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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 295: So How Are You Holding Up (Because I’m a Potato)

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi randomly and graciously decided to answer all of our long-standing questions about Mr. Compress, including “is he secretly hot,” “is he secretly related to that Robin Hood thief guy,” and “is he ever going to use his quirk to chain chomp a hole right through his ass??” with the answer to all three being “yes, of course.” As for our follow-up questions, “sir, is Mr. Compress going to die,” and “holy shit,” his answers were, respectively, “wait and see,” and, “I understand, really I do, but that isn’t actually a question.” Well, he’s got us there.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi finally ends the War arc with the speed and grace of an overworked college student scrambling to BS their entire midterm essay with five minutes left before the deadline. Deku’s Spidey Sense is all “what up, I exist, p.s. you’re in danger kid” like oh shit, no, you think?? Compress is all “I’m not gonna die but I am going to pass out and be captured” and honestly, at this point I’ll take it. Spinner is all “Tomura you can have this one last Souvenir Hand I found that was in the oven for too long” and slaps it on his face because HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, SHUT UP. Dabi is all, “[currently in a marble].”Tomura is all “actually, I’m AFO.” AFO is all “hahahahaha” and summons all of the remaining Noumus to cart him and Spinner and Dabi off to safety. Deku is all “DAMMIT TOMURA I’M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR KILLING, AND I QUOTE, ‘AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE’, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, GET THIS, I TOTALLY WANT TO SAVE YOU TOO! LMAO ISN’T THAT WILD.” Fandom is all “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, is what we would say if we had literally never met Deku before, I guess.” And then the arc just ends, lol. See you in the new year, kids.

WAKE UP, LINK... I MEAN, DEKU

jesus christ Vestiges, not a one of you guys has got any chill at ALL. LISTEN TO ME. THIS CHILD IS DEAD. HE IS DECEASED. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S LYING THERE ALL DAZED WITH HIS ARMS AND LEGS TURNED INTO GREEN PUDDING AND YOU’RE ALL “GET UP LAZYBONES” LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD. CAN HE JUST REST?? CAN YOU ALL JUST CALL IT A DRAW WITH THE VILLAINS ALREADY SO WE CAN FINALLY END THIS TRAUMATIC ARC AND MOVE ON TO THE NEW “TRIAGE AND ROBOT LIMBS FOR EVERYBODY” ARC INSTEAD

LIE BACK DOWN YOU IDIOT!!

no you didn’t pass out because of a ~heatwave~, you passed out because he set you on fire while you were out here shooting Blackwhip out of your mouth with your SPINDLY ACCORDION LIMBS dangling uselessly from you like WINDCHIMES you RIDICULOUS BOY

“where’s Todoroki-kun” oh shiiiiiiit. right. god I hope someone caught him. BAKUGOU OWES HIM A FAVOR, HOW ‘BOUT IT

OH NEVER MIND HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIMSELF??

Todoroki Shouto has really highkey been the MVP of the entire fourth quarter of this arc. he deserves the world, and odds are all Horikoshi’s going to give him are lasting trauma, and a souvenir shirt that says “I survived this stupid arc and all I got was this t-shirt”

anyway now Deku’s being hit by a Lightning Bolt of Realization or some such? idk what’s going on, but I bet you it’s related to Tomura waking up again

OH SHIT??

LOL WHAT. THAT’S IT?? SPIDEY-SENSE?? I mean we all predicted Spidey-Sense being one of his quirks like ages ago, so Well Done, Us, I guess

but also, seriously?? all of that drama and intrigue about the fourth user’s quirk and this is what we end up with? what was All Might being so cagey about then? how did this dude die? I need answers goddammit. new, better answers lol

maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Deku keeps talking about how his head hurts?

I mean, for Deku of all people to be all “ouch that hurts”, it must really fucking hurt, you know? like oh my god Deku are you dying

lmao and SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY DON’T FEEL PAIN

this man is out here FROLICKING, half-naked and half-torsoed, AND STILL FEVERISHLY RATTLING OFF HIS MONOLGOUE. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ESCAPED YET YOU DINGUS. did watching Dabi pour bleach over his head inspire you to think of interesting new ways you could abuse your own body for the sake of Theatrics?? why are villains Like This

anyway so now Mirio’s punching him, because what else are you even supposed to do in this situation

I read this speech bubble three times in a row very carefully this time around just to make sure I was reading the words right. and then looked for a T/L note below. and there was none. whatever RHA, at least you all are out here enjoying yourselves

wait what?

I guess he hasn’t woken up yet after all?? so then wtf is Deku’s Spidey Sense getting all worked up about. I mean to be fair there’s danger all around them still so having a Spidey Sense in this kind of situation is kind of like bringing a smoke alarm to a BBQ

now what

wait did he put them back in the marble?? or is that panel just meant to show us how they were in the marble earlier?? Horikoshi please make this less confusing, I’m already having trouble staying focused as it is. and on top of everything else Compress is cascading blood like Niagara Falls right now and I’m starting to wonder if you really are going to kill him off

anyway so Mirio is still in mid-punch, and now he’s reaching out to punch Spinner with his other hand. heh. Mirio please be careful Tomura is right there, and I swear to god Horikoshi IF HE LAYS A HAND ON HIS SWIRLY BLOND HEAD SO HELP ME I WILL MAIL YOU A VIAL OF MY TEARS

okay seriously what the hell is happening

when you attach?? everyone?? to your body?? whose body?? who is this??

oh wait okay it’s a flashback to Tomura talking about his Hands

lmao this is so disjointed, I can’t tell what’s a flashback and what isn’t and whose thoughts these are lmao I give up. I’m just going to fire up a bunch of question marks until this starts making some goddamn sense. ???????

??????

????????

-- !!!!!!!!!!!

okay hold up. so did Spinner just slap Tomura’s last remaining Signature Fashion Hand onto his face just now for absolutely no reason?? is that what’s going on?? and fuck me but it actually worked too, lmao. is your buddy unconscious and unresponsive to stimuli?? no problem, just slap ‘em in the face with a burnt and shriveled severed hand. works every time

p.s. I SWEAR TO GOD HORIKOSHI. IF YOU TOUCH MIRIO!!! HE’S A GOOD BOY LEAVE HIM ALONE

??????????

OKAY WELL. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF IS HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST MIRIO’S NOT DEAD. KACCHAN GOT BLOWN AWAY THOUGH SOB. HOW IRONIC THAT THE GOD OF EXPLOSION MURDERS WOULD BE MURDERED BY AN EXPLOSION WHILE I WAS BUSY SAYING “OH MY GOD”

ohhhhhh, okay. so this is AFO’s narration

and that’s a partial answer to the question of “why did AFO bother raising Tomura up as his heir if he was planning on taking over his body the whole time.” apparently it makes it easier to control him. joy :’)

also this image of a potato wearing a Tomura wig is sending me fjkllkhl

oh my god he summoned all the Noumu to him like Aquaman and his sea creatures. this whole situation just keeps on getting better

-- oh hell no. oh fuck me, fucking shit

SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’M SORRY SPINNER, TOMURA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

oh my god. I fucking hate everything right now oh my god

I GUESS WE FIGURED OUT WHAT DEKU’S SPIDEY SENSE WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT, THEN ಠ_ಠ

fucking great!! so I guess nobody is getting a happy ending today, then. the heroes got their asses handed to them (sorry Compress, it’s a figure of speech, didn’t mean to be disrespectful); Deku and Kacchan died; Shouto’s evil brother came back from the dead to ruin his life; everyone and their dog lost various limbs; and the villains have now lost Twice (dead), Compress and Machia (presumably going to be captured), and now their fearless leader’s body has been completely taken over by AFO, which is such an unsexy development that it managed to completely undo all of the Mr. Compress Sexiness from last week. goddamn it

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS

up close Hadou’s face is looking pretty rough. :/ that’s going to scar over isn’t it. at least she’ll look like a badass

meanwhile I appreciate that Horikoshi drew what looks to be a little puff of air next to Kacchan’s mouth, just to reassure us all that he’s not actually dead. that’s fine. you just lie there then. also his wound really is in the exact same place as All Might’s and it’s giving me all kinds of feels you guys but whatever I’m not gonna sit here dwelling on it all day

AND POOR SHOUTO. IS HE STILL CRYING OMG. AND ENDEAVOR, WAY TO DO NOTHING STILL. THE ALL TIME CHAMP OF SITTING AROUND AND STARING, GOOD FOR YOU

ARE YOU FOR REAL, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

(－‸ლ)

lol

“peace out, loser.” “SHUT YOUR TRAP, HO.” quality encounter right here

anyway so he’s blasting Deku with something and Deku’s just flying back all unconscious-like. so then, what even was the point of all that, huh

oh I see, it was to lead us into one last Deku monologue to close this arc out

oh my god Deku if you say you’re going to save him I will turn around and do a cannonball into a ballpit of feels right now, don’t do this to me

