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#making friends is tough cos i try to limit myself to the same enthusiasm they show and always worry about going overboard
mntcoronet
·
4 years
Text
is it too much to ask... to just have someone I can be close and Soft™️ with... I just want love & someone to love, honestly would that be so difficult, universe?
#maggles ramblings
#got hit with that loneliness again folks 😎
#making friends is tough cos i try to limit myself to the same enthusiasm they show and always worry about going overboard?
#n if they don't reply i just don't send anything more cos I worry i was too much or too odd or something?
#& man I just want a close deep thing again with someone.
#h listening to this one mcr song or two just reminds me of something along those lines from last year. i miss it
#guess I'm still not over that huh
#i mean. tis tough when someone you thought you were close with just cuts you off and never tells you why
#hhhhhhmmmmm i should probably have yknow. gotten over that or something by now. but hey brain gets attached to things
#oh but yea with the making friends thing. i also try to restrain myself cos I feel like i might be too rambly or weird a lot?
#but it's not like i know if I've got any Reason for being like that i just. am?
#and i don't know why??
#and i also worry too much when I'm awaiting a reply cos if I'm waiting for someone to message back and I'm real excited about the convo
#then i will be constantly like!! checking to see when they reply!! and if they don't reply quickly i start unconsciously overthinking
#like. i just start feeling Bad when they take a while. like oh no they hated my message for some reason ahh but then i see them typing and
#that's a rush of relief right there
#and i have trouble holding conversations cos idk how enthusiastic or laid back to be cos i haven't known the person long enough and aaa!!
#ok enough rambling for now. tldr I feel like I've lost close personal relationships recently but can't figure out how to get more or fix em
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