#indefinitely rotating 1001 angsty AUs in my mind in which durge wants to get Gortash's soul back

[dullahanblorboposting]

Oh no

A resistant Durge who denounces Bhaal is killed by Bhaal and subsequently resurrected without the Urge per canon. But upon resurrection realizes that the odd echo of feelings for the (now deceased) Gortash are STILL their and somehow even stronger than before.

Resistant Durge thinking that the old them, pre-brain scramble, surely liked Gortash as they did as a side effect of being a fucked up evil Bhaalspawn, and that once they overcame/removed the urges, this inexplicable discomforting itch of feelings for Gortash would die with that part of themself, too. Having all these strange emotions bubbling in the back of their mind while they agree to a truce and temporary partnership to get the brain under control for the time being. Being willfully ignorant of Gortash's apparent honestly and genuine interests in Durge. Wishing to get everything over with so they can get away from the uncomfortable familiarity and comfort Gortash's voice brings. Being convinced that once they escape Bhaal, these feelings it's causing will go away with it.

Only to come to realize once being revived a new that they had liked Gortash despite the Bhaalspawn thing, and being beholden to their father actually suppressed it. Because now that their free of his influence altogether the feelings that were poking and prodding at them quietly, and guilt of watching Gortash die hit them full force. Forced to have the dread and regret and guilt of realizing too late that Gortash was the one thing from their previous life that WASN'T thrust upon them at their father's command. They had been so eager to be rid of the one person in the world who truly did care for them, mean something to them, while thinking the exact opposite.

Or something.

#the survivors guilt 🤌 the tragedy of it all🤌🤌🤌 #is this just me looking for more excuses to think about durge stealing Gortash's soul back? #perchance #bg3 #gortash #durge #durgetash #it's MY brain and I get to pick the unhealthy coping mechanism durgetash fantasy 😤 #indefinitely rotating 1001 angsty AUs in my mind in which durge wants to get Gortash's soul back