saying he wouldn’t tell you.

“I like your shirt,” he said, still ignoring the fact that you were curious about the woman.

You leaned back, displaying your band tee that you were wearing for the first time.

“Well, it is your record release, I sort of had to wear it.”

“Looks good on you.”

“Hmm, I’ve been told that at least one fourth of the band looks good on me.” You didn’t mean to flirt. In fact, you knew you shouldn’t. The jealousy of knowing that he was here with someone else had taken over though. You didn’t want it to, but you couldn’t help it anymore. You suddenly felt that is was necessary to fight for what was yours, even if he really wasn't. You didn’t know this woman, but she was stepping in on something that you still felt was yours. You had literally just been with Rob a week ago, and even if you felt that he was doing this again to make you jealous, you played along.

As soon as you said it, the woman turned back to the two of you. You had said it loud enough that you were sure she had heard. She gave you an unamused look before turning to Rob. You watched as she leaned in, awkwardly giving him a kiss on his cheek.

“I’m going to go sit at the table,” she said softly. “I’ll see you after the show.”

Rob nodded, leaving his head down as she walked away.

“Wow, you really do move quick,” you said. “I’m sorry if my joke was inappropriate. I don’t mean to mess up your game.”

“She’s my ex-girlfriend.” Rob said calmly as he looked up at you. “I mean, I know you don’t care, but I figured I should tell you anyway. I tried to tell you about her at one pointt, but I knew that was a bad idea.”

“Oh, I thought she looked familiar,” you replied, feeling a knot in your throat now. “I didn’t realize you were still seeing her.”

“I’m not. But, she got a hold of me a few weeks ago and said she wanted to talk.”

“You’ve been seeing your ex girlfriend for a few weeks? While you’ve been fucking me?” You felt yourself get angry without really knowing why.

“Okay, first of all, this is coming from a woman who literally had a boyfriend while she was sleeping with me?”

“Well, I think we can all agree that I’m pretty messed up. I just didn’t realize that you were too.”

“Secondly, I’m not sleeping with her. We’ve been talking. So stop pretending to be jealous for a minute.”

“I’m not jealous, I have nothing to be jealous about,” you lied.

“We’re talking, that’s it.”

“So, you’ve been talking?”

“Yeah. I don’t know…” he trailed off, looking away from you, “she wants to give us another shot.”

“Oh,” was all you managed to say. You swear you felt an ache in your chest as he explained. It didn’t make sense to feel this way, after all, you didn’t want him; not like that anyway.

“Bartender, since you and I are strictly fucking around, can I still pay you for advice?”

“I don’t know that I’d be much help in the way of this kind of advice, but I can give it a shot.”

“She left me, you know… before you and I started hooking up. I was pretty hurt over the whole thing. Kinda moved on from it since we had our thing going on. But, she’s back right now and I’m sort of confused at how to handle this. I don’t know if I should give her another chance?”

“It depends,” you replied, trying hard not to show that you were sort of freaking out over the conversation. “Why did she dump you in the first place?”

“That would be my fault,” he explained, “you know, the life of a musician. Traveling too much, late night shows, working every day. I wasn’t around enough.”

“What’s changed her mind?”

“She said she misses me. Says she made a mistake and she’s willing to be with me and just learn to get past the life I lead.”

“Sounds like a good woman.”

Rob nodded, giving you a soft smile.

“What are you asking me exactly?” You added.

“If you think it’s smart for me to give it another chance.”

“You know, when I said you could always ask me for my professional bartender advice, I didn’t mean that this was my specialty. Relationships are not something I know a lot about.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if it would be weird to ask you about this. I just thought we were at least friendly enough that I could come to you with things like this.”

“We’re friends. Maybe really messed up friends,” you grinned, “I don’t know Rob, I guess… do what makes you happy. You love her?”

“I did, yeah. She hurt me, but I still care about her.”

“Then I guess you just need to decide if it's worth giving it another chance. You’re a total relationship guy,” You laughed. “and she’s wanting to give you that again.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry. It was stupid of me to bring this up to you.”

“It’s okay,” you reached over, grabbing his hand. “I’m… surprisingly happy that you feel comfortable enough to come to me with this kind of stuff.”

“You know, if I decide to try things with her again; this thing,” he said, motioning between the two of you, “has to stop.”

“Of course it does,” you replied. You forced a smile, just now realizing that Briana had been right. This was never going to last, not when he would find what he wanted somewhere else.

“You’re okay with that?”

“I don’t suppose I’d have a choice. Besides, this thing was supposed to end on multiple occasions.”

“We weren’t going to keep doing this forever, you know.”

“I know,” you said, “all good things must come to an end. At least you’ll be getting what you really want.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know.” You turned from him, avoiding his gaze when you thought you felt tears well up. You fought them back, determined not to show any emotion. “I guess someday I’ll get what I really want as well. When I figure out what that is.”

“I have a lot to think about, don’t I?” He squeezed your hand that was still holding his, searching you for something. You had a feeling that you knew what he was searching for.

“You do,” you replied, “Just… don't make me a factor in that decision.”

“Yeah, I know.” His lips turned up briefly, as if he tried to smile but failed. You were sure the way you had denied his feelings for you was still fresh in his mind.

“So, think about what you really want. Just do what makes you happy.”

“I will. But, first I have a show.” He grabbed the shot that you had poured for him and downed it quickly before standing to head for the stage. “You watching?”

