#it severely impacted my sleep and rest quality which I'm still working on to fix

[mimimarilynart]

October 2021

#succulents #my plants #mimimarilynart #October 2021 #personal #rambles #posting this at 3am and a bit of /journaling/ in the tags #wanna get a bit of things off my chest before my mind gets cluttered up with thoughts again #sooo I haven't been keeping track of how long I stopped using tumblr and ig entirely (also my personal email) due to some anxiety struggles #for the last 18 months or so I kind of got progressively more burnt out with my job + felt my social anxiety worsening #plus being stuck at home almost all the time + dealing with having one more parent living at home = my *battery* eroded significantly #I chose to disengage with apps and media platforms bcs a major trigger I deal with on the daily is my inbox #notifications in general and the idea of having to read/respond/act to others became a majorly upsetting and draining activity #I know this isn't okay but I've always known and accepted the fact that I'm a person with very limited social energy #it takes a very long time for me to recover from social interactions and I couldn't afford to deplete more than what I have #and bcs my job has been 100% remote this became a major issue with communications via tech #it severely impacted my sleep and rest quality which I'm still working on to fix #there's also some plans that couldn't happen due to covid and it's been very depressing #overall I just had to minimize any activity that created more stress in my head #I don't know if this is something I can get help with but I feel like it's more on me to find a better mode that works #I haven't really been drawing for almost a year except minor attempts but I think that's a mistake #there's specific persons and things keeping me going but I want to do more for my wellbeing so I don't feel like I'm unworthy at times #for a number of months I really didn't have any spare time energy left from coping with life and job in general #drawing still is my favourite hobby and I realized how happy it makes me even if I can only doodle with a pencil #but I will try to do a better job at balancing my day schedule #new hobby I picked up this year is crochet/yarn work and it's been helping a lot with calming myself when things feel overwhelming #tomorrow I'll try to post a doodle dump before my little holiday officially ends #I hope next year things will be better for a change #if anyone needs a therapeutic and affordable activity I recommend yarn crafts