#love mixed with selfishness and violence and greed and and in the end it's creation mixed with destruction

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

they just didn't have to write him as "a great philanthropist"; "a generous benefactor of the empire bay planetarium"; "frequent officer of the empire bay press guild"; "a frequent target of political slander and false arrest because of generosity towards the press"

and at the same time write him as the first of the others to organize drug trafficking; a man who tried to kill all his competitors; "a shady bastard, even for guys in this business"; "ruthless modernizer"; a man who secretly views his close friend as a liability; "the man who killed his own boss" to take his place

"few will moan moretti's passing" from the lost heaven's newspapers and there's nothing like that in the cut-out news reports about carlo's death

#like do you remember . “Micky the Crab” who was falcone's soldier and whom falcone eventually left to clean the fucking toilets #when the guy lost almost all his fingers #and ofc i don't think this whole charade with charity and the press is sincere (can sense 100% money laundering w charity here) but #i think he still felt some appreciation for empire bay bc this city accepted & raised him instead of sicily #i believe that there were also good intentions with the planetarium and maybe other things #maybe not everything was just a money laundering #“your teeth are a gift from god u can sink them into anyone's flesh and call it an act of giving” this is what i mean #that fact that his fucking (ugly but still) MANSION is in a poor residential area it just feels like a slap #violently shaking carlo by his shoulders WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! (gets shot right after) #the fact that he had a reputation as a shady guy among the mafia and a reputation as a philanthropist in society . carlo. why r u like this #this man is a fucking contradiction in some absolutely fucked up gross way and it's killing me. wouldn't want him any other way tho #m2 #like can you imagine. if he actually felt warm towards empire bay. can you imagine if he was actually interested in making this place bette #but still organized the drug trade(which is objectively even worse than a racket) #love mixed with selfishness and violence and greed and and in the end it's creation mixed with destruction #sorry i can't get my thoughts into sentences that make sense all this week #but this contrast is killing me and i think about it a lot and i just wanted to put it together in a compilation

[godofwhite]

♤

There’s a neatly placed piece of paper resting in the graveyard.

Ciel

     My letter to you was not something I could easily do. Drafting letter after letter, each one ended up scrapped hidden in my room. Nothing would sound right, no matter how much I tried. Even now I feel that this doesn’t sound right, but I don’t believe it ever will. There are no words to ever do this justice. Still, they must be said, regardless of what I think of its quality.

     Your death still haunts me to this day, innocent blood spilt on the ground you loved dearly, mixed with those of the many lost to the terrible grudge I held. The War is something I couldn’t let go of, nothing could bring me to forget all the mistakes I’ve done. You, among all the angels, worshiped me with your dying breath. With promises of reward and high praise, you fought for me with all that you could, armed with a voice too pure for violence. There was no doubt in your mind that I was pure, that all of the promised love from my divine heart was genuine. You were convinced.

     I was not the blessed creator you believed me to be.

     All those years ago, I was a monster. Motivated by vanity and selfish desires, my existence was dedicated to winning a pointless war. I was blind with greed, enraged with anything relating to the Devil, and acted on impulse. Only now, so long after these vile acts by my hand, do I realize my fault. Your death was no quick action by your comrade, but a terrible sin carried out from my words.

     It wasn’t that long before your death did I hear about your relationship with Lost. Gossip traveled fast among the angels, all quietly chatting behind your back, eventually reaching my ear. My trusted subordinate, my divine creation, developing love for a demon? I didn’t take the news well.     By my command, I sent two armed angels after you that night. I didn’t think think twice on it.

     My life has known no rest since those days, all of the mistakes I’ve made piling on me like heavy stones. This is something I’ll carry until my dying days, but to let you rest blindly without ever knowing is something I’d rather not think of. No apology could ever fix what has been done, or anything beyond it. I killed you Ciel, nothing could ever forgive that fact. 

    The only thing I can do to repent for these sins, or come as close as I can, is to create a world you’ve always longed for.     Angels and Demons live in peace now, surrounded by infinite colors, beautiful gardens of flowers, and the careful gaze of Kcalb and I. An apple orchard rests near the small village, endless acres of lush forest cover the world, its citizens know nothing of pain. Our world is a symbol of love, having learned the lesson of what violence can do. Another pointless war will never happen on this soil. 

     It pains me that those from the war could never see such a bright future, living in the peace they longed for.

     I wish you could see it all.

Etihw

#angxlicbitx #headcanon;; #IM SORRY THIS IS HC BUT AN IDEA CAME TO MIND #also dont mind me choosing ciel its the first to come to mind #U CAN SEND ANOTHER IF U WANT ANOTHER MUSE