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kozutenshi · 3 years

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"neh, tooru." he tilted his head to the side, looking at your figure arranging the pillows in your small makeshift house.

"i'll definitely marry you when we're older."

he chuckled at your sudden outburst, not coping with what you said. "what do you even mean by that?"

"well, marriage.. isn't that what happens when two people want to stay together in each other's side forever?" your unsure and confused expression made him laugh harder. the pout on your lips made him stop, patting your cheek with a soft smile on his face.

"well then, i guess i'm gonna have to get a ring ready."

BALAY BALAY

— "bahay-bahayan" in Filipino!

— a game played my two or more wherein the kids would act like a real family doing what a family does normally. literally in simple terms, playing house.

— used to play this with my cousin, two other friends, and my childhood friend. yes, my childhood friend was the dad and i was the mom.

sometimes, you wonder which events made things turn out to be how they currently were.

seasons change, and your years of stay in this world had been growing. the amount of times you told a lie or two, the amount of times you cried, laughed, burst out of anger; collectively, this was what our life was.

oikawa thinks the same way too.

the young man sat on the park bench, looking out to the beach of brazil. he should be in argentina right now, practicing the sport he loves, but ever since he got the mail, it was as if a part of him felt too empty to function. his team gave him a week off, and he found himself going back to brazil reminiscing.

he thumbed the gold letterings, almost wishing the letter came with your scent instead of the roses that made the contents painfully obvious.

of course he had opened it, the seal already broken enough to know that he had opened it several times. taking a deep breath, he held his tears back.

how did it come to this?

on the other side of the world, you waited for his answer, the man you stuck with since children. it had been days since the mail was reportedly received. you were nervous, gulping down a lump on your throat to his lack of response. warm arms wrapped you from behind, kissing your temple. "hasn't he replied yet?"

his hand took yours, playing with the ring he gave you and drawing slow therapeutic circles on your skin. you smiled sadly at your fiancee, before shaking your head and melting into his arms. "nope. aren't you supposed to be at work?" he chuckled sheepishly before picking up his things and kissing you tenderly. "yeah. i'm off now. i'm sure he's just preoccupied so don't stress yourself over his response, yeah?" you nodded, sending him off with a loving smile which he returned.

as the door closed, your eyes went back to the laptop screen, begrudgingly thinking of your work before sitting down and continuing it. you didn't know what time it was when you finished, but it was probably an hour or two already when the doorbell rang.

lazily, you stood up and opened the door to find oikawa standing at your doorstep. "yo, n/n-chan." your eyes showed your shock and your body froze, before you relaxed and chuckled. "yikes, i'm hallucinating," you muttered under your breath before closing the door in his face.

"you know.. i'm flattered that you think of me that much that i can be a hallucination.. but for real, i'm 100% human, no alien stuff here."

the "I can't believe you're here" face you had made him chuckle, opening his arms for you to fall into. your scent was familiar, your warmth, your smile, until you dissolved into sobs. frantically, he moved away from you and wiped the tears off tenderly with shaky hands. "what? why are you crying?!"

"tooru! why weren't responding to me?" he chuckled nervously, knowing full well that telling the real reason will complicate things. "i wasn't sure what to answer just yet so i decided to discuss the matter with my coaches first. sorry, n/n-chan. now, can you stop crying, princess?"

it was painful to lie to you, but if it is for what's better, then he'd do it. "don't call me that." you urge yourself to move away and invite him into your apartment shared with your fiance. his eyes scanned the loft, noting the things that mirrored your personality on every shelf, every wall.

"how long have you been here in japan?"

"this is my third day. i'll go back tomorrow."

"ah, i see. then shall we spend the day together?"

"yeah. i did meet the three guys yesterday. it's your turn."

you placed the bowl of chips in front of him, urging to eat while he raised his eyebrows in question. "why didn't you invite me?"

"better question. why are you eating chips this early?" you shrugged, shoving a piece or two into your mouth. "it's not that early. it's like, almost noon."

he rolled his eyes and started eating. the silence stretched on but it was comforting. his eyes raked on your figure, how you were still the same, but different. as if a part of you stayed, the other changed.

"oh yeah. i have to go to that volleyball thing to help takeru with his plays. wanna come with?"

"takeru, as in my nephew?"

"yeah, who else?"

"there are tons of takeru's in this country, y'know."

you shrugged. "well you have no choice. you're coming with. say cheese to the camera. i'll tell my fiancee about you suddenly being here." raising your phone, you snapped a photo to your fiance, telling him you'll spend the day with tooru which he agreed with a "take care" message.

oikawa watched your lips curve to a smile, the same one he fell in love with, only to realize it wasn't for him. was he hurt? no.

numb. that's what he was.

the two of you passed by your previous school, onto the training grounds reminiscing stories after stories. with a pouting takeru, the three of you watched the smaller children train, a fond smile on your face. a small little girl stumbled to you with tears. "mama?"

oikawa saw how petrified you looked for a second before you sat down and tried to ease her. he then recalled how the two of you used to play, hand in hand, eyes to eyes. he sat beside you, patting the head of the child lightly which she seemed to like.

you watched how he calmed her with no words, and how she went from crying to laughing in minutes. a fond smile was on your face when the mother came over and took the child.

"you two look good together. thank you so much for taking care of her."

"thank you but we aren't-"

"thank you. it was no problem ma'am!"

he waved a hand to the child who smiled at him and waved back. his smile was a genuine warm one, his eyes holding adoration, before they shifted to you. "what are you staring at, n/n-chan?"

you shook your head. "i just wondered where you got your skills in calming down a child until i remember takeru."

"I didn't learn it from taking care of him, y'know." confused, you looked at him, his eyes looking somewhere far. "i learned it from you." he stood up, stretching and looked down on your sitting figure.

"c'mon n/n-chan. before they remember who i am-"

"excuse me. you're oikawa tooru, right?"

a highschool girl shyly stood with her group of friends, their phones clutched to their chests. somehow this reminded you of the days when he was innocently playing volleyball with iwaizumi, until a bunch of girls came from the vending machines, clutching boxes of milk in different flavors, some holding milk bread in their hands. you deadpanned when you realize they were holding out their phones for you to take their picture.

"tooru. you better treat me food after this, okay?" he knew your look. the one that made him gulp and feel threatened. "yes, of course, n/n-chan."

and so he did, and before you know it, it was getting dark. the two of you were in the apartment, the credits rolling just like every other times the two of you bonded.

"today was fun."

it's always fun with you. "sure was."

now, unlike before, the silence was deafening. "have you ever wondered.. how things would've worked out if you did something different in the past?"

your question caught him off guard and he tensed up before he suck into the couch. "not really." a lie.

"it might weigh down on me too much if i did."

your chuckle came sad, a hint of pain under it. "i see." now the atmosphere was too quiet. the movie has rolled its credits, the TV flashing a selection of movies again.

painful. it was painfully obvious that something is wrong and you couldn't help but want to cry.

"do you.. remember-"

"will you come?"

your voice was unsure, shaky, loud, when you looked at him with tears in your eyes. "you will, right?" his heart cracked. he knew this would happen already. he flashed a soft smile before taking you in his arms.

"of course i will. it's the wedding of my favorite n/n-chan after all. besides, you know i.."

he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his thumb wiping your tears gently. there was something lonely about his movements, the way he caressed you, as if saying 'this is the last time', or maybe a temporary goodbye. he held you closer, his warmth enveloping you.

"i will always be there."

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