#it's been so long since i've posted an essay post omfg

[inspector-montoya-fox]

i was thinking in the shower about how things would have turned out had Bentley managed to break into the Cooper Vault without needing to recruit anyone. for starters, there wouldn't be a Sly 3 lol... i mean Sly and Bentley would definitely have gone after Murray so An Opera of Fear and Rumble Down Under would have happened i guess but for the sake of the post let's say they wouldn't have asked the Guru to join the gang. so no Netherlands and no China meaning no Penelope and no Panda King, and by extent no Dimitri because of no deal in Netherlands.

removing Sly 3's secondary characters kinda puts things into perspective in terms of character development. in Sly 1 we collected Thievius Racconus pages as we got closer to the truth and Sly learned new tricks and honed his skills in preparation for his encounter with Clockwerk. Sly 2 was just a traumatic trainwreck altogether like SP really put the gang through the wringer idk how they survived.

in Sly 3 this development is brought about through the secondary characters and their relationships with the protagonists. Penelope drives a wedge between Sly and Bentley forcing the latter to muster up the courage and step outside of Sly's shadow for a minute; Panda King's return demands Sly to mature and let go of the past; Dimitri tests the gang's patience; both Penelope and Panda King contribute to the Murray van storyline which kinda exhibited that yea! in the long run, Murray might be the dummy of the group as Dr Michael chastises at the end but he is definitely the heart of the gang.

but if all this never happened then how would Honour Among Thieves play out? funny thing is, even if they recruited the extended gang, shit hit the fan almost immediately upon arrival so i'm assuming the same would apply if the original trio had tried to pull it off on their own? no? as a sidenote: i'm also thinking that Sly 2 is the only game in the series that kinda had like the aspect of urgency if you think about it. someone stole the Clockwerk parts and they were going to rebuild him so tick tock bitch. Sly 1 and 3 however don't really have that sense of time pressure. the Fiendish Five were sitting on their asses for literally a decade before Sly popped up for the pages and don't even get me started on the possibility of Dr Michael managing to crack the Cooper Vault open like what a loser lmao. with this in mind, Bentley would have the time to develop his tech in order to do the tasks that the extended gang members would have done. i mean if he managed to build a time machine surely he could make his tech waterproof ?

so the entire heist goes according to plan with the possibility of them tripping that stupid alarm still at play. i never intended to do a full play by play "what if...?" of Honour Among Thieves but suffice to say Carmelita would 100% show up to save the day even with the change of context. i think the most important change would be that Bentley's run-in with Dr Michael would go down very differently. i don't think he'd defend Sly; i actually think Dr Michael would get to him even without Penelope's introduction because she only brought out feelings that were brewing deep in Bentley's subconscious (especially after the end of Sly 2, becoming disabled for a cause that was never his and that dedication arguably never being reciprocated). he might not have shown it in the moment but i think that conversation would significantly shape Bentley's character and if Sly got out of the episode unscathed, the gang would probably split. leaving the Guru behind would also give Murray the motive to go his own way.

it's clear that Sly 3's secondary characters helped the gang get over some unspoken issues they had between them, even if they got resolved behind each other's backs (because Bentley only vents to Penelope about his feelings and doesn't go straight to Sly, who, in turn, doesn't even know there's an issue to begin with). personally, and i feel kinda stupid for suggesting something so simplistic in relation to how this game would be better like 7-8 years after being on this godforsaken website and analysing it to the point where it feels like the bible, i feel like one more episode would help really flesh out the problems the gang had. we never get direct acknowledgment or accountability from Sly and it feels like he's too focused on entering the Vault to care about Bentley's feelings, or anyone else's for that matter (there's like 7 anon asks gathering dust in my inbox about why i have anti-Sly sentiment and that number better not go up). all it takes is a 'you know what guys? you should enter the vault with me after literally sticking by me since childhood and risking your lives fighting my own battles' and they shoot up the van like it's a guest on Wendy.

