#luckily i'm focused on my mcu ocs at the moment

[iron-parkr]

I need to gather my thoughts for a second and this feels like the only place I can do that right now. You don't have to read this, but you can if you want.

The HP reunion came out last week and of course that stirred up nostalgia from some people about the books and movies and how they helped people when they were younger and all that stuff, and it also brought a lot of people (especially on Twitter, where I'm really active) very adamantly saying that even just not buying things from the t*rf isn't enough, you have to completely stop engaging with the HP books and movies and universe as a whole.

I feel... really conflicted. Because on one hand, I understand. I personally identify as trans (as in, not my agab). I will never, ever support someone who actively disparages and discriminates against any community, let alone one I'm part of. Her words and actions absolutely disgust me. I don't like to wish ill will on others, but I would genuinely be glad if she died tomorrow.

On the other hand, I don't know if I could ever truly step away from HP. Not necessarily the books/movies, since they're so intrinsically tied with the author, but my own stories. I love my HP OCs so much. I think I've come up with some really creative and interesting ideas for them, and I would love to see those come to fruition one day.

But when I'm surrounded by and inundated with a thousand voices screaming at me not to touch the universe, that brings an enormous amount of guilt whenever I even think about my OCs or writing for HP. I feel guilty as someone who identifies as trans. I feel guilty because I have trans friends on other social platforms who are very vocal about how much they despise HP and people who engage with it. I feely guilt because no matter how hard I might try I know it's impossible to totally and completely separate the artist from their work, especially when the work is riddled with her prejudices and horrific stereotypes and so much other problematic (in the proper definition of the word) elements.

When I think about my HP OCs now, I'm left in a state of paralysis, because I want to write their stories and remake the universe as I wish it could be, as much as I possibly can, but the guilt is overwhelming.

#i'm not sure where this was supposed to go but these are my feelings right now #luckily i'm focused on my mcu ocs at the moment #but with all the talks about and gifs of the reunion i worry that that might change #you can ignore this i just needed somewhere to write down my thoughts #delete later