#no self-sabotage only uplift of others (because he's got the strength)

[lighthouseborn]

Common Misconceptions: A Post

Henry is an adrenaline junkie.

  Nah. He is a risk-taker, but not a risk-seeker. He will take risks to get to a desirable end result but he does not seek out ways to put himself at risk for the sake of the thrill. He does like adventure, but adventure doesn't have to mean life-at-risk. If anything that's an unfortunate side effect. Also worth noting that Henry (though often underestimated) is capable, experienced, and confident in his knowledge and abilities: there are things he does which other people consider dangerous that are, by virtue of his experience, not actually a significant risk to his person. Many of the places he occupies have some level of risk inherent to them that he is fully equipped to navigate. Henry's cautious is the common man's uninhibited, in these places. Because of his knowledge & experience, his scale is different. Sometimes he misjudges! but it's not his ambition to make things a close call. In fact, the really close ones shake him up in a bad way.

Henry is a Martyr/has a Savior Complex.

  False!! In his words: "he'll never stop" fighting for his loved ones. Sometimes this means taking hits, or putting himself between them and something dangerous, or stepping into a bad situation on their behalf, but it's never his intention to be cut down or any such thing. He, emphatically, wants to live, he just really doesn't want to do it alone, and can't stomach the idea of standing idle when people he loves face threat or insult. A way to shorthand remember this is something like "he is not him-last, he is his-people-first." Another important way to distinguish this from martyr-styled characters is he will not (typically) tell people to leave without him. He may encourage them to go first, but it is always with the intent to follow them out. "Go first" can be an inch in front of him, hands locked, just go first. Additionally, his family have just as much right to come back and fight for him — he won't decline help or a rescue, and he really doesn't want to be left behind. He wants everyone, himself included, to walk away.

Henry has a Hero Complex.

  Not even a little bit. He absolutely does not have to be the one to save the day. Anyone else is just as welcome to do what they see fit, in this regard. And they can make as much or as little fuss about it as they want. As long as he does what he can for the people he loves, it does not matter to him one bit where the 'credit' or the praise or whatever else goes. If they are well, he is well. Honestly, if his people aren't in danger, it's a coin toss whether or not he'll involve himself at all (barring verses where it's his literal job to get involved, obviously.) In every case, it has nothing to do with external perception or accolade or praise, it's entirely because he cannot self-reconcile inaction when it comes to defending his loved ones (/people he is responsible for.) He's not answering to a perception, he's answering to his own conscience. Not "I have to save everyone in the world" savior or "I have get all the glory" hero, but to and with himself "If I can do something to help, why wouldn't I?". There are answers to this question, sometimes. Mostly, if the response to "why wouldn't I?" is "because it will endanger/abandon someone I love", then he won't act. He might not be happy about it, or even be very miserable about it, but that's the main line.

Henry is a perfectionist. (thanks uquiz)

  Nope. Henry is an idealist, and to a lesser degree an optimist, or like... an optimism-leaning realist. He wants problems to be solvable, though he knows they aren't always so cut and dry, and he has an imagined version of the world that he believes is possible to achieve. He works very hard to get to that version! but it's not a fixed state and things don't have to fall into some strict order to achieve it. There is no perfect standard and no uniform measure, no exact thing-to-do, there is just Possibility, and the idea he can get to it. Things can be so good, if you work for it. If you let them. Nothing has to be perfect, but if something could be better, why not try?

#i was digging on my old blog for reasons (dwbi) and i found this and i went YEAH so i touched it up n now its here #good post past-me #there's a light that never goes out ( hc. ) #note: i can see! how people arrive at these though!! i think the first time i posted this a couple people got rubbed the wrong way #but like i fully get how people land on these it makes sense it's just that nudge of nuance that argues it #i think the martyr/savior complex one is the one i bump into the most but i simply do not think it's like that #no self-sabotage only uplift of others (because he's got the strength)

[sassytspoemsnraps]

I’m literally feeling like I’m living in a dream😇😇😇

⭐️⭐️⭐️My life is like a fairly tale to say the least,

but then as bad as they were at one point I was

“Dancing with the devil” in 🏜 Death Valley🌙🌙🌙

About to tackle my deamons one by one. Head on..