OH SNAP I THINK HE’S GONNA THOUGH

DID HE LOOK LIKE HE NEEDED SAVING?? I MUST CONFESS YOU AND I ARE OF A MIND HERE, YOUNG BROCCOLI. YES IN SPITE OF ALL THE MURDERS. WHAT CAN I SAY IT’S COMPLICATED

by the way I just have to point out here, that after all of those impossibly pretty close-ups of Hawks’s unconscious face, Horikoshi really did my child dirty here lmao

he looks like a squished cockroach. THAT’S MY BABY BOY

and it looks like the cavalry is finally on its way too! took them long enough. so I guess they can take care of any of the remaining Noumu stragglers, but first let Deku finish his speech. listen up Deku I really need you to say something cool and iconic to cap off this thus-far admittedly underwhelming Last Chapter Of The Year, here

AHHHHHHH YES HE REALLY DID IT HE SAID THE THING

well he thought the thing, anyway. close enough. I’ll take it!

so this is really the end of the arc then! or at least I hope, good lord. anyways, all right then so let’s do a quick status check:

it looks like the Noumu are hauling Tomura and Spinner away to safety, but it doesn’t look like they managed to save Machia or Compress. this honestly might be in Compress’s best interests though. the heroes can get him some medical help along with Kacchan and Endeavor and everyone else

Dabi is apparently hidden inside Spinner’s scarf, but do they have any way of releasing him without Compress there to undo the quirk? will he be all right in there. like how is he going to get food and water and air and stuff lol. does it wear off after a bit? can Compress undo it when he wakes up, even if he’s in custody? is there a distance limit on it?

and Skeptic was presumably turned into a marble as well, but Compress didn’t bother mentioning him at all. nobody cares about poor Skeptic lol

and bonus AFO theories status check:

Dad for One - AFO called Deku worthless and hasn’t seemed to take the least bit of interest in him despite getting to see his fancy SIXQUIRKS up close and personal. so if he is his dad he sure as heck is a terrible one, that’s all I can say

All for One for All/Deku is a horcrux - well the Spidey Sense seems to offer an alternative explanation to why Deku could sense AFO’s presence, but on the other hand it doesn’t explain why AFO was able to sense Deku’s as well (seeing his dreams and such). still thinking there’s a connection there, guys, idk

AFO is the final villain - five words for you: “EVERYTHING IS FOR MY SAKE.” is that concrete enough yet lol. pretty sure this arc marked both the beginning and end of Tomura’s brief stint as the Big Bad. Deku’s got it in his mind to save him now somehow, and we all know what happens when Deku starts getting determined to save people. look out AFO

as for the heroes, they’re all varying degrees of Fucked and I think it’s honestly too much to even take stock of at this point. maybe if I get a rush of hyperfixation in the next couple days or so I’ll do a separate post analyzing the impact of this arc and where things currently stand and where they might be headed from here

but in the meantime, ngl, this chapter was kind of a hot mess lmao. but whatever, I don’t even care because at least he managed to get all of it done within the allotted 17 pages, meaning that next week (or rather two weeks from now, sob) we really can get moving onto the aforementioned Triage arc! BRING ON THAT ANGST. I am so fucking hyped goddammit

#bnha 295 #all for one #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #mr. compress #spinner (bnha)#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #idk why but this chapter was so exhausting to get through lol #I've enjoyed this arc so much but I guess at the end the fatigue just hit me all at once #almost 40 chapters we've been doing this #that's one chapter for every year iida has been alive #still it sure was epic though #now bring on that angsty aftermath

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lie---ability · 3 years

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for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.

but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.

first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.

the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.

