#longest vacation of your life my ass it doesn't feel particularly vacation-y to me

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#while im here i might as well vent #it's so. frustrating how it feels like those past two months have been a neverending slideshow of my personal failures and bad luck #nothing world-ending but significant enough that it greatly bothers me #at least yet #and i know some of those things like idk not being able to get driver's license #are not entirely my fault because i cant just instant fix my epileptic brain or bureaucracy involved in getting the papers despite my healt #but the wasted money and time and hopes hurt. mostly the money #and im riding this spiral of feeling like an emotional and financial burden. not doing anything to fix that and not knowing how to #the guilt just fuels the spiral deeper #im leave the house to forcibly socialise at least once a week because the summer rot WILL do irreparable damage to my brain #longest vacation of your life my ass it doesn't feel particularly vacation-y to me #the amount of important™phonecalls i have to make per week is going to make me go grey #i knowww im whining like a spoiled child and i feel like that too but it's all too damn fast for me #the most accurate form through which i can voice those feelings #is playing dlugosc dzwieku samotnosci on full volume because it's never felt more personal #and my wisdom tooth removal surgery is coming just before my aunt's visit #which means i will have to sit there and attempt to be sociable while in pain and swollen like a dog stung by a bee #just bad luck but it is making me want to tear my hair out #the straw that broke the camel's back for me #vent #juno's silly little thoughts