Sly 2's ending proved that the protagonists aren't Riverdale characters who just go through weekly life-threatening events without any guilt, trauma and anxiety; and then in Sly 3 we get high-stake situations akin to the ClockLa saga, like the Dragon snatching Penelope, but because it's crammed between episodes instead of games, the characters come out of it seemingly unfazed. the complete lack of recognition for all of this makes it seem like Sly is an awful leader for the gang. like i think Penelope would genuinely snap when she got taken hostage by LeFwee after the dragon thing.

i think the internal politics of the gang could have been explored way better but i understand that juggling that and the introduction of one new character per episode would be impossible. i'd love to see Bentley confronting Sly, Murray realising that he's getting more support about what matters to him (the van, the Guru's wellbeing) from the literal strangers they've recruited than his best friends, Sly realising that his lack of involvement in the gang's friendship is what turned Dr Michael against ConnEr. maybe Honour Among Thieves could have been a two-parter honestly. maybe the Dimitri Dr Michael piranha hybrid bossfight should have never made the cut.

#kings of fucking subtlety pulling up to a months-in-the-works heist in a pirate ship #i love these games #sly cooper #it's been so long since i've posted an essay post omfg #this one's chunky too like loads to discuss babes #other notes: #it's not like Sly learned how to fly a plane because of Penelope so he could still disable Kaine island's security right? #and also: #it feels like Bentley could have easily found someone other than Panda King but he just did it out of spite like out of pure pettiness #and that's just so deeply rotten like what was even the thought process behind that? #steal the girl that doesn't even know i exist? i'll force you to reconcile with the guy who killed your dad #wtf bentley

[brandnewhuman]

Okay fiiiiine, you convinced me. So my name is Samantha and I’m 5’3 with an alt sense of style. My hair is always colored and my outfits concern super conservative people, which I think is hilarious. I love heavy metal and alternative music (hence why me and Bo would get along) and I totally don’t have a savior complex at all nope, not me, wrong bitch. I adore animals, which is why I went 😍 when I saw bo was a dog person, and believe my life purpose is to use my trauma to help others overcome theirs. I’m really into spirituality but respect everyone’s beliefs as long as they don’t try to change mine. As much as I hate people, I would die for my friends and family in a heartbeat and always put others before myself. I used to be a competitive dancer and I would go back to it in a heartbeat if I could. I don’t like talking about it because I don’t want to seem arrogant but I’m actually really smart but not in the “I’m better than you” way, y’know? I’m a massive empath and am really good at being there for people through thick and thin, which I’m quite proud of. I love psychology, hence why I want to be a psychiatrist, because I think the more you know, the more helpful you can be. I’m a massive introvert but I’ve got pretty good social skills which still surprises me sometimes. I’m really kind to everyone but if you hurt someone I love, I turn into a she-devil (or so I’ve been told). My main love languages are physical tough and words of affirmation, but honestly I appreciate everything if I know it came from the heart. Overall I just want to be able to love and take care of others which is why I think I would be a good fit for Bo. He’d hate it initially, but eventually he’d be like “okay this is what I need but I won’t show it cause vulnerability bad”. Anyway yeah I’m such a hoe for him to the point where I’m debating getting him tatted on me cause I love him sm <3

ESSAY ON WHY YOU

SHOULD MARRY

♡BO SINCLAIR♡

The fact that we'll never experience Bo in his dilf era looking like this is something thats been ruining my life 24/7.

First of all, as I already stated in my Bo likes to sing post, this man has not only taste but talent for music. You would never have to live another day of your life listening to bad music. It's a punishable crime to not give Bo the aux cord. 

YOU TWO HAVE SO MUCH UNHINGED ENERGY. HE WOULD LOVE SO MUCH HOW YOU'RE ABLE TO PUT CONSERVATIVES  IN THEIR GODDAMN PLACE. He's probably the proudest boyfriend in this world, and would flex on everyone he knows about how cool and stylish his darling is. 

NOW HOLD ON A DAMN MINUTE HERE SAMANTHA. YOU AND ME ARE GOING TO HAVE A NICE TALK HERE; 

Bo doesn't need to be saved, he needs to GET HYPED INTO BEING EVEN WORSE. Okay maybe no but he's not a Grumpy Bastard as everyone says. HE'S A VERY NICE BOY, ITS YOU HORNY BASTARDS WHO LIKE PEOPLE BEING MEAN TO YOU AND STUFF. 