but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Amelia & Jac

Amelia: My mum heard wrong and you're actually okay, right? Jac: I am now Amelia: but it was you Jac: me and half of Dublin Amelia: I could care less about about 3/4 of this town Jac: generous, a whole 1/4 Amelia: you know what I mean Jac: yeah Jac: your maths isn't that shocking Amelia: what happened? Jac: what do you mean Jac: I didn't accidentally swallow my mouthwash or something Jac: you know how it goes Amelia: alright, why did it happen? Jac: It was new years Jac: simple as Amelia: you don't give a shit about New Year's Amelia: or anything else right now Jac: I was feeling festive Amelia: because? Jac: because it's the reason for the season? idk Amelia: you're really going to make me figure it out? okay Jac: there's fuck all to figure out Jac: you've got drunk, you know why Amelia: What did she do? Jac: which nurse was it that told your mum Jac: or was it a receptionist, they're the fucking worst Amelia: answer my question so I don't have to go on her profile Jac: go ahead and look Jac: you won't be surprised, no one else is Amelia: [does so a pause] Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: I knew anyway Jac: well, was 99% sure Jac: but then that 1% went so Amelia: You could've called me Amelia: nobody on the gossip grapevine even knows the lad who brought you in Jac: I very much couldn't Jac: I was passed out Jac: so me either, the thank you note will sit here unsent, like Amelia: before, I mean Amelia: she didn't post that last night Jac: it was Christmas Amelia: so? Jac: a time for family Amelia: you used to be Amelia: basically Jac: well that's just weird Amelia: again, you know what I mean Jac: not acceptable to float your incest fantasies just 'cos you've got no siblings to go there with Amelia: ugh, shut up Jac: works for me Amelia: no, it doesn't Jac: ask anyone Jac: I've had a very relaxing break Amelia: none of this is working for you, that's why you ended up in hospital Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: that was the tequila Amelia: none of this is funny Jac: what do want me to say? Amelia: quite literally anything that isn't a pisstake Amelia: that's how low my bar is now Jac: I got drunk, it isn't the drama your mum and whoever the fuck is making it out to be Amelia: it isn't a drama that you got so drunk you had to be medically emptied out after being brought in by a stranger, no of course not Amelia: anything could have happened to you but why the fuck would that matter Jac: clearly I was surrounded by nice people Jac: I wasn't in a crack den Amelia: you wouldn't tell me if you were Amelia: unless you had a joke you could make out of it Jac: I appreciate that you find me so amusing Jac: I'm not making jokes, there is just nothing to actually be said about any of it Amelia: Fine, we'll go back to not talking Jac: don't let me ruin your good time Amelia: it's a bit late for that advice, thanks anyway Jac: amazing Jac: way to make my hospital stay about you Amelia: how could I? It's all about Savannah fucking Moore, as always Jac: so you wanted to be the one I drank myself into a coma for Jac: I'm so sorry Jac: I'll try again next time and leave a note shouting you out Amelia: no you won't, because that would involve telling people about me Amelia: I might as well not exist Jac: 'cos I'm going around telling EVERYONE that this is about her Amelia: it's never been any secret how I feel about you or that I need you even though you don't need me Amelia: and you could've fucking died or something Jac: seriously Amelia: yeah Jac: it's bullshit if you actually believe that Jac: and you're not just saying it Amelia: all of this is bullshit Jac: I'm a fucking mess Jac: I hit you up all the time Jac: why do you need me to spell it out to you Jac: hire a fucking skywriter Amelia: none of it matters because when things actually matter, like this, you don't Jac: because I'm not fucking okay Jac: that doesn't mean that I don't those other times Amelia: I know that Jac: you clearly don't Jac: it means nothing Jac: then fuck it Amelia: it doesn't mean nothing Jac: it's so fucking Jac: infuriating Jac: I haven't talked to anyone else in person for so long Jac: and I barely do it in writing now either Jac: don't pretend you don't know that means something just to fit your narrative Amelia: what to do want me to say? or do? Amelia: I've spent ages worried about you even before this and there's nobody I can talk about it with because you won't Amelia: I don't get to be upset because it's Christmas and we're not friends and I'm over it, that's the narrative for everybody else Amelia: then I hear this and it's no big deal to you, apparently Jac: just not be so fucking dense Jac: at least when you're talking to me, you don't need to pretend that now Jac: what would you like me to say? how fucking vile it was having to bring up my entire stomach contents, what it smelt like? how terrifying it was to be there on my own? Jac: or what can I do for you now? start sobbing about how out of control my life is, repent, promise to change and be different? Amelia: I've already lost you once because of her, I can't do it again Amelia: especially not like that Jac: I can't stop loving her Jac: I can't stop it hurting Jac: all of us Amelia: I can't stop loving you Amelia: and she isn't going to force me to when she isn't even fucking here Jac: There's no point blaming her Jac: if she didn't know, before I showed her how I felt Jac: she didn't know about you and me Amelia: and you think I'm dense Jac: I don't think she's perfect Jac: not completely Amelia: it's progress Jac: shut up Jac: I'm sorry, alright, I wouldn't have told you, you wouldn't have needed to be worried Amelia: I'm worried by all the things you don't tell me Amelia: where you go and what you do when you're not 'hitting me up' Jac: it's not as if you'd wanna hear it though Jac: you want me to stop, like everyone does Jac: but I just Jac: I can't Amelia: I don't want to hear it because I know it's not what you really want Jac: I can't have what I want Amelia: you can't have her, it doesn't mean you have to have that Jac: None of it was real Jac: but it doesn't erase all that time, what was said and done and felt Jac: not for me Amelia: of course it doesn't Jac: it's like I'm trapped Jac: I can't go back but I'm just left here, she's left me here and all of the things we were going to do and be together aren't going to happen Jac: I'm not going to be that person but I'm not the same as before Amelia: it's like she killed you, you have to grieve Jac: I don't like who I am now Jac: without her Amelia: you said it, you're a mess Amelia: not much about that for a virgo to like Jac: this is just another day in the life for you is it Jac: 🦂 Amelia: it's not about me Amelia: how you feel about you Jac: it's no secret I CLEARLY hate myself Amelia: it'd be the worst kept secret ever if it was Jac: so yeah, it's nice to flip the script, have people think maybe I hate them instead Jac: I ruined Christmas because I hate you all, like, yeah, fine Amelia: maybe Cammie's brothers are little enough to fall for it Jac: it's surprising how effective playing at being a coma patient is for the cause Amelia: everyone knows you're hurting instead of hating Jac: alright Jac: sounding like a cringe 90s rnb love song is not cute Amelia: I'm not cute today Jac: have you got your serious face on to match your tone Amelia: my parents have and if you can't beat them, join them Jac: did your nan say something homophobic and they forgot to call her out on your behalf? Amelia: I'm grounded because of what you did, that's what passes for logic in this 🏠 Amelia: they haven't stopped talking about it or trying to overhaul my life Jac: oh great Jac: I'll not be able to see you too now Amelia: they've told me to stay in, they can't make me Amelia: you can see me whenever you want to Jac: your parents are actually sensible, if leaning towards over-protective Jac: they'll get a restraining order Jac: or me sectioned, if they can really sell it Amelia: they don't know about us Amelia: you're fine Jac: they know they don't want you being my friend Amelia: they don't want me getting hospitalised, that's all Amelia: they know if we were still friends I'd look after you and vice versa Jac: it isn't catching, it's alcohol poisoning Jac: can we go to the beach Jac: we've obviously missed the official swim but I want to Amelia: they did run out of Christmas drinks because I never got around to replacing what we stole and I did have to take sole blame, so that's where they think I'm heading Amelia: but yeah, we can go to the beach Jac: their friends always could put it away Amelia: and I wasn't even drunk last night Amelia: because I'd already had a lecture Jac: how drunk did you get on Christmas day then Amelia: it's not my fault they all stop at a couple of glasses Amelia: or want to my life a competition vs the child or children of every single person my parents know Amelia: 🥱🙄 Jac: you didn't know miracle was a lifetime obligation as well as a fancy title? Jac: gutted Amelia: did I hit you up, no, therefore I CLEARLY wasn't drunk enough Jac: Charming Amelia: 😏 Jac: you know, when I get drunk, I make really bad choices/nearly die Amelia: not always Amelia: and I might've given my cousin my phone so I didn't send you anything, okay? I'm that 😳🤓 Jac: She blatantly wanted to nose at all your private texts anyway Jac: I wouldn't trust any of mine as far as I can throw them Amelia: she'd have to steal my fingerprint, I definitely wasn't that drunk Jac: don't you delete them after? Jac: amateur Amelia: what would I do when you aren't talking to me if I did, read a book? Jac: you're quick with the recommendations for me, so yeah Amelia: I get enough migraines without encouraging them Jac: 😏 Jac: we definitely shouldn't be friends then Amelia: that's not even in the top 10 of reasons why we shouldn't Jac: again, so polite Amelia: come on, you know I'll break any amount of rules Jac: it's not supposed to be adding to the fun of it, like Amelia: fuck supposed to as well Jac: alright Jac: but I ain't going out and getting drunk tonight Jac: I feel inside out still Amelia: what do you want to do then? Jac: I don't know Jac: let's just start with the beach and I'll see Amelia: okay Jac: what do you wanna do Amelia: I only give a shit about seeing you Jac: It might take me a while to get out Jac: goes without saying I'm more than grounded Jac: one pair of 👀 on me at all times Amelia: that kind of wait won't kill me Jac: alright Jac: I'll think of something Amelia: remember a coat this time, yeah? Amelia: I can't lend you any more without literally taking the one off my own back Jac: oh no Amelia: you didn't nearly die in my coat, did you? Jac: I was wearing it Jac: but I don't have it now Amelia: oh Jac: I do remember where I was, I wasn't that gone when I arrived Jac: but I don't wanna go back, I can give you the address? Amelia: do I want to go there or should I just hit the sales? Jac: yeah Jac: consider it a late christmas present? Amelia: wait, my late Christmas present isn't that you didn't die? Jac: you're glad, aren't you, that's a gift Jac: but I also meant money for a coat, that's only fair, if anything Amelia: I can afford my own replacement coat Jac: alright Jac: but I did lose it Amelia: I lent it to you, if it was that precious to me, I wouldn't have Amelia: and my mum will be thrilled I'm asking to go shopping Jac: yeah, true enough Jac: what did you get her for christmas? Amelia: [something her basic mum would actually love because she only had to buy for her parents so might as well go in] Jac: wow, daughter of the year much Amelia: I'm their only daughter, there's no contest Jac: all I got mine was a nervous breakdown so you know Amelia: I did that last year, you know, before it was cool Jac: 🤓 Amelia: I'm sorry that you didn't invent pining Jac: I'm not pining though, you can have that Amelia: I don't want it Jac: I'm sorry you invented pining Amelia: I didn't, I just happen to be amazing at it Jac: or bad at it, depending on your outlook Amelia: well yeah Jac: I look awful Amelia: how do you feel? Jac: awful Jac: at least there's no disparity there Amelia: you've nailed it, along with the majority Jac: start as the year will go on, no matter my intentions or otherwise Jac: fucking hell Amelia: I look great, you've been warned Jac: 😂 Amelia: 👧🏻 Jac: at least it isn't bowl-esque now Jac: like your xmas throwback Amelia: I knew you'd like that Jac: that santa is creepy looking though Jac: your face says it all Amelia: 😂 Jac: how likely do you think any of my siblings are to cover for me right now Amelia: 🤔 very unlikely Jac: distract and run it is Amelia: can you even 🏃 the state you're in? Jac: They gave me IV, I'm technically in my prime, thank you Amelia: carry on Jac: you don't have to come Amelia: I want to though Jac: alright Amelia: okay Jac: [I think she should ask Jesse to cover but whatever the outcome of that convo let us say you do get out somehow and you can go to the beach] Amelia: [yeah even if he won't, find a way gal] Jac: [have your nice moment] Amelia: [it's deserved, well not really because you ruined christmas and new year's but Savannah ruined everything first so it kind of is lol] Jac: [it's what being a teen is all about henny] Amelia: [not this teen, I was a goody two shoes] Jac: [my boo is too good she would never lmao, I did so] Jac: [I think they should have a nice time but then someone/someone's parents is at the beach so she's like well bye] Amelia: [that's very valid because you lowkey wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing someone either they know from school or Amelia's parents know the parents of] Jac: [exactly, it's an easy way to end things before anything really has to be said or done so tah everyone] Amelia: [I hope you're both going home, we don't need any more drama immediately] Jac: [my boo says get your ass back home] Amelia: [mhmm] Jac: [she has nowhere to be so I'm sure she's going back to bed lol] Amelia: [get your arse back home too Amelia even though I'm sure that girl has text you at Christmas and New Year's] Jac: [at least you weren't at the beach gal] Amelia: [I 100% vote you do see her when school starts though even though she in the year above and would have to seek you out lol] Jac: [my boo says let her have it] Amelia: [we do love the jealousy always] Jac: [mhmm] Amelia: [not letting you date her though because she actually seems to like you so that'd be rude] Jac: [only jac and savannah can do that lol] Amelia: [Savannah do like this boy cos he reminds her of Jac remember LOL] Jac: [lmao]

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florida unemployment insurance

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florida unemployment insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I got my first speeding ticket the other day.. 70 in a 50. I'm 20 and only a few months away from turning 21 (when rates go down a little). I know there are other things that factor in to this but how much can I expect my insurance rates to go up? Should I pay the court fines and just request supervision to keep it off of my record?

Insurance for a Car Loan..?

The thing is.. I have just recently gotten my aunt to co-sign for a loan on a 2001 Chrysler Sebring lxi. Me and my boyfriend will be the ones who have the car, but me on the other hand, I currently have a Learners Permit so i'm unable to drive it but my boyfriend has a license therefore he can. So for the Financial Company who is loaning us the money has me on file because i'm the only one with income since he doesn't have a job. The problem i have is that the financial company has my information but I can't get insurance for myself as i will not be driving the car, ONLY my boyfriend. So my question is, since i hold a learners permit and he has the license and will be driving, can i just put his name for the insurance? The financial company asked for Proof of Insurance but i don't know if they'll allow him to have the insurance in his name since the loan is in mine? I don't want to get denied because of that one factor since i already got accepted for the loan. I'm sorry, i'm new at all at this :/ Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!""

How much will the insurance company give me for my car?

i was crashed into by another driver who has accepted full responsibility, my car was a vw polo 1.2 e it had done 55,000 miles and was a 53 plate. does anyone know how much they will offer me? im really worried im going to get completely ripped off and i only brought it a few months ago and the crash wasn't my fault at all. thanx for any help :)""

2012 subaru wrx insurance rate?

