#musical being dead doesn't mean theres not a fandom here!

[lassieposting]

ok i know that ask thing was all kinda cute stuff but would u do skul/nefarian? U made me ship it but theres no stuff for it rly

Ajfjajdkakdja see this is what i don't get about this fandom, it obsesses over the most boring, conflict-deficient vanilla-ass ships and im like???

Skulpine has so much potential. With og!serpine, it's a deeply messed up, traumatic, probably dubcon-at-best darkfic ship. With alt!serpine, it's an enemies to lovers salty fuckbuddies idiot comedy. There are so many routes this ship could go and?????? Everybody be all over the pure unproblematic shit like idk ghanith instead i dont get it anyway here u go

who hogs the duvet

Nef doesn't just hog the duvet, he hogs the bed. He likes to starfish. This isn't a big deal, though - they don't tend to sleep together anyway. They're both light sleepers - Serpine wasn't always, but after a couple decades of being surrounded by resistance fighters who wanted him dead, he doesn't settle easily - and their sleep habits aren't really compatible; Skug has nightmares, and if Nef stretches out and boofs him in the face with an outflung arm in his sleep, there's a solid chance of one of them getting hurt in the ensuing half-awake panic-struggle. When they sleep around each other, it's usually in the car (Nef dozing off on a boring stakeout) or on the couch (Skug dozing off mid-Netflix).

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

Nef, but it's less to ask about Skug's day and more to prompt him for attention. Because let's face it, he's lonely. He spent most of his life with allies who would sell him out in a heartbeat if it benefited them, repeatedly sought out shallow, meaningless connections during his time in the Resistance, reached out to Team Good Guy while he was in hiding in Roarhaven, and then kept trying to join in the banter on the Leibniz mission even though they kept telling him to shut it. That's not the behaviour of someone who's perfectly happy as a lone wolf.

But he's not good with people. He's charming and funny and can wind an unsuspecting target around his little finger, but he doesn't have much experience at actually making friends. He's used to being nice only when it benefits him or he's manipulating someone. So when he returns to Roarhaven, he has three people in his social circle - Skug, Val and Tanith.

So when he's bored and lonely, he'll find an excuse to text Skug. Usually it's "What's this?" or "How does this work?" accompanied by a photo of something he didn't have in Leibniz and could very easily google but won't - because what he really means is I want you to pay attention to me.

who gets up first in the morning

Skug by like, a million miles. Serpine is 100% a night owl; given the choice, he won't put in an appearance before noon. He's one of those people who Needs his beauty sleep. But Skug can get in from a stakeout at 3am and still be up with the sun.

who gets jealous easiest

Nef 100% insecurity is like. His thing. It's a possessive sort of jealousy, though. It's how dare someone else take your attention away from me, rather than oh god what if he leaves me. As far as he's concerned Skug is His and he hates not being the top priority.

At this point in his life, though, he's learned to pick his battles. He used to get painfully jealous over Mevolent too, and Mevolent shut that shit down hard, so he's wary of getting humiliated again - probably a good thing, as Skug has very limited patience for possessiveness from him.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

Serpine has A Lot to catch up on once he settles im Roarhaven, but he goes through a month long 90s phase that Skug will be ribbing him about for the next century.

who collects something unusual

Before he had to flee Dublin-Within-The-Wall, Nef collected souvenirs from his victims. A bone, a lock of hair, a treasured possession taken from them during the pre-torture Shameful Strip. He had to leave all his things behind when he escaped, though.

who is the most tidy and organised

Skug, by a lot. Nef is...more of an "organised chaos" person. Skug finds this Upsetting.

who gets most excited about the holidays

Serpine, largely because this dimension has a bunch of different holidays he's never experienced before, or hasn't been able to celebrate for a really long time. His religion doesn't permit holidays dedicated to false gods, so he hasn't had a Christmas or a Halloween since he converted as a teenager, but...he's in a new dimension, and what the gods don't know won't hurt them. He wants to try this "Trickle Treating". Just the once. Mevolent was forgiven for far worse sins, after all. Like Vile.

If Skug isn't in the mood to celebrate, that has precisely 0 effect on Nef's plans. He'll just go out with Tanith.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

Serpine. A huge part of his deep personal loathing for Skug during the War was that Skug outmatched and humiliated him every time they fought, and finally besting him was Nef's proudest victory. Even now that he's technically on team good guy, he still feels like he needs to prove that he's as good as or better than Skug. Thing is, Skug isn't competing, so really the only person Nef is stressing out with this crusade is himself.

who starts the most arguments

Nef. He likes to push things like buttons and boundaries, and he gets a kick out of watching someone snap. Unfortunately he also gets off on violence and he thinks Skug is sexiest when he's angry. He's very into dangerous partners who could and might try to kill him, so poking the bear is par for the course in his relationships. He's...not an emotionally healthy individual.

who suggests that they buy a pet

Valkyrie is the pet

what couple traditions they have

Furiously denying they're a couple.

what tv shows they watch together

They have totally different TV tastes. Nef likes to watch Absolute Garbage - usually reality TV infested with z-listers or nobodies making total morons of themselves in a desperate grab for cash and attention. He insists he enjoys the likes of I'm A Celebrity and The Real Housewives because the opportunities to laugh at and rag on mortals are endless, and that's partly true, but also he's just a slut for drama. And since he can't create drama anymore the way he used to in Mevolent's court, the next best thing is breaking out the popcorn and watching someone else start drama.

Skug isn't really a TV person, but he likes his cop dramas and true crime documentaries.

Nef will happily sit and watch Skug's TV picks, because there's usually either explicit sex or gruesome murder, both if he's lucky. Skug will go and do something else when Nef is binging garbage, because "I can feel the brain cells I don't have dying."

how they spend time together as a couple

Bickering. Fucking. Being salty. Bickering, fucking and being salty simultaneously. Arguing over the TV remote or the car radio. Snarking at each other for like seven solid hours on a stakeout.

who made the first move

Serpine. He finally lays a smooch on Skug at a New Year's Eve celebration (where Nef is celebrating. Skug is just there to ask the bartender some questions, because that giant stick up his arse doesn't even shift for the holidays).

Skug...isn't really sure how to react to this? So he just sort of. Arrests him for assaulting a Sanctuary official and sticks him in the holding cell for a timeout.

who is the best cook

Skug knows how to make sandwiches, Nef knows how to make pasta, they have this "functional adult" thing nailed.

#skulduggery pleasant #skulpine #sp headcanons #[blows kiss into the tag] for the skulpine anon 😘 #theyre toxic and terrible for each other but theyre also the same brand of dumbass and i love it

[ask-sb]

My mother's torture continues! Today I was unfortunate enough to have to be at home, my moms fucking sick again so that means she acts out of character (but at this point it happens so much it pretty much is her) which means she fucks me over all day. Sometimes she says stuff like "at least I don't beat you" and acts like mental/emotional abuse doesn't exist. She likes to make me watch things with her when shes like this, and you must be thinking "wow that isnt that bad" well the shows/music/movies aren't that bad but what she does during it is. She talks through it, argues with me, makes me watch more even though she agreed to let me go back to my room, and quizzes me on it. Today she fucking hit and scratched me too, looked at my old ass scars and said 'arE yOu cUtting??' No mom! I stopped 2 years ago you bitch. I wish I were dead. Do you know how it feels to be insulted by someone who's supposed to care for you? I get called the devil and mean for wanting time to myself or just not wanting to watch another episode for a fucking tv show. One time Vi told me that I have no right to be mad at the world because she has it worse because shes trans, and I tried to tell her that it just makes me madder cause she has things bad! And my life sucks about just as much! Its just less public. I'm tired of being here. I miss dad. Is there even an afterlife? Sometimes I wish I could live in a fictional world. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in a fictional world, and maybe so. Maybe I'm the bad guy that the hero will have to kill to save their school from blowing up. Just kidding, I'm not planning on blowing up the school, I'm planning on something else. But the thought of doing it makes me sick at the same time. Theres this movie called Sinister that I watched for the first time a few years ago. Spoilers but at the end a little girl kills her family. It made me think of me doing that which made me very uncomfortable and desperate. I feel like I'm doomed to do this. Every fucking day I think about slitting my moms throat. I have a gun, y'know. I stole it. Maybe I'll make a name for myself. But all past murders have really weird fandoms. I guess that's my biggest fear? I fear people will ignore what I'm trying to say and they'll say its because of the fiction I like. People on tumblr will make a fandom about me, just like the filthy Columbine shooters. You might think I want this cause I want to be like them, but no. I fucking hate them. At least one of them was a homophobic nazi. Those people are my targets. Man, I sound like I'm actudlly going to do this. That makes me feel sick. I hate guns, i hate people, and i hate myself. I feel like Violet might leave me. I think that'll break me. Even though her views are also fucked i still love her. She and Lake are the only people who've come close to accepting things the way I have. Funny how theres three of us, just like in SHOOTER. I suppose to would be Len, Vi as Carla, and Lake as Cam. But, I don't think I'll ask them to help me. If over learned anything from Heather's is that if you tell anyone someone will ruin your plans. I dont really have a plan. God, I keep going on rambling. I started at how much my mom hates me and now I'm talking about shooting up the school. The fuck is wrong in my head? How do I turn the switch off? I take way to much inspiration from things. I wish I could be saved.

#Samantha's stranded thoughts