#if someone told me to read something bc “it's gay so I think you'd like that”

[lalalaugenbrot]

15 questions + 15 friends tagged by @nougatbit

1. Are you named after anyone?

i don't think so but as far as i can retrace my name it's greek, somehow ended up in russia and then was made popular outside of russia via doctor zhivago's lara/larissa... (still have to read that!)

2. When was the last time you cried?

I cried from an allergy i have to certain skin cremes last night at the cinema... apart from that i don't remember atm but certainly not long ago

3. Do you have kids?

nope

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

i did swimming when i was like 14 (i still like swimming a lot but i'm not in a club or anything anymore)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

no :-)

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

this has always been a weird question to me... their??? face?!?!! (*laughs nervously* wouldn't that always be the first thing to notice about someone???)

7. What's your eye color?

blue

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

a weird opposition. i don't really like horror movies and i prefer the ending a story needs and deserves, so some stories (e.g. a story on two traumatised young men who love and need each other more than anything or anyone else in the world in a mediocre prime time crime show) certainly deserve a happy end, other stories (e.g. a film that displays some severe social grievances) often should not have a happy ending because there isn't one to be expected in reality either... except for sometimes, for example, when it is about two queer men in 1913 Britain, finding and loving each other against all odds and all social norms, written by a gay man in the same era, then of course a happy ending can be imperative even :-)

9. Any talents?

people don't tire to tell me how ~creative i am... and that despite my apparent total lack of (visual, auditory, sensory) imagination 🙃 so there's that

other than that... i think i am good with words and i write since i literally can write and nothing brings me more joy than having written.. writing has been like the most important thing in my life for 26 years now even though it has always been something that happens more like 'in the background' of everything else

10. Where were you born?

in one of the (imo) most village-like "Großstädte" of Germany... if i told you where you'd probably know it because of one specific thing... i've been all the way to other continents and people knew it just because of that

11. What are your hobbies?

most hobbylike things are probably analogue photography, building stuff around the house (shelves etc.) and going to the cinema (or like film in general)

12. Do you have any pets?

no, but i had mice and i miss them... if i had more time and more space to have an adequate place to keep them i'd like to have mice or rats again...

13. How tall are you?

1,73

14. Favorite subject in school?

hm. not sports. i had a 'compulsory optional course' in physics/informatics and i always say it changed my life bc that's where i understood that i like and am good at technical and computer stuff... i also liked pedagogy (nrw superiority), the obligatory history course in 12th grade specifically and in the last years also maths... god do i miss solving math problems 😭😭

15. Dream job?

i wrote this in my friends journal when i was like 10 and it is still true but i think i am a bit past the point where this will ever happen but it's 'director ' (of films)... but that involves networking and other people and putting yourself out there... and uh... i just don't see that happening (i have directed but not in the slightest professionally), the other one of course has always been 'author' and i guess that could still happen... someday in the future maybe... you know, when I'm a grown-up

tagging: @diersten @tiny-steve @sinnsenke @mcfif @black-cat-aoife @silverysnake @free-piza @lachricola

#tag things

[eliasdrid]

small rant under read more bc im still pissed about something

still thinking about a conversation some people were having (and i was unfortunately present to witness, participate to see if they'd shut up and get mad at) that basically boiled down to "They only make media diverse now to get money and I don't care about representation because I, white cishet male, read the source material and it wasn't like this"

like 1) most movies and shows are adaptations and not 1:1 and a lot of fictional work has been white washed, you're just mad it's not adapted in a way you'd personally prefer 2) As one of the persons present said "do you really think you're the only type of person in the entire word? other people want to see people like them in media too"

so of course they switched the way they row their boat to say sometimes representation is "stereotypes" or "forced" which 1) better than absolutely nothing and opens the doors to people who want and will do better 2) literally I got nothing about this one, I was too enraged and about to bite someone for saying that lgbt narratives are "forced" in their media like cishet ones aren't ??????

When I was trying to cool off and distract/forget I was told "well, don't hate them for it, you'll find people like this at other times and in other situations" like why on Earth would you bother me when I'm clearly isolating and also I KNOW. Im a human being who lives and breathes. I'm not stupid. I Was and I'm Pissed because I was somewhere that was supposed to be safe and had to hear extremely stupid opinions. Not to mention I had to OUT myself to people I barely know because someone was like "why do they keep adding gay, trans, lesbians to media" and I was SO TIRED I was like What Is Your Problem, I'm Gay And I'd Like It If They Kept Making Diverse Things, I'm pretty sure that kids will be happy to not feel like fucking outsiders while growing up in a cishet society thanks to diversity. (hostile)

#elias.txt #Grrrr #ask to tag #i couldnt sleep later bc they made more comments i wont add that made me so mad!!!!