“I’ll watch the best I can,” you smiled as you motioned to the bar.

“Thanks for being here at our record release party. It means so much to us to have such a loyal fanbase. And we’re gonna play our new stuff, which you can now officially buy at our merch table.”

You leaned back against the bar, watching and listening in between helping customers. You really enjoyed their new stuff, and found yourself smiling at how great of a lyricist Rob really was. The band worked through most of the songs from the album, and you were impressed. Yes, you had indulged in their previous work; all of which you enjoyed. But, this was different in a way. You couldn’t help but feel as if most of these songs touched on whatever pain it was that Rob had been feeling in the last few months. Most of the songs were heartbreaking, some were fun, and all of them were great. You only hoped that you had remained just a small fraction of the inspiration behind the album. You at least knew one song was about you; and when you remembered that he was here with his ex, it sort of eased your mind slightly to think that the rest were about her.

Near the end of their set, Rob introduced the next song; which was strange because he offered no explanation for any of the other songs.

“This is one we’ve played once, before the album was even done. I wrote it about someone who kinda fucked me up. What we had was a little messed up, and maybe we were a little messed up, but I still loved her.”

You felt your breath catch, thinking for some reason that he was talking about you. Then, you remembered that his ex, or on again girlfriend, whatever she was; was sitting right up front, watching as well. It made more sense that he was talking about her. You certainly didn’t know details about their relationship, but you did know that he had loved her and had been very hurt when she left him. You steadied your breathing, turning to busy yourself with something else as you tried to fight back what might be tears. Why you were feeling so upset over all of this was beyond you. Yes, you cared about him, but not in the same way that he wanted you to.

Girl you come and say my name

You come and anything

Anything you say I melt for you

When you stare into my eyes,

You give me exercise

All the pain and lies, I follow you

You recognized the lyrics right away. It was the same song they had played the first night of their residency. It was the same song that he had said was about how shitty it was to fall in love. It was the song that he had blatantly told you he had written about you.

You're the choir and the church

I got thoughts that break away

They beg to stay

Like a heart attack

Right behind my back

Love is more than just a push

It's a thrust

It's a shove me down

Roll me over

When it's over

You turned your focus on him, knowing now that these songs were never about his ex. Everything he had written was about you. Everything from the way he talked about working on it, to the talk with Jason and Rich led you to this understanding. You were sure you had known all along, you just chose to ignore it. You didn’t want to be the girl behind the songs, especially not these ones. He looked toward you just then, and you made eye contact as he kept singing.

They say that winter's just begun

The clouds have shot the sun

It's bleeding in a shade of overcast

But I got warmth inside my coat

I'm soiling all my oats

A cord is pulling steadily at my throat

You're the executioner

I got thoughts that break away

They beg to stay

Like a heart attack

Right behind my back

Love is more than just a push

It's a thrust

It's a shove me down

Roll me over

When it's over

While he didn’t look away from you, you glanced around, trying to put your focus on something else now that you felt so uncomfortable. It wasn’t a happy song. It was painful to hear, and even more painful to know that you were the one to make him feel like this. You hated that he had let himself get to this point with you, and you kept telling yourself that it wasn’t your fault he had been so hurt.

Briana was watching you, giving you a sympathetic look as if to agree that it was sort of messed up for him to obviously put his attention on you during this song. You looked away from her, glancing back to Rob and you noticed his ex, turning back to see what had his attention. You felt yourself turn red when she spotted you, knowing damn well that the bartender she had caught flirting with him was the muse behind the song. She glared at you and you turned away again, only looking back to Rob every once in awhile.

Girl you come and pull me in,

You come and tuck me in

Tuck me and say you'll dream with me

You, you stay like apple pie,

You stain like Cali wine

Say the word and I will follow you

Your gates are open wide

Your heart began to race at the way he never took his eyes off of you during the entire song. For the first time in a long time, you felt a knot in your throat, tears threatening to spill. You didn’t know why. The song had been emotional; obviously for him when you had seen the way he had sang it, and it was surprisingly emotional for you. You realized then that the man had gotten in way to deep with you, and he was visibly distraught that he couldn’t have you the way he wanted to.

“I’m nothing,” you mumbled, looking over to Bri, “I’m just a bartender who messed around with the guy. Why is he doing this?”

Briana shrugged as she watched you begin to cry. It was all too much. All at once, you understood exactly how he felt. You realized how he had been hurt and still kept coming back to you. He had willingly kept going back for more, knowing that you couldn’t give him what he wanted. It was a love note in his own way. Even having heard him clearly saying those words to you didn't effect you the same way that this moment did.

You avoided his stare now, as well as the stares coming at you from other directions. You were sure his ex was pissed, and everyone else must be judging you.

I got thoughts that break away

They beg to stay

Like a heart attack

Right behind my back

Love is more than just a push

It's a thrust

It's a shove me down

Roll me over

When it's over

When it's over

Rob sang the final chorus, putting an intense amount of emotion into it.

“Lola,” Bri began, “are you okay?’

“No, I’m not okay!” You shouted, still crying. “Everyone is staring at me and he looks so hurt right now.”

“You knew someone was going to get hurt,” she replied firmly, “and you knew it would be him. He’s a fucking musician, of course he’s going to write about this shit.”

“I’m not supposed to care.”

