#like i did something wrong and she still hasnt apologized to me for also lashing out at me for asking 'too many questions' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koyurim · 4 years

Text

its okay to not be okay 11-12

our three main leads are working hard to become a family that communicates and works well together, and my heart is SO full!!!!!!!! but of course, as they start to uncover the past, the temptation to shift back into old patterns haunts our kang-tae in particular.

cw: ptsd, war imagery, blood, murder

i am SO proud of the growth that all three leads have put in to move forward, especially sang-tae. last week, we saw kang-tae slip into his old beliefs that he wasn’t allowed to have anyone else in his life other than his brother, however, this week, as he realizes how afraid he was to potentially lose moon-young, he finally accepts the fact that he wants moon-young in his life. this acceptance means he can no longer live as he used to, which changes his demeanor completely, and everyone can see it!

the world that he and sang-tae created before was a world only meant for the two of them, they kept people out to protect themselves but as a result both were incredibly lonely. kang-tae’s approach of trying to get sang-tae to understand that moon-young will be another person to stand by his side moved me so much. love isn’t a competition where people are pushed in and out of our lives, but rather the more love we have for people, the stronger our communities and support systems can become.

kang-tae also finally begins to approach sang-tae as his brother and not as a caretaker. when the two of them fought, i felt such relief to see the two of them act like real siblings. even though it was hard to hear, sang-tae needed to be told that he needs to act like an adult because he’s not a child who can constantly be babied. and sang-tae loves his brother enough to change; his amazement and heartbreak when he realized that kang-tae was happy in his sleep for the first time really spoke volumes. earlier, sang-tae said that kang-tae cries in his sleep, so this must have been a big change and sang-tae was able to realize how big and healthy of a change this was all for kang-tae. he consequently commits to becoming an adult who can make room for kang-tae and moon-young in his heart.

when he asked if kang-tae had eaten and bought him a meal, i cried because sang-tae has always understood the way that kang-tae shows him love and is trying to do the same. sang-tae also begins to try to tackle his past traumatic memories of their mom’s death because he no longer wants gang-tae to have to suffer from their constant moving. as sang-tae tries to grow up and learns to understand that he can give care in addition to receiving it, it impacts others positively as well. sang-tae was able to help mr. gan pil-ong’s ptsd episode in the same way that kang-tae cared for him.

sang-tae’s acceptance of moon-young felt really earned and i love the family dynamic they’re creating. moon-young is one of the only people who treats sang-tae like a proper adult and the two of them are so similar, their banter is fun and feels very sibling like. the two of them are so principled and unbending but they respect each other enough that their bickering pushes each other to consider different and new perspectives. sang-tae even quotes moon-young verbatim about promises when he talks to director oh about being paid for his mural!

moon-young’s also grown so much, and i really appreciate the way that she’s grown in her empathy for others, but it doesn’t dilute her personality at all. she’s still pushy and demanding and fun, but she acknowledges that this can be inconsiderate and rude; she tried to check in with kang-tae when she noticed that he was upset and even asked if she was stepping over his toes in a way that he had said earlier, showing that she really took his criticism to heart. she also still went to take a photo with sang-tae because he too is important to her despite her disappointment that kang-tae wasn’t there. her and kang-tae’s dynamic as a couple feels genuine to who they are and is always very fun and hilarious (and HOT) to watch, like when she demanded his cooperation for a son. i also loved the way she asked jae-su for help without even asking for help (ordering pizza to demand his presence).

kang-tae’s suspicions that moon-young’s mom killed his mom has thrown him for a loop, which is very understandable. it was a traumatic moment that he also has never processed, despite the focus being almost entirely on sang-tae’s memories of that moment. he defaults to wanting to run and i think his explosion at moon-young made sense because he needed space, but i DO think he needs to apologize. he never apologized to moon-young for the hurtful things he said to her when he pushed her away last week and while they were able to overcome and figure things out with sang-tae, this feels like a bad pattern to establish where kang-tae gets moody (for real reasons and his initial tendency to run away) and lashes out while moon-young has to work to figure out what’s wrong. however, his late appearance to the photoshoot gives me hope that he’s going to acknowledge what he’s done! i also hope this means he’ll do his best to face his past head on holding the people he loves near to his heart instead of pushing them away.

