#mostly 'cause with me and my buddies im like “look at this cringe thing i made! :D”

[akiameokami]

The 1st Transition

(This is a fictional narrative that I felt like writing. NOT cute or fluffy, yet at least. There are at least 5 transitions. @extremelykawaiizombie per request, im posting it :P​) It all started the first day of my last year in high school, but that's for a different time. What? Did you think I was going to open my narrative with a  flash back? Come on guys. Be real.

No, this story starts out with me telling you about my first boyfriend in college. We broke up, turns out he was a cishest, bigoted, schmuck.  His name is David.   The First Transition: David Pacheco

They say that the hardest part of college is all the new surroundings, but this change was a Godsend for me. I'd just started my first semester at a college that for legal matters, I wont name. I was there studying for my associates in engineering. Of course, before I could start the learning I had to go to orientation. This is how I met David.

For this recap, I'm going to change the tempo so it's a bit easier to read. I was awkwardly 20 minutes late to the orientation. I couldn't find the flipping building. Thankfully the registration lady was still outside at the table with all the name tags. I cringed internally as I got a good look at her, she screamed old fashioned. "Hello there young man!" She calls to me as I rush over to her, trying to straighten my clothes so I don't look like a slob. "If I can get your name, I will get you a name tag and give you your dorm address!" She says in an overly polite voice that makes me sick. "My name is Adam but you probably have me listed as Ashley Monroe." I say in an equally forced polite tone. The ladies smile instantly drops as she assess what she is seeing. "Alright then, young lady, your dorm is..." She stops with a look of confusion.  "My dorm is what?" I ask in a rushed and probably rude way. I am in a hurry here. "Your dorm is listed as D dorm, but that is a males dorm." She says quietly. I grab the nametag and a sharpie and proceed to write down Adam in big blocky letters. "That's because I'm a flipping dude." I say as I scribble down Dorm D on my hand. "What room is it?" She roles her eyes at me and turns the list so I can see. I scribble down "Room 69" on my hand before returning her sharpie and rushing into the orientation hall.

As I walk into the room I notice that they have the areas split up into buildings, so all the students in A building are together (which is a bunch of hot girls btw) and so on so forth down the line. Of course the group for D dorm is in the middle of the room, and everyone looks at me awkwardly when I have to part the seas to get there. The first thing that I notice as I get a good look at my group is that these are mostly sporty guys. I look at some of the name tags and happen to find one that says "Resident Advisor" and its standing in front of me.   "Adam Monroe?" A stern, deep voice asks me. My eyes tear away from the name tag and glide up this mans neck, past his (chiseled) chin and to his face. He isn't happy. "Yes?" I manage to spit out. He raises an eyebrow at me and marks something on his clipboard. "You're late. If you are ever late for dorm duties I will write you up. Of course, the rest of the group has already covered this. Follow me and I'll introduce you to your "Moral Aid" who will get you caught up." He says as he turns and walks away from me. I can't help but catch sarcasm in his voice when he says Moral Aid. I briefly remember reading about those on the website... They were basically a buddy system for new students. You get roomed with a student who has already been here for at least a year and you are their responsibility. Sounded like a pain to me. "Adam, Meet David." The RA says as he steps aside, clearing my line of sight so that I can see the beautiful beast that stands before me. His light brown skin and slightly spikey hair made me think of that one detective on CSI Miami. More than his face, I find his frame to be impressive. I am guessing he is here on a soccer scholarship because his slender frame looks like he'd be good for going the distance to me.

"Adam." The RA says, clearly annoyed. "Sorry, my bad. Hi, I'm Adam" I say, just barely disguising my voice. David extends a hand out to me with a smile. "Don't worry about it, Adam. My name is David Pacheco. You can call me David or Pache, please no Dave. I will be your Moral guardian, I am here to help you experience all college has to offer." He finishes with a wink. I love the slight edge he has in his voice and can't help but laugh at him. The RA glares at the both of us but moves on to someone else.

"So on a serious note, How bad did Sergeant Ra grill you for being late?" David asks as he leans down to whisper to me. I raise an eyebrow at him to show him I am thoroughly confused. He chuckles slightly and tilts his head towards the Resident Advisor. "Get it, Ra, R. A. It's kind of a running joke among the senior students." He says in that "I made a bad joke" tone of voice. I just smile at him like I think its funny. I don't.