Yes, I'm horny bastards but that's besides the point.

He's not necessarily an angry person, he's emotionally constipated like the REAL MEAN TALL ASS BITCH BASTARD AUDREY MYERS. He has a hard time with talking about his feelings openly, give him a break okay? He needs to be loved and be taken care of. The way I see it he's more of a bottle up everything and just explodes later when he's alone, because he has learned that all his emotions, positive or negative, are bad and shouldn't be displayed in front of anyone. 

Now I have to say…Bo is not a dog person, he's like a jonesy person. That fluffy girl is his soul mate, he has tried to deny that and fight it but in the end he had to give up to the crushing reality of jonesy being the love of his life. 

PLEASE YOU'RE THE MOST RELATABLE PERSON EVER OMFG. That being said Bo has a lot of trauma so good thing you enjoy helping with that cause that's something of which he has plenty :') 

And since I've gaslighted my small garbanzo bean brain into thinking he has survived and Vinny too he has now even more trauma to overcome. (This are the real consequences of falling in love with characters that never stood a chance to survive in the first place)

It's not a secret Bo is a family man, like he literally died doing what his mother wanted from them while trying to protect Vincent too. He can't stand backstabbing and even if you're in the wrong he's always going to be on your side if you're someone he loves. When Bo falls in love he falls hard and violently so there's no room for any I don't knows or uncertainty. He has to know you're 100% in it with him no matter what so he really appreciates your loyalty and your willingness to protect the ones you love, he will repay that with the same energy. 

I GET IT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY. (I know that maybe you don't care but I like to overshare my personal thoughts shh) I've never considered myself smart but sometimes I do like have big brain thoughts but I always feel like i shouldn't flaunt about it you know?

Fortunately Bo is not that shy and has no problem telling everyone how smart you are and how many things you know. He himself is a pretty smart man but he always had to play the more handy type of man, and since Vince was the prodigy no one really noticed Bo was talented or smart (something I said in my post about Bo talent in music). Before you, only Vinny was considerate of Bo's intelligence and did everything he could to make him feel appreciated for once. Unfortunately Bo has got used to be put in the dumb deep south boy by everyone so after years of hearing people say it he ended up believing it. His own ego is the only thing that doesn't allow him to admit he feels that way. But you, in his eyes, deserve the recognition and the admiration so he does everything he can to make sure every person he meets knows he has the smartest s/o in the world. 

This man needs so much understanding it's not even funny. He would feel more comfortable talking with you about certain things cause he knows you and he kinda sees you as his safe place. So please please listen to him and try to help him figure his things out cause it would be such a huge step for him to get better at expressing himself freely. Try to give him again a safe space where he can feel his emotions without fearing the consequences, he needs someone who would never make him feel like a monster or a bad person when he's overwhelmed with big emotions. 

He is more of a acts of service type of man. He remembers every little thing you tell him, so don't be surprised if he remembers how you like your coffee or that you're fixated on a certain type of thing ecc

He would memorise your routine so he can help you out with that too. And it's not something he does just at the beginning of the relationship, he keeps doing that forever cause he never takes for granted your love or your presence in his life. He knows he lacks in being more vocal about his feelings ecc but he makes up for it by being attentive and thoughtful with his s/o. 

And you're right, he has always had to be the one taking care of everything and everyone so when you'll first try to help him he may try distancing himself just because he feels like if he's not doing his job at being in charge of everything then he's failing at showing to his loved ones he cares. It's the constant feeling of not being worthy nor good enough to let anyone care for him and the need to feel helpful. 

It would be great for him if someone showed him it's okay to let go and let others take control when he's too tired. 

LISTEN TO THIS SONG CAUSE IT'S LITERALLY SO ABOUT BO:

#slasher community #slasher fandom #slashers #slasher fanfiction #horror movies #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #house of wax #slasher matchups #brian van holt