#like flynn saying good luck out there to yuri if you sleep at the inn at aurnion... even tho he's literally in the party | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

4328fox · 3 years

Text

Ordination Day

summary: Yuri is invited to the event that would make Ioder and Flynn's positions official. Some things are bound to change as a result. The question is whether or not one is able to accept such change.

notes: pairing is fluri, though this is set pre-relationship. Also, TOV spoilers everywhere!

Once again, I’d like to thank everyone who helped me as I was writing this!

Wordcount is (almost) 13k words. here’s a link to AO3, if you’d rather read it there!

You’re sitting by a windowsill, in an inn in Aurnion. You wrapped up a quick delivery job for someone here earlier. Normally, you wouldn’t have lingered here. While thinking about your circumstances, you glance down to a piece of paper, still resting on your lap. The core of your blastia glints under the moonlight.

Please come to Master Ioder’s ordination.

Flynn won’t even put a proper invitation in, but you’d thrown it out if he did. He knew that very well too. Still, you wondered why he bothered asking.

You stretch a bit, letting out a huff that might just be you mocking the letter. You actually did consider ignoring this altogether. Saying it got lost in the mail, or something. You didn’t want to be mixed into this, not when you had little reason to.

Writing has never been in your style either, but you’d write back to Flynn, to keep in touch with him. He made you promise to, because after the Adephagos was dealt with, it would mean going your separate ways again. Not that you didn’t run into him, sometimes. Or pretty often, even. It’s a well-known fact that your luck is cursed, and Flynn doesn’t know when to leave things be. You wonder if Flynn ever spends time in his room.

Another letter came a day after Flynn’s, this time from Estelle. It must have been serious enough that she went out of her way to write to you, but you already had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t the emergency you expected.

Yuri, I know that you insisted I throw out that uniform when you caught me sneaking it in your bag, but I held on to it. Once you come here, I’ll let you have it again. It’s for Ioder and Flynn’s ceremony!

And of course it’s Flynn’s ceremony too. As of now, you don’t know what to expect, aside that it’s both Emperor and Commandant ordinations going down in one event. It's hardly surprising that Flynn wouldn’t put any weight on his official promotion taking place.

For a while, the ordination has been the talk of Terca Lumireis. Estelle’s teacher mentioned it before you and Brave Vesperia stopped the world’s end. And after the loss of the barriers, people needed to hold on to something that wouldn’t spark anxiety. Of all places, even Dahngrest began talking about it.

You stretch again. You suppose you should get going to bed, because you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. You step over to the sleeping Repede, recounting how you turned down Judy’s offer to fly you to Zaphias today. With the main event two days away, you felt like you wanted to take the long route, instead. At least some people established that dock that was made to connect Illycia and Hipionia.

And unless someone were to ask Judy and Karol, no one really knows you’re here. Not that it truly matters, but there’s already going to be some amount of attention on you when you’re in the capital. A small reprise of privacy doesn’t hurt anyone.

You have to nudge Repede a little before you can comfortably lay down in bed. The warmth of your partner is calming, and distracting enough to lull you to sleep.

You are anything but a morning person, but you wake up early due to your gut squeezing at you. Just from trying to comb through your hair with a hand, you can already feel where it tangled up.

The next thing you know, you’ve taken semblance of a decently-looking person, now checking out of the inn. You and Repede note the nice weather outside, the town bustling with life more and more with each new visit you make here. It reminds you of the Lower Quarter. The community here is growing to be just as close-knit too, and you can’t not smile while passing some kids, they’re already running wildly at this hour. There were less of them last time you were here, and you didn’t realise that until this morning.

What you do realise, however, is that a fair-haired Commandant has no business being in Aurnion today. You can’t make out much of him from this distance, but he is armored as ever. He seems to have been handing some reports. You never get how Flynn is this chipper so early in the day, but the sun shining and reflecting on his pauldrons gives him a brighter look. From a certain angle, it would even be blinding.

You make eye contact with him, and he’s already distracted from whatever conversation he was having with the captain stationed here. You stand there, a building or so away by now, as he excuses himself and steps over to you and Repede.

“Yuri, what are you doing here?” he smiles at you in surprise, but you catch his eye twitching, subconsciously. He kneels to greet Repede too, who is ecstatic to see him.

“That’s what I’m wondering. You should be in Zaphias.” You cross your arms as you study his body language more. He doesn’t seem to have packed much on his person, much like yourself. And his hair is its usual messy. He looks up at you, and he squints, actually, because the sunlight hit his eyes.

“I had a blastia thief to deal with. I had to act.”

Of course he did. These cases are singular and not too common, thankfully, but Flynn takes each and every one of them himself. You can tell he still looks slightly breathless, he must have run all the way here.

He stands up to meet your eyes. “And you? I thought Ba’ul would give you a ride.”

“He and Judy have plenty to do. I was just sightseeing here.” You offer a grin, but Flynn must already know that you’re here for a guild job, not looking entirely impressed.

“Well, if we both happen to be here, would you like to go back to Zaphias together?” Before you can even open your mouth, he continues, “We can catch up, and all.”

“We can catch up during your ceremony too,” and he instantly gets a bit exasperated at what you’re trying to imply, even if you’re just joking. “But, yeah, we are going in the same direction. Will your knights mind me taking you away from them for a day?”

Flynn tries not to grin at the way you phrased it, but he now looks like he’s grimacing. “Not ‘my knights’. But just give me a few. I’ll be ready to head out soon.”

You nod at each other, and you instead take your walk’s direction for the entrance of Aurnion. Repede woofs at you and you can’t help but sigh. So much for some alone time.

Not that Flynn is a bother beyond his nagging, but you should have suspected something like this would have happened. In fact, you usually do expect it, it’s a habit you picked up from the past year and a half. While you don’t seek his blue uniform out in a crowd, you do strain your ears for his voice, for some indication that he’s in the same place as you again.

If you didn’t run into each other just now, you would have instead come to Zaphias hearing that he’s running late on preparations for his own special day. Because something’s always bound to come up. The moment Flynn notices an issue, he obsesses over it until he gets it dealt with.

You lean against the entrance of the town, Repede barking as you exchange conversation with him. It isn’t long until Flynn is back at your side and ready to go, somewhat brighter and less sleep-deprived. He scratches behind Repede’s ears one more time before you three officially exit the premises of Aurnion.

The first group of monsters you come across is not overwhelming, but you were struggling to take a breather. It’s good that you packed healing items, and that Repede is so fast. Once able to continue on walking, you find yourself a bit too worn out to offer much of your usual quips. Though it’s because you spend some time in silence that you notice something is eating at Flynn. You should get him to talk.

“Flynn-”

“Yuri-”

You both stop to look at one another. Repede barks, as if to join in.

“You first,” Flynn insists. “I don’t mean to interrupt.”

“Nah, I was going to ask you why you look so nervous. Out with it.”

You give him a look, and he somehow resists rolling his eyes. “I was wondering what you’ve been up to. Besides guild jobs.”

“That’s all?”

“What else should there be?” At a loss for words, you cross your arms. You spot a large enough rock and make a move to go sit on it, but Flynn speaks again. “We don’t need a break for this.”

“...I suppose you’re right. But let me think.”

“Ever so busy, I take?” You can hear the grin in his voice, and you have to push down the urge to tell him to shut it, before his teasing even began.

As you all continue walking, you’re wondering out loud, recounting if anything potentially interesting happened with you. There’s you and the guild looking for a more permanent residence. Flynn assures you that you would all be welcome to Zaphias, if you so wanted. You think a bit more, but decide against it. Too many knights, among other things, wouldn’t make it so ideal. Though you get the feeling you made him disappointed voicing that.

