#maybe i'm too idealistic? idc

[meinewellemeinstrand]

How do you think he would treat you as a virgin? Would he be honored and super gentle? Or would he be terrified he'd hurt you and turn you down? Would he take his time and pamper you? Would he talk you thru it? I have SO many questions!! Yes this is about rzk ❤️ (I need help with a fic this is why im asking, no other reason 👀, maybe)

Hi anon! <3

Absolutely love this ask.

So I never really thought about it before to be fair. One thing I'm pretty convinced of is that he wouldn't turn you down. I think he would take it as a personal challenge but at the same time his caretaker instincts would be activated, so he'd make a point of treating you in the gentlest way possible. He's never struck me as a very rough or strictly dominant type anyway - pretty sure he knows what he wants and will take it but in a tender way. Also he looks like a pretty generous lover to me (despite my desire to make him my pillow princess and make him stay there while I do my work) so if he knew he's your first I think he'd focus a lot on you, like a lot, touching and caressing and kissing and licking and sucking everything. And I also feel like he'd be very vocal with you when you focus on him, like talking to you all the time encouraging you and making sure you feel appreciated and comfortable (and moaning a lot to prove his point). Then I think he'd keep on being as gentle as possible once you get to the main act but would also pay attention your body language and try to listen to your reactions. I don't think he'd back down from doing anything he wanted to do but he'd be a little more careful while doing it.

As far as the aftercare goes, apart from lighting up a cigarette to better catch his breath, I feel like he'd shower you with compliments and then make you both a snack. Not sure about the cleaning up part as I'm still trying to make up my mind about him on that matter in general. I feel like he would prioritize making a something to eat (no matter the time of the day) while you clean up and then - after a few more cigarettes and if he doesn't fall asleep - he'd clean up himself. Kinda gross but I'd take it.

A gif here just because it fits.

Sorry it took me so long, I didn't want to make you wait too much since you're working on a fic apparently 👀 How about you send me a link to this fic? Via dm too if you're shy

#maybe i'm too idealistic? idc #loved thinking about this #and love rambling about things i don't know anything about #richard kruspe

[agumonger]

tangent! "being a man".

tangent! how i overthink things

tangent! how i finally figured it out and realized i am, indeed, just a cis dude

it really helped me to realize that while i don't want to be an andrew tate alphahead fast cars football materialism hiding your emotions type man, and i don't want to be a femboy either, i do want to be the kind of man that irradiates a wholesome energy, maybe a bit wacky, but not without a certain kind of wisdom, nerdy but not the petty incel entitled um akshually type, i want to have healer animal talker character type energy, i want to have gentle giant energy, bob ross energy, posy energy, i want to be fascinated by life and by humanity and make people feel like the time they spend with me is time that counts, i want to make them feel safe, loved, supported. i want to create beautiful things, i want to make people go through emotions with what i make, perhaps even discover something about themselves. i want to be warm and approachable and strange and unpredictable and hilarious and idealistic. i want to believe in things like love, honesty and kindness

that's the kind of man i want to be

the detachment that i always felt from traditional masculinity was never truly about aesthetic, or about gender identity, it was always about the toxicity. it's not about dysphoria - i've actually learned to like my body, too. i'm not a demiboy or agender or nb or anything of the sort, i just. don't like the extremely narrow definition of what masculinity is supposed to be, but i don't feel attracted towards the other side either, which is why i always hesitated to speak up about my issues, like "can i really say i'm Not Attached to my Own Gender(TM) if the idea of wearing makeup or a pearl necklace or a skirt clearly makes me glitch out?" was always the question that made me stay silent. "you're overthinking", i told myself, "you're not inventing Masculinity 2 you're just Some Guy. don't be so full of yourself"

and like, actually, yeah of course! of course i'm just some guy! i kept looking at the issue backwards. i kept asking myself "am i really a man?" when the question was "is the stupid ass alpha male method the only valid way to be a cis man, without being labeled as queer?" which, yeah, i am queer (bi) but still!! of course not! of course that's not the only valid way. it's just the most common one that dudes follow, but it doesn't have to be like that

i'm not *not* a man, i'm just not macho and that's different. and yes, 90% of people would consider my outward appearance to still be milquetoast and basic and normal as fuck and that's okay as well. i'm not the type that obsessively hates everything related to the alpha/chad aesthetic thing either

and yeah you might be like "but jojo, you had a gender questioning phase? but you seem as regular vanilla as dudes go! look at you talking about videogames in a hoodie and jeans and a buzzcut" and you would be absolutely right. i just think Too Much About Things

bonus points for reading this: how many male fictional characters with a similar vibe do you know. because i'll probably love them. i love every character that has been written with the understanding that men can be sensitive and sincere with their emotions and vulnerable AND that difference doesn't have to imply any orientation or specific special label of gender identity AND that sensitivity is to be understood and respected and not laughed at

fun fact this is why i love himbos so fucking much. because they got the traditionally masculine aesthetic that i'm hopelessly attracted to (though i wouldn't apply it to myself) but also the potential for genuine sensitivity and kindness and gentleness. emotional intelligence

i think this phase of self-discovery and overthinking that started around lockdown is probably over.

extra bonus points for reading: whatever rappers had goin on aesthetically in the mid 2000s. that. bring it back idc

#MONGER NO #just rambling and stuffs