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lostarrowsbook · 2 years

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Should I let my Significant Other know I struggle with Anxiety?

Sharing this thought with one’s significant other certainly on the surface may not seem like a masculine or provide the protective image that a man might want to portray. And it could definitely cause strain on a relationship as one’s mate may feel insecure or threatened by the possibilities. So do we as men share or do we do the normal manly thing and operate without instructions? If we decide not to share and self delegate and designate, the following is the question we have to address. That question is, can we use our anxiety to build character and resilience? The other thing we may wonder is how big of a problem is this? Am I one of the few that is battling this anxiety disorder? and actually it is a magnanimous problem. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, these are the statistics of those who have officially been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder in the US alone. 19.1% of all adults in the US or over 40 million people have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Seven percent of children have been officially diagnosed. This clearly doesn’t account for the overwhelming cases that are not reported or diagnosed. When you put this into perspective it’s no wonder we have little to no peace in the world. Yet there are experts, experienced and exposed individuals who believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel to a place of better character while strengthening one’s resilience along the path.

S.E. (Scott) Huffaker, the author of the newly released book “Lost Arrows -Coping With The Death of a Child” is an advocate and proponent for pushing thru the anxiety to become a more functional you! In his book Scott shares his story of how his son who was 32, unexpectedly passed away in August of 2021. And he credits past experiences of not being able to see his son for years on end due to custody issues as helping him to learn how to deal with his son’s absence. The pain, anxiety, fear, dread and uneasiness that he encountered for almost half of his son’s life had to be dealt with. He had moved on from his divorce and had a wife and two other children that he needed to support. Scott believes that grief can be somewhat of a deeper level of anxiety. A person dealing with grief has those same feelings of fear, dread and uneasiness. In his book he shares how cultures and those in times past dealt with death, grief and the emotions involved. In the rest of his book he presents a menu of items that one can utilize to become that more functional you.

The following are some of those ideas that he shares and as he is writing his new book he shares some things that he has found that even catapult that level of wellness to a higher plane of peacefulness.

In Scott’s view, building character and resilience in the face of anxiety condenses down to these three things:

Attitude

Perspective

Action

He utilizes these two acronyms of the word anxiety to demonstrate how important attitude and perspective are:

NEGATIVE

A nixous

N ervousness

Xenophobic – in that one becomes so self absorbed in their anxiety others are perceived as foreigners.

I nsecure

E ager – no sense of peace or calmness

T ense

Y obbish – aggressive and lashing out at others due to the internal struggle

POSITIVE

A ffirmative – confident, strong minded

N owness – operating in the now, knowing this is the only time we have control over

X anadu – mentally & emotionally in an idyllic, peaceful, happy & magnificent place

I ntelligent – one feels intelligent and accomplished for mastering their emotions

E nthusiastic – every moment is an adventure

T imely – because one understands what’s important now

Y are – sailing the seas of life, our ship is easily manageable

Per Scott, we can choose at any given moment which of these above perspectives to embrace.

He further lays out several other actions, mindsets and maps to migrate.

Mindfulness – this is accomplished by having a nowness mindset and properly managing our time with timeblocks along with other tools.

Affirmations – paired with prayer and/or meditation to help one stay on task throughout the day.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy – in his book he lays out one method, yet there are several books and methods that are available for one’s preferences.

Sleep habits – getting the proper rest one needs is mandatory for mental wellness

Dietary habits & Exercise – what we consume and what we do with what we consume dramatically affects how we feel physically and emotionally. Having a balanced regimen in this area will help us escalate our wellness.

Tuning into your mind – Scott states that the #2 book that he believes everyone should read now is “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer. Understanding your conscious state and awareness versus the mind (your onboard computer) is imperative in managing your emotional state. It is this prescription that will truly elevate one to a higher level of peace and satisfaction.

In the end our mental wellness, relief from anxiety, building character and becoming more resilient many times hinges on our choices. Do we choose to be better or do we settle in where we are presently? That is the ultimate question!

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mavwrekmarketing · 7 years

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Want to call your senator or U.S.representative to let them know where you stand on an issue, but dont have the time to hunt down their phone number, wait on hold, or continually redial to get past the busy signals? A new app called Stance aims to help. Instead of simply providing a way to call your reps, as many apps today do, Stance lets you pre-record your voice message to be left on the reps voicemail when the phone lines are freed up.

But wait!, you ask. Dont congressional staffers answer the phones? How is Stance going directly tovoicemail to play yourmessage on their machine?

Simple. It only places the calls at night, so voicemail is sure to pick up.

The initial idea for the app came from Nathaniel Teichman, COO at a small audio startup called Ense, from Venmo co-founder Iqram Magdon.

Teichmanexplains he was inspired to build Stance after attending a political rally and hearing about the frustration people had when trying to call their reps.

At the same time I was reading and hearing more and more about the importance of calling Congress, he says. I thought there must be a better way for people to get through so I met with a few coworkers and we realized we were in a position to come up with a better solution.

The coworkers spent the next few weekends working on the app, which works on top of Twilio. They mapped out the call trees for each representatives office, so the calls can get through. The app also uses Enses API to record, store and post the audio which is why Stance is now an official company project within Ense.

Using Stance is pretty simple. The app uses your location to identify who your representatives are, including both House reps and Senators. Youre then taken to a screen where you can record your message.

The app doesnt have a political agenda. Instead, it offers basic how to instructions that remind you to say your name and location, tell the rep how you stand on the issue and what you want them to do, and it suggests that you make your recording personal.

The recordings are saved until after hours then sent to the reps voicemail.

However, there is one big caveat to using Stance: it publicizes your recordings. (The app discloses this during the sign-on process, so its not a surprise.)

Your recordings are published to Stances website and theyre tweeted atthe rep on Twitter, the company says.

The latter is meant only as another way of getting the reps attention, but tweets are not officially counted as outreach. However, many representatives have been overwhelmed with phone calls during the Trump presidency, and their voicemails remain full sometimes, intentionally. Tweeting at least gives you another means of having your voice heard.

Of course, not everyone wants to have their messages made public especially since they are leaving their full name and location. But at this time, theres no option to set a voice messageto private, which is something of an oversight.

That could dampen Stances potential usefulness for thosewho dont want their political leanings to be publicized, or who want to share their thoughts on touchy issues more privately.

For example, if you were reaching out regardingyour reps position on healthcare, you might want to makeyour messagemore meaningfulby sharing your own struggles with health issues and discuss how the current system, the Affordable Care Act, has impacted your life. And you might not want that message posted publicly on the internet.

One of Stances co-creators, and Enses Head of Product, Ashwinn Krishnaswamy,pushes back on the privacy concerns, saying that the public blowback hasnt been as great as we thought. Thats not entirely true, though many of theinitial App Store reviews are from people who dont like the apps public nature.

Krishnaswamy says that the team is still gathering feedback about the private versus public nature of Stances, however.

Stance is a free download for iOS or Android.