I am looking to get a 2012 subaru wrx. I am 17 and i am part of my family's all state insurance plan. I have never had an accident and i live in New York. What kind of price should i be looking at. I was told that because the car has a turbo it increases the insurance rate even though it is a four door four cylinder car. Thanks for the help.

Insurance for new driver?

For a new male driver that just got their permit, which car would have cheaper insurance? 2013 Audi A6 3.0T or a 2000 Corvette convertible Most people's first responses are the Corvette, because it is a sports car. However, it has only slightly more power than the Audi, and is worth less than half of what the Audi is. Both cars are titled under the same persons name, if that makes a difference. Would the difference in value make the Corvette's insurance cheaper, or will it still be higher?""

Insurance rates for 19 year old?

what would the insurace rates be for a 19 year old driving one of these cars. all cars would be sedan (4-door) models. 03-04 honda civic 97-01 subaru impreza RS 96-98 BMW 318 94+ acura integra 98-01 honda accord 00-03 nissan sentra

""Got rear ended and no car insurance. will the at faults insurance contact me, or should i contact them?

i have no insurance. i got rear ended today and my car is trashed. will the guys insurance company contact me? should i go to the police station and get a copy of the drivers info and contact their insurance? i dont want medical comp. i just want my car fixed.

My girlfriends car insurance has been cancelled by the insurer!?

my girlriends insurer has sent a letter to my girlfriend saying that they have made a mistake with her insurance after she has been driving for about 3 weeks. they say that she now has to pay 12000 or cancel her insurance. the issue is that they have already taken 780 of her. and also if she cancels her insurance she will not be able to getanother reasonable quote again! My question is is it illegal for them to do this!? and how do we go about getting it back without her next quoting flying through the roof?

What things increase the cost of car insurance?

im 21 and the quotes are huge!! help!

Can my apartment management include premiums of renters insurance on my rent ?

The complex I live in requires that each tenant have renters insurance because the management suffered losses from damages as a result of the tenants' negligence. I want to have the freedom to choose the company that I buy it from -- but they want to increase my rent in order to cover for the premiums. The management company in turn buys a policy for each unit. Can they do that ? I live in California.

Rear ended someone with the same insurance (AAA California). Deductible is waived. Who pays for damages?

If insurance pays for damages to their car, will my premium increase? The estimate of damages is larger than my deductible but since it is only cosmetic damages is it worth the risk ...show more""

What is TRULY the cheapest car insurance?

I am looking to get a second car and I really want to know what the cheapest insurance is. (I am 17, so the insurance will be high anyway) There are tons of commercials for Esurance, Progressive, Allstate, etc, etc but really what is the cheapest? I'm just looking for liability insurance, nothing else, bare minimum. Have any of you switched to one, and what have you saved? Thank you!!""

Motorbike Insurance 600cc ~ 1000cc?

Iam 24 years old ( will do the bike test later this year ) I would just like a rough figure on what would it cost the insurance for these bikes. CB 600 hornet HONDA CBR 1000 KAWASAKI Z1000 KAWASAKI ER 650 YAMAHA R1 YAMAHA R6 Iam asking because iam abroad and i cant do the quotes else i would not loose time asking If someone could be kind enough to help out just with a near figure iwould gladly apreciate the help.

What are average caar insurance prices for an 18 year old?

just need some numbers for the price for the whole yaer

Life Insurance :?

can i stop paying my premium and get back the amount i paid for? . I took insurance for 15 yr. Already 2 years over. Is ther any option to get the invested money back?

What is a good website to compare auto insurance rates?

Can i get car insurance on someone elses policy?

I'm 19. I live with my sister in Detroit, MI. Can I get car insurance on my dad's policy if he lives in a different city then me? or on anyone elses policy? Im not talking about full coverage, I mean plpd, no coverage Thanks..""

My own insurance if i file independent?

Im 18, if no one claims me as a dependent on their taxes (so i claim independent), will I be taken off my parents insurance? and if so, is it health or life insurance or both? and what are the best insurance options for me if i have to get my own?""

Car Insurance Help Please?

So do you have to pay for insurance even if you don't own a car but have a license?

Trying to get a car insurance quote?

I'm trying to get a car insurance quote online and they ask some questions i don't know what they mean like: 1-anti-brakes? (what this means) 2-defensive driver course? (what this means)

Good medical insurance?

im in need of good medical insurance company that is affordable we do not qualify for government aid or medical coverage any suggestion our family consist of two children me and my husband??? we are self employed please help kaiser just raised our rates

How much more will my insurance charge me?

I'm about to get my license at age 18 and I want to buy a really nice turbo charged car...how much more will it be vs a non turbo car

florida unemployment insurance

""Car insurance help, cost per month?""

I got in a fender bender and it was my fault, the guys bumper got a little bent on one side. it was supposed to be done without insurance but thats another story! he quoted me 800. how much will this affect my insurance monthly? im 19 and drive a honda civic""

Does medicaid take someones life insurance money AFTER they die?

My father used medicaid briefly, i think some hospital and a few months in a nursing home...before he died. My mother and father had very little, didnt even own their home. My mom is afraid to have life insurance on HER, because she was told that after HER death...medicaid would try and take whatever she has....including a life insurance policy on her....which of course I'm the only son would recieve it. There is nothing else, she rents a small apartment and is making payments on a car...so its not really hers either. we live in MISSOURI...""

""What are the medical tests, i have to go for insurance?""

what are the medical tests,i have to go for insurance, please provide a link if possible""

Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?

How much will my car insurance go down when I turn 25?

I have a clean record with no tickets and multiple coverages (auto,home,motorcycle). How much though will my insurance go down on average after turning 25?""

What is the average auto mileage per year?

Farmers Insurance says that it is 22,000 and I don't believe them for a second""

Could a 17 year old new driver get insurance for a 1.8-2.0 litre?

Hi... If i was to get a car lets say a 1.8 to a 2.0 litre could i put this car on one of my parents policies and be able to get affordable insurance... My parents have many years no claims discount... Would the insurance firm grant me permission to be insured for a car with a big engine under my parents policy? I was thinking of a VW golf Gti (Mk3) or maybe an old BMW ... Please don't suggest sh!t cars like puntos,saxos nd all those because they are for the boy racers...""

If I get my g2 will my parents insurance rise?

I would like to get my g2 in october, but not get insurance and start driving alone until november. Would this raise my parents insurance from just getting my g2. Also, if i have an 80% avg at midterm, will it lower the cost of insurance? If yes then would a 90 avg lower the insurance cost even more?""

How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?

Who will be responsible for my dad's car wreck/Will my insurance premium go up?

I let my mom borrow my car to get to work for about 6 months. I knew she had it, I never insured it and neither did she. My dad is abusive and tries to contol everyone and their possessions (my car, my apartment, my bf's car). He hit a local business and caused 15k of damage. He has never worked and my mom just recently started a job-I have had to work for everything in my life and I'm frustrated with always being taken advantage of. My dad was taken away from the scene in an ambulance, the owner's of the property he hit never received his name or contact info. Since the car is registered to me, am I liable? Although it was his accident, will my future car insurance premium go up because of this?""

Can i get insurance on a bike at 16?

i have a pedal bike its 20in i have paid almost 1800 for i built it myself and i was woundering if i could get some type of insurance for it like if it gets stolen. i live in michigan

What's the cheapest business auto insurance company?

There are different business auto insurance companies, I've heard Erie insurance is one of the best ones, do you know of any other companies that might be better or similar? thanks""

Any tips on how to avoid paying full coverage insurance on a motorcycle while financing it?

My friend has been financing a motorcycle and he just did his policy online and put down that he owned the motorcycle..and only put liability on it.. Is this a good way to get around the system?

Help! Being sued for auto accident and my liability was too low. What can happen?

I just received notice from my insurance co that I am being sued for an accident that I was at fault in last summer. At the time, there were no injuries reported and we each were able to drive away. It was a very low speed accident and I was allowed to take a driving class in lieu of a ticket. Now I get notice that I am being sued for $100,000. My liability limits were only $25,000. The insurance company is asking for more info and said they will provide an attorney, but since I would be liable for $75,000, should I retain my own attorney? Should I be worried? Also I was just about to sell my home (has very little equity by the way). Am I still allowed to sell once I am served? What happens if they win? Will they attach my wages? I have no assets. Thanks so much for any help! I am about to have a nervous breakdown!!!""

When do you have to get your own health insurance? ?

im 17 will soon be turning 18 and will be starting college in the fall . i have a medical card and im under my moms health plan/insurance. but when do i branch off to get my own insurance/plan ??

My mums with the AA car insurance what are the likely implications for canceling her insurance mid way?

my mum has paid annually (141 quid) lucky sod. and she is considering canceling it to add me to a cheaper car insurer as adding me on the AA insurance is MIND BLOWINGLY EXPENSIVE, (talking 5grand plus per annum) and with aviva its less than half that... but before she cancel she wants to make sure the AA have no hidden cost as all they state is a refund will be paid if insurance has been paid in full and a cancelation fee of 50 must be paid. thats all the information she could find but she wants to know if there are any hidden tricks insurers pull off if your try and cancel.... please help i know its a bit wordy.""

