#oh also i had nothing in common with the goths in music taste I'm still firmly entrenched with pop music

[arctic-hands]

I was lumped in with the goths during my school years*, and for sure I was horrifically depressed when I wasn't psychotically manic and had common interests like graveyards and depressing poetry and gory imagery and other morbid fascinations, but whenever I did hang out with the Goths (we weren't super super tight like BFFs or something but we got along when we hanged) I was a ridiculous contrast in fashion lol.

Standing in with a group of teenagers who for whatever quirk were all taller than me despite being around the same ages, who were wearing all black or the occasional blood red, in various states of the entirely casual-suitable for the opera fashion spectrum of fashion, often with multiple piercings and eyeliner at the very least,

was this barefaced and metal-less scrawny and smol being in a bright yellow graphic t with some stupid slogan of a meme that was outdated even by then, or a tie-dyed shirt with the Joe's Crabshack logo on it, and incredible baggy jeans that were held up by variously colored scarves because my body shape even while rail thin was awkward with regular belts and my pants would still slide down unless I tight laced a chiffon scarf as uncomfortably tight as I could around my waist, sludge gray Velcro shoes because my inconsistent growth spurts meant I had awkwardly sized feet and for whatever reason the only suitable shoes I could find in my size at the time were Velcro, occasionally a faux gold vaguely intricate Walmart bracelet around my upper arm because it made me feel Ancient Grecian, and the peace day resist ants was, because I was also in a M*A*S*H phase since I was completely fixated on the equally bipolar and similarly undiagnosed Hawkeye, I went to the army surplus store and bought an olive green boonie hat that might have come from the Korean war era but might have been from 'nam I don't remember and I was constantly wearing that everywhere.

Anyway there's no real point to this and I regret to inform you that I never took a photo when hanging out with the goths and it's not like smartphones were mainstream enough that any of us could afford one yet, but I'm just picturing this group hangout from the outside and how it must have looked lol

*(for all that meant in the high school era, cliques weren't really a thing by then and if you had friends you prolly had multiple groups of friends based on whatever specific common interest or just what class/lunch you were in, we were all impoverished as fuck so like. Elitism was never really a thing with some notable exceptions *cough*ableism*cough*)

#it's the boonie hat that makes me cringe the most. people prolly thought i supported the military and everything it stood for 😬 #everything else was harmless if a bit goofy looking in color theory #anyway on any given day since i turned thirty I'm flip flopping between going full goth finally or going uncaring gaudy again #I'm of the vague notion that my fashion was arguably scene if a very boyish scene #but i didn't know what scene was without the internet so i don't know if i really was a scene kid or not #it's called fashion sweaty look it up #mecore #also cliques weren't a thing in high school but goddamn were they in middle school and even elementary #it was me and the actual goth girl against the preps in those days #oh also i had nothing in common with the goths in music taste I'm still firmly entrenched with pop music #the edgiest artist i listened to was #avril lavigne #is rainbow grunge a thing because i feel like that should be a thing in my case #aesthetic