#is ame carrying everything with the knowledge that you can't make amends with the world if you have nothing to offer

[easays]

maybe we're not there yet, but the Grief and Loss Dynamics in Worlds Beyond Number are so devastating

suvi's commitment to hierarchy and knowledge so clearly shows how a child will internalize grief and trauma as something that can be avoided, if only they can control things and know better

ame's light and sweetness so painfully feels like the kind of grief that you hold onto that tricks you into believing it won't hurt so bad if you just don't look backwards -- for all her commitment to both worlds, to honoring the past and forging the future, ame still walks through the world with more items anyone could conceivably carry so that she never has to leave anything (anyone) behind

and eursulon -- oh, baby, eursulon. eursulon reminds me so clearly of what grief and trauma does to the way someone moves in the world when they know, bone deep, that their own skin and their own fear are the only things they can count on -- that joy is a thing meant to leave and it's not something you can design your life around

I know it's just a podcast -- but I just...have a lot of feelings

#worlds beyond number #brennan lee mulligan #aabria iyengar #lou wilson #erika ishii #suvi “all i've made are hard decisions” kedberiket vs every door #ame #eursulon #do you think eursulon ever sleeps halfway out of windows just to try and capture that summer one more time? #does suvi (for a time) try to learn more about witches because she worries that she won't know how to keep grandmother wren and ame safe? #does she only stop when she realizes that learning more would require making a choice she can't make? #is ame carrying everything with the knowledge that you can't make amends with the world if you have nothing to offer #and she's not quite sure if she's enough to qualify just on her own? if she was enough then why would they leave? #I have a lot of feelings about this show I need to be left alone