“Then why do you?”

“Because his ex is here and she wants him back, and I keep pretending that it doesn’t bother me. Then he sings that fucking song and just stares at me the entire time.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t want this! I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want her to come back and mess everything up.”

“There’s nothing to mess up Lola, he’s not your boyfriend.”

“I know that!” You shouted at her. You were increasingly angry. Not at her, at yourself again. You hated that you didn’t know how to express what you felt, and it was difficult considering you were feeling so much right now.

“Then why? Why are you so upset over something that you don’t want, something that someone else wants back?”

“Because I love him.” You said it before you could stop yourself. You had kept holding onto that for so long, letting the words hide in the back of your mind, hoping they would just stay there. You weren’t supposed to fall in love, and you had done so well at keeping it hidden. You began to cry a little harder.

“Jesus, Lola,” Bri whispered.

“This is all so fucked up. I can’t feel this way about him, and I thought we could just keep doing this without having to admit anything. Then she comes back into the picture, and that’s what he wants. He wants a relationship, and she can give that to him. That song was a big ‘fuck you’ to me and I just… I can’t.”

The band had moved on to another song, and you were still standing behind the bar, sobbing and just hoping that no one had caught on. You were embarrassed and angry at yourself for getting yourself into this position. There was a reason why you neglected to involve actual emotions in this relationship. There was a reason why you encouraged Rob to do the same. Now, with just one song, everything had spilled out.

You kept your back to the crowd, letting Briana take over while you tried to compose yourself. They were playing a slower song, and in between sobs, you listened to the lyrics.

Goddamn this affair

It's taking me there

It's taking away

A life of you

The vows gone astray

Just for the day

Heart so betrayed

Once tried and true

And you I can't stand what you put me through

And you I can't stand what you put me through

Now it was too much for you. You were certain now that every word to every song was aimed at you and how heartless and unfeeling you were. You wiped your face with the back of your hand and walked quickly from behind the bar to find somewhere to hide. As you made your way to the front entrance, Matt stopped you.

“You okay Lola?”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, still unable to control your tears. “I just need some air.”

You pushed past him and darted for the exit.

Once outside, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. You could still hear the music, muffled now that you were safe outside. You focused on your breathing, eventually getting yourself to relax a little and to stop crying.

You leaned against the wall, seriously considering just getting into your car and leaving until you realized all of your stuff was still inside. The last thing you wanted to do was go back inside though. So, you leaned your head back and breathed in the chill of the night air for a long time. You didn’t even notice when the music from the band inside had ended.

After a while, you were startled from your own thoughts by a voice.

“Bartender?”

You lifted your head, opening your eyes to see Rob standing there. He let the door close behind him when you looked at him, stepping slowly toward you.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded, eyes still burning. “I’m okay.”

“I saw you got really upset. Then you just ran out during the last song.”

“I got a little emotional.”

“Look, I’m glad you’re still here, because I wanted to talk.”

“I couldn’t leave, my keys are inside and someone made it a little uncomfortable for me in there,” you pointed out as you wiped more tears from your face.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Why? Why did you have to call me out like that?”

“I didn’t say your name.”

“No, but you stared at me the entire time. Everyone knew it was about me. The way your girlfriend looked at me...” you trailed off, words catching in your throat.

“Why did you get so upset anyway? It’s just a song. You knew I wrote it about you. You could have brushed it off, pretended it wasn’t you I was looking at.”

“I got upset because it was about me. A lot of those songs felt like they were directed at me.”

“They were,” he said. “I’ve been feeling a lot of different things since I met you, and I just- I write about it all. I’m sorry, but you made for a pretty good album.”

“Why me?”

Rob shrugged, “I fell in love with you. I told you that. I fell for you and I was stupid and I stuck around hoping that you’d feel the same way at some point. I thought you almost did for a second. But, all we ever got out of this was just hurting each other and not getting what either of us wanted.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you more.”

“Really?” He asked. You looked up at him, seeing that he now looked upset. His eyes were wet with tears, and he pursed his lips at you, trying to hold back. “After everything, you can still stand there and say that there is still nothing here?”

“What?”

“You really can just be with someone for this long and not have any feelings whatsoever?”

“No,” you said softly. “That’s the problem.”

“What did I do?” He asked in frustration.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall for you.”

“Okay, I know that.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “I’m so fucking stupid. I’m throwing away the best sex I’ve ever had all because I can’t keep my feelings to myself. What if I just promised to shut the fuck up? If I promised to never tell you how I feel ever again, could we just go back to what we were?”

You shook your head at him, “No, we can’t. Rob, your girlfriend… she’s what you really want.”

“No,” he said as he narrowed his eyebrows at you, “she’s not what I want. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Then why did you even ask me if I thought it was smart for you to take her back? If you weren’t considering that it would be good for you, why ask?”

“I was just… trying to make you jealous.”

“Really? You still think that’s the way to handle all of this? You can’t get me to say what you want me to say, so you throw out the fact that you could easily be with someone else?”

“I’m an idiot, what can I say?”

“We can’t keep going like this,” you said softly.

He turned from you, running his hands down his face as he breathed out heavily. “God, I really fucked everything up.”

“No, you didn’t. I did.”

“I’m just, so into you. I just wanted to keep being with you even if it meant nothing to you, because I’m pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, and we can’t go back to what we were,” you began.

