#now quickly passing through everything: i like the spin with vax and the raven queen. i like thaf she gave him a chance to help.

[lunarlover12]

Based on @miss-ingno‘s heartbreaking Critical Role fanfic A Deadly Legacy.

They were all back at Whitestone, but Vex couldn’t remember how they got there. Couldn’t recall how she got up two flights of stairs of the castle and managed to find her way into her room. The last thing she remembered was the remainder of Vox Machina finishing off Dr. Ripley with Percy dead on the ground in front of her. She recalled throwing Fenthris to the side and not so silently sobbing as she tried to Cure Wounds him even though they all knew that it was no use.

She glanced up at her brother and pleaded with him to pray to the Raven Queen. To do what he had done before for both her and Grog. But when he sat for a moment then shook his head, Vex could feel her heart break again. She quickly took her amulet and released Trinket before pressing it to Percy’s forehead. “No time passes in there. We can get him to Pike before his minute is up.” She said, mostly to herself. She couldn’t tell if anyone was listening but it didn’t matter. She was mostly trying to convince herself anyways.

With a glance in Vax’s direction, she saw him healing Trinket just enough to bring him back from unconsciousness and stared at Keyleth. “Tree walk us back.” She ordered. And maybe there was a bit of venom in her voice, but they needed to hurry. The other half-elf looked at the ground and bit her lip.

“I can’t right now. I’m completely tapped out. If we stop to take a rest, I can.” And the tears began to fall again uncontrollably. Vex’s breathing was coming too quickly and the world was beginning to spin.

Now she lay on her bed in the castle of Whitestone. Trinket lay on the bed behind her, pressing into her back to remind her that he was still there if she needed him. The amulet was in her hands on the other pillow and she was silently stroking it with her thumb. She could just make out the inside of it, thanks to the low light, the throne raised above on a dias and Percy’s dead body laying on the floor. She had run out of tears long ago and now was simply numb. She could hear hurried footsteps in the hall and wiped at her face before sitting up. Pike rushed in, breathing heavily, and face flushed.

“Start the ritual. I’ll let him out when you’re almost done.” Pike frowned at the hoarse voice but nodded her understanding. ‘Of course’, she responded and set to work.

It wasn’t much longer before Pike stopped in her movements and looked at Vex expectantly. “Ready?” She asked in that soft voice of hers. Vex’ahlia took a deep breath to steady herself before nodding. She aimed the amulet at the center of the prepared space and released the man. The necklace spilled out and Percy lay at their feet again as Pike continued her ritual.

They both pulled out everything they had in their attempt to bargain with Sarenrae. Gems and gold and pleads and absolute faith. The two of them waited in anticipation. Vex was watching for any sign of movement: the chest rising or falling, a twitch, anything.

Minutes passed. Then half an hour. Until Pike finally shifted to wipe the tears away from her face. “I’m so sorry, Vex.” She whispered but the other wasn’t listening. The motion had tore her out of her wishful thinking and another sob ripped itself from her throat. Vex felt her knees give out as she collapsed on the edge of the bed, averting her gaze to the wall and stayed silent until Pike sighed.

A hand rest itself on her shoulder as the gnome gave it a small massage. “I’ll be nearby if you need.. If you want to talk. Or anything.” Vex merely shoved her fist to her lips and squeezed her eyes shut. She waited for the sounds of footsteps to fade before letting out her cries of pain.

‘Destroy everything.’ Percy’s voice said in her head. Her eyes went to his dead body and let out a small whine. Slowly, she made her way over to where he lay and lifted her hand to search him. But she froze at the thought of touching him for the last time. Her hand hovered uncertainly above him as her eyes locked onto his face.

And with a surge of will, the hand dropped and started to feel through all of the various pockets of Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III of Whitestone. She wanted to throw up at the knowledge that she was just looting her fallen friend’s corpse but swallowed it down. She left all of the gold and such and took only the things that involved his guns.

She pulled away with nothing besides his actual guns, the black powder supply, a journal, and the bullets. She stroked the white hair and chewed on her bottom lip before lowering her head to plant a soft kiss on his forehead. As she was pulling away, her hands trailed to those ridiculous glasses of his and pulled them off as well. The kiss was then replaced with the amulet once more and the body was sucked into the gem.

She never meant to look through his things. But when the journal fell off the desk and opened to a random page, it was hard not to. She flipped it to the very beginning and sifted through the various sketches and designs that were impossible to comprehend. Then came pictures of their makeshift family. There was Scanlan and Grog drinking and laughing. And then Pike in all of her divine cheer. The twins. And Keyleth smiling away.

Two consecutive pictures of Vex made her furrow her brows. A couple more sketches of the feywild and then there were more of her. The details were perfect and she felt the tears trail down her face to drip onto the pages of the journal.

A knock on the door came before Vax poked his head in. “Are you doing okay?” He asked, coming closer to sit beside his twin.

She let out a sniffle and cleared her throat. “I loved him.” She admitted for the first time, the words feeling strange on her tongue. Vax got eerily quiet and Vex thought he might have walked away before he bumped their shoulders together.

“I know. And he loved you too.” They were both whispering at this point for some reason but Vex could still hear the crack in his voice as Vax tried to hold back tears. Vex could feel her throat start to close up while her eyes burned with the tears again. She shook her head and gave out an almost hysteric laugh. An arm wrapped around her shoulders and she could feel her brother at her side as she was pulled into him.

“Bullshit.” She denied. She didn’t want to hear that. Didn’t want to think about what could have been if they had just told each other. If she had gathered up her courage to say she liked him, maybe he would have returned it. They could be just as sickening as her brother and Keyleth.

If only they had said something.

“Look at these, Vex’ahlia. And then look me in the eyes and tell me that he didn’t love you.” Vax demanded, pointing at the journal and the sketches of her within. Her shoulders shook as she buried her face in his shoulder.

“I’m so stupid.” She cried out, clutching the fabric of his cloak as she cried. “I should have told him. I should have told him as soon as I realized.” A hand started petting her hair in a soothing motion and it only made her weep harder.

“I know! I know how dangerous th-this is! We all know we could die any day. And I was still too scared to tell him!”

“It’s okay. I’m sure he knew.” Vax tried -and failed- to calm his sister.

“It’s not fair.” Vex hissed.

#luna writes #critical role #vex'ahlia #percy de rolo #vox machina #spoilers for ep 68 #per'ahlia #missy is a terrible influence #and told me to write this #so everyone can blame her #for the mess that this is #and the mess that i now am #god i am sobbing