#my husbans said he doesnt feel loved by me anymore and I've been trying so hard to manage household baby and everything else but its not

[xxlelaxx]

Anxiety makes enjoying good things so hard

#ignore me #my life has been too good lately and I'm starring to go insane from everything working #i hate myself so much #I've been trying ao be more social and be a good mom and be someone that my daughter can look up to and my husband can love #but it always ends up with me hating myself so fucking much #I've been eating too many sweets which already is setting a bad example qhen it comes to a healthy diet and my media consumption has been #worse lately and my anxiety is now making me unabke to sleep and I've stopped going on daily walks cause the pain is back #it was so nice not having it around for a while and it is makibg everything so much harder #the sleep makes me more irritable and i feel like all i do is fail my baby #my husbans said he doesnt feel loved by me anymore and I've been trying so hard to manage household baby and everything else but its not #enough i always feel like I'm never enough #I've been a horrible friend like always so i guess that is a constant thing in my life #as if that isnt the worst when my mental health gets worse i start getting flashbacks to remind me of everything that went wrong with me #and that just fuels my anxiety around my daughter living through everything i did as a child and i just cant do this #i just wish i could sleeo again #i think all of this is sleep deprivation but i don't know how to do everything without losing sleep or something #i just wanna rest and sleep for more then four hours without veing woken up #god what i would give for eight hours of continuous sleep #but my husbands shifts are so shit that i cant do that to him... also now that I'm at home he's the only one working and I'm terrified of #loosing him so i dont want him to be at work without sleeping well cause it could actually kill him #worst of all I'm just too stupid to ask for help or bother anyone with my stupid problems #and every time I'm away from her she just screams and i just can't take her screams anyo #anymore #i just want to pee and ahit and eat in peace