“Yeah, I got that part. We’re done. You’re done.”

You held a hand up to him, indicating that he needed to shut up. “We can’t keep doing this because it’s too hard. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

Rob shook his head, showing that he thought he understood what you meant.

“I don’t think of you as ‘the guy I mess around with’ anymore.”

“Yeah, we’re friends,” he replied, “really fucked up friends.”

“No,” you said in return. You paused for a moment, considering whether you should say it. You had spent a lot of time ignoring how you felt, letting yourself ache over the feelings in an attempt to appear to be uncaring.

“Rob, I love you.” You felt the words fall effortlessly from your tongue. It was as if a weight had been lifted from you, and you were terrified at the same time. “It’s really fucking scary to say it out loud.”

“What did you say?” He asked in disbelief. It was as if he had heard exactly what you had said, but assumed he heard it wrong.

“I said I love you.” Again, it wasn’t easier to say it the second time. You immediately wanted to take it back; but, there was no turning back from this. You had finally reached your own breaking point, your walls were gone, mostly. You suddenly felt very vulnerable and afraid; feelings that you told yourself you would never let yourself feel again. But, here he was. He had been completely open and honest with you, and you had done nothing but lie to him for so long. You assumed it was a combination of things that broke you; the songs, his ex wanting him back, the fact that you couldn’t stand to lose him. So you caved. You finally gave in to what he wanted. Now, it was just a matter of what he chose to do with that.

For once, he was left speechless. He watched you, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. Surely, he had never expected you to say it, much less admit that you even liked him at this point. He said nothing; just looked at you in disbelief. You couldn’t really tell at this point if he was angry, or shocked, or thrilled that you had said it.

When he didn’t respond after what seemed like forever; the two of you just standing feet apart, staring at each other; him still in shock and you still crying; you panicked.

“I got so upset because you’ve been hurt by me, thinking that I don’t care about you,” you started to explain. “But I do care, I care so goddamn much that I hate myself for it because I wasn't supposed to care. I love you and I’m just so afraid to love you.”

“Really?” He chuckled suddenly. You saw him roll his eyes at you, turning away from you as he continued to laugh. “You are a real piece of work, Lola.”

You felt your heart sink just then.

“I thought you’d find a point where you might consider that it’s fucked up to keep messing with someone like you do with me.” He turned back to face you, shaking his head as if he didn’t believe what he was hearing. “How dare you say something like that when you don’t mean it?”

“Rob,” you began, voice cracking again when you realized he didn’t believe you, “I’m sorry. I was horrible to you, I know that. I know it’s fucked up, but I only acted that way because I love you…”

“Stop it!” He cut you off again. His face was turning red with anger. You had seen him pissed off before, but right now, he was seething. “I am so sick of being led on. I let you do it though, and I sort of came to terms with the fact that you would never feel the same way. You made that crystal clear. Now, you’re just being a bitch.”

You decided against arguing. He was angry, and you understood. You couldn’t imagine what it was like for him right now to have the girl that he had fallen in love with, who adamantly told him over and over again that she just didn’t feel the same way about him, tell him that you loved him. Maybe this wasn’t how you expected him to react, but it made sense. You had toyed with him for so damn long, of course he didn’t believe you right now.

“You got jealous,” he added, “realizing that I’m not going to stick around forever, not for this. Don’t get me wrong, it’s flattering. But, you don’t get to say shit like that when you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it,” you replied, “I understand why you think I don’t, but I do.”

He let out a frustrated sigh, walking toward the door to the bar. Before he disappeared inside, he turned back to you and you could see the hurt in his eyes again.

“Leave me alone,” he muttered. “I’m done with Lola and I’m done with you.”

You flinched as the door shut heavily behind him, breath catching. When it was quiet again, and you were alone; you let out a gasp just in time for the sobbing to begin again. You had fucked up so badly that he didn’t even believe you when you finally let yourself feel something for him.

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#hey bartender #rob benedict x reader #rock god! rob #bartender!reader #rob benedict rpf #louden swain au

[closetspngirl]

Love Heals the Soul (Part 32) - Wait

Summary: Reader ends up in the hospital, Jensen has a hard time with it.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1552

Warnings: minor swearing, being in a hospital, talk of surgery (nothing graphic), sad Jensen

A/N: I’m not a doctor, nor do I know how things work. I doubt you can cast a broken arm AND operate on the same arm for carpal tunnel. But who knows. Maybe you can. In this story, it works.  Feedback is always welcome! Italicized are lyrics, POV thoughts or text conversations; you can tell by the context

Jensen’s POV

Cliff had been the one to drive a handful of us to the set location, so he was there and able to take Bri and I to the hospital, not even going back to our trailers to change. I had to get there and see Y/N, I didn’t care that it was as Dean, I needed to know that she was ok.

Briana put her hand on my knee squeezing it. “She’s going to pull through, she’s a tough girl.”

“God Bri, she’s been through so much, and now this. Why?” It was barely a horse whisper, trying to keep the tears from falling.

The rest of the ride was silent.

When we got to the hospital, Cliff barely had the SUV pulled to the curb before I jumped out, Briana following me. Thank god she was there, because I had no idea what I was doing or what to say. We got to the registrars desk inside and it was all muffled, I knew Briana was talking and then taking my hand in hers and leading me to where Y/N was. When we got to her floor, I came to enough to ask where we were going.

