#im in a fistfight with three of my younger selves who are all simultaneously yelling 'NO!' give me a fucking MINUTE

[hella1975]

update on date guy so i was supposed to go to his place sunday for lotr + wine but i fully cancelled on him 😭 i have no excuse it was my first day to myself after exams and i just wanted to be lazy like my social battery was OBLITERATED i had to put me first okay. and he was kinda mardy about it which is SO funny to me but anyway we rescheduled and im now seeing him in two hours and im being so brave about it

#im not as nervous today as i was like im kinda excited for it i think there's potential #and worst case scenario is i watch lotr in silence with free wine and free food like okay i can live with that #but omg i can feel the urge to Freak Out and i feel like im batting it away with a twig #ill be like 'i wonder how tonight will go :) *feels something creeping up behind me*' #like NO we're being POSITIVE we're trying NEW THINGS #bc that is really the crux of the issue like meeting him in a coffee shop was fine for me #so ironically i was less stressed for our FIRST date than i am the second which is so dumb #but just being at his house and the fact im actually dipping my toe into these things #is rlly scary for me personally just bc my experiences in this field are either surface level #or just absolute horror shows #like ik all my mates are kinda just like 'it's a date get over it' but it's NOT there's LAYERS there's IMPLICATIONS #im in a fistfight with three of my younger selves who are all simultaneously yelling 'NO!' give me a fucking MINUTE #but yeah i will tell you how it goes lotr is LONG too so im nervous of that but at least watching a film we dont have to make constant conv #*conversation #even tho tbh our first date we stayed until close at that coffee shop which meant we were talking for like 2.5 hours #which is almost lotr runtime #FUCK #this is going to be good this is going to be so good i am openminded and confident i CANNOT CANCEL AGAIN #hella goes to uni