Let that resignate it was a flight situation but I had to

fight I had the strength and courage to look at every

situation and subsequently subjectivity decide. This

was all mere negative thoughts or self conscious

insecurities coming to the surface. The little critics of

your own self. It’s like a sick and twisted game and

your the Joker your playing urself honey. And your

Depriving yourself of what you truly deserve and

what’s out there waiting for you that you were

craving and literally everything that you could ever

asked and hoped for was your reality like your reality

Was about to get better than the dream and you’re

living in a fairytale, Queen of the Underground.

Remind yourself your the one that you very so

created and things were about to get real and I just

had to dig myself out of this after I conquered all my

insecurities and got my Ass back home to heal and

recover from this madness nightmare that it so

quickly turned upside down because you were going

against the timing and the plan that you needed to

go. You wanted to play some more and knowing that

Nothing lasts forever and all good things must come

to an end inevitably but I have not a single regret

because I had to life through each experience to get

me to where I am right now and heal and recover

because that was never for you and part of that being

the reason why you would even fight for something

so much that was it supposed to end up that way did

you guys lived it up and had a good time that you

also add times that we’re not so good but I also

needed those times to realize what I was doing

wrong and never in looking at myself from another 

Perspective and that’s the hard thing to do cause I

never want to believe I’m in the wrong but that

taught me what I needed to learn.. Whether or not he

was telling me the truth or answer my questions it

Was irrelevant because I was still in the wrong

regardless it was a chapter on your journey and those

Extacy eventually come crashing down like a tidal

wave of nightmares and just how quickly things fall

apart when you fight against energy and destiny. I

definitely learned a lot about myself and

relationships and my judgments as well and I do

appreciate all of the great times and I’ll forever have a

special place in my heart for end cure for every

chapter because they helped me realize I was

Allowing to go on. Once I went back home and there

I would rediscover who I was and once I came home

it all just started to Come back together because

there was a comfort in solidarity and self reflection.

And clarity once I refreshed myself what I deserve to

know the whole truth to my purpose and Devine gift

of timeless energy and Realness. I have no regrets

and each lesson I had to learn or relearn again or else

It would continue to come back up and until I was

able to pass the test that was the only way out of it it

was due or die now is the time and could never get

an opportunity again so I knew what I had to do.

and now it s starting to make sense more

Having all these thoughts and questions and not having anyone to turn to going though Some of the heartache on my own sucks but at the same time some of the stuff I needed to do on my own as well as the reflecting and solidarity and just healing and cleanse just a whole refresher because I wasn’t gonna go back to any of that nonsense I was ready to Start my future ends I have a new way of thinking and someone that will complete me more than I could ever even imagine the sweetes and most perfect person for me literally my soulmate my other half see if you want the fairytale then you decide that its really about what you truly want and satisfying to your needs and desires. He gets me in every single way that I never had and silently crave. The rough and hair pulling, biting and just devouring that moment when thier souls finally reconnect being as they were together maybe in another lifetime. Today was the day her dreams came true and she was resdy to start living her life again and finally everything made sense the journey and each lesson and person and situation everything needed to happen to get me here to this very moment and now. I’ll get my fairy tale ending and Man of my Dreams whom will be with me until the end of time until death do us part. True Uplifting Vibrating Magical and Devine ❤️ soul blowong Love and they lived happily ever & hard Times pass we’ll be okay. Together we’ll be alright! Ain’t that the truth. We can conquer the world or destroy it lmao no jk we’re gonna make some babies and make up for the time we lost.