“I just talked to the nurse’s station, she’s in surgery, has been for about an hour but she should be almost done, maybe another forty five minutes to an hour. They’ll come talk to us when she’s out. So for now we need to sit here and wait, I’m sorry hon. I’m going to  go call her parents, are you going to be ok for a minute?” I could only nod my answer.

Truthfully, I was on autopilot; I heard her words but I didn’t listen. I didn’t want to sit here and wait for them to tell me if she was going to be ok or not. I pulled out my phone to text Jared, knowing he was probably still on set so he wouldn’t answer right away.

We’re here. She’s in surgery. I don’t know anything else yet. Jar…fuck, I can’t lose her, man. I don’t know what to do right now. She promised that she wasn’t going anywhere. Briana is on the phone with her parents letting them know.

A few minutes had passed, in which time I had zoned out until I felt my phone vibrate.

Y/N is going to be fine, she’s right; she’s not going anywhere. You know how strong she is; you know she’s going to give this fight everything she has.

After we’re finished up here I’ll have Cliff come get me and I’ll bring you a change of clothes and some food. I’ll be there in a few hours. You gotta hang in there man.

Thanks.

---

It felt like a damn eternity before the doctor came over to us, and I spent the better part of it pacing a hole in the floor. “You two are here for Y/N?” We both nodded and stood upon his arrival.

“I’m Dr. Timmel, I was the operating surgeon on Y/N, and she’s stable and will make a full recovery.  She came in with a concussion, which is common for a car accident, some bumps and bruises and a broken arm. She was quite frantic going into surgery, talking about not wanting to because of the hallucinations. I had time to look over the notes from her last surgery, and saw she had a reaction to the anesthesia, so we were able to give her something else and she responded well to it. I did give her a sedative after surgery, so she’s going to be out for another few hours, but you’re both more than welcome to go see her when she’s moved to her room, maybe another thirty minutes. Do either of you have any questions?”

It was like I was playing catch-up in my head, going over everything that he just told us. “Umm…Surgery? For a broken arm? How bad was it?” I asked him, fearing the worse and starting to panic.

“The broken arm was simple, just had to reset it and cast it. The surgery was actually because of her hands, well one of them. She was responsive when she came into the ER, telling us that she couldn’t feel her hands. It was when I looked over her notes that I saw the surgeries that she had had done for them, figuring that this was probably the cause of the accident. Of course that’s just speculation, the responding officers will be able to tell you more. I was able to get enough information from her and her chart to figure out the best course of action, and of course her permission to do the first surgery.”

“It was necessary to do it now, since she didn’t have feeling in them. I was able to operate on the same arm that broke, her left one. It was tricky, but I wanted her to have a least one useable hand during both healing processes. Her right hand has lost a lot of function, but she can still use it. It’ll mostly be fine motor skills that she’ll have issues with, so she might need help with some things. Please, sit, have a coffee, and I’ll have a nurse come get you when Y/N has been moved.”

Sitting back down, I thought about what I had decided yesterday on set, that we would talk about her hands. She was supposed to be meeting the doctor before the end of the month; it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

All I could do was sit there with my head in my hands, elbows on my knees. Briana rubbed a hand across my back, not having to say anything.

Time passed oh so slowly; one minute felt like ten, when finally a nurse came out. “I can take you both to see Y/N now.”

When we got to the door the nurse paused, “I want to warn you, she looks a little beat up, cuts and bruises mostly, casted arm and wrist. She is fine though. She is breathing on her own, but has been given oxygen at least through the night to help her out a little bit. She’s also been given a sedative, so she’ll be out still for a couple hours. You’re more than welcome to stay as long as you’d like. I’ll be back by in a couple hours to make sure she’s ok, if you need anything, just press the call button by her bed, my name is Rachel.” She smiled a meek smile, opening the door and letting us go in first.

She followed after, checking to make sure all the monitors were reading appropriately and writing down a couple notes in her chart, then left. I didn’t make it half way to the bed before I stopped and stared at her. The monitors beeping, tracking everything that was going on with her, the tube running just below her nose; I couldn’t stand to see her like this, I knew the tears were there, but I couldn’t stop them. Briana was bent over the bed, brushing the hair away from her face. I could barely make out what she was saying.

“Hey sweetie. What did we talk about, you not ending up in the hospital again? Didn’t we say once was enough?” Her tone was light, and I could only imagine she was talking about when she was kidnapped and put in the hospital. “I’m not going to stay long baby, but Jensen is here, he’s going to stay with you. I’ll be back tomorrow. You need to heal yourself up and get back to this boy, he’s a mess right now.” I chuckled at that last part, at least in my head, not sure if the emotion made it to my face.

Briana kissed Y/N on the forehead before coming back to me, putting a hand on my face to draw my gaze to her. “You with me Jen?” I nodded. “Stay here with her, she needs you. I’ll come back tomorrow morning. Text me if you need me, even if it’s the middle of the night.” I nodded again.

She kissed my cheek and left, leaving me alone standing in the room, curtains drawn over the windows to keep most of the late afternoon sun out, with just the noise of the oxygen and monitors. I finally walked over to her, kissing her ever so carefully on her forehead, cupping her cheek in my palm, running my thumb over it.