Will my insurance rate go down when I get my license? I have my learners permit?

I have my learners permit and i was paying about 120 a month in insurace, If I go get my license, will my insurance go down?""

""Car accident, how to get money from insurance company?""

one guy rear ended me on september 25th, but his insurance company still have not claimed yet. they said we have not contacted our insurer, so we can not claim this liability i call he and his insurance company to check what's going on, but they never pick up the their phone. what do i need to, shoul i call them to court (my car's mufflier and bumper broken, about $ 800 to fix it?""

When do car insurance rates drop?

At what age do car insurance rates drop? Currently I am a 20 year old male living in Kansas. Also what else will cause insurance to go down. If you get married, have kids, etc....? Thanks.""

""How to save more money as a teen, for a car and motorcycle?""

I'm about to turn 16, and would like to save up for a reliable, cheap (2k-4.5k), good-looking, car. It has to be American, or anything other than Honda, Subaru, Toyota, Lexus, Hyundai, etc. cause dad works for GM. I am paying for the car on my own, most likely, but maybe I can convince parents to pay 1k or so. Money is tight right now in my family. Dad got demoted last year during GM's bankruptcy, and may get a promotion in spring. My Mom is opening a restaurant this year, which is going to cost a lot. I got a job in November at a brand new Kroger grocery store, where I get minimum wage and cannot work over 16 hours per week because I'm only 15. I have saved a little over 1.2k in the bank. I also have invested $500 of my own money this year into stocks, which are up a little. This might sound dumb to some, but I have dreamed of buying a motorcycle. I want a Kawasaki Ninja 650R. AND YES, I KNOW INSURANCE COSTS MONEY, (FOR CAR AND MOTORCYCLE) I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I also need to plan on how to save for that. Any tips, help, and info would be great! Thanks so much.""

Where can I get the cheapest auto insurance?

Im a 16 year old male who lives in new orleans. I have a 3.8 GPA, and my car has a 5-star crash rating (2010 Toyota Camry Hybrid). Where can i get affordable insurance?""

Whats a cheap car insurance company for young adults?

Im 19 and im looking at buying a honda civic si 2006 right now im under my moms insurance and im paying 140 for liability only and ive been looking around and all i see is $300 and up for full coverage on a finaced car. I need a cheaper insurance company im a female and i live in florida if that helps.

When you pay off a credit card is it better to reduce the credit limit or close the account?

I've heard that once you pay off a credit card you shouldn't close the account to keep a good credit score. I've also heard that even though one pays off his credit card reducing the credit limit is also not a good option for keeping a great credit rating. What is the best way to handle this situation if you don't really want the card around to prevent you from running the balance up, but also don't want to hurt your credit rating. Is there any way to find out what exactly affects one's credit score? Examples: Let's just say a website or book states something like filing for bankruptcy subtracts XXXX amount of points from your credit rating. Defaulting on credit card payments for XXX amount of months subtracts XXX amount of points from your credit rating. Paying off federal student loans adds or subtracts XXXX amount of points from your credit rating. Also is there anywhere that states how long certain things stay on your credit report?""

Do you have too get insurance on rentacar?

do you need insurance on car rental

""Getting my new car, Challenger 2009, any insurance rates?""

How much would the APPROXIMATE insurance rate be on a 2009 Dodge Challenge R/T? I know it won't be low, but it won't be that high since it's an American car....correct? Her is the bad part...My record. 2 Accidents and a stop sign...But i will turn 18 soon if that matters. Car Info (another bad thing) 5.7 Liter V8 Hemi, 375 horses. How much is the Approximate insurance guys, just throw me an estimate.""

florida unemployment insurance

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/first-time-cars-cheap-insurance-luis-bell/"

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paulsolorzano · 5 years

Text

01.31.19

So when Axxxxx found out she was pregnant when we were in Fairbanks in Alaska we got a pregnancy app to chart the baby’s progress.

The baby was due two weeks ago.

I knew the date was coming up and it’s depressing to think about on multiple levels. Remind me to talk about it.

—-

Was supposed to hang with Cxxxxxxx tonite but Kxxxx actually wants to see me and was asking me about it so, I’m gonna have to get out of it with her.

Cxxxxxxxx hit me up on Facebook messenger asking if I still wanted to hang. I haven’t responded yet.

—-

Ive been to this Starbucks so many times that the guy Josh, calls me by my name when he sees me in the camera, and knows my drink here.

I don’t know what to think about that.

It speaks something about my habits of course. In a sense I was happy to hear my name and my drink, but it’s like goddam, is this my life?

—

I need to remind myself not to be the old server.

—

Still need to tell Cxxxxxxxx I need to take a rain check

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Jeff Rosenstock show and how inspiring it was

Not having a baby with Axxxxx instead of having one

“Don’t be the old server”

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.30.19

I can’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up; it doesn’t matter because I’m not whatever it was.

This storage space elevator smells like sweaty bodies.

-//

Plugging along on the I-4 westbound. Something up the way is really holding up the traffic. Luckily I have my music.

Aaron Tobin called me to let me know his (and our to an extent) boy Todd, died of a massive heart attack. He was Tobins age, 39 maybe 40.

To be fair this guy was huge his whole life and also on drugs. He had he heart attack in jail from what I understand. He turned himself in for a warrant he had going.

Wild shit. Living long enough for people to be dying around us

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Jeff Rosenstock show and how inspiring it was

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“ It’s like somebody traded out my skin, for something I could never feel good in” -Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.29.19

Jeff Rosenstock tonite. I finagled three tickets from a friend online, for me and Danielito and Kristy, but unfortunately they can’t make it.

So I’m going solo. Asked a couple girls on the roster but no luck so far. And it’s that time. So I’ll be forging on alone.

Gotta get earplugs.

—-

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“ we’ll diffuse bombs, run marathons, and take on whatever together” - Grandaddy

“Wizards, stop throwing fruit at me!” - Reggie and the full effect

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.28.19

Monday. I’m off. Had plans with Mxxxx in the morning but she’s taken ill.

I tentatively have plans with Kxxxx tonite, which I need to attempt to solidify tonite. Ok, the text has been sent: “hangs tonite?”

Easy enough.

She already asked about Monday on Sunday morning after Saturday night hangs and bangs.

Waiting on her response. Listening to Mary Hopkin. This shit is my new shit, which is old shit like back in 1969. Produced by Paul McCartney is definitely why I like it.

—-

Of course this is all happening at my storage space. This is where I hang currently. Since I’ve been back to Orlando. I hang here with my shit and wrote and do art and catalogue and attempt to trim down and move shit around to maximize the space.

—

So back to the Kxxxx thing, she’s ill too. Everyone is sick for some reason. I’ve always been a carrier, rarely getting ill myself.

—

Had a conversation with Cxxxxxxxx. She was upset about a week ago when she perceived me to be placing blame on her when she couldn’t hang out spur of the moment.

So I waited almost a week and she didn’t text or message me once.

So I wrote her. She’s pretty much embittered by a lot of previous bull shit that other people have heaped on to the pile.

Now I suffer for the sins of the last person.

To be fair she was super in to me when we met and I sort of nipped the ‘let’s hop into a relationship immediately after she gets out of one’ enthusiasm in the bud.

So, she seems to be indifferent to me, and more broadly, people in general. Hard to say.

I don’t really need to put that much emotional energy into it, as I have other more interested coals in the fire.

But she’s grown on me. So there’s that.

I’m not trying to abandon any of the women I get involved with.

Do I want to commit to any of them fully? At present, no.

And naturally I think of Axxxxx. Always her. She blew my hair back. I blew it with her.

—-

There’s a cute Hispanic girl in this Denny’s right now, sitting alone and watching Futurama. I keep glancing over there to watch.

Also the girl who just came in for her shift at 11:00 has just left hurriedly in tears. I have no damn clue what the hell happened.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Blink-182 enema of the state

Weezer - blue album

Mary Hopkin - post card

Deadmau5 - Polar: Music from the Netflix film

Dream tiger - dream tiger

Lorn - ask the dust

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Reggie and the full effect - songs to not get married to

Reggie and the full effect - promotional copy

Big business - command your weather

Piebald - we are the only friends that we have

Watching:

Step Brothers

Reading:

Eating:

Denny’s mozzarella sticks and coffee

Playing:

Purchases:

Paul McCartney Wings 45s

Record sleeves for 33s and 45s

Packages received:

Jeff rosenstock - POST casette

Wings - silly love songs 45 rpm

Mary hopkin- those were the days 45 rpm

Snow White seven dwarves figs

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Welcome to your life; there’s no turning back” - tears for fears

“ I’m like everybody else; as a shamed of sleep I lie when a phone call wakes me” - WHY?

Quote of the day:

“This house is a prison! On planet Bullshit!” - Brennan and Dale, Step Brothers

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.27.19

Cold and wet all day today. Truly a day where it rained all day.

Spent the night at Kxxxx’s house. Who’s Kxxxx you ask? She is from the internet dating app OkCupid. I broke one of my own rules and slept over there. And this was last night, which was also the first night i met her in person and also the first time we had sex.

