#it's easier over the internet?? i think bc i can reel in my ??? whatever's wrong with me??

[semercury]

you know for someone with social anxiety i sure to talk too fucking much.

#stuff sarah says #tho honestly idek what a normal amount is #honestly i probably talk less than average #i just assume it's too much from me bc it's me? #and no one would ever want to hear from me?? #at least in person. idk #it's easier over the internet?? i think bc i can reel in my ??? whatever's wrong with me?? #and also lack of appearance online #like i hope you all think of me just as a crying thumbs up cat bc that's who i am in a spiritual sense #i'm just thinking about work today #i feel like i spoke too much to my coworkers. even tho in reality it probably wasn't a lot #i just feel like i'm inherently annoying to be around #and i look gross #and i looked even grosser today bc i was super sweaty bc i'm not used to this work #and as i predicted i didn't know everything so i feel dumb and like a failure #and also i tried to make casual conversation while on break and i just ??? i talked too much #people don't wanna hear about you sarah just stop talking!!! #my therapist is always like ''you're naturally very pleasant and kind and i think people are drawn to that'' #and it's just like... sir we see each other in a clinical and professional setting #i'm less awkward bc of that #i'm p sure most people see me and are just like ew what a fucking loser #and they're right to think that lmao #why?? did i think i could handle a job like this?? #like i have to give it at least 3 months. bc maybe i'll feel better about it by then #i'm already dreading my next day bc it's so embarrassing for me to exist in public spaces #the job itself isn't bad. but there's customers and even worse. coworkers