#my entire life has hinged on my performance for authority figures sorry i didn't choose this trauma

[the-everqueen]

ngh. just sent the diss to my committee.

#welcome to academia #this feels. bad. #both because it signals that a significant portion of my life is about to be over #and because it opens me up to criticism/feedback at a point where i feel #very tender about that...given the many many job rejections and possibility of impending unemployment #also the diss isn't everything i wanted it to be (it never was going to be) #and i feel. disappointed and unworthy and tired. #if they totally hate it/dismiss it...sorry but i will have to do something Drastic #my entire life has hinged on my performance for authority figures sorry i didn't choose this trauma #also lmao the dates i proposed for the defense will leave me with a week to do final edits #before uploading to the online server #so i'm sure i'll be normal about that if we get that far