This helped me because she said that no onunderstands because no one walks in your shoes 👠 I never fully understood it at the time but always was in the back of my mind. Well she’s right I just had to allow myself to raise my vibration to the truth and what I deserve As opposed to what I would allow. Consequently at one time things were great but they just slowly got worse it was like a roller coaster but towards the end I was wrestling my demons bringing his out if you’re in the fire feeling it fueling it and all the situations I would create in my head that weren’t even true I would start to believe and then start arguing with me on thoughts I’m not getting paranoid just not knowing what to believe because the truth could be lies and then we Mile I’m the one sabotaging the truth or questioning it because my own insecurities but I hope that there’s no hard feelings just appreciation and gratitude for what happened and how each event pan down and the opportunities that I had to revisit these was once in a lifetime and knowing what I know now it was all worth it it was scary and uncertain and really brave but I was going to risk my for my people and find the truth and fight for what’s right fully deserved and for my sanity in this wicked world where everything‘s not so cookie cut I’m not any safer type of whistle blower but let me tell you the information is out there if you look in the right places and ask the right people you will find it Because you will see it and you won’t even have to question it because you will know once you have that click everything starts to get a lot more real you’re gonna walk through the valley of the shadow of death look at your demons they’re going to challenge you they’re gonna try to drag you down you can’t let that happen that was an old part of you or a part of you that died and no longer exists only in your mind the character you created to play that part in this conundrum of your life but sometimes things get really still and you’re sitting around it’s almost a year two years three years and you need to get out you need to get out of that funk and then you get a taste for life again and you just start to go with it and then it just starts to take you over and you just get so caught up in this fantasy life that’s not real but it’s fun to play and it’s fun to Tesla miss ends test limits and just see where certain nights can take you and just be open minded and in the moment because the thing about that is you only have this moment and that’s the only mom you have and it’s never going to come around again so you have to live embrace it and live it to the fullest it’s one like I was always worried about the past or the future and that gives you just have to be present and except who you truly are and you know the world what what can you throw at me or how can I tackle this today I’m not gonna worry about it because I’m coming to God and when it comes on about it will inevitably be consistent with what you serve so you need to have more respect for yourself and not allow any type of disrespectful remarks or behaviors because you deserve more than that and you don’t know why you let that go on because you were in a dark place and you didn’t know any other way at that point in time and it’s really hard to dig yourself out of it because one after the next excuse after excuse little by little you see the storm sort of brewing and then that’s when lake you know that blender should go on and you should say I am just means I need to rest and recharge or whatever so everyone’s story is different everyone has their faces or favorite things comforts just be around good people don’t let anyone kill your vibe and don’t be afraid to ask questions for skip for what you believe in because you could be leading the way for so many other people that don’t have that choice or they can’t stand up for themselves for that just don’t know how to or have the strength to know you never know and hey if I truly believe something with my whole heart the Universe will conspire to make it happen.🌙

[maciaslucymua-blog1]

How to Know if You Can Trust Someone in a New Relationship

New Post has been published on http://www.healthgoesfemale.com/how-to-know-if-you-can-trust-someone-in-a-new-relationship/

How to Know if You Can Trust Someone in a New Relationship

A new relationship is both scary and exciting, risky and rewarding! It’s even better when you trust your new partner. These tips on how to know if you can trust a new boyfriend are inspired by a reader who says… “I’m a 32 year old woman, I’ve been in several relationships, and even though some were great they all had one big thing in common: I never trusted my new boyfriends completely,” says Amelia on 8 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship. “I’ve always gone through their text messages, phone logs, Facebook chats, and emails, looking for proof that my boyfriend was lying to me. Most of the time I didn’t even have a reason not to trust him, especially if it was a new relationship, but it just felt like a compulsion. Logically I know I’m being an idiot, but I get this feeling of dread that washes over me, and I can’t calm down until I’ve looked through my boyfriend’s stuff for reassurance. I love my new boyfriend, even though we’ve only been together for 9 months. He’s never given me any reason not to trust him, but I just have this obstacle. I just have this sick feeling in my stomach. How do I learn how to trust in a new relationship?” The truth is, you can’t know for sure if you can trust a new boyfriend in a new relationship. There are no guarantees – but there are lots of indications of whether he’s a trustworthy fella. And, there are many different factors that are involved in learning how to trust a new boyfriend.

