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shitty-flangst-writer · 4 years

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Feeling hot, Hajime stood up and got himself a glass of water. From the window he could see several surfaces that were visibly sweltering, but that wasn’t what caught his attention. Only him, his childhood friend for more than ten years stands near the wall, in the shade of house tossing a ball then catching it in his hands again.

Tooru did this over and over alternating between hitting it to the wall and tossing it into the air. Hajime watched him as he did so, then he decided to call him out.

“Oi, Shittykawa, get inside! Do you even realize that it’s noon?” Hajime yelled.

“Ah, Iwa-chan, don’t worry about me, I’m going inside, don’t mind me.” Tooru said running inside.

It has been a few weeks after the Interhigh and not once has Hajime seen the other without a ball in his hands. If this guy overworks himself again, I swear to all things holy that he will taste pain.

================

Tooru was running late and he knew it. That was Hajime’s first signal that something was wrong, he talked a lot, stalled a lot and even put practice and clean up on hold just because he liked causing a fuss,but Oikawa Tooru was never late to anything if it was because of himself.

“Maybe he got held up by his fangirls?“ said Issei.

“Again?” asked Shigeru.

“Start warm-ups while we wait for him.” the coach ordered.

An hour and a half late to practice, Tooru had arrived. Nothing was out of the ordinary, his clothes were fine, his hair didn’t have a strand out of place and he looked well rested.

Hajime listened in on the conversation between them catching snippets of ...I overslept..., ...sister... and ... this better be the last time...

I guess I was worried for nothing. Hajime thought.

===============

A few days after the first late incident, there came another sign that something was wrong.

“I’ll be going now guys!” said Tooru after helping with the clean-up.

“No extra practice today?” asked Takahiro.

“No, sorry I need to go somewhere.”

Just what is this idiot up to?

===============

Since that day, Tooru has been arriving an hour or more late then leaving early after clean-up not even bothering to spend more time with his team to eat or to go home. Hajime was beyond worried, he didn’t know whether it was good that Tooru never stayed late or bad that he decided to just ditch his team for whatever commitment he had.

Even more than that, Tooru missed more sets today than he had the past week, his serving was fine so the team didn’t call him out on any of it. Hajime wanted to shrug it off, to just leave it as his teammates did, but he couldn’t memories of the broken voice that called him at sometime during their first year at nine o’clock in the evening, crying at how he landed wrong and that it hurts.

Hajime shakes himself out of it sending a text to Tooru.

Shittykawa

>>> Remember the practice match tomorrow.

He didn’t get a reply. Normally, when Tooru was home and wasn’t doing homework, he’d reply pretty quickly. But here he was an hour later with no reply.

Hajime woke up the next day finding that Tooru had replied.

>>> Sorry, Iwa-chan, I just woke up.

Followed by a string of incomprehensible emoji’s. Hajime thought nothing of it at first, until he saw what time he sent the message. 5:57 a.m.

What is this idiot up to?

===============

If Tooru though that his performance yesterday was awful, today, even his serves were off. They were either caught in the net or were hitting the wall, he even managed to hit Issei with a ball, Tooru couldn’t remember when was the last time he managed to do that.

He was getting frustrated by now and everyone in the gym knew. When he managed to hit the ball to the upper floor, the coach pulled him out to take a breather before the opposing team came.

Stepping outside Tooru went under the shade of a tree and leaned on it.

Why?

Even after all this time.

Why?

Is it the toss?

Is it the jump?

I have to practice.

I have to get on the court.

I have to practice.

Tooru closed his eyes and began to repeat his movements in his head considering any possible source of error. After what seems like a few minutes, he hears his name being called by Hajime.

We’ll win today too. he tough before going inside.

===============

It was the second set of their third game, 15-14 Seijoh, things were going pretty good. Hajime hit the ball into the block scoring another for Seijoh when the opposing team called a time-out.

Tooru walked to the bench with a sway in his step and a small limp.

“Oikawa, don’t think I can’t see that limp.” Tooru flinched and smiled, or at least tried to.

“I’m fine coach I just hit it pretty bad when I went out to cool my head earlier.”

“I’m not taking any chances. Yahaba, switch with him when the game continues.” Both setters just nodded, knowing that health came first.

After being switched out, Tooru went to stand next to Issei who was currently out of the rotation.

“You look pretty bad, cap.” said the blocker.

“Hey, I don’t appreciate you calling me ugly!”

“Not like that you idiot, have you been sleeping okay?” Issei said concern on his face.

“I’m fine, okay? Iwa-chan hasn’t asked me that in a few weeks now, have you two switched roles for now?”

Before Issei could retort, he was switched in for his serve.

===============

The game was finished and the team was now cleaning up. Tooru was picking up a few stray balls as they did serve practice when the opposing team left.

He took one ball after another, after a while of doing so, he felt a headache starting to grow and boy did it grow fast. He got up quickly and immediately regretted his decision. His vision spun then he swayed for a bit before a hand came to steady him.

