#it's 1am in england i should be sleeping but i cant because i am plauged by the horrors (cubito fit and his incredible complexness)

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that moment when you live in a horrific unstable war torn land where you are surrounded by a world that teaches you to hate all kinds of people (which in some respects consequently includes yourself) and you become a warrior/warlord fueled by hatred and disgust of all people including and especially yourself and you kill and torture and fight to keep yourself alive because survival of the fittest and every man for himself are the only two truths you prescribe to but then you finally get a break and you escape the hellscape and you find yourself a (begrudgingly beloved) son who lets you realise that your blood stained hands can nurture and care and create and that you are more than a machine made to survive because you are a person made to live and you meet a man who is sweet and funny and clever in ways that still make you feel like you want to throw up but slowly his friendship becomes such a big part of your life and he lets you realise that caring for someone and being cared for by someone could never be disgusting no matter who you are and and and and and

#fitpac #qsmp #qsmp fitmc #fitmc #qsmp fit #hideduo #pactw #qsmp pac #qsmp ramon #qsmp ramón #tw homophobia #<implied but nonetheless #it's 1am in england i should be sleeping but i cant because i am plauged by the horrors (cubito fit and his incredible complexness)