For example: How long have you known him? How did you meet your new boyfriend? In what contexts have you known him? (eg, at work, at school, at church, in volunteer settings?) Do any of your friends or family know your new boyfriend, or have experience with him in different situations? What are your own issues with trusting in new relationships? How have you been betrayed or hurt by boyfriends or husband in the past? Those factors can help you determine whether or not you can trust someone in a new relationship. In this article, I’ll help you find the most stable and secure foundation of trust. This will pave the way to a healthy, joyful, peaceful life that isn’t determined by whether or not you can trust your new boyfriend. Learning How to Trust in New Relationships Listen carefully, for you know more than you think. Trust yourself, for you are smarter than you believe. And look upwards, for there is a source of wisdom, love, peace, and joy that will help you through anything. Dig up the roots of your distrust If you feel the same way as my reader – you feel a compulsion to check up on your new boyfriend because you can’t trust him – then ask yourself why. How to Know if You Can Trust Someone in a New Relationship There’s a reason – or several reasons – you’re struggling to learn how to trust someone. Maybe your parents had an unhealthy marriage or unstable relationship. Maybe your family has a history of divorce, or cheating. Maybe you yourself are not a trustworthy person. Maybe you don’t trust yourself not to sabotage this relationship because you’re scared of intimacy, rejection, or abandonment. Learning why it’s so difficult for you to trust a new boyfriend help you build a strong foundation for this relationship. The more you learn about yourself – the more self-knowledge and insight you have about your own psychology and behavior – the healthier your relationship will be. Don’t just focus on learning how to trust someone in a new relationship. Take time to learn more about yourself, about why you find it so difficult to lean into a trusting relationship with a new boyfriend. Trust that still small voice If the reason you don’t know how to trust isn’t because of your past experiences or family history, it could very well be that your new boyfriend is simply not someone you can trust. You may be picking up on little clues or red flags that are telling you that he – or this relationship – isn’t trustworthy. Listen to your intuition. Pay attention to that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach or in your gut when something isn’t quite right. If your boyfriend says or does something that doesn’t sit well, follow up on it. Do not ignore that still small voice inside of you, for it is wise! That still small voice loves you and is acting in your best interests, so pay attention. Be as smart as a serpent and wise as a dove Pay attention to what your new boyfriend says and does. How often does he follow through on his promises? How does he treat other people? Does he trust his friends and family? Do they trust him? You don’t have to watch a new relationship or boyfriend with suspicion or distrust…just pay attention to who he is and how he acts. The foundation of a trusting relationship is knowing you can rely on your new boyfriend to be there for you. If he shows up when he says he’s going to, follow through on his promises, and has trusting relationships with his (and your) friends and family members, then you are in a better position to trust him. Another thing to consider is how much your new boyfriend trusts you and others. Does he trust anyone in his life? Learning how to guard your heart in a relationship is one of the best tips for trusting someone new. Follow up with questions when you feel a lack of trust Imagine that your new boyfriend says something that makes you feel like you can’t trust him. Maybe he told you he was going to be at work until 8 PM, but later you find out that he actually got off work at 3 PM. Talk to him about this. Ask him how he spent his time. If his friends or family say something that contradicts what he’s told you in the past, talk to him about it. Don’t be afraid to ask your boyfriend questions. This is how to build trust in a new relationship – you talk about things that aren’t just fun and easy and romantic and sexy, but things that are confusing and difficult. Pay attention if your new boyfriend gets angry, uncomfortable, or frustrated when you ask him questions about his life. If you can’t trust him to respond with kindness and respect the questions you ask, then how can you trust him with your heart and body and life? If you can’t trust a new boyfriend in the little things, then you won’t be able to trust him with the bigger things. Go slow, for trust needs time to grow in a new relationship There is no need to pressure yourself and decide if you can trust this new relationship today. If your boyfriend is pushing you to make a big decision that involves him, then it’s time to take your hands off the wheel and let the relationship coast for a little while.