“Hey sweetheart.” The tears were coming, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. “Don’t forget. You promised you weren’t leaving, that I was stuck with you. I’ll be waiting. I’m not going anywhere baby. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

I pulled the chair from the corner of the room over next to her bed sitting on her right side, slipping my hand into hers. I took out my phone again, seeing that I had a few texts and phone calls, but I ignored all of them, opening the text thread with Jared.

She’s in her room 308. I’ll tell you the rest when you get here. She’s ok. Banged up pretty good.

I’ll be there within the hour.

Tags: @maralisa124 @somilotopia @delightfullykrispypeach @steffiemeheus @lizwinchester16 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @mystrie @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @cats-are-untrustworthy @superromijn @gifsforgomez @sherlock44 @life-through-the-lenss @1233088 @fandomloveyeah @allonsy-yesiwill @amomentintime @headingforthe-target-of-insanity @justforsavingfics @ocean-waves-that-misbehave @justfloatingthroughtime @hobby27 @musiclovinchic93  @im-super-un-natural  @miserys-company23  @stellaa33  @greyeyedsmile14  @deanlovespiebabyandmeloljkiwish  @winchester-top-the1975  @siriuslyimmortal  @zahiaouzidane @hopefulcolorcollectorsthings @perpetualabsurdity @justanotheraccount12345678910 @effulgenttales @imaginationisgrowth @jbbarnesgirl

#love heals the soul #jensen x reader #spn

[natasha-cole]

Hey Bartender Chapter 9: Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound

Pairing: Bartender!Reader x Rock God!Rob

Chapter Summary: Even what seems to be a good thing can’t stay good for too long. Reader thought they were on the same page, so why is Rob being such an ass?

Word Count: 3321

Warnings: drinking as usual, swears, rude Robbie, angst

Catch Up: Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4   Chapter 5   Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8

“So, I think we need to talk about what happened last night,” Kim began as she sat across from you at the table. She had called you in early for a chat, something that you expected anyway since you knew Matt would tell her about the fight that had happened.

“Okay, what’s up?” You asked, trying to appear as if you didn’t think it was a big deal.

“Lola, you know I can’t have things like that happening here. It was bad enough the last time you had some crazy fuck hanging out here. I can’t keep you if this is a repeat of that.”

“Kim, I promise, what happened is nowhere near the same thing.”

“Then explain.” She sat quietly, hands folded in front of her as she waited for you to convince her.

“My ex came in here trying to cause trouble for me. The other guy is just a regular, his band plays here all the time. He just stepped in to stand up for me is all. It really isn’t anything to worry about and it won’t happen again.”

“So, I need to 86 both of them?”

“No, not both of them,” you replied, “Rob, the one in the band, he’s a good guy. He’s never given me trouble.”

“His band does bring in most of my business.”

“They’re really good. This place is packed when they play.”

“Okay, but the other guy is done. He’s not allowed here, Matt knows this.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I don’t know how you manage to attract the attention of creeps, Lola, you’re a sweet girl. I don’t mean to mom you, but you really need to consider the company you keep,’ Kim warned.

“I know. I should’ve been done with him a long time ago, but I guess I’m a glutton for pain.”

“I think we’re done here. See you for your shift tonight?”

“Of course, I’ll be here. Thanks for not firing me.”

“Who am I kidding? You’re my best bartender and a customer favorite. I couldn’t fire you even if I wanted to,” she said with a grin.

“Thank you Kim,” you said again, grateful that she wasn’t tearing you a new one like had expected her to. She was a nice woman who always treated you well, but even you knew better than to bring trouble into her bar.

After your meeting with Kim, you went back to your apartment, not at all surprised that Tyler wasn’t home. This made it easier to collect your things in a few boxes and bags. You had been very serious about leaving, fed up now with how stagnant the relationship was and how he still felt it necessary to keep tabs on you even thought he was obviously interested in someone else. You had let it go on for so long, and found yourself feeling restless now that you had met Rob and finally had a little excitement in your own life.

You had easily packed up your stuff, since you didn’t own much to begin with, and took Briana up on her offer for you to stay in her spare room for a while. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do for now.

The strange part about all of this so far was trying to get ready for work tonight while sharing a bathroom with Bri who was also working tonight.

“You wearing that?” Bri asked as she put on her lipstick.

“What’s wrong with this?” Looking down at your outfit. It was what you usually wore to work. Enough to be comfortable, yet low-cut enough to convince men to tip you more.

“Your band is playing tonight,” she reminded you. You frowned, knowing that it meant you’d see Rob again. While you very much enjoyed him, you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty every time you snuck out of his bed in the middle of the night. Not that the two of you were anything other than what you were, but a part of you felt like the man might be catching feelings, especially based on how he had behaved last night.

Briana moved to show you her shirt, the Louden Swain one that Rob had given to each of you. You had both decided to wear them on the nights the band played, to show your support for the most popular band to play in the bar.

“Yeah, I don’t think I have mine,” you mumbled. You really didn’t know where it was currently, and it didn’t help that you had literally thrown everything you owned into boxes and suitcases as quickly as possible in order to get away from Tyler.

“Your man is going to be disappointed,” she replied. “By the way, how is is face?”

She was referring to the fact that he had been involved in a bar brawl with your ex last night and walked away from it with a bloody lip and the beginnings of a black eye. Another thing for you to feel guilty about. Not only was the man a great lay, he had also quite literally defended your honor last night. And you repaid him by getting what you wanted from him and disappearing.