also, i feel like jae-su deserves much more than he gets in this show. jae-su is right that kang-tae only talks to him when he needs something and this isn’t a great dynamic for friends! jae-su’s a fantastic friend (also very loyal, i love how he immediately let moon-young know about the ‘ants’) and deserves some lovE!!!

sang-in and ju-ri have really grown on me. his earnest courtship of her has won my heart and i want to see ju-ri respond!! why hasnt he called her???

theory time! many folks seem to think that sang-tae and moon-young are siblings, but i dont think there’s much weight behind this theory. if this was true, i feel like she would have kidnapped sang-tae after killing his mom. rather, i think sang-tae’s mom started a job at a welfare agency and perhaps threatened to take moon-young away from her mom. (or did something that caused moon-young’s mom to become incredibly possessive and jealous). i also think moon-young’s mom is actually her step-mom and was incredibly controlling of moon-young’s appearance and actions to model her after herself in a way to stake her claim as ‘mother’ in moon-young’s life. if this theory is right, then who’s moon-young’s ‘birth mom’? i feel like it might be a character we already know and im leaning most towards juri’s mom (which would make the two sisters!!! and would make sense given ep 13′s title “Janghwa and Hongryeon,” which sounds like a TERRIFYING folktale).

other questions i have, what is the deal with nurse park?? what is her stake in this whole situation? i feel like she asked kang-tae to check the rooms so that he’d see moon-young’s family portrait. why is she so interested in sang-tae? is someone actually living in the basement? is it park ok-ran? maybe that’s why they haven’t caught her. how come park ok-ran knows so much about moon-young’s family?

#Its okay to not be okay #psycho but its okay #kdrama

14 notes · View notes

someguy1023 · 5 years

Text

I dont know why im doing this

But fuck it because im an obsessive bitch and dont know better

The Confirmed Timeline For All This Bullshit So Far

Sometime Prior to Febuary 2018

-Heidi and Jared enter a polygamous relationship. Heidi meets and has another partner while Jared (presumably) does not. (According to messages gathered on Jared’s subreddit, it seems he had at least one other partner while he and Heidi became polygamous. Both the partner(s) and Jared indicate they had Heidi’s approval beforehand.)

Feb. 8th (i think) 2018

(yeah i know, i just cant remember when it was but it was around then and guess what i can edit this so)

-Jared gets consent with Heidi to bring Holly into their whole thing. She also consents to them having sex, if they wish. Jared and Holly proceed to take a walk together and simply talk about Jared’s feelings towards Holly.

Feb. 10 2018

-Heidi, presumably frustrated with Jared, lashes out at Holly, calling her from Jared’s phone. (personal note; it still really bugs me that she would decide to scream at Holly for no other reason than talking to her husband about being a part of something she had initially permitted. Thats entirely my opinion, and im not trying to comment on her consent, i agree that anyone in a polyamorous relationship has a right to revoke, but there was no real reason for her to take out her frustration about her husband on Holly just because they talked. i dunno.) Holly attempts to apologize, but Heidi refuses, and removes her consent. It can also be assumed that around this point, Heidi possibly ceased her relationship with her other partner, but nothing proves or denies that other than Heidi’s claims and deduction. Its not fully clear when this happened.

(During this period, between February and October, Holly and Jared only personally interact with each other during DCA. Since Heidi hasnt indicated that anything was done prior to October, this seems true. So for those who keep insisting Holly cheated on Ross, sorry but youre Wrong. Additionally, over this period of time, Heidi, seemingly out of desperation, begins to threatening Jared about destroying DCA and call Holly again...for some reason? That honestly still doesn’t add up to me. Regardless, Heidi begins to confront Jared over text messages)

Sept. 19 2018

-Ross and Holly annouce their divorce for personal reasons. (Anyone who wants to start chucking in the “It was because of Jared” bombs kindly fuck off) Ross and Holly seemingly remain friends based on their interactions with each other and insist they seperated on good terms with one another. It’s unknown whether they had divorced that same month or were just announcing it after it went through. No proof has surfaced regarding the former of latter.

