#most of the transmascs i've met both irl and online since continue to be nothing like those people

[queernobi]

Saw a post from a trans man about transmasculinity which I agreed with at first glance, but then it said something like, "maybe the reason why so many trans men are transmeds is because YOU (referring to non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems) keep kicking us out of other spaces!" and this tweet had a LOT of positive notes and reblogs from other transmascs who agreed with OP.

As a transmasc myself, I really, REALLY need other transmascs to understand a few things:

1) There's literally no verifiable evidence that other transmascs are disproportionately more likely to be bigoted, not even specifically bigoted in the sense that they are transmedicalist. If you are a transmasc and you accept this assertion at face value, then you have either only ever spent time with the shittiest transmasc groups ever (which, to be fair, I used to be in that position, so relatable), or you yourself have troubling attitudes that need to be examined.

2) While I cannot presume to speak for all transmascs, the transmasc folk that I know have only ever been kicked out of communities with other transmascs, usually because those transmascs had shitty attitudes, and *even then* it's happened very, VERY rarely. If you genuinely have a problem connecting with any trans person who isn't transmasc to such an extent that you cannot stay in a group with them for that long, then I'm sorry to say, I have a hard time believing the problem is with those other trans folk.

3) No, and I can't believe I have to say this, being ousted from a group--even for unjustified reasons--is not an excuse to espouse bigotry (and transmedicalism is bigotry). It does not make you sympathetic, or sad, or relatable, or justified, *it just makes you a fucking asshole.*

I don't want to presume too much, but the most generous reading I can take from these sorts of takes (which I want to insist can very well just be me reading way too much into it!) is that many of these transmasculine folk have never really had a lot of spaces or community with other transmascs, which isn't inherently bad (or even their fault, really), but does make it difficult to talk about actual issues transmascs face. I'd like to be able to discuss specific issues transmascs face, and even discuss how difficult it can sometimes be to get other non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems to understand and recognize those issues, without having to cosign dangerous, harmful, and FALSE assertions that no transmasc person ever feels comfortable around non-transmasc trans folk (especially transfems). You are absolutely projecting your own issues and biases there, and as a transmasc myself, I want absolutely no part of that shit.

#transphobia #trans #transgender #transmasc #ftm #i'm sure this will be used to suggest i don't truly understand transmasc issues #but when i was first coming out and trying to find community with other transmascs #i encountered the worst kinds of transmascs who were transmed and incredibly transmisogynist #not to mention extremely judgmental of any deviation from what they assumed was typical masculine behavior #while i'm fortunate to be in an area with a lot of other queer folk #the experience prevented me from wanting to associate with other transmascs irl for a while #i mostly associated with transfems #i don't think i even talked to other transmascs irl until a couple years later #because i was so worried they'd be like the groups i knew online #lo and behold they were nothing like that #most of the transmascs i've met both irl and online since continue to be nothing like those people #i really need other transmascs to understand that this sort of shit hurts not only transfems and non-transmasc nbs #but also other transmascs as well #it makes these communities extremely toxic to be a part of and can cause transmascs to intentionally distance themselves #not just from the specific community but from other transmascs all together #we are already so isolated i am begging y'all to not do this shit