#it's this desperate awful terrified stabbing him until he's absolutely sure that Cazador is gone and will never get up again

[arrowpunk]

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#ramblings of an arrow #had a FUN realization about why Astarion's story in BG3 means a lot to me and like also really fucks me up(in a good way) #and I am having a normal one in this chillis tonight #processing emotions on main tonight #simply there's some Astarion dialog that only happens if you choose some really awful dialog options #where he says something along the lines of 'I didn't know how to say no' #or 'I didn't think I could say no' #or something like that #and I justttt #they wrote it really well #how they dealt with his specific kind of trauma #and it fucks me up man #because hahahaha mood #it's... it's honestly so fucking cathartic to watch Astarion kill Cazador #like that whole scene is so tragic and awful but so cathartic b/c it's done so well and it feels so real #how he just starts sobbing right afterwards #and like it doesn't feel triumphant it just feels desperate #and how Astarion's whole motivation throughout the game is how scared he is of Cazador #and how when he kills Cazador it isn't like badass or cool or anything #it's this desperate awful terrified stabbing him until he's absolutely sure that Cazador is gone and will never get up again #like you can argue that it's overkill but honestly no that's fear and desperation right there #the desperate need to be free and know that they can never ever touch you again to know that you won't constantly be haunted by them #for the rest of your life #like fuck man I Get It #I fucking get it