I say the first time assuming there will be more times. She and I definitely get along. It’s weird because she reminds me of Holly D in several ways.

First off Kxxxx body is kind of shaped like Holly’s. She’s taller than I am. Big tits and ass. Back tattoo from what I could gather

01.26.19

I do everything high these days. I’m here at Orlando you and comic con hittin the pen hard. Already smoked before I left the house.

This con is good because it’s smaller and I can make trips back to the car to bring back stuffs I’ve gotten. So I don’t have to roll around with a backpack.

—-

At chipotle now. Had to drive to get here. Just up the road from the mall. I don’t know if I’ll go back to the con. Technically it goes til 7 but idk.

—-

Spent a lot of fucking money today but I knew that was happening

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Basia Bulat - good advice

Weezer - teal album

The octopus project

Peter Adams - the spiral eyes

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“This is a womanly car” - me taking about Tina Watkins car that I drive around like an asshole.

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.25.19

I put the coins that I had organized fell yesterday into the sheets, I stuck them and the paper money into a three ring binder I got from Office Depot yesterday.

I don’t want to work today but I must.

Until I innovate my way out of this, I have to work for the man. Remember that you asshole, the next time you cry about it.

—-

Chilled at the space and made some room for stuff. Slowly and surely ditching stuff

—-

got called off from work today in a Friday. I haven’t worked all week because reasons. I asked for a couple days off to to the Neil DeGrasse Tyson thing, and the Orlando toy and comic con thing. I didn’t get get the two days off when Yaqeen did the schedule because he’s a Derp and does everything by hand. So I had two other days off, and then got the two off that I needed by dropping the shifts. So I ain’t done shit all week. I’m gonna continue that trend into tomorrow at the con.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Wings - band on the run

Katamari forever OST

Buffalo daughter - captain vapour athletes

Weezer - teal album

Nada surf - the weight is a gift

Basia Bulat - good advice

The Beatles - magic mystery tour

No joy - wait to pleasure

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“you’re not wide anymore; you’re skinny fat” - Yaqeen talking about me

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.24.19

Been on the pen/flower pretty solid since October when I got back from Alaska. Hell, even Alaska I was on the wax daily.

I guess I’ve been medicating myself.

Working on a sketch. I missed a couple days but I did one last night also:

Ok and here’s today’s:

I’m trying to find my groove with what I want to do with all these sketches. Basically I’m just sketching shit I see.

Sketching? Drawing? I don’t even know what to say here haha.

And I made another

—-

Going to see Neil DeGrasse Tyson tonite. This will be the third time I’ll have seen him.

I was hoping Axxxxx would be in the mix at this point because she was with me the first two times. Now, if I hadn’t have fucked up recently, she probably would be with me tonite. Goddammit me. So, my one and only boy Tobin is gonna come with me.

It’ll be nice because we haven’t seen each other in a hot minute. Ever since he got that girlfriend of his haha. Now they are in that ‘up each other’s ass’ phase.

Update: it would seem Neil will not be speaking tonite after all. Amidst recent allegations in the last few months, he postponed/canceled his shows: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/12/13/neil-degrasse-tyson-cancels-orlando-appearance-following-sexual-misconduct-accusations%3fmedia=AMP%2bHTML

So that is sad fucking news, especially since I’m finding out today and not a month and a half ago. I mean I knew about the allegations but didn’t think it would come to this.

Another thing that chapped me is that Aaron Tobin fucking bailed on me before I found this out. Granted I only asked him yesterday but damn he seems to let me down a lot when there’s a specific date and time involved.

—/

I put my paper money and coin collection in these plastic inserts

Now the only thing that blows about these inserts is that the tops don’t seal, so this shit has to be flat or upright at all times. This isn’t too bad for the paper money but clearly there could be an issue for the coins. I later got a three ring binder to stick the inserts in.

Also I took pics of all the packages received today. Mostly records.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Weezer - teal album

Veil of Maya - false idol

Black octopus lipstick project - foam party

The octopus project

CSS - Cansei de Ser Sexy

OCEANLANE - crossroad

The Vienna philharmonic - Beethoven’s 5th symphony

No joy & sonic boom - ep

Teddybears - soft machine

Watching:

Rick and Morty season 3 blu ray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Weezer black album vinyl pre order (2 colors)

Weezer black album cassette pre order

Packages received:

Lots of records from joyful noise

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.23.19

The first Amanda messaged me today accusing me of stealing her loop station. I never took the thing at all. Haven’t even thought of the thing for years. She said she is gonna to file a report and mention my name to the police.

I don’t know what her deal is.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

WHY? - sandollars ep

Marijuana deathsquads - oh my sexy lord

STNNNG - empire inward

Vaz - necessary, pt. 2

Alias & doseone - less is orchestra

The octopus project

Peter Adams - the spiral eyes

Teddy bears - soft machine

Gnarls Barkley - st. Elsewhere

Veil of Maya - false idol

Mary Hopkin - post card

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“Hey if a serial killer/murderer/etc fits the profile exactly but has never killed, what does that make them ?” Me to Mxxxx

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.22.19

Wish I could eat chips and get fat right now.

I went a million places today. The altamonte mall. Starbucks. These two were part of a date with Mxxxx, who I really enjoyed hanging with. She is married and its all legit. Like they both see other people and shit. So this could be good for me.

Then did the white girl tour to tj maxx and Ross. Also before that early in the afternoon after Mxxxx I went to bright light books.

Went a little overboard on buying shit today. Oops.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fail better heal faster

The octopus project

American football - LP3 pre release song

Wings - wings over America

Status quo - rocking all over the world

Xavier Cugat jungle drums

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Bright light books:

Art toy picture book

Avocado cookbook (for Mxxxx)

Wings: wings over America vinyl record

Omg thrift

These weird soft vinyl Snow White dwarves figures

Clear makeup bag with

Kay Johnson vinyl record (with writing on the cover, a dedication to two ladies named carol and Donna)

Ross

NASA shirt

Super NES controller shirt

Super Mario shirt

TJ MAXX

Vaporwave lookin Tokyo shirt

Vaporwave lookin eyes shirt

Marilyn Monroe skeleton with hair shirt

Black stretch pants 34 inch waist for the first time whoop!

These fake ass sweat pants

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“When I try to be clear with you, I only end up being see through” -American football

Quote of the day:

“When I put my Makeup on, I take so many selfies” - male barista at the Starbucks by the Altamonte mall

“My dad was awesome. He loved pistachios and Star Wars. Only imparted one of those loves onto me. He is no longer with us, but his memory lives on through red pistachios that also no longer exist.” - Mandyism

“The problem with that idea is that I don’t have a penis. I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be a fair game.” - Mandyism

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.21.19

The girl who works here only a couple days a week, Ebony, just took a tour of the inner workings of my storage space. This was her asking if she could look at my stuffs.

Today’s and yesterday’s sketch:

This of course being Buff Monster and Frank Kozik inspired; and my Bose sound speaker I’ve been doing and my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Oh and the motorcycle license plate from Alaska. I had a Tupperware full of em mixed, here’s the reference:

And then this was me and my McNugget kick of course. A packet of mayonnaise and a vinyl record, and the remote to the tv

—/

Spent a good chunk of the day chatting with some potential dates. Mostly with a girl named Mxxxx, who is in a consensual non-monogamous marriage. She has kids also. It’s weird because she seems really into me and we are meeting tomorrow at 12:30pm. I’m excited to see what comes of this.

-//

I’m so excited about finding this Picasso print at goodwill today:

Here it is hung up

And here it was right before I stuck it in the car to take it home.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Mineral - one day when we are young

Wizo - uuaarrgh!

Beck - morning phase

MF DOOM - operation doomsday

Tame impala

Sheena Ringo (as suggested by Ebony who works at public storage)

The octopus project

Tame impala - lonerism

Astronautica - Gemini

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV:

Did a nice glam on ALC also

Purchases:

Bougie goodwill off Orlando ave in winter park:

Pocahontas toy

Assorted comic books

Picasso framed print

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Steady like a tricycle”

“Hoes get ripped off like Nicorette”

“Every day feels like an off day, with Ferris bueller”

mf doom

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.20.19

In line at Animal Kingdom helping my boy Orlando get in with his family.

I’m parked in giraffe 41-49

It’s way too early for me to be awake.

And I have to work. Aaaand I’m covering some lunch shift for my other boy Tom who has been feeling ill.

—//

Did the animal kingdom thing.

Did the afternoon lunch work thing.

Got called off for dinner because it was slow apparently.

Came home and let the roommate use her own car that I’ve been renting weekly.

—

Still working on cleaning and bagging those 45s my mother left to me by way of Danielito

—

So, I would say it’s time for me to maybe make a shortlist of women I’m dating/working on dating. I’ve got a few hat I’ve closed already and some still in the works so let’s see here:

(shortlist omitted)

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Animal Kingdom

Listening to:

The octopus project - hello avalanche

Hey Mercedes - ep

Hey Mercedes - everynight fireworks

No doubt - tragic kingdom

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

McNuggets

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.19.19

The last couple nights in a row, Yaqeen has called me and asked specifically what I have done to further the business, Deep Space Ventures. This is good and bad that the has asked me. Bad because I haven’t done jack shit; good because he is holding me accountable. And it is giving me a little hurt to not do anything. So I will have to forge ahead. He is trying to better himself and make me be better too. Good shit.