You throw in a story or two between rambling, and he at least offers enough of a conversation so it doesn’t feel disgustingly one-sided. Flynn then gives a story of his own, and talks about another success that he and Ioder managed against the council. The pride bubbles up in you, you say how them working together like this has resulted in a lot more progress being made than what Alexei had seemingly done in his entire time as Commandant. Flynn makes a troubled response, unable to argue against it, and conversation quickly dies.

The silence settling becomes a suffocating one, you both can tell. Alexei is still a sore topic. Flynn tries again by asking “You haven’t been in my new quarters, right?”, which is possibly one of the worst ways to follow up a topic concerning Alexei.

But you humor him anyway. “Is that a special invitation? I thought ordinary people have no business there.”

“Yuri, you’re no ordinary person.”

“Whatever, still not castle staff. But no, you only wrote to me about it. Didn’t it take a while to convince you to move there?”

Flynn flushes a bit, but continues. “It’s still weird. It’s too big, it makes me wonder if there’s any use in repurposing it.”

“Into what?”

“I haven’t thought of it... “

Repede just then barks, and sprints ahead. You turn, and notice the docks. You pick up the pace. Once closer, you now see a few knights positioned there to keep watch. They instantly regard Flynn with the utmost respect. They instantly recognize you too, as a friend of the Commandant. You find it weird.

By the time Flynn started talking to them, probably about some knight things that don’t concern a criminal like you, you and Repede have already decided to board the ship yourselves. There are a few more passengers, but there are also various cargoes going in and out of the ship. It’s probably supply exchanges between the two continents.

You directly head for one of the cabin rooms. Once there, Repede settles comfortably over the bed. You sit down too.

...Maybe you should ask someone at the castle to patch up this Dhaos cape. The winds are less harsh with it on, and it gives you a weird sense of strength fighting with it. As you go through your things, you find your bag weirdly empty on supplies. “Was this your doing?” you ask in Repede’s direction, who only barks back indignantly. Maybe Flynn is low on gels too.

Not that you can exactly ask Flynn now, because he has things to do. Flynn runs on tasks and missions all the time at this point, you would hardly be surprised if he comes here apologising, because he found he needs to take a detour in Halure, or something.

The cabin door opens after some time, revealing him. “And here’s the guy who drained me of my Apple gels again.” You say dryly.

Flynn doesn’t relax from whatever tension he built up. While he doesn’t look visibly nervous, you can tell his throat dried up on the way here. He still frowns at your remark. “I don’t think I threw that many at you this time.”

You grin, you’re already scooting over to give Flynn the sitting space. “I’d say you owe me gels, but stuff them in your own mouth next time, alright?”

“I doubt I came in here to hear that from you, of all people.” From how close you both are now, you can hear something in his body crack slightly upon sitting on the bed.

“And I doubt I was ready to be low on apple gels now.”

“Yuri…”

“I’m just saying!”

“You’re impossible.” Flynn finally slinks back to lay down, and you can hear the metal of his armor click here and there as he positions himself comfortably enough. You watch the way he stretches his torso, and the way he arches ever so slightly, as a pleased sigh escapes his lips. Your eyes trail up to his own, and you find that he’s looking back at you, smiling.

Something on your face threatens to make you smile too, so you cover it up by talking: “Don’t tell me you’re actually sleeping like this.”

“Will you really kick me off for it?” his pointed look only said hypocrite.

“Right. So did you come here because you haven’t had enough of me yet?”

“I can handle a lot before I get enough of you.”

“Sure, say that. But we might be stuck at the hip until nighttime.” You lay back down in the same fashion Flynn has, and now you’re both relaxing side by side, staring at the ceiling. Seconds pass before you ask. “You did leave someone else to handle the organizing at Zaphias, right?”

Flynn sighs a bit. “Lady Estellise insisted she would. And I’d rather not dwindle with something if someone else can do it better.”

“Estelle knows her stuff, yeah. At least you get less time with the council before the main event.” Flynn groans, and you can’t not chuckle. “What now?”

“Nothing, I’m just thankful for Lady Estellise and Master Ioder dealing with them while letting me take on actually important tasks.”

“Wow, you’re kinda honest for once. Are you sure no one is eavesdropping on you to hear how sick you are of the council now?” You mockingly peer at the door, and Flynn shoves you as you laugh.

“It’s not that. But they’d be on my back for taking on emergencies now. They’d say-”

“That you have other knights to handle this? That you can just stay in the capital?” Flynn shoots you a glance, but he shakes his head a little.

“Almost. But I imagine they’d use that argument too.” He swallows a bit. “Do you think so, too?”

You rest your arms behind your head as you think. “Kind of. But I know this is in your style. And I know how much of a pain in the ass these guys are. If someone’s helping you so you didn’t deal with them as much, then may as well focus on something more important. You don’t seem to be taking this ordination that seriously, anyway.”

Flynn laughs helplessly. “If you passed through Zaphias first, I’d be wondering if Lady Estellise told you something. It’s more that it isn’t something to throw a big deal about.” And there he goes again. His own ceremony. “At this point, the council can’t really influence who Master ioder can officially appoint a Commandant. That’s all there is to it.”

You can’t help feeling amused at the idea of those snobs gritting their teeth, knowing they’d continue dealing with Flynn, the stubborn mule, for years to come. Yeah, maybe the Empire’s left in really good hands. “But it feels like a ceremony wouldn’t be too necessary.”

“I’m not surprised you think that, actually.”

“Not for the reasons you think. Everyone back in Dahngrest thought you’re already the permanent choice.”

“Yeah, but things will change after the ordination.”

“You think? Your authority as Commandant isn’t going to increase from what you’ve told me before.” And that’s where Flynn shifts a bit, as if the way he’s laying in his armor is uncomfortable now.

“Yuri, how about the outfit you’ll wear tomorrow?”

“Hey, don’t change the subject.”

“But really now, I was relieved to hear you haven’t done anything to the clothes I gave you all this time ago. Lady Estellise hadn’t told me anything of their fate…”

“I still can’t believe you’re trying to push me to wear that! What’s with my current clothes?”

“Nothing bad, but I just want you to look good for tomorrow!”

“I look fine as I am-”

Poor Repede has to bark at you twice to get you to stop being so loud, and you decide to let it be, letting the conversation calm down into something less likely to spark anything between you and Flynn. Well, at least not in the argumentative sense. You didn’t realise you started shoving one another.

You look at Flynn again. He’s closed his eyes, humming a bit. It sounds familiar, but you can’t seem to put a finger on what the song is. Something about how nice his features look when the bastard isn’t being a pain passes through your mind, and you get an urge to raise your hand and brush some of his hair off his forehead. At least the signal of the ship nearing the docks is enough to distract you from unnecessary thoughts.

It’s still about early afternoon when you finally begin trekking through Illycia, but it would take about a few hours to get to the capital. Repede seems to be the liveliest after the boat trip, but he’s also the only one in the group who got any sleep in. You let him run ahead, and he occasionally stops just far enough to still see you and Flynn, waits for you to catch up, and then runs some more.

By now you know that there’s something up with Flynn.

You take another good look at him, from head to toe. Flynn seems to notice, but doesn’t question you.

You’d think he knows by now why Ioder chose him to do what Alexei couldn’t, there’s no time to wallow in self-doubt…! It isn’t even a matter of succeeding previous Commandants, but carving out a new path to go far and beyond. Is he still reluctant in his abilities as a knight? He’s over some unfamiliar superiors trying to get under his skin, you’ve seen firsthand that he can handle any insult thrown at him.

But it could be that Flynn is that uncomfortable with being in the limelight. Not to mention the way he’s humble to a fault, it’s hard to get him to accept any praise. Back before Zaude came crashing down, he noted how it isn’t even his praise to accept. Isn’t it why he and Ioder tried to give you some official recognition in the first place?

Is Flynn talking to anyone about his doubts at all? Because he sure as hell doesn’t tell you a single thing. He could bother to write more beyond typical pleasantries in his letters to you.

And even though walking usually gets your mind off of things, your concern doesn’t leave. The closer Zaphias gets, you feel even more annoyed. Not only did Flynn (likely) internalise another set of self-deprecating statements, that you still don’t know how to force out of him, but a form of dread took hold of you, because you really don’t want to be dealing with any of this. Your grip on the cloth holding the sheath of Second Star tightens.

And it’s probably because you tuned out of the conversation at some point, but Flynn now squeezes your shoulder. “Yuri, are you listening at all?”

You’re suddenly hyper-aware of both his gloved hand on you, as well as the phantom feeling of your nails having dug into the palm of your own hand.

“Sorry. I was thinking again. What were you saying?”

Flynn, thankfully, moves his hand away, and continues. He keeps an eye on you. “I was telling you about tomorrow.”

“Actually, is it necessary for me to even be in the castle the entire time?” You spit this out without a thought.

“What? Of course you need to be there for most of it. That’s one of the reasons I invited you.”

“No, but see, can I just sneak in and out at certain intervals, so I’d be there only when I’m really needed? I would have much more fun being near fellow commoners and stuffing my face with non-snobbish foods.” You sound angrier than intended.

“Yuri, what are you on this time? You have a reason to be at the ceremony!”

“And what is it, to have some assholes gawk at my being there while they make Ioder’s position official?”

“Is that what’s bothering you?” There’s a pause you almost miss. “No, I actually need-”

“I don’t want to hear what the reason is.” Flynn shuts his mouth then, stupefied, before his face looks less surprised, and more frustrated. You can’t hold back. “Just out with it already, Flynn. Something’s bothering you, not me. Focus on your own problems, for a change.”

He almost says something, but instead looks past you.

“Wait, Yuri.”

It annoys you, so you raise your voice to get him to look. “No. You clearly want to talk now, so let’s do that now!”

“There’s monsters!” He shoves you, to run past you, and you finally turn to notice a horde of said monsters running from the direction you came from. Flynn strikes the one leading the charge. Repede barks in alert too, and rushes into the group beyond you. You have a weird sense of deja vu.

Fighting off some wild boars isn’t entirely unusual, but there sure are a lot of them. You strain yourself beyond your limit to push them aside with your artes. Maybe this is the spirits’ messed up way of telling you not to start fights in the fields.

You dig into your bag to grab another orange gel… only to see you have none left. You curse under your breath, and slash at another boar charging at you. You realise that Flynn’s speed in casting Holy Lance and Mistral soul has considerably lessened, which means he is also out of gels.

And a quick look at Flynn tells you that he’s looking pretty bad already. In order to pave an escape plan, you need to get him to stop casting altogether. You try to yell at him to get a move on, into a direction that diverges a bit from the path to Zaphias.

Not that this works. Repede howls from behind, and you realise that Flynn got surrounded. A boar must have hit him while trying to move, because now he’s resorted to slashing at them with just a sword. He’s barely able to raise his shield.

To hell with these boars. Repede is already taking on the attack a few feet away from Flynn, but neither of them are able to attentively keep in mind the one coming from behind him. Another slash like this could end fatally, and this isn’t where Flynn Scifo should fall. This is where you come in.

“Flynn, stay still!” You yell out hoarsely, and plant yourself by his back and block with your sword. The boar jabs right into your arm and growls fiercely in your face, but you’re hardly bothered by the burning sensation. You punch the ground, shouting out “Destruction field!” from which the boars are sent flying, then crashing into the ground.

There is one monster left standing, but you make no move for it, being at your limit now. You hear Repede’s running, and as expected, he lands the definitive blow. Good boy…

A pair of hands clutch at you before you fall to your knees. At least Flynn minds the arm that got the worst of it.

“Hey, good job, Commandant. Anywhere hurt?”

“Stay still.”

“Flynn, it’s fine. Just hand me a gel.”

“We don’t have any gels.”

“Shit.” You knew that already. “I can cast Guardian Field-”

“You are not using a sword in this state.” Flynn moves to sit you down, and that’s when you realise how close he is to you. The warmth his arms bring out almost makes you forget how much your arm hurts. You watch him double-check his bag again, but there’s no use in that, it’s clearly empty. Repede noses over to sit as well, on alert, in case any newcomer monsters want a round.

With this proximity, you can sense Flynn growing frantic long before it gets apparent on his face. At least he doesn’t look too upset. “We can just wait until the bleeding stops. I’ve had worse.”

“Just let me treat you.” A small, shaky breath. “Divine favour upon you.” Magic focuses around you all, and you can’t even protest, before he says the word. “Cure!”

Magic reinvigorates you, your arm in particular, until nothing hurts anymore. Your vision clears, and it’s Flynn who crumbles, dropping the sword you didn’t even notice he was still holding.

It takes you a second to process what just happened. “What the hell, Flynn! We don’t have gels!” And now it’s your turn to hold onto him, and shit, he looks worse than you thought. You lay him down, so he could at least stop feeling so tense in your arms. “You’re not Estelle, you’re barely able to cast without a blastia!”

“It’s fine, Yuri.” He smiles at you, and that fact infuriates you.

He’s leaning on you as he lays, close to losing consciousness, maybe more, and he looks anything but fine. That fact infuriates you.

“What will everyone say if you died here? Don’t waste your energy when you’re expected back in the capital, asshole! The empire needs you!”

“Is that all there is to it? The empire needs me?”

There’s a beat. You feel like you almost missed it, even if you just saw the way Flynn’s expression dropped. “I can’t die, because the empire needs me?”

Something glasses in his eyes.

“The hell are you-”

“Am I really that irreplaceable…” His eyes are closing, but he’s struggling to keep them open. “That I can’t even…” Flynn is clutching a bit at his chest now, where his blastia would have been. Something in you says to at least take his hand, to guide it away from his heart, but you can’t find it in you to do so.

You can’t even say a thing. For the longest moment you feel like his eyes are piercing right through you, until his strength finally gives out, and he falls unconscious. The way his voice sounded just now is enough to haunt you in your next dream.

The silence that settles on the fields is uncomfortable, to say the least. Repede’s nudging forces you out of the blank state in your mind right now. You grab Second Star to cast Guardian Field, just in case.

If Flynn just let you do this in the first place, him passing out could have been avoided. He’s always putting himself in harm’s way, and for what?

“You’re not thinking rationally.” You hear yourself mumbling. You take off your cape, and drape it over Flynn’s body, just as the wind picks up. “You worry too much.”

At least Repede can watch your back while you can’t bring yourself to stay attentive. It’s less about being exhausted (because little by little, you feel your power coming back to you), but more about everything else about this.

While the fields and tall grass are the worst place to sleep in, Mayoccia plains offer some weird sense of comfort. It’s just the three of you in a large space, with the breeze being your only threat. At some point, you’ve moved Flynn’s head to rest on your lap, to at least reduce the risk of him catching a cold out here.

He’s still incredibly warm. Maybe armor does wonders to keep the heat in. Or maybe it’s his very determination burning strong. You focus on the sensation of Flynn’s hair on your fingers.

He feels so relaxed, for once. Maybe the things he said before passing out were part out of the sheer exhaustion he must be running on. The ordination got to him to such a point, that seeing you get roughed up a bit set him off and made his rationality slip.

But even something about that doesn’t sound right.

You look at how his chest rises and falls. Your eyes move to gaze at his face, and you can’t even bear looking at it for more than a few seconds. Guilt is catching up to you, knowing that snapping at him did nothing to help the situation. At what point is getting mad at him for his confidence in leading the knights justified, and at what point is it overdoing it? Are you any better than the very people that fed into Flynn’s insecurities to begin with?

Your hand continues brushing Flynn’s hair, however, and at least that gives you some clarity that he’s right here, where you left him to rest. That, for now, is good enough.

You finally distract yourself by talking to Repede. It helps pass the time.

Flynn eventually shifts to wakefulness on his own. “Yuri?” he looks up groggily, and you finally gaze into his eyes for the first time since what felt like ages. “How long was I out?”

“About an hour. Are you feeling better?” No, he isn’t.

“Just weird.” He gets up to move, and it doesn’t resemble the movement of a guy who had just passed out. That’s good news, for starters.

You need a moment or two to get up, because your legs fell asleep while waiting. It takes you three a bit to gather yourselves, and to continue the walk to the capital.

“Thank you.” You turn to look at Flynn offering you a smile, but you can tell it isn’t reaching his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m glad I can help.” You did not even comfort him.

But neither of you address it. As you go on, Zaphias gradually stops being a looming presence ahead of you. You’re still not used to seeing its barrier being absent, but otherwise it looks nearly the same as usual. The only actually notable difference is the way many knights are stationed to keep watch of any corner which could allow monsters to rush in.

By now, you’re finally approaching the gates to the Public Quarter. You hoped to at least go through the Lower Quarter, but it’s not like you can split up from Flynn now, because you both are headed for the castle.

Some knights are already saluting you like you’re some great hero, and the discomfort settles in again. Maybe you’re getting a taste of what it was like for Duke at least a decade ago. Or Raven, for that matter, when he would need to be present as Shwann. You wave at the guards. Maybe it would get them to drop the formalities with you. They wouldn’t be saluting you if you weren’t friends with their Commandant.

And once you do go in, the public stares begin almost instantly, but they’re less directed at you, and directed more at Flynn. You hear some whisper or two about you being so close to the Commandant, but only a few people manage to recognize you.

People pay attention to who you’re friends with. Sodia is (or was) a walking example of this. That Flynn is still friends with a criminal would mean it’s easy to bend and twist whatever good image he’s trying to keep with the council.

And maybe Flynn dreads dealing with the council tomorrow because of you. He knows he can’t change you. But then why go through the pain of having you here, especially after you rejected the title of “free paladin”?

...You rarely see the city get so busy out on the streets at this hour. The decorations and scent of feasts for tomorrow are indicative of how dedicated people are to making this day special. It makes you think back to the Lower Quarter, and how they must be preparing to celebrate too.

And the day after tomorrow, you’ll get to be on your own again.

Before you realise it, you reach the Royal Quarter. It’s significantly quieter than the rest of Zaphias, as usual. Flynn turns to look back at the stairs you came from. “I didn’t think the Public Quarter would be this excited.”

“Yeah, they seem to be in high spirits. I’d rather that than to hear them boo you the entire way.”

“I’m sure there’s some people that would gladly do that instead.” Flynn laughs.

“That’s to be expected. Didn’t you tell me some people failed to find fault in Alexei?”

A hum. You two continue walking, some knights salute you, and some nobles stop and stare, like they can’t mind their business. You ignore some of the looks they give you.

“Just let them be for now.” You say. “Some people can’t accept change, and that’s their problem.” Flynn hums again, but it sounds just as inattentive as the other one. It makes you turn to him. “Right?”

Flynn has been looking at you, troubled again, and it takes him a second to realise he’s caught staring. You give a confused look. He sighs and gives in.

“Sorry, Yuri. I was just thinking how everyone must be frustrated that we took so long.”

“They can wait a bit more. You’re not in charge of preparations, anyway.” And didn’t he leave of his own volition? If he’s so bothered by burdening Estelle and Ioder, he really should have just sent in Sodia or whoever to rush toward Aurnion’s general direction all night.

The opening and closing of castle doors is when the ringing in your ears finally comes to a halt. You don’t understand early celebrations.

“Oh, Flynn, you’re just in time.” a youthful voice says. “And is that Yuri I see? It’s good to have you here once more.” Ioder was just walking past the stained glass when you came in. He seems enthusiastic.

“Yo. I had to drag your workaholic Commandant all the way from Hipionia.” You say, and you already hear Flynn grumble in protest. “But take it easy on him, he needs a twelve-hour nap.”

Ioder chuckles, much to Flynn’s dismay. “I do appreciate the gesture. Please, make yourself comfortable. We have some matters to attend to with Flynn, but I believe Estellise is in the castle gardens, if you wish to see her.”

And that’s your next destination. You part ways with Flynn for now, who’s surely more than happy to get a breather away from your company. Repede stays back too, wanting to follow him around for once.

Decorum is all over the hallways. You do have to hand it to the staff here, working hard to make something out of ordination day.

And there’s still a dozen or so workers who are doing some wrap ups for today in the garden. Estelle is in the center of the cogwheel, offering her final input on things. It’s nice to see, she’s really having fun. Once she notices you, she even begins waving very ecstatically. That’s your cue to walk over to her, so she didn’t rush out of whatever she’s doing now. But that still doesn’t stop her from giving you a hug!

“It’s been so long!” You hear her exclaim. She must be exaggerating a bit, but hey, you do feel the sentiment too. You pat her on the head, your ribs aching a little once she lets go of you.

“It sure had been.” You take another look around yourself. “You’re really doing wonders here.”

“It’s just everyone’s combined effort coming to fruition. And we’re nearly done, too.”

“I can go over there” you point vaguely to some distant area of the garden, “and wait for you to wrap up. I’m not in a rush.”

“Sure!” She pauses, but then says: “Have you seen Flynn? He’s been gone since yesterday.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s in the castle now, we got here together. If you need to talk to him first-”

“No, it’s fine! I can see him later. I was worried, is all.”

At least that’s out of her head. You decide it’s best to let her finish up here, so you stroll over to the place you pointed at just now. Estelle shouldn’t take too long, but it’s gotten late enough that trying the clothes today would be pointless. You have the boars to thank for that.

You rest at the bench for some time, the left-and-right movement all over the garden being the one thing keeping your eyes open. The more you think about it, though, the more you realise that you actually have no clue of what the ordination will be like. You didn’t really pay attention when Flynn tried to explain to you.

Stretching a bit, your mind wanders back to Dahngrest, instead. You know that Harry got an invitation too, as is expected, but you’re the only guildsman outside of the Union that was invited. Karol, Judy and even Patty are too busy to come, but you wouldn’t be surprised to see Rita here. Last time you heard from her, she said she had better to do than play dress up for the capital, but knowing how persuasive Estelle is… Maybe she somehow is busy too, though. Out of everyone, Raven seems the likeliest to make an appearance for tomorrow. But he’d be keeping a distance, probably. You envy him.

You didn’t know you were dozing off, not until you snap your eyes open to Estelle calling out to you. She hands you what seems to be a warm sandwich, and you accept it gratefully. Hunger slipped your mind entirely.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting.” Estelle tells you.

“It’s fine. Flynn really left you with all the work.”

Estelle sits next to you on the bench. “Not quite, it was manageable. But I wanted to make sure we can handle everything going on tomorrow.”

“Damn, how long is this ceremony?”