Here’s an example: your new boyfriend – who you’ve known for, say, three months – wants you to move in with him. You don’t feel right about this decision. In fact, you feel like it could actually be a bad idea because you don’t know him as well as you think you should. This may not even be a question of learning how to trust someone in a new relationship…it’s simply a question of moving too fast. How to Know if You Can Trust a New Boyfriend You do not need to make any big decisions in your relationship today, do you? Likely not. Give yourself the time and space you need. If your boyfriend is moving too fast, then trust your instincts and back away from him. Remember that trust needs time and space and room to grow. Give it the time it needs to grow. Maybe you can trust your new boyfriend, and maybe you can’t. If your intuition or that still small voice isn’t telling you one way or another if your boyfriend is trustworthy, then give him time to show who he really is. Don’t rush into any big decisions too soon, especially if you’re not sure if you can trust in this new relationship. Trust that you will be taken care of no matter what happens If you have a strong and healthy relationship with God, then you do not have to fear or worry about how this new relationship will unfold. If you are connected to His love, peace, grace, and freedom then you will have the energy and strength to deal with whatever comes your way! If you make God the center of your life – and if you enjoy this new relationship for what it is, for however long it lasts – then it won’t hurt as much if you do discover that you couldn’t trust your boyfriend. My best advice for learning how to trust someone in a new relationship is to put your trust in God first. Trust Him to take care of you, guide you, speak to you, and show you what you need to know about this relationship. Trust God that no matter what happens, He will walk you through it. This doesn’t mean you will be safe from a breakup or pain or relationship drama! But it does mean you will be supported, loved, comforted, and uplifted no matter what happens. How do you feel after reading these tips on how to know if you can trust someone in a new relationship? Share your thoughts below! While I can’t offer advice, I do read every comment. I encourage you to respond to other readers’ comments if you feel led, and to share your experience. Writing often brings clarity and insight, and can help you process your feelings. Help Learning How to Trust in New Relationships In Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy, psychotherapist David Richo says we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them). He describes why we fear trusting people, how to develop greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others, and how to know if someone new is trustworthy. He also discusses naïve trust versus healthy, adult trust – and what to do when trust is broken. Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear. In Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You And Avoid Those That Aren’t, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend help you to recognize 20 traits of untrustworthy people in relationships. You’ll learn what makes some boyfriends safe to trust, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You’ll also learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your security in relationships. “Too many of us have invested ourselves into relationships that left us deeply wounded,” write Cloud and Townsend. “We’ve been abandoned or taken advantage of, and left with little to show for what we’ve given. We’ve lost our sense of security and personal value in the process. And what’s worse, we tend to either repeat the same mistakes of judgment over and over…or we else lock the doors of our hearts entirely and throw away the key.” In Safe People, you’ll learn why you keep choosing the wrong men to trust, and how to change. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Dear Reader, May you trust God’s still, small voice to show you the way. May you trust that God your Father loves you and wants the best for you, and will guide you away from unhealthy relationships if you listen to Him. May you learn what you need to know about how to trust someone in a new relationship, and may your love be founded on the solid rock of God’s grace, peace, and joy. Blessings, Laurie

xo

[countrybunkingbabes-blog]