Oct 2018

-Sometime after Holly had moved to Washington, she and Jared begin to see each other romantically. (Im not fully sure when this happened, someone said it was like mid to late October, but theres no real proof to back that up.)

(this is where things get complicated. according to Holly, Jared was already seperated from Heidi, while Heidi claims they officially seperated in Febuary this year. to be honest, i still dont know)

May 7th 2019 (sorta)

-Heidi posts to her Facebook, announcing her and Jared’s divorce. She also mentions that she is the one filing the divorce. (Rememeber that)

May 8th 2019

-Jared announces on Twitter that he is divorcing Heidi. He doesn’t mention the reasons, and tries to keep things neutral. Heidi “responds” sometime later.

May 13th 2019

-Jared and Heidi legally divorce. According to their file on the official Washington Court Public Records website, Jared was the one who submitted the divorce form, not Heidi. He also submits, and has approved, a Temporary Restraining Order on Heidi. Heidi, when asked about it, denies its existence. (some people have pointed out that he either did this to make it seem like he was the victim, or to prevent her from accessing his financial stuff. both are plausable, but considering that they both had already split things with each other (presumably due to a prenuptial agreement or something) the latter doesnt make a lot of sense.)

aaaand thats just about it. Thats the chronological order of this huge garbage fire i just cant see to pull myself away from because im a fucking masochist and just want to feel worse.

#atelierheidi #commander holly #heidi o'farrell #heidi o'ferrall #holly conrad #jared knabenbauer #projared #projared scandal

6 notes · View notes

flower-of-the-desert · 5 years

Text

City of Bones Thoughts

So full disclosure, I came into this with hella low expectations and prepared for the worst thing I’ve ever read basically. Many of that is because of the comments I’ve seen from other people and if I’m being completely honest? I disagree with about 90% of the things I’ve seen them say about this book. So there’s that. My thoughts in no particular order are below, I’ll try to keep it brief since otherwise it’s gonna get sooo long (my notes ended up being 14 pages which I debated whether I should just post them or not but decided to just give a summed up version instead).

Overall, I enjoyed this book a whole lot more than I ever thought I would and I love that. I absolutely loved many things from world-building elements to character interactions and conflicts and resolutions and I’m definitely looking forward to the next ones.

1) I like the writing style; one thing I’ve always liked about CC’s books is that it’s easy to read them because the writing isnt some pretentious attempt at sounding smart, it’s simple and easy to understand and I very much enjoy that. And it’s actually a bit better than TID? which I didnt expect but in TID there were a lot - and I mean a lot - of repetitions and the same descriptions used a million times in like a page-two pages max which was kind of annoying and I thought it would be the same here but it wasnt which again, I enjoyed very much.

2) I like the basic idea of the plot, there was nothing super shocking about it, of course, since I’ve already watched the show but I like the idea of the whole hidden world, angels vs demons, warlocks, magic, vampires and werewolves and all that; I’ve said before and I’ll say again, one of my favourite - if not the favourite - things about these series is the universe that it created. It has some of my all time favourite tropes and world-building elements and it’s the first thing I fell in love with.

3) I like Hodge being the guy backstabbing the heroes and the foreshadowing of that; it was subtle enough that if I didnt know I wouldnt immediately realise it but if I reread the book or read it already knowing what he’ll do it’s super fun to pick up on the little clues.

4) I loved that we actually got a resolution to the Clary/Alec conflict - and a satisfactory one at that! I absolutely didnt expect there to be one but I adore that their big fight was properly addressed and they both handled it in a mature responsible way.

5) Speaking of the big fight - one of my favourite scenes of the book! And one of the things I strongly disgaree that it was So PrObLeMaTiC; I mean yes, both of them were wrong to act the way they did, absolutely, but like people arent always fucking perfect? Sometimes they do bad things, they lash out and hurt other people in a moment of high emotions, etc. It doesnt make them terrible people forever more (especially if they apologize and realise their mistakes, which both Clary and Alec did). So in that repsect I fucking loved that scene - it was emotional, it was ugly but incredibly true to both characters and what they’ve been bottling up since the start of the story. And like I said, it had an actual resolution which makes it even better.