“His face will be okay, he’s still really hot. And, he’s not my man.” You corrected her.

“He will be, now that you’re single.”

“Bri, you do realize that he and I are just fooling around right? I have no intention of being in a relationship right now, especially not with him. But, he’s fun.”

“Girl,” Briana said, shaking her head, “you are getting yourself in way too deep if all you want from him is a fling.”

“I know what I’m doing,” you replied.

“Yeah, but obviously you don’t see the way he looks at you. It’s going to go real bad real fast if you keep it up.”

“How about you let me worry about that? He knows what this is, and we’ve both agreed to keep it what it is.”

Briana shrugged, not interested in arguing with you anymore on the topic. If there was one thing that she knew about you, it was that you were stubborn.

Later at the bar, you and Bri were already busy with the customers who came early for the show. The band, accompanied by a few other people that you hadn’t seen before, wandered in just before their set to prepare. You watched Rob, unable to look away. You hoped that he wasn’t upset again by the way you had left. He didn’t really acknowledge you, and you had to laugh to yourself at the idea that he just might be a little hurt.

Jason was the one who made his way to the bar to get drinks for the group, as he usually did while the band set up.

“Jason,” Briana greeted him, “the usual I assume?”

“Yeah, and a few more beers for our friends.”

“You got it.” Briana moved to get the order ready and you smiled at Jason who was watching you work now.

“Who are your new friends?” you asked curiously as you dropped off drinks to someone near Jason.

“Oh, one of them is Billy’s wife, one belongs to me, and the other one... is here with Rob,” he paused just before mentioning Rob to you, probably unsure if he should even mention the fact that he had brought someone to the show.

“Oh?” You asked, “Rob brought a date?”

“Uh, something like that.” Jason seemed uncomfortable. It was as if he didn’t want to outright say that Rob had a date tonight, but he also seemed to not want to lie to you.

“Good for him,” you replied with a smile. It didn’t phase you. At least, that’s what you told yourself at first.

“Yeah, I mean- I wasn’t sure if I should even say anything. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you…”

“Nothing’s going on,” you said, “why would anything be going on?”

“I mean, I know you two are kinda- hooking up or whatever.”

“Yeah, we were.”

“Are you okay with that?” He asked, pointing over to Rob who was now talking to the girl he showed up with. She was cute, and very flirty even from where you were standing. She was laughing at what appeared to be an extremely funny joke that Rob had told, gripping onto his arm as she spoke with him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Jason replied, “I honestly thought you two had a thing going on. I was pretty surprised when he invited her along actually. It’s going to mess up his ‘flirting with the bartender’ game he has going on.”

“You know, I’m surprised he got a date given how messed up his face is after the other night. Oh, and the fact that he’s so awkward.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No,” you chuckled, “he’s not my boyfriend. We were just messing around.”

“Oh, okay, that’s good.”

“Yup,” you said as you placed his drink order in front of him, “have fun.”

You listened to the band as you worked, taking note of how depressing their entire set seemed to be. They weren’t really playing songs that you had become familiar with tonight, instead, they seemed to be on a ‘let’s play every heartbreaking, depressing song we can think of’ kick. Regardless, Rob was still a great performer and you found yourself entranced by the sound of his voice and the way he put so much emotion into the lyrics.

After the show, the band sat at the bar and you focused on helping them, bringing them more drinks and engaging in small talk with them, well, aside from Rob who mostly appeared to be interested in the woman he had brought. You wanted to deny that you were the jealous type, but seeing him with her had you feeling a way that you really didn’t want to feel. Even more, you were sort of irritated that he had even brought her here. You were sure he had done it on purpose, maybe trying to get a reaction out of you. You often felt as if he took this whole thing between the two of you a lot more seriously than you did.

He wasn’t yours. That was your agreement. There was no relationship and he had every right to hang out with other women. But, the fact that he had literally been with you less than 24 hours ago and was now here with this woman, left you feeling pretty gross. You hadn’t considered the fact that he could be fooling around with other women this whole time, probably because you had only been with him and you assumed that your frequent trysts were enough for him.

Any interest that he had ever shown you was no longer there tonight. You basically didn’t exist if you weren’t bringing him and his date drinks. So, you placed your focus on the rest of the guys; laughing and joking with them and doing what you could to ignore Rob.

“Bartender,” you heard Rob’s voice call out as you were in the middle of listening to Stephen tell a story about their last tour. You were engaged in it and felt slightly annoyed as Rob insisted you wait on him.

“Yes?” you asked politely as you approached him.

“We’ve been sitting here for a while with empty drinks.”

“Next time, just ask,” you reminded him. You went to retrieve two more beers, shaking your head as you did so.

“I shouldn’t have to ask. It’s your job to pay attention to your customers,” he responded rudely. You stopped before handing the drinks over, prepared to tell him what an ass he was being, but you thought better of it.

“I’m sorry I was distracted,” you replied, “I’ll pay attention from now on.”

You started to walk back to where Stephen was sitting, still telling his story and you hoped you hadn’t missed too much of it.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy trying to hook up with every single guy in the bar, you wouldn’t be so distracted.” Rob said it quietly, but just loud enough for you to hear. He took a drink of his beer as he stared at you, waiting for your reaction.

“Excuse me?” You responded, walking back toward him.

“You heard me,” he replied. You swear you saw him swallow hard, almost nervous now that he realized you had heard him.