—-

I go to Dunkin’ Donuts just about every day to get a coffee. I stare at these fucking donuts and contemplate ordering a dozen and saying fuck all to my diet.

The moment had already passed.

I have to say I feel like I’m doing ok with this ketogenic diet.

—

Just saw a new white Honda Accord. Or was it a civic? Either way it reminded me of the second Amanda. Miss that chick too.

Remind me to tell you about the second Amanda sometime.

Sketch of the day:

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

The octopus project - hello avalanche

The octopus protect - one ten hundred thousand million

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Action figures

Lyric of the day:

“For all we know, these days are all numbered But things could get better I know Cause I'll be the first and the last one to go Lord it's a cruel, cruel world For all we know These days are all numbered And things will get better I hope Cause I'll be the first and the last one to go Lord it's a cruel, cruel world without love”

- further seems forever

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.18.19

Sketch of the day: I was doing laundry at a mat on Mills right there by colonial. The 7-Eleven recently closed down after being there for fucking ever. So I sat there in between the wash and the dry.

I don’t know what I’m hoping to accomplish with these sketches other than practicing. I would like to get to a decent level.

Something to do while I’m alive.

It’ll come in handy when I start making the toys also. Good stuff for cardbacks

—

Donated some more shit. Slowly clearing it out. Gonna list some

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fail better heal faster

ALL - problematic

Rex Orange County - apricot princess

Mineral - the power of failing

Wings - Venus and Mars

Sparklehorse - it’s a wonderful life

J Dilla - welcome 2 Detroit

JJ DOOM - Key to the kuffs

Duendita - direct line to my creator

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Packages received:

Mineral 25 years and new single

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Slap my face, just to feel” - Jimmy Eat World

“May all your days be gold my child” - Sparklehorse

“Come my beautiful alien, touch me with your light” - Weezer

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.17.19

Sketch of the day locked in; I did Orko from masters of the universe, from the action figure I found yesterday:

And of course the source material

So I’m on my way to sketching I suppose. Leveling up my art abilities?

—

Minus the bear farewell concert:

My brother and I caught MTB on their farewell tour in Tampa back in November I think it was? I’ll have to check the date.

Anyway it was nice to spend time with him at a concert out and about. It was part of my attempt to stop being a dead beat sibling.

He and I have seen them numerous times over the years.

—

I ReDennised Andrea Zimmerman just now. Remind me to go and append the list. Stuck on I-4 traffic on the way home from her place.

My exit was closed for construction so I had to take a big ass detour. I dint even care but I thought it was notable.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

J Dilla - donuts

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Quasimoto - the further adventures of lord quas

AJJ - bible 2

Wings - at the speed of sound

Ok go - ok

Trent reznor - bird box original score

Ok go - oh no

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Wheat grass juice powder

Boston market

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.16.19

The fucking stench of fake buttered popcorn. The Altamonte Springs mall. This is my current hip spot to hang out alone at.

Escape as a coping mechanism.

I pretend I’m just this guy who goes through life as an observer. Which I’m not really too far from pretending lately.

—-

You only ever see kids with short haircuts. Short little asshole haircuts.

—/

“Found a couple discounted figs,

Sat in the massage chair with no massage,

Renamed all the restaurants in the food court 'sugar',

Decided I want subscriptions to art and toy themed magazines,

And coffee. “ - excerpt of a text from Cxxxxxxxx asking me how the mall was.

—-

Sketch of the day is done:

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Bomb the music industry - adults

Bomb the music industry - get warmer

The arrogant sons of bitches - The arrogant sons of bitches!

Fail better, heal faster

Deftones - gore

The strokes - is this it

Jaylib - champion sound

In my room Apple Music playlist

Favorites playlist Apple Music

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/cucumber/lemon juice/stevia drink also been adding carrot and beet lately

Starbucks venti cold brew with heavy cream and an espresso shot

Chicken nuggets from McDonald’s

Cauliflower Mac and cheese I made

Top shoulder loin

Shrimp on top

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Super 7 Masters of the universe action figures:

Orko

Evil-Lyn

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Mold and nice and stolen bikes

And a van everyone wants to break in to” - slumlord by bomb the music industry!

“Well I heard that you found somebody else

At first I thought it was a lie” - the 1975

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.15.19

Fake funny depression. Meme depression. People taking some dark shit and slapping an out of context caption and making light of it.

It’s not the worst idea.

Yeah everything is shit sometimes but do I want to off myself because I don’t have a pile of money to sleep on?

The answer is hell to the no.

—-

Yaqeen set it up last night so I didn’t have to work today. Corporate is in town and I’m just avoiding it all haha. Next few days off also. So that’ll take care of that.

What I need to do now is attempt to pick up at Yamasan just to have a couple extra bucks.

Just spoke to tobin briefly; he is definitely up his girlfriends ass haha. I’m ok with it. I suppose it’ll do some good for him seeing as it’s been forever since he’s: a)had a girlfriend b) gotten laid on the reg.

Also spoke to Frank; Microchip passed away very recently. His dog of 13 years or so. Back when Daylight District was still in effect.

Remind me to tell you about when I was in bands.

—-

Naomi Singleton ‘broke up’ with me today. We only met the one time. After months of talking. She didn’t like being deceived by my fake age on Okc. Also she claims she broke out in cold sores after seeing me and kissing me. I’ve never had a single sore anywhere so unless I’m some wild carrier, she is mistaken.

Her perception is her reality however. And I did burn her with the age thing.

I’m considering putting my age to normal age.

—

Made a first sketch today. The storage space wall and the table with some shit on it

So hopefully I can try to do one a day for fun. I went to Michaels as well and picked up a few gel pens.

Remind me to tell you where all my art supplies are. (Spoiler alert; they’re being held hostage by Axxxxx if she hasnt chucked em out. If anything she’s probably assimilated them into her own art shit.

—-

Just saw a hotpot place I’ve never seen before here on kirkman. Instantly thought of going there with Axxxxx. I miss her.

—

Went on a date

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Spoke to Frank about letting him know what I’ve been up to

To discuss still:

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Ale house in Kirkman for a date

Listening to:

PUP - PUP

PUP - the dream is over

PUP - kids (single off the new record)

Deadmau5 - for lack of a better name deadmau

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

First Astronomical Velocity - galaxy one

NOFX - punk in drublic

NOFX - Pump up the Valiuum

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

THE NEW PUP RECORD!! preorder

A couple books from brightlight books

Van Gogh in Arles

Knuckleheads graphic novel

The 100 best business books of all time

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“The universe is unforgiving and a dick

So we’ll do our best to live” - fail better heal faster

“ You know I’ve never been good at anything

Except for fuckin up and ruining everything” - PUP

“We’re on an ultralight beam

This is a god dream” - Kanye West, life of Pablo

Quote of the day:

“I can turn you into poetry

But I can’t make you love me” - fragment 5, weatheredwritings

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.14.19

Tokyo Elvis, who is one of my best friends, Frank Friend, who I have played in multiple bands with since we were 16-17.

He wants me to undertake the tasks involving getting him booked in town and out.

We’ve decided that the Comic-Con circuit would be a good fit for him. Also it would be for me as well in terms of getting a booth for the paulsstoragespace shit.

So I’ve started the process of emailing various cons in town coming up

—

Just saw a guy throw a rubber hammer at a peacock. A sentence I never thought I would say.

—-

Like dead glow worms falling slowly through oil

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Bomb the music industry - vacation

Fail better, heal faster

Alpha male tea party - droids

Just friends - nothing but love

Just friends - rock 2 the rhythm

Cornelius - point

Walter Ferguson - Babylon

Darwin Deez - 10 songs that happened when you left me with my stupid heart

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Sleeves for paper money

Sleeves for coins

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“In truth, December destroyed me. January crushed me By February, I was not myself March rolled in like beatings and rolled out like a bear hug In April I stared out the window for a fucking month I don't want October. I don't want November I don't want to feel those crippling blows That I can't explain to myself, my friends or you So I soften them with hours of Nintendo”

-bomb the music industry

“Loving you required ammunition” - Darwin Deez

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.13.19

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Killer Bee - Venus

Steffaloo - heart beats

Lone - reality testing

Fail better, heal faster

Watching:

Ready player one

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

100 record sleeves for 7 inch records

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I came here with hope and I left with a smoking habit” - fail better, heal faster

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.12.19

Spoke with yaqeen at ihop last night. He is trying to become the assistant general manager at STK. He was speaking to a couple of the top servers and more specifically Rob C, and rob was telling Yaqeen to cut ties with being friends with servers and more specifically me.

Now yaqeen and I are boys at this point. So it ain’t happening. But it does sting a little to hear that I’m not very respected in that sense.

—

Made cauliflower Mac n cheese. It was pretty tasty for sure. Nice and Keto friendly.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Emailed a few venues concerning playing:

Herohype:

Emailed on 01.12.19

https://www.herohype.com

Omni fandom expo

Emailed on 1.12.19

http://www.omniexpo.com

MyCon

https://mystic-con.com

Emailed on 01.12.19

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

The presidents of the United States of America - S/t

The presidents of the United States of America - II

The cardigans - first band on the moon

Fail better, heal faster

PUP - the dream is over

Serengeti - Dennis 6E

Ricky eat acid - talk to you soon

Rozwell kid - precious art

Dorothy ashby - Afro harping

Serengeti - kaleidoscope 2 ep

Serengeti - Dennehy

Atmosphere - sad clown bad summer

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/cucumber/lemon juice/stevia drink

McDonalds 20 nuggets and a large Diet Coke ( this is the last time I swear )

Cauliflower ‘man n cheese’ that I made

Playing:

FFXIV - got ALC up to 50, working on getting LTW up to 50 also

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Superstar, I tried to educate your childish heart” - the cardigans

“You said it best when you said I’m a mess” - Rozwell Kid

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.11.19

Sitting here in Disney springs. I got here with an extra fifteen minutes or so; got a coffee and now I’m sitting on a bench watching people and life go by.

Picking out the weirdos and watching them. And the eccentric girls, for some reason they just appeal to me so hard, more so than conventional hot girls.

I need to make a move.

—-

After hours. Waiting on yaqeen to show up at this Ihop. He and I haven’t had one of these in a while. Hopefully he shows up haha. He said his phone was dying and he would meet me inside.

What i did toward the business today:

Listening to Tony Robbins power to influence

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Ihop with yaqeen

Listening to:

Fail better, heal faster

Angelo De Augustine - tomb

Bomb the music industry - vacation

1997 - a better view of the rising moon

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Tobacco - sweatbox dynasty

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Been on a huge chicken nugget for McDonald’s kick. Large diet cokes also. While they aren’t totally killing the diet, it’s probably not the best.

Tasted the Scallops special from work

Playing:

Purchases:

From fye all 75% off

Star Wars black series - Poe Dameron

Star Wars black series - Constable Zuvio

Pulp Fiction - Butch Coolidge, 8 inch tall approx

Super 7 Alien M.U.S.C.L.E. mini figs

From barnes and noble:

The new issue of Juxtapoz featuring Kaws on the cover

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I wanna move to Japan

And maybe I’ll understand

What to do with my life” - fail better, heal faster

Quote of the day:

“I don’t want it now, I want it right now” - Robert Davis GM STK

8 ball questions and answers:

“Is Axxxxx gonna come back to me at some point?”

“Yes”

Hashtags:

01.10.19

I’m on fucking autopilot. Just coasting through my days. Get back on track you asshole. Don’t be an old server. Have more than one income. Get some fucking momentum going.

How do I do this? What is my leverage to change? What will happen if I don’t do this?

I need to stir up some hurt within myself.

—-

How to innovate my way out of this? This place gives me no joy and therefore I am not giving it the attention it deserves.

—

I’ve been sent to Starbucks by Greg the manager to get a hot chocolate for a guest. I’m on a party upstairs and I won’t be missed. He gave me his debit card. I flirted with the girl who took my order. She was receptive.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Coheed and Cambria - good Apollo, I’m burning star IV

1997 - a better view of be rising moon

Cashmere cat - 9

Tony Robbins - the power to influence

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

PUP - the dream is over

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.09.19

What i did toward the business today:

Didn’t do a goddamn thing. Need to get on it

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Worked on the spam email

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Keep Shelly in Athens -

Death cab for cutie - transatlanticism

Weezer - pacific daydream

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I wish the world was flat like the old days

And I could travel just by folding the map” - death cab for cutie

“This is the sound of settling” - death cab for cutie

“‘Perfect’ always takes so long, because it don’t exist” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.08.19

Last night we had the STK makeup Christmas party for all the day-one-er’s. I almost didn’t go because I feel semi depressed and don’t wanna do shit all.

So we went and it was small but lost of the OG hang was there. Yaqeen of course and the lot.

We all just hung out drinking and roasting the shit out of each other.

Yaqeen and I are the roastmasters. He and I started this shit as a nice way to keep morale in the building at STK. And boy has it worked nicely.

Yaqeen told me the whole time I was away in Alaska that he kept the roasts alive. And my memory as well haha. Those were his words.

So, every day is now an HR nightmare in the building but no one seems to mind at all. I work the raunchiest coolest people ever. I would hang out with any of them outside of work.

So yeah the roast is strong with all of us. I swear if we all quit the restaurant biz and write comedy, we could get famous.

So as roastmasters, Yaqeen and I are the only two who can promote any of these jabronis trying to level up. They gotta be coming correct on the daily with hot roasts. And then when they fire of a real hum dinger of a zinger, based on the laughter of yaq and myself and any audience in attendance, that person will be leveled up immediately.

It’s fun. I love playing games all day every day.

—-

Been burning oil and smoking flower every day since I’ve been back to Orlando.

I don’t want to say it unmotivates me because I do get things done, just at a slower pace. I’m on weed time.

—

I’m hanging with Cxxxxxxxx outside of this McDonalds here:

228 S Orlando Ave

Maitland, FL 32751

United States

Called her up randomly to see how she was. Her stomach is tied up in knots over a boy she is also seeing.

You know, I’ve evolved into this person who isn’t jealous and just experiences women/ people as they are. I always say that some of my best relationships are been non-relationships: people I see when I see em, and we are both ok with it.

I don’t know how I got this way but here I am.

Where did I go askew with the way I view relationships? And by that I just mean the non traditional way people view things.

To be discussed later I suppose.

So yeah Cxxxxxxxx is soaring for food from McDonalds.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fail Better, heal faster

Weezer - death to false metal

The strokes - room on fire

HUM - you’d prefer an astronaut

Maritime - we the vehicles

Fishbone - give a monkey a brain and hell swear

Living colour

Portishead - third

Watching:

Johnny mnemonic

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“If I am feeling wacky, I think I might

Drink a quart of vodka

Spend the night down in the gutter” - Weezer

“What if the day had stayed in bed?” - Foo Fighters

“All the boys with directionless hair are rough

Languorous girls in undertaker makeup” - maritime

“The busy sisters stunning, won’t she be stunned

By the infinite parade of punk rock t shirts” - maritime

Quote of the day:

“Electrons take up less space, so..” - Cxxxxxxxx’s roommate on digitizing pictures

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.07.19

Becoming awesome.. hmm I still haven’t done that yet. Havent been doing much of shit lately. How do I get back on track?

The answer is to just do the damn thing.

whats my motivation? Good question to ask.

I don’t want to be an old server. And its weird because chronologically I am 38 but I don’t feel like that. A bit odd I suppose to think about.

so, whats the fix? Slowly work on becoming awesome. By the time I know it ,i’ll be there. But this is only going to come about through working every day toward things. I tell people all the time to just get 1% better every day, and here I am not doing that.

I need to implement all the advice I’ve been handing out.

That being said, what can I work on today toward becoming awesome?

What are some things I want to accomplish? Well lemme refer myself to the giant 18 month plan I have set up

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Serengeti - kaleidoscope 2 ep

Fail better, heal faster - s/t

Panuccis pizza - don’t tip the delivery boy

Panuccis pizza - All of my friends are familiar and the steps I took to realize this

Tigers Jaw - s/t

Halsey - Badlands

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I fell in love with your face so much, that it behooves me to look away” - Serengeti

“You can take what’s in my head; I don’t want it” - Fail better, heal faster

Quote of the day:

"Vision without execution is hallucination" - Thomas Edison

“Stop selling: start solving and serving” -

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.06.19

I keep trying to order the Downward is Heavenward vinyl reissue but it sells out immediately. Short story is, it’s just the singer from the now defunct band HUM, is releasing the reissue in pieces, cause he’s just one guy.

—-

Bagged up the Star Wars power of the force cardbacks in clear pages for a three ring binder

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Cky - the Phoenix

Ozma - Pasadena

Chrome sparks - goddess ep

HUM - downward is heavenward

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“You can’t exist In the world, without being a part of the world, and somehow that’s comforting, when you’re not where you want to be.” -ozma

“And she got me high,

And I barely noticed there were tears in her eyes.

And I miss you less and less every day,

It’s true the whiskeys gone and washed you away” - Margot and the nuclear so and sos

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.05.19

So I’ve been in Orlando for a couple months at this point. Back from my 6 month detour to Alaska.

Feels like I never left.

I don’t know if that’s a good statement or a bad one.

—

Bagged up some Buff Monster mini ice cream toys today. Been working on getting everything in plastic bags. Also I will start to labelling shit I want to get rid of with prices.

This is a little momentum toward having a booth at a con somewhere.

The real

Momentum would be to get a list of cons and then start spamming them for Frank and Tokyo Elvis and also for myself

—

Right, so coming back to Orlando. Not bad but it’s just me back in the same groove.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Toadies - rubberneck

Weezer - Pinkerton

Weezer pacