#its always people whove never had any experience with abuse too

[girlwithfish]

i dont want to give advice where it’s not wanted, but i also got out of an abusive relationship a little over a year ago. we had been together for a loonnngg time. everything that i had gone through i had pushed to the back of my mind while we were in the relationship, and i only started to finally process it after i broke it off. i got into a relationship pretty soon after, and the only reason that it worked for both of us is because my partner cares so deeply about helping me process that. they let me talk about it whenever it comes into my brain and they dont push me to move on any faster. it took a long time, but i actually finally have processed pretty much everything and now i feel a lot better. all of this is to say, i think that guy is kind of an asshole (no offense hahaha). again, really dont want to give unwarranted advice, but i have been in your exact shoes and i know how it feels post-abusive ex. you should either take some time for yourself to heal, or if you are interested in dating which is just as fine, seek out people that genuinely want to help you. you never have too much baggage for someone that cares about you, and they should always be a safe place to discuss that kind of thing. i just genuinely think you deserve that kind of treatment because you remind me so much of myself 🫂

thank u so much for sharing, its really helpful to hear from people whove been thru abuse too honestly because of how isolating the whole experience can feel. i am so happy for u that u were able to heal and process congrats babe! and really happy u found someone who could be there for u.. i think thats what i really need too and i keep making excuses and justifications for when the person im with fails me or disappoints me or doesnt understand me but idk i think i should take his behavior this early onto a relationship at face value and not try to fix it or attempt to ammend things >_> like hes showing me who he is and how he's going to handle my feelings if i go forward and idk! thank u 4 ur insight i agree about the safe place and the right person will not make me feel this way. love u lots!!!

[madisonrooney]

oh im a week late but i meant to make a follow up post about the l&m props i got so here

im still not gonna delve into it too much for privacy reasons (but fr dm me if you wanna know i dont mind telling people individually at all) but yah i now am the owner of several props from liv and maddie and like....

i knew this before. its just that this whole experience has reminded me that just...

liv and maddie is just IT for me. it is THE perfect hyperfixation/special interest/fandom etc and its amazing that thats still the case almost 5 years since its ended. ive had a lot of amazing hyperfixations throughout my life but they often had one fatal flaw, were all in all good but just werent as intense as others, or something along those lines. but man....l&m is and was all i couldve ever wanted and i am so fortunate for that.

before l&m and since, ive wanted to be involved in a show’s fandom. maybe not actively interacting with people or making content, but being up to date on all the jokes and memes, the hype over new announcements, etc. no other show has quite clicked for me in the same way. either i just couldnt get into it enough or i forced myself to act more into it than i actually was. nothing really hit the nail on the head, but l&m did.

i kept up with the crew on social media, had inside jokes about them and the show itself, kept up with all the announcements, even the smallest ones, every last still that would come out from every ep, etc. and it was just so GENUINE, which i feel like i haven’t felt on anywhere near the same level since. that may seem like a weird thing to acknowledge, but its just that feeling of desperately wanting a hyperfixation that just clicks for you, and if nothing does, you have to find something you love just enough and practically force a hyperfixation out of it bc youre desperate to feel something. its no fun. l&m just had it. the insane amount of joy i got out of every little thing it gave me is unmatched. not only was it something i desperately needed as i was still recovering from my abusive relationship when it started, but even when that was far behind me, it still felt so so good.

it felt that good long before i met the cast, went to tapings, etc. i never couldve anticipated that, and i wouldve been more than happy even if that never happened. but that just skyrocketed it to another level, something i didnt expect to have with ANY of my fandoms.

and at the same time i made a....friend bc of dove?? and we went to all these things together and made up inside jokes and headcanons and??? it was just so good???

and even now, long since the show has ended, im still benefitting from it. id also always dreamt of being one of those people whos just KNOWN for being obsessed with this one thing and to the point where they know the cast and crew, own props from the show/movie, etc. i see people in other fandoms whove done that and ive always been a bit jealous, not knowing what id have to do to get there but hoping i was worthy of it. im not as active on social media that the cast and crew are actually ON so that made it less likely to happen, but ive never been the type to put myself out there and ask for things like that. even so, i didnt even have to do that for things to work out the way i wanted, and im so so grateful for that.

this has become a little rambly bc i meant to make this post last week and have probably forgotten some of what i was gonna say so im just going on now but hopefully you get the gist.

#tw abuse