“Repeat that,’ you said firmly, not wanting to believe that you had just heard what you had heard.

“I said,” he drew out the words, “you’re always all over every man in this bar. Now you’re hitting on my friend.”

“Stephen?”

Rob nodded. You couldn't figure out what was going on. He kept a blank expression, and you honestly couldn’t read him or the situation right now.

“What are you doing?” You asked finally.

“What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.”

“Why are you being such an asshole? One night you’re ‘defending my honor’, getting your face smashed in by a guy who’s giving me a hard time; the next night, you’re talking to me as if I’m just some nobody that you’re not sleeping with.”

“Yeah, about that, I don’t think that’s working out. It was fun while it lasted, don’t get me wrong. You’re a good lay. But, I think I’ve got a little more respect for myself than to just keep fucking around with a random bartender just because she’s easy.”

He stared at you and you could see the hurt in his eyes, you could hear the bitterness in his tone. Regardless of whether or not you had hurt his feelings, he was way out of line. You felt your blood boil at the harshness of his words. He was being cruel, and you didn’t understand why.

So, this is what he really thought of you? You had at least hoped the two of you were friends, after all, you didn’t behave this way with just anyone. You had grown to trust the man and maybe even like him a little. You assumed with the way that he usually spoke to you and pursued you, that maybe he respected you a little too. You felt like an idiot now as you realized that he had gotten what he wanted from you and was ready to drop you before you could even think about it.

It would have been a good time to walk away from him, save yourself from the sting of his words and the look in his eyes. Right now, you had never felt so angry. You weren’t angry that he had brought some other women here tonight, you were pissed at the way he was disrespecting you. So, you did the only thing you could think to do in that moment, something you had always wanted to do to assholes who treated you like shit while you were at work but had never had the guts to do before.

You reached for his beer that was still full and sitting in front of him, grasping it tightly in your hand as you stared him down. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if you would get into trouble for causing another scene in Kim’s bar. You decided it would be worth it. Rob watched intently as you leaned across the bar closer to him; so close that you could have kissed him. you  lifted his drink up and immediately poured it’s contents over his head. You half expected him to freak out, you sort of wanted him to; but he sat there, in a state of shock as the cold beer drenched his hair, running down his face and onto his shirt. He closed his eyes, clenching his jaw as he sat there, almost allowing you to do this.

You could feel eyes on you now; from Briana, the band, their friends, strangers who were just trying to enjoy their drinks. You briefly felt regret over your action, but seeing him sitting there, soaked in beer made that regret disappear rather quickly. It didn’t help to make his words hurt any less, but it certainly made you feel a lot better.

You gently placed the empty beer bottle back in front of him as he looked at you with no expression. You leaned in again, dangerously close to his face now.

“Get the fuck out of this bar,” you said sternly. You could feel your eyes well up with tears. You had no intention of letting him get to you, but you were hurt and despite having just gotten your revenge, you couldn’t help but to still be pissed.

“What is wrong with you?” The woman that he was with shouted. You watched as she scrambled for napkins, trying to towel Rob off as the man continued to stare you down. The other guys; Jason, Billy, Stephen, and Mike watched the scene unfold and just stared, mouths agape and unable to react.

“I suggest you get your friend out of here before I fuck up the rest of his face,” you said to no one in particular, your voice shaky as you tried to control your anger. All of the guys moved rather quickly, getting their things and grabbing Rob to practically yank him off the bar stool. It was as if he were frozen there; unable or unwilling to move. His eyes never left you as his friends made quick work of dragging him out. Just as they were out the door, you felt hands grip onto your arm and you turned quickly, coming face to face with Briana.

“Y/N,” she said, giving you a sympathetic look, “go back to the house, please.”

You nodded, for some reason unable to talk. You couldn’t be sure if you were in shock over the way he had spoken to you or by your own actions. Either way, you felt your stomach tighten and you had to force back tears.

Matt, who had also stood back and watched the whole thing happened, came around the bar, putting an arm around your shoulder as you got your things. He led you from behind the bar, and just as he had always done until recently, he walked you to your car, making sure you got there safely.

You unlocked your car, replaying the whole scene in your head, wondering why you had reacted that way. You had definitely been treated worse, been called worse, by many other men. None of those moments had ever gotten to you the way that Rob had.

“Lola,” Matt began, “I won’t say anything to Kim. No one was hurt, there was no fight, she doesn’t need to know.”

“Matt, I poured a beer on a guy from a band that plays here all the time. Why did I do that?”

“Because he was out of line. You stood up for yourself.”

“I’m going to get fired,” you mumbled, well aware that Rob might be the kind of guy to complain about you to your boss over the fact that you had humiliated him, “I’m constantly a so close to getting fired, and I’m one step closer now.”

“I’m not going to say anything, neither will Bri.”

“Thank you,” you replied.

“Go home, get some rest, and don’t believe any of what he said to you.”

“If only you knew, Matt.” You laughed lightly, knowing that Rob was right in a way. You had put yourself in this position. You trusted someone who was only with you for one thing. You should’ve known how he really thought of you. You should have realized that this could all go badly.

Matt pulled you in for a hug and you thanked him before getting in your car. You watched him return to the bar before you let yourself cry.

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#rob benedict x reader #hey bartender #rob benedict rpf #louden swain rpf #rock god! rob #bartender!reader #au