“The ceremony itself? Not too long, I think. But most of the preparations we did today are for the celebrations afterwards.”

“Oh, right. The nobles’ party. Is that one mandatory?” Estelle laughs as you bite into the sandwich.

“It is mandatory. I don’t think you need to stay for all of it, but…”

“Let me guess, Flynn wants me to?”

She’s a bit surprised that you took the words out of her mouth.

“I already came all the way here, I may as well indulge in rich people's food. Flynn also supposedly had intent of showing me that new sleeping quarters of his. Have you been there?”

“Oh yes, it’s huge!” She gesticulates with her arms to emphasise. “Back when it was still Alexei’s, I was never allowed to wander there, not even in the hallway leading up to it. Flynn’s jaw almost dropped when we were finally granted access to clean it up... ”

Between Estelle’s dramatic retelling of the events, you manage to ask how she’s been, and how her writing’s been going. She says she only gets to sit down and add to her story when she isn’t travelling, but you imagine she still carries her journals around to note any ideas she gets.

With some convincing, she has you agree to get up at sunrise to get you dressed. “We could have avoided this if you came here sooner.” Estelle says. You don’t tell her why you were delayed in the first place. You don’t tell her you had intentions of skipping this altogether, either.

Repede eventually makes his reappearance, evading Estelle’s attempts at patting him for the nth time. You usher Estelle to go see Flynn, since he must be free now. Meanwhile, you decide to get some shut eye back in the Lower Quarter. Despite Estelle offering a room for you for the night, you don’t accept it. You don’t know when else you’ll be able to talk to everyone down there before you’d need to go back to Dahngrest again.

...You do feel like there is never enough time to catch up with everyone you don’t see for an extensive amount of time.

“Get it through your head, already! We’re happy just to hear from you!”

Hanks would say this to you each time you and Repede make way for the room that the Comet still keeps vacant for you.

You feel nostalgic just being here. You walk to the bed, toss your boots off, and lay down. Repede follows suit. The room is barren by now, you’ve long since packed the few things you had into a box that you left on the Fiertia. It’s all there until Karol actually picks a proper home for Brave Vesperia. But coming back like this is nice, too...

...Once again, it’s hardly dawn, but you still drag yourself out. The streets give you the weirdest feeling that it’s some calm before the storm.

There’s no need to be discreet, but it would be much faster for you to round the castle building, and scale a wall until you reach a window. You signal for Repede to just go through the doors. Now, Estelle’s room was around the second floor… Or maybe the third, the interior inside is so weird-

“Yuri.” Right behind you. “Just use the entrance, for once.”

“Morning to you too, Flynn.” You flash a grin at him. As you look at him you notice his getup: White pants, and a turtleneck. Wait, what?

There’s an uncomfortable pause, like Flynn expected you to say more. “Yuri?”

Your eyes meet. “You surprised me.”

“I guess I did.” He crosses his arms, but he doesn’t sound convinced.

“Why the hell are you up so early.”

“I was taking a stroll.”

“Unarmored?”

Flynn’s stare moves down to the side of his hip. You follow his gaze, and notice his sword, still there. “Oh.”

“I know it’s weird to see me without my pauldrons, but that doesn’t mean I come unprepared for ambush.”

“No, you look weirdly unprepared now. And I don’t get how you’re here just on time to stop me from scaling this wall.”

“Let’s say I had a hunch.”

“Weirdo. What will the poor nobles think of the oh-so-unsightly way you look?”

“Whatever it is, it would be their last chance of seeing me for what I am; a Lower Quarter plebeian.” Flynn states plainly.

“No way, you’re a plebeian even if they make you wear gold. Don’t forget your roots.”

He laughs. “At least I won’t have to worry about you looking so fancy that you forget your own. But you do need to get a move on. If you want to even stay for the event, you actually need a crash course on what to expect, and Lady Estellise has been racking her head on what to say, and what to omit.”

“If you let me scale, she can even tell me about the origins of ordinations.”

“We all know you hardly care about the origins. You are not scaling this wall.” You swear he’s almost taking a battle stance against you.

“I changed my mind, you’ll actually be the shittiest Commandant up to date.” You say dryly, which prompts Flynn to chuckle. “I can’t wait until the revolution of Zaphias happens.”

“Sure, Yuri. And I’ll wait for you to come back to the knights with open arms.”

“No way in hell.” You cringe, and you take it as your signal to just go.

You take a few steps away from the wall. Flynn watches warily, before relaxing. “Yuri, I suppose I’ll be seeing-”

Then you rush and make a jump for the wall, latching onto the bricks! You barely see the surprised look on Flynn’s face!

“Yuri!”

“Yeah, catch you later, Commandant!” Despite the continued protests, you scale the wall.

You dust yourself off, just as you neatly close the window. Upon looking, you realise a maid was staring the entire time. “Just another morning in Zaphias castle, right?”

“...No, not really.”

“I guess not.”

You make your way to Estelle’s room, in front of which Repede is waiting for you, diligently. You wait a few minutes like this. Once Estelle finally emerges, you realise that it’s been a while since you’ve seen her actually look like a princess. Though, this get-up is definitely not as regal as the clothes she wore back when you first met. Only a few strands of her hair are tied back, and they probably meet at the back of her head with some ribbon. It’s just in her style.

She has to stop you from barging into her room, and instead drags you away to where you’d supposedly have to change in. The way all these hallways look similar has you doubt if Estelle didn’t take at least one wrong turn on your way. She insists she didn’t.

One look inside this dressing room tells you everything: it’s too empty and yet, too pompous. You swear that Flynn should be repurposing places like this first, before he goes around changing the use of his own quarters.

“Estelle, was there no room that was closer, at least?” You deadpan, staring at yourself in the comically large mirror.

“I had to ask a maid to tell me about here…”

You look very unimpressed, and she can probably tell. “If you look on the bright side of it, we can stay here, until it’s time, and then we can use the shortcut to get to the throne room faster.”

“Did a maid tell you about that too?”

“No, Flynn did! Actually, Yuri, maybe we can have him come over and-”

“Let’s not.”

She sinks a little. “Why?”

“...He’s probably busy.” Given he hasn’t chased after you this entire time. “Look, let’s just get this over with.”

Estelle leaves it at that, as much as she probably doesn’t want to. She walks over to the single chair in this room, right by the divider. You notice your designated clothes folded there. “Here,” she says and lifts some belt, “Let me at least tell you about all the pieces you’re about to wear.”

“You really did your homework, huh.”

She glows even more. “Of course! I was preparing for this! Tell me, do you care about wearing this belt that you can attach your sword to?”

It wounds up being a long morning.

From the lengthy explanations, you get that you have to stay in one place. You weren’t tasked to do anything important, like you dreaded. Flynn made too much of a big deal out of this.

“It’s almost like it wouldn’t matter if I’m not there.” You sit on the chair, arms folded, while Estelle brushes your hair. The bored expression that you see in your reflection should be enough to give you some award.

“That’s not true, Yuri!”

“I’m joking. I wouldn’t want to waste your effort, for one.”

“We are very happy to have you here.” She smiles just as you feel her make through another knot in your hair, before brushing upwards. “I know it’s taking a lot from you to be here, so we really appreciate it.” She then carefully ties your hair up in a ponytail, not letting any strand run loose. She looks over it a bit, and it doesn’t feel uncomfortable, surprisingly.

Estelle takes a step to your right, taking a look at you through the mirror, probably to read your expression. She points to the mirror with her brush still in hand, and asks a simple question.

“How do you find the uniform?”

That prompts you to stand from the chair, finally examining yourself. You fold your arms for a bit, to get a feel for the fabric, then kneel to pick up Second Star, in the same way you always do. You’re staring back at your reflection.