Phnom Penh Day 1

We finally recovered from our drinking bender and bizarre sleeping pattern and were filled with energy when we arrived early in Phnom Penh at 6 am (actually maybe our sleeping pattern was still fucked...) anyways as we hopped off the bus a guy was like u staying in Phnom Penh?! And I replied yes really enthusiastically coz I was so excited and then realised he'd asked because he was a tuk tuk man and since I didn't know how to deal with the situation he waited outside the 24 hr cafe we went into and kept looking in the window to make sure we were still there. He gave up after like an hour and a half and we made our way to our accommodation, dropped our bags, admired our 3 euro private room and set out to the Tuol Sleng genocide museum. This museum had been known as the S21 prison under the Khmer Rouge. It simple terms, this school-turned-prison now memorialises the horror and torture which the Angkar (or Khmer Rouge) inflicted upon anyone who was suspected of questioning their rule. The communist group glorified hard labour and traditional times and condemned modern urban dwelling, formal education and religious belief. Their rule lasted a mere 4 years (1975-79), but, in spite of this, accumulated a death toll of ~3 million from starvation, disease or murder. The images within the prison walls today were gruesome and surreal; it was really hard to understand how this was considered acceptable. In other ways, the experience showed how easy it could be: combine the potency of a utopian ideology, the witnessing of graphic violence, and the ever present fear of disobedience and retaliation and you see how self-preservation shines through. What the guards inflicted or witnessed was brutal. The image that remains with me is a painting done by a former prisoner where a naked woman is tied down and bleeding, and centipedes are being placed on her sores and genitals. One guard admitted that he took the prohibition of sexual relations and his personal sexual frustration out on female prisoners violently. Another image shows the remains of a persons face, barely distinguishable, as his face is caved in and black with blood. Rows and rows and walls and walls of mugshots documented the extent to which Cambodian people suffered in these prisons. There are mugshots of mothers holding babies who have been incarcerated by association and images of women who have their children in their cells after being raped by prison officers. Even though class was central to the Angkar's beliefs, they exploited the young, uneducated working class, recruiting them and repeating slogans incessantly to burn their values into the minds of as many impressionable people as possible. To me this felt so hypocritical. Especially as Pol Pot, the figurehead, studied in a French University and discovered communism amidst his elite path and then felt entitled to deprive the worth of knowledge and education to everyone else. Though communism may have beauty at its heart, a utopian ideology means nothing when violence is its tool. Having studied bits of victimology and terrorism and political violence, some moments in the museum really resonated with me. Ideas surrounding justifications for violence, revenge or reconciliation, human dignity, blame, national trauma, intergenerational victimisation, responsibility and who are the real victims of this period were insightful and soothing; photos of a former head of the prison and a former prisoner laughing together inspired so much shock and admiration from me. The aim of this place was not to sensationalise or capitalise, but to teach and reflect. At the end of the museum an old man called out to me and saoirse and we realised he was one of the surviving prisoners of the time!! I couldn't speak I just felt so shy and embarrassed and amazed and inadequate thinking of everything he had been through and how kind his eyes remained. He was selling his story but i wanted to go see a free talk they had there that was starting so I said I'd go back after. The woman who spoke had not been imprisoned but her life had been turned upside down by the Khmer Rouge when they forced mass evacuations from big cities and caused many deaths in that process of harsh, rapid migration and homelessness. She spoke of the hard work she had been subjected to with only 2 spoons of rice to eat a day. She had been separated from her mother and then reunited at age 7. Her instinct was to run and hug her mum but her mum pushed her away in an effort to keep her safe through that distance. She went on to tell her daughter different lessons in how to care for herself and survive. (I burst out crying at this point - I'm a sucker for anything that makes me imagine life without the strong guiding influence of my mum). She was only 11 when she was expected to dig a hole one metre deep and wide in a day, and where failure to meet the assigned targets meant only one spoon of rice. You had to avoid crying in those days because it would be interpreted as dissatisfaction with the regime and you would be punished for it. The audio tour included a number of survivors stories and even excerpts from the trial against a key officer running the S21. Victim impact statements from court were also available to listen to, and so so moving. A very instinctual drive for revenge was articulated by one, who wanted to make his mum proud, but she told him that was not what she wished for. She told him she just wanted him to be happy, and he realised this violent urge only perpetuated his feelings of anger and grief. Many spoke of the healing power within religion, advocacy and legal justice and recognition. Ending on this hopeful note was uplifting, and did make me admire the resilience and strength of humankind. The woman who spoke has her own children and grandchildren now and her voice radiated the love she felt for them. It's amazing how people have managed to thrive and love and connect after such violence and bitterness. That visit has inspired me to share this Cambodian history with as many people as possible, through advocacy, college assignments and general conversation as it's overarching message was stressing the significance of history as preventing future crimes against humanity from occurring and the validation of what happened as barbaric, unjust and undeserved. It made me a little angry to see how little we do know about others history and Cambodia's national trauma as our education orbits ourselves and our white, western counterparts despite the gravity of suffering endured in all other parts of the world. This feeling has resurfaced a number of times already (we have since visited the killing fields and war remnants museum). As I took notes on everything we spent about 4-5 hours there and ate into our afternoon where we had meant to see the palace. Instead we got lunch from an authentic chay restaurant and paid about 1.50 for some beautiful noodle soup. We wandered around the area by the river and tried again to get some happy pizza. It worked this time. We shared one between us and it could have been MD it was so strong. We planned on going to this drag show in a gay bar and having just the one beer and a mellow high as our last bender was still fresh in our minds but, once again, our plan to be sensible was sabotaged. My heart felt like it was on fire and I tried to take my socks and shoes off in the busy bar. I was gaping at the performers with my jaw practically on the floor and when we tried dancing I felt like we were moving so slowly and saoirse thought we were dancing super fast. The performance was unlike any other drag we'd seen as the performers dressed convincingly feminine, not in the usual exaggerated way, and it was so aggressively sexual. They humped the stage and deep throated cucumbers and mauled onto members of the audience. Shortly after the end of the performance we left slightly scared and went for freezing showers to recover. After that we just let ourselves pass out.