#like..... honest to fucking god the lighthearted moments- the 'silly jokes' that get under his skin (because they're suppose to)...

[hgduo]

GOD- c!Quackity in marnberg- Quackity in Manberg-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You don't get it!!!!! It's that he was in love- head over heels for L'manburg and infatuated with his husband- but he wasn't just some naïve lovestruck dummy he was resentful- he was vice president- and so when those harsh eyes weren't on him he'd go behind his back and do those little rebellions and curse out his name- but fuck the second they were back on him- it melted away and he'd go from spitting threats to cheering promises that he can make it better- he can make this better- because god when it's good it's so nice and giving up means losing that- all of it- his love, his job, his home, his future- and the good always makes all the bad feel so worth it in the moment- but it didn't matter how much he cared because it got worse and worse right in front of him- and as much as he wanted so desperately too he was never given a chance to fix it- not with those eyes on him- and love mixed with fear- and GOD- JUST ALL OF IT- THE RESENT AND THE LOVE AND THE FEAR-

It all lead up to that moment in the White House... love, fear, and resentment... and resentment won and thank fucking god it did... but-

Even when he had enough he still thought about going back- if it wasn't for c!Tommy he would've gone back- because he was scared, both of c!Schlatt but also being alone- because he didn't want to give up and run away- because he still loved it despite all the bad- he would've gone back-

#okay all of this is to say that- when it comes to portraying c!Quackity in Manberg #you have to remember he was both so in love but also so annoyed- and that's so fucking important- #he'd go from being so heated and furious at his husband to joking around with him the next day- like nothing had happened- #its the fucking mixture of being so fucking done and knowing you deserve better but god... all the nice moments... #it makes you forget how bad it is and how painful it is #and it eats away at you... god- you don't see it immediately but- #c!Quackity post Manberg...... he's never gonna be that optimistic 19 year old jokester ever again #he lives through it but god... it rots you... #c!Quackity in Manberg just fucking breaks me... #yes I am aware I am talking about c!Q back when he was mostly a goofy little man who'd take off his clothes all the time BUT LIKE- #like..... honest to fucking god the lighthearted moments- the 'silly jokes' that get under his skin (because they're suppose to)... #how casual it is... thats what made it feel so real #( also please do NOT fucking read this as shippy... it's not suppose to be shippy at all... ) #( this isn't romance it's tragedy ) #theres just so much about c!Q in manberg- how it reflects him as a character and the way it captures the situation so much- #emotional and verbal abuse rot you inside out and you dont even notice it until you leave