You take a good long moment to think about it.

...But you don’t think it’s in your style. It’s not quite the type of comfort you embrace, a tad bit too comfortable, a tad bit too regal. By tying your hair back and brushing your bangs neatly, you make for a perfect fake. A knight in the heart, a knight in fabric you probably never thought you would wear yourself. Estelle said she did her best not to make the clothes wrinkle after all this time, ever since you caught her trying to stuff them in your bags long ago. It’s not like you would care if she did.

And no matter how much you protest, you are invited. Even if you try to remind yourself about how much you don’t fit in, it’s very apparent that you’re wanted there for one reason or another, amongst all these nobles who scoffed at you back then. Would they even recognize you like this?

“It’s just about what I expected it to be.” You say as you look at Estelle, offering a smile in order to ease her nerves. “But we’ve been here for a while. Isn’t it about time for us to go?”

She glances at the windows for a second, then looks back and nods. “I don’t think even Flynn would recognize you instantly.”

“I would only hope so.” You briefly wonder if disguises would have worked back when you were still wanted by the knights. “Hey, Flynn and Ioder are going to be overdressed too, right?”

“Absolutely.” Estelle says, as she leads you out of the room.

Even though you hoped to blend in better when dressed like this, you suppose walking with Estelle and Repede down the hallway is still a sight. Not that you want to bother unpacking all of the other reasons you’re being stared at. At this point, you may as well make a show out of it, they can’t insult you in your face with much that you haven’t heard before.

You don’t even know most of the faces that you pass by. You swear you even caught a glimpse of Sodia and Applehead at some point, but by the time you think about it, you’ve already made your next turn.That must mean Flynn is somewhere near...

But now you’re finally here. The throne room. You remember the first time you were here, when Alexei had taken over the castle. It wasn’t the best first impression. But hey, at least it looks different now.

Someone pushes from your side, complaining about how you stopped right at the doors. Estelle takes your left to guide you away, but something on your hand distracts her from making more than a few steps. “Yuri, your blastia...?”

“I think a lot of people still keep theirs.” You tell her. As she stares at it, it seems to you that she can’t find the words to express what’s on her mind. It’s a weird pause, it makes you look down to see if something happened to your blastia. But you only see the core, dormant as it has been.

Your eyes move back to Estelle, and you realise she isn’t wearing hers. She hadn't worn it yesterday too.

“I’m sorry, Yuri, I thought I saw something.” Another pause settles between you two.

“Let’s just go before someone else pushes me.” You say.

..At least Estelle is standing next to you for the ordination. As you look around, you notice a few other people wearing similar outfits to yours, standing around you, it’s probably some swordsmen, who are given a special title thanks to the Empire’s favour. Noone here even knows you.

Soon enough, the ceremony starts abruptly, or so you think it does. There’s some guy who announces the beginning, and more people emerge to stand around by the throne itself. Some hold items like scrolls. You realise that amongst them is the Fake Dein Nomos. Did Estelle suggest using that instead of prying the real one out of Duke?

It dawns on you how this entire thing really is going to drag on for a while. While these people read from the scrolls, you offer a scratch to Repede, or mess with your bodhi blastia, to try pass the time.

Things eventually do pick up, by having Ioder’s name finally be called for. It’s only then you notice that Ioder and Flynn are standing at the top of the staircase, waiting. Ioder walks down.

To you, he really does look overdressed. You have to suppress a chuckle, but the best way you can describe his appearance is that of a very stereotypical ruler from some storybook. While all of this must have been tailored for his size, it makes Ioder look relatively small instead.

Beyond that, you don’t dwell on Ioder’s appearance, because your eyes look for Flynn, still waiting to be called for.

He looks so serious, that you’d mistake him for a statue. He’s wearing the thing Drake gave him months ago. It’s very… well, it’s different. Armor wraps around him where you would see blue. It’s not something you’re used to. It’s clear that this is purely ceremonial, but you feel like such armor would be a waste not to use against monsters who pierce their victims with teeth or claws. You could ask Flynn what he thinks about that idea. The headpiece offers some support on his face, but it’s probably about as useless as going against foes without any helmet.

There’s a detail over his heart that keeps your eye transfixed on Flynn, but then you notice his blue eyes looking bright in stark contrast--

“In place of Dein Nomos, we shall present you, Emperor Ioder, with a counterfeit left by the late Commandant Alexei.” Ioder expresses his thanks as he accepts the sword.

Your focus settles down on the scene at hand.

But you think he looked back at you.

Your eyes hurt from staring up for so long. You rub at them a little, to get the irritation to stop, and some guy on your right scoffs.

And then it’s Ioder’s turn to offer some smart words he probably spent weeks thinking about. He looks bright, not unlike some of the paintings of previous Emperors you passed by earlier. How long would it take until people insist on painting him too? He’s only eighteen.

You at least figure out when to clap. Ioder looks over to where you stand, and Estelle claps louder. Once the noise calms down, he speaks again.

“I, Emperor Ioder Argylos Heurassein, call forth Captain Flynn Scifo.”

But the silence continues.

You look up, and see that Flynn is still. You can’t make out his facial expression. You hear murmurs.

You start to move, and Estelle grabs your arm. “No, Yuri!” She barely keeps her voice low.

You look at her. “Something’s not right.”

“Yes, so what of it?” Someone behind you speaks out. “That would be an example of the Emperor’s errors in choosing someone incompetent enough to mess up their own ceremony. Are you trying to instigate something?”

“Hey, you-” You try to move, but can’t, because Estelle holds on to you tightly.

Though the frustration bubbles in you, you hold your tongue. In the blur of it all, Ioder says something, but you don’t hear it. Iit passes through you, really. You focus your gaze on Flynn’s figure again, who has begun moving, suddenly. Was it in reaction to your commotion? Well, at least the whispers have stopped.

As Flynn goes down the stairs, it’s as if nothing went wrong in the first place. Eventually, you can see the face he’s making; it’s like he’s about to face off another serious foe. Something about it is very endearing, but you still can’t shake the feeling off that something’s wrong.

Before you know it, he is now facing Ioder, and bows. “I am here to serve.”

Further talking ensues, but you’re not paying attention. Every so often, Flynn offers a “Yes.”, as he is promising to do his duties. Protecting the people, commanding the knights. You’re suddenly reminded of the ten-year-old, who talked your ear off about how amazing the knights are. And from today, he will be the one to make them into something more than childish praise.

“Flynn Scifo, you are bestowed the position of Commandant of the knights, officially.”

“This is the highest form of honor, Emperor Ioder.” Flynn bows once more.

He faces the crowd of spectators, looking determined. He looks upon all spectators, and the scroll reader says something else. Flynn locks eyes with you, and this is when you nearly miss the round of applause.

Ioder speaks up again. “Now, everyone, we officially announce the celebrations of this glorious day. Please feel free to explore any location in the castle, so long its doors are open. Our staff is more than happy to assist you. As for the complimentary meals, they are in the gardens. I offer my warmest regards to Princess Estellise, who worked very hard to make this all possible.” Another round of applause happens. Estelle is very embarrassed over the sudden attention.

Though you would have initially taken it as your moment to leave, you instead walk forward. You take off so fast, that Estelle almost misses to follow right by you. There’s so many people, but you need to talk to him.

You finally reach him, and of course he doesn’t look like someone who had nearly flunked his own ordination. “Lady Estellise, Yuri.” He says, and somehow he’s still able to smile.

“Hey, Flynn, what was with that?”

Estelle instantly interjects. “Yuri, now is really not the time!” She’s right, but then...

“Can we go somewhere, to talk?” You stare at Flynn like something is about to happen, like an enemy is about to emerge and strike.

Flynn must be overwhelmed just by how suddenly all this is happening. He turns his head behind him, toward the door of the sword stair, and then looks back at you. He has his answer.

But before he can even say anything, someone else comes in to announce themselves.

“Flynn Scifo, my congratulations.” That’s when you finally see a pair of nobles, finally at Flynn’s side. “We are truly regretful, but we didn’t want the princess and... this person, to just whisk you away for the entire day! Everyone’s dying to talk to you.”

“Yes, my apologies…” Flynn bows.

He looks a bit helpless, so you decide to help him out. “Just go,” You say, surprising both him and Estelle. “We can talk later. Enjoy the party.” You start walking, or maybe it’s Flynn who is getting pulled away.

“Yuri, I’m sorry.” Estelle says, apologetic. “I suppose that was the price for him not being here yesterday.”

“Not much that can be helped with. Let’s just pass the time for now.”

The day ends up long, agonizingly so. As you pass through the hallways, Estelle notes how there are more people present here, not just the ones who were at the ceremony. The newcomers would be the type to be here to look good, you imagine.

Whenever Estelle herself would get pulled aside for conversations of her own, you had the bad luck to exchange insults with a few nobles, who recognized you through your disguise. While they do their best to get under your skin, with things ranging from your origin to your ties to Flynn, you don’t retaliate. Ideally, you wanted to, but after your stunts earlier, you want all this to end sooner.

You couldn’t shake off wanting to see Flynn again, anyway. You know he’s barely managing the day, and the way he did not move earlier kept replaying in your mind, no matter how much you tried not to think about it.

You wonder if you should have pushed harder to talk in private as soon as the ceremony ended, but a voice in you reprimands you for even entertaining such a thought.

In the tail end of the afternoon, you and Estelle make it to the gardens, to grab a bite of some of the efforts from the castle cooks.

“At least this is the only big event I’ll ever have to attend.”

Estelle looks at you curiously. “What about any other big occasion in the future?”

“We’ll get there when those happen. Let me have this for now.” You take a bite out of this amazing pudding cup, and Estelle chuckles.

“I did not think I would need to seek you out again, Yuri Lowell.” Someone suddenly says. You know exactly who this voice belongs to. You open your eyes to peer at her.

“Hey. Did I do something again?”

Sodia pinches the bridge of her nose. “No. Just listen for once. I came here to ask why you haven’t approached the Cap-” she corrects herself, “the Commandant. Are you avoiding him again?”

“Does it look like I am? I’m just waiting for my turn, until he can talk to me.” You don’t want to tell her it would take you one rash decision to go look for him. A question comes to mind, instead. “Did he send you after me himself?”

“No, he did not. But he would mention you whenever I could exchange words with him.” She crosses her arms, very clearly displeased. “Just go find him. You typically always distract him enough to make time for you.”

Flynn’s problem is exactly that he always makes time for you.

You munch on another spoonful of pudding.

“I hope you at least consider what I had to say. Princess Estellise,” she bows to Estelle, “I hope you have a splendid evening.” Estelle offers her a thanks, and Sodia exits the gardens nearly as quickly as she came.

Estelle breaks the silence that was threatening to settle. “Yuri, she is right. You’re leaving tomorrow.”

“You make it sound like I am actively avoiding him.” You rise from where you were sitting. You set the finished pudding aside. “But fine, I’ll get going now. I should at least let him make fun of my get-up.”

You look at her pointedly, and she almost misses the beat to respond. “Oh, don’t worry about leaving me here! See, what if Repede stayed with me?”

You turn to Repede, questioning him on this sudden decision. But he surprises you by walking over to Estelle, staying closer than usual to her. Estelle didn’t expect this herself, because she looks like she’s about to tear up from joy.

“Then I’ll go. I know where he might be.” You get up, and you make an exit from the gardens. You turn back to Estelle, to offer a final wave to her.

It’s still full of people around, but it at least makes you look less suspicious than what you seem. You hope Flynn bothered to eat something today, if he ever made his way to the gardens in the first place.

While wandering, you pass by one of the dining halls at some point. You peek in, just in case.. But you don’t linger for more than a few seconds. You swear you caught a glimpse of Harry and the old man, drinking there, but you have no reason to idle time away any longer than you have.

The throne room by now is nearly entirely vacant. That doesn’t concern you, as you see that the doors to the Sword stair are open.

The breeze is gentle, even at the top of the capital. The sky is dyed orange, illuminating everything golden. You didn’t realise the sun began setting. Below you, everything is lively, still bustling in its festive activities.

Not that you can hear anything. Only your footsteps break what is otherwise a perfect silence. By the time you reach Flynn, you see him sitting, observing Zaphias. You almost don’t recognize him.

“Hey, did I keep you waiting?”

Flynn spares you a glance. “Yuri…”

He gestures for you to come over, and you comply. You sit next to him. There’s a silence, as you both watch the sky gradually change colors. The gold becomes pink, soon enough.

“Part of me didn’t think I’d see you today.” Flynn says suddenly.

You glance at Flynn’s direction. “Was I not supposed to show up?”

Flynn’s gaze is still fixed at the clouds, which have begun losing their puffy whiteness, letting colors wash over them. The way he’s been sitting isn’t what you’ve come accustomed to, it’s very casual. You look at his legs, nearly entirely wrapped in white armor and black pants.

“I had my own assumptions. Especially after yesterday.” He pauses for a moment, to take a good look at you again. “But you were at the ceremony.” And you are here now. “I want to thank you for coming.”

You’re searching for something in his eyes, but you alone can’t put a name on it.

Thank you for coming. For me.

But he doesn’t say that. Why do you think he would?

You notice how Flynn’s left fist unclenches. Even in the presence of such a view, he still can’t relax. Not that you can blame him, given that you’re pretty sure that “I’m the source of your problems.”

“Now you’re spouting nonsense, you know.” His tone sounds anything but harsh.

“Then was being frozen at the ceremony related to whatever you’re not telling me?”

Before you know it, Flynn’s entirely looked away again, uneasy. Uncomfortable, almost. His eyes reflect the sunset in such a way, that words fail you instantly. You look back to the sky too, letting out another exhale.

Eventually, Flynn starts again. “Seeing you at the ceremony made me very relieved. You even went through all the hassle to look so…”

“Fancy?”

“Maybe that’s not the word for it.” He smiles. “And no, I’m not going to scold you about the stunt you almost tried then.”

“You still bothered to mention it.” You don’t mean to sound bitter, but Flynn still laughs in response. Though, he sounds melancholic.

“I know at least some things won’t change.” He says, quieter. He looks down again, you can tell that he’s trying to push some thoughts deep down, never to come out.

But you don’t want to let him wallow in this any further. There’s been an underlying thing all along, that even you failed to notice. If you leave it for when you can talk to Flynn again, putting off important conversations, and instead keep up whatever narrative your lettered correspondences paint, will he ever be able to say anything?

“Flynn. Mind showing me your new room?”

He agrees to it. Probably because he realised he can’t back out now. Or maybe Sodia was right, and he was waiting all day for you to ask him. Regardless, he offers his hand to yours, and he does not let go of it for the entire way to his room. You don’t make the effort to pull it away, either.

You reach the hallway Estelle told you about, and you’re not surprised that there are no guards here.

“I thought the Commandant’s room would have some security here?”

Flynn’s hand is on the door’s handle. He says it so softly, you almost miss it. “I dismissed them, when I was officially appointed to this room.”

And then, the door is open.

You take it all in.

Somehow, you expected something much more refined. Maybe it was before, but Flynn and Estelle tried to make something out of the otherwise barren state of this room. You can pick out where Estelle intervened, design-wise.

But the first thing you really take note of is the bed itself. You walk over to it, and it doesn’t look any smaller up close. It’s probably the only one that you (and Flynn) would ever see in your lives. How would it feel to sleep on a bed you can’t fill on your own?

You turn to the right side of the room. It seems to have been repurposed to function as Flynn’s personal office. There’s a bookcase here, presumably with everything he would need to do his work. That would spare most visits to any of the libraries, probably.

Turn your head the opposite direction, and you see shelves that hold personal belongings. You recognize a few things from back when you were kids. At the same time, all these items barely take up any space, and most of the shelves have yet to serve their purpose here.

Instead of approaching the few shelves that hold any memories, you make your way to the desk. Clean, spotless. No paperwork out of place.

“How does it feel here?”

“It feels like a Commandant’s bedroom should feel, I think.” If Flynn actually worked on making this room as personal as he could, then he instead made this section of the castle look very unwelcome, and lacking in life.

Your hand glides over the surface of the table. Even the very sensation of it against your fingertips tells you it’s the expensive kind of woodwork.

You look at Flynn.

“I was very happy, when I could travel with you all,” he suddenly admits. “Looking back to those times made me remember that I lack the capability to travel. Not like I used to.”

“It’s not like you are always going to be here. There will be times when you’d need to personally get involved.” Though you recount that Alexei himself did not travel as often either. “And hey, who said you need to stay here all the time?” Especially given that it looks so lonely.

“I can just send other knights to do what I used to do. Or at least, that’s what the council says.” Yesterday’s conversations resurface, but you wait for Flynn to gather his thoughts. “Recently, Raven visited me. He wanted to give me a warning.”

“About what, the council?”

“He saw first-hand how much Alexei was struggling with doing anything. Raven told me about the actions Alexei resorted to doing, out of others’ sights. Because otherwise, the council would...”

You instantly notice how frigid Flynn’s getting. “Hey, come on, didn’t you tell me once that you’re willing to endure their stubbornness? You told me it’s fine.”

“I know what I said! I just…”

“You have the allies needed to help you. You are not fighting on your own. And you do have the authority to oppose them now. Isn’t that enough?”

“No, it’s not. You know that yourself, Yuri.” Flynn steps closer to you, and there’s a certain glint in his eyes that you swear you last saw years ago. “We came to the knights to invoke change, but I didn’t think…”

You grab Flynn’s shoulders. “Didn’t think what?”

He pushes your hands away, and walks toward the window, the one by the shelves.

You find yourself impatient, again. “Don’t tell me you’re listening to what some older people say about you. You’re not going to become like Alexei.”

Flynn continues staring out the window.

You speak louder, to try to get his attention. “If you believe in the people who put their trust in you, then you won’t die without accomplishing nothing.”

“But if I die, no one else can take on the Commandant position like I have, right?”

“What?”

“That’s what you mean, right?” He turns around, and it just now dawns on you just how exhausted Flynn looks.

From the window, you notice that the sun has set.

And Flynn continues, barely containing his voice. You both know no one would hear him here. "I can’t even protect those who matter to me. I can’t exert myself to my limits, I can’t take injuries, even if it’s for the ones I want to protect. Am I expected to just let everything happen by me?”

“Do you even hear what you’re saying? Is this just a fucked up way to tell me that you want to die?!” You don’t realise when you started moving toward Flynn, but soon enough, you’re facing him directly. You’re withholding the urge to grab him again.

“I’m saying that I’m just me, Yuri! I don’t want to be the Commandant behind the desk, overseeing everything! I… I’m not an untouchable beacon. And I’m not a hero to die for.”

Protest rises from deep within you. “Then why do you act like you’re going to barricade yourself here come tomorrow?”

“Because I want to at least work hard enough, to make up for the praise I know I don’t deserve. That I took what was meant for you and Brave Vesperia is already too much for me. You alone said that it doesn’t matter who does good for the people. And I wish it didn’t matter to me, because I just want to do what I can for everyone’s sake.”

Before you can respond, Flynn breathes in, and continues.

“But a lot of people began insisting that my place is not on the battlefield, that I shouldn’t chase some blastia thieves, or personally oversee whether everyone outside Zaphias has housing. That I’ve done enough already, that I don’t need to focus on things a knight should be doing to begin with!”

Flynn rubs at his face, and the gloves seem to irritate him more than help him calm down. He exhales harsher.

“And I miss traveling, Yuri, I miss doing what I have grown accustomed to doing. That’s part of my oath as a knight.” You feel as if Flynn is trying to laugh here, but laughter itself doesn’t come. “Maybe there’s something childish lodged deep inside. I don’t even understand it myself.”

You find yourself grasping to understand.

“I’m regarded as a hero, when I know I am not one. The most of what I’ve done the past few months, is argue with people who think the most vile things about the civilians I swore to protect. But I can’t even protect them directly now. No, I never could.”

He places his hand over his chest. There, his own dormant blastia remains. You look at Flynn’s hand. You can sense the blood trickling down your left.

“Yesterday, I could heal you. I felt like I was doing something for someone, and seeing the result with my own eyes!” The grip over his chest tightens. “But then you said that the empire needs me. Because my purpose lies in whether or not I’m useful enough. And I know that by holding the thoughts I have now that I...”

His shoulders shake, and that is when the weight Flynn Scifo has been holding on his shoulders begins crashing down.

It feels as if some of the weight itself is stuck in your throat, not allowing you to say a word. You’re frozen still, when Flynn, The Commandant, is completely open to any attack. You want to move your hands.

You want him to stop saying things.

“I invited you to come today, because I wanted to see you.” He makes a sound, and dread clutches your pounding heart. “I wanted to see you, to know that I’m not alone. I… I wasn’t even conscious of it.” You can’t bear that he’s still looking at you so softly.

You know you cannot comfort him.

“Yesterday, I thought we were together like old friends, just you and I, Yuri. Not as a Commandant and a civilian.”

“Flynn…” Your hand threatens to move.

“I want to be myself. I need to feel like I’m still me...”

You catch him, before his knees hit the floor. And he holds on to you as he cries, because he needs you.

...

You don’t keep track of time passing. The room eventually is submerged in darkness, all illuminated only by the moonlight through the window. That’s when you take Flynn’s hand, and guide him from the floor to the bed. You help him rid of all the armor on him, but it’s mostly Flynn taking it off, really.

And all that hides under it… is Flynn himself. The same Flynn you saw this morning.

“I bet you can at least breathe for once.” You remark. Flynn chuckles softly.

You try to send him to the bathroom (whose door you didn’t even notice earlier), so he can change into sleepwear. But before Flynn leaves, he walks to the wardrobe instead, and opens it.

“I don’t want to force you to stay.” He sounds hoarse after all the crying, but that doesn’t stop him from talking. “But I know that it’s too late to find Lady Estellise, in order to get your usual clothes back. You’re free to borrow something for tonight, and return it to me later.”

“Sharing things like the old times, huh? You don’t need to be so serious about that.” At least saying that provokes Flynn to smile.

“Still, I wouldn’t know when I’ll see you again. You leave tomorrow-”

“I’m here now. Do you want me to stay here tonight?”

The question surprises him. But maybe deep down, he was hoping to hear it.

You watch him drift off to sleep. You know that you cannot comfort him, but the warmth and clamminess of his hand in yours makes you believe that just being here is enough.

#tales of vesperia #fluri #yuri lowell #flynn scifo #writing tag

9 notes · View notes