#if theres some kind of bigher force controlling everything please don't make me lose this place please i cant live in a car again p

[the-peter-parker]

Hhhghghh I want someone to talk to but like big rip,, venty tag time

#i don't really wanna type right now but I'm just really scared right now and i need to get it out silently so typey time #i don't know if i can do this again. it's only been a year. i thought this was over i thought it was done? please don't make me.do this agai #n please please #this year was supposed t be good. i was gonna catch up on school and make friends and dye my hair and skate it was supposed to be good #if theres some kind of bigher force controlling everything please don't make me lose this place please i cant live in a car again p #i finally got my yellow walls this year :") please don't take them away from.me please #it was supposed to be my senior year this month. i was supposed to have friends again. i was supposed to be happy #but i have no one and ixm even farther behind on graduating #this feels like some sort of sick joke really #my skates might not show up till october which doesn't help my current outlook. i know after 3 months another 2.5 isnt that long its just #its hard to look forward to something i cant know i'll be around for. man this sucks #i know no one would care if i was gone and thats the real kicker here. maybe they'll care after i'm gone. the people eho havent texted me in #years. the ones who told me to sit with them and then forgot to talk to me. or keep the people who want to.hurt me away. #the ones who ask every year when my birthday is like they'll remember next time. i knew her. they'd say #but they havent known me since 7th grade. a simple hi would mean so much right now. but they dont care so theres no reason to say it #and even if they did thats all it would go. theyxd forget to text back. they forgot my number anyway. maybe my name too. #no one blinked when i cut off over a foot of hair last year and that really stuck. ixve had them forget my face. it hasnt changed?? why did #you forget?? how could you forget me like that?? i was right there i was right there #i'll be 18 soon now. i havent had a friend who really cared since i was 15 and i think she did it out of pity. i feel so? worthless #i dont think i wanna be me anymore. can i get a second chance please? can i start over? as someone else plesse? #someone who has friends and a supportive family and a stable house please plesse #this isn't funny anymore. i havent felt save in over 5 years. i just want to.know i'm okay i'm.loved and valid and okay #but i'm not am i? none of those things #i'm out of time aren't I? #dont reblog please hhhhhhdhhd #vent tw