“You alright?” Takahiro, from what he’s heard.

“Yeah, yeah, just got dizzy picking up balls.” Tooru replied.

Takahiro was about to step away when Tooru called for him.

“Hey, Makki? I think my head’s starting to get worse?” Tooru said before blacking out completely.

===============

Hajime didn’t get it, what could have possibly been the cause of that?

Tooru didn’t overwork himself, hi didn’t stay for extra training, his light was off whenever I look over to his house, he always looked well energized and he wasn’t whining about headaches and not looking good. So why was he here in the hospital only just now finding out that his best friend has not eaten in a minimum of 24 hours, has not slept well, has been putting way too much strain on his injured knee and is now on the verge of injuring his ankle.

“Oikawa Tooru?” He heard the doctor call out. The team had left a few minutes ago seeing as it was running late and that they needed to go home. Hajime stayed since, surprise Tooru’s parents were also out of town.

“Here.” said Hajime approaching the doctor.

“He’s in room 309, you can visit him, he’s conscious right now, but I suggest not to stress him too much.” Hajime nodded and proceeded to go to the elevator.

Just what did you do Tooru?

===============

When Hajime entered Tooru’s head snapped to the direction of the door, their eyes met. Tooru’s eyes filled with tears and Hajime needn’t be told anything, he surged forward grabbing Tooru’s body and pulling it to his own.

“Hey, hey, the doctor said not to stress yourself too much.” Haijime said while stroking the other’s hair.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Tooru kept repeating.

“Sh, calm down, then tell me what happened. Okay?” Hajime felt Tooru nod into his chest.

After a few minutes of Tooru sniffling, he got himself under control. He breathed and proceeded to tell Hajime what happened.

“It started when you saw me playing in my backyard, remember? When you called me out?” Tooru didn’t expect an answer he knew that Hajime knew it was rhetotical, so he continued. “I started thinking, if I couldn’t get any practice when you can see me, how about I practice without you seeing me.”

“So you started practicing whenever I was busy?” Hajime asked and Tooru laughed.

“Something like that, yeah. The first day I went home early, I decided to hide from the team, to wait for you to vacate the gym. When you did, I used the keys that the coach gave me and practiced by myself.”

“Knowing you, you probably practiced until midnight.” Hajime said half joking, the other half afraid it was true.

“Please, tell me you didn’t do that?” He pleaded when Tooru averted his gaze.

“I didn’t stay until midnight.”

“Then what time did you go home?”

Tooru mumbled something then started to fiddle with his fingers before sniffling again.

“What?”

“4 a.m. mostly.”

“You what?” Hajime seethed.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” Hajime sighed knowing that by now he was just scaring the other.

“Okay, continue.”

“Oh, okay. So, my parents have been out of town since a few days ago and yesterday I forgot to grab some food. When I stayed last night I wasn’t in the mood to eat so I just kept on practicing until the time I saw your message, a bit around 6 a.m.”

“How much have you been eating these days Tooru?” Hajime asked.

“It honestly depends.” the other said looking down.

“Let me rephrase that, how much food have you been able to keep down, these past few days?”

“Not a lot.” Hajime knew the definition of that, and that ranged from a couple of spoonfuls to nothing at all.

“How much sleep did you get these past few days?” He continued.

“Not a lot.” Tooru repeated. He wasn’t answering the question. That meant the answer ranged from a maximum of three hours to none at all. Tooru had been living off no sleep and little to no food the past few days all because he wanted to practice? Was he insane?

Tooru looked up from wherever he was staring and saw the conflicted look on Hajime’s face. Then the other pounced on him.

“Iwa-chan?” he asked.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see it, I knew something was wrong but I thought that I was over reacting. I thought it was just paranoia from when you got injured.” Hajime whispered as he clutched his best friend.

“Looks like your instincts were right for once, huh, Iwa-chan?” Tooru laughed.

“Tooru.”

“I thought I misheard you earlier.”

“If something’s wrong please, tell me, I’ll help you.”

“I know that Hajime. I know you’ll help me.” Tooru assured him.

“But that’s not enough for me Tooru, it’s not enough for me that I help you, you need to help yourself. I’m not he only one that should look after you. Please Tooru, stop this.” Hajime pleaded.

“You know it’s not that easy Haji.”

“I know, we’ll do it together, to make it as easy as possible for you. Please Tooru, please try. This is all for you. You’re my best friend, you’re more than my best friend, it’s my job to look after you, but it’s your responsibility to look after yourself.” Tooru nodded and leaned more into the other’s hug savoring his warmth and if he saw him not as a friend anymore, he let it go for now.

He didn’t bother to think of Hajime’s little slip up of “more than my best friend”. He didn’t need to entertain that thought for now. All he needed was his rock, his backbone, his pillar and his right-hand man, Iwaizumi Hajime.

#oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #self harm #randomizer

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