That was it. That was how I met David Pacheco. It was very intimidating at first, especially since I was right about thinking I was placed in the sports building. Turns out D dorm was the closest building to the different sports fields and the pool so that was where they traditionally put people on sports scholarships. To this day I still have no idea how I got there.

Doesn't seem like David's story is over? That's cause its not. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. David and I were roommates and we continued to hang out as he showed me the ropes of the school, he never questioned why I always fought to have bathroom time alone or things like that. He just thought I was insecure. Naturally, we became friends. Until we weren't. That's how it always works though, isn't it?

4 months into my first year of college, one of the swim team members threw a pool party. While I was there (only because David made me go) a drunk David pushed me into the water. I couldn't swim at the time and he had to rescue me. During the rescue he felt my chest and knew I was biologically a female for now.

After that, him and I argued a little bit but the most surprising thing was that he asked if I liked him. At the time I liked him very much so I said yes and we started dating. He said he thought he could be gay if it was for me. He was the first person to make me feel valid. He was my first everything. I was his first secret.

It later came to be that he didn't tell anyone about our relationship and when someone found out and questioned him about it, he called the whole thing ridiculous and said he wasn't gay. When they showed him some pictures that someone had snapped of him and I in the locker room, he outted me. Saying that even though we were dating he wasn't gay because I wasn't a real boy. That's what hurt the most.

After that, I was repeatedly sexually harassed until I left the school. 

This was the First Transition.  

#The life of a Trans Boy #The 1st Transition #Fiction #creative writing #writing #lgbt #trans #boy #trans boy #sad #slightly real

[fitfufme]

hilton boy

boy oh fucking boy. things went my way today...kinda. i hung out with meikal lambov and we banged. it went my way because everything worked out w planning and scheming and getting there. it didnt go my way because it was fucking weird. it wasnt really weird it was kind of just strange. like the he did everything i would want him to do sexually (mostly everything) but it just didnt feel as good as i thought it was. he nut pretty quick the first time and then he didnt nut the second time. im so sick of boys not nutting. i think it could of been better on both our parts if we werent high. you can tell we were being high and our mouth was dry as shit. i was so fucking high i can still feel that shit now.it made me so slump. it was just an odd experience. it was such a fuck like strictly having sex and i know thats what i wanted and im glad it was that but its not very exciting. i feel like i cant have sex without there being passion or excitement. jordan has passion in his kisses. mike had passion in how he acted after we fucked and even before. hunter and fiorino were different. they were passionate because it was fun and new and exciting and unexpected and in hunters case, secretive. there was so passion here, no excitement, it was just casual sex. he barely kissed me which is so annoying because kissing is what turns me on and what i want. it had to have gone somewhat good because he wants to continue hooking up but idek if it is even worth it. now i really know that you cant trust the way boys text cause this boy acted like he was about to rock my world and i didnt even finish. it was such a weird experience. it felt good at times but it also kind of hurt and i just wanted him to nut. i gave him head while he ate ice cream so ur fucking welcome for that buddy boy. he is all bold in text but when i asked him to talk dirty to me he fucking sucked at it. like okay bruh. i wanted to smoke 80 thousand cigarettes after. i want to feel something. maybe this was one of the reasons i did this. i really wanted to feel something but i feel like doing this made me feel less that i already do. i dont feel anything real but i want to. it has been so long since i have felt something real. idk what i expected this to make me feel quite honestly. im glad he doesnt know anybody that i know. i dont want anyone to know about this. how are 3/5 of my bodies named fucking mike? like what the fuck. mike b goes to the army tomorrow so thats just fucking weird. back to this again. i think passion is one of the biggest things i look for in a boy. i need it. i need to feel something when i kiss them, i need to feel consumed. i cant believe how weird it was today. for some reason i figured he would have a different vibe but he is just such a fucking hilton boy. he fucks like how i would think a typical white hilton boy would. he thinks he knows what hes doing but he really doesnt. its like he didnt even look at me. i watched him the whole time. jesus why would i do that cause now its embedded into my fucking brain. and i want to cringe every time i think about it. well i think i do. like i said i dont really feel anything. then theres the possibility that things were only weird cause we were high which is a very actual possibility. but with my luck high or not it would still be weird. his mom was home and everything i think that is so strange. is this what casual sex is? is this really it? its really not that fun i dont get what all the hype is a about. i had casual sex and i got fucked by a hilton boy. what the fuck! (september 8th. 2019 10:23pm)