6) Another favourite scene - MAGNUS (is anyone surprised anymore). Every time Magnus was in a scene or was mentioned I might have definitely screamed. It be my brand. The scene where the gang goes to him for help is just amazing - everything about it; some many things going on, Magnus’s reluctance to help shadowhunters vs his fondness for Clary, Jace trying to blackmail him with the treath of the Clave like a typical shadowhunter, Alec’s quiet observations of Magnus and how he was the first and only one to not get upset with him and to assure him his past isnt his fault (also speaking of that, if Magnus shared his past with his step-father in this scene then doesnt that create a slight plot hole with TRSOM where he shares the same story with Alec? Although I assumed this was the first time Alec was hearing it but I dont think anything indicated this int he scene itself? Also Magnus was very brief here and didnt go into details so that could also be a reason). Magnus’s struggle to express to Clary that different doesnt always mean better and also how upset he got with the implication that he might have done something to “break” her when all he’s ever wanted was to help - I love him so damn much. Also I love love how utterly unimpressed he is with shadowhunters still and how badass bossy he is and how he still managed to slip in some knock-downs on the Clave and shadowhunters by reminding Clary she isnt better than the rest of them.

7) “Keep it in your pants, shadowhunter” only a true King(TM) can open his introduction scene like this.

Also “Not for free, darling, and you cant afford me” - BEST LINE OF THE WHOLE BOOK

8) Magnus throwing a birthday party for his cat - ❤️❤️❤️

9) Another scene I love and I think it did a great job of setting up both characters is the convo bw Alec and Isabelle while Clary is unconscious - I made a seperate post just about that because I liked it that much but basically I love that we see Isabelle being rather judgemental while Alec - the gay shadowhunter living in a unaccepting society is the one that seems to be missing that quality and comes to the defence of people more often than not.

10) Speaking of Alec, I really really like him so far; he’s sweet and clever and sarcastic in a different way than Jace and apparently has the one brain cell of the whole Institute 99% of the time (the other 1% is when Church has it) which is just a perfect recipe for a favourite character in my dictionary. I hope I keep liking him because after three seasons of wanting to punch show!Alec in the face, I really need this. Another agrument I disagree with comes with Alec’s fighting skills and people saying CC made her gay character deliberately weak... but like the narrative explicitly points out several times that Alec hasnt killed a demon yet not because he’s weak but because he focused on watching Jace and Izzy’s backs and using more defensive tactics rather than offensive. And then in the fight with Abbadon all of them are shown to be shaking in fear and basically useless against the demon, not only Alec. Jace - the golden hero - cant do anything either so I fail to see this as a slight against Alec. The fact that Isabelle and Jace arent dead yet should be proof enough that Alec is good at his job.

11) people getting called out for doing/saying shitty things at various points - I love that song

12) there’s a lot more self-awareness than I originally anticipated.

13) “You need to know someone to love them” - book!Alec be speaking from my soul

14) I liked rat!Simon 100% more than human!Simon and that should tell you all you need to know about my feelings about him.

15) the finale scene between Clary, Luke, Jace and Valentine - I loved that. Although I knew what would happen it still gripped me in a way I didnt expect and I was practically on the edge of my seat. The way Jace struggled with his feeling for his father, Clary trying to break him out of it, Luke and Valentine facing off - there was so much emotion going on and characters pushing each other and interacting in meaningful ways and arh, I loved it.

16) Jace’s portrayl as an abuse victim makes so much sense like every word and action makes sense given his backstory and it really makes me feel for him... except that one scene where he manipulates Alec into coming with them when he didnt want to by hitting on his insecurities. That was one thing I wished had also been addressed in the end.

17) Things I didnt enjoy - the girl hate between Clary and Isabelle and Simon’s nice guy bullshit. Both can kindly fuck off. Those are probably my biggest complains in this book which I hope with that ending we’re going to fix at least the first issue.

#city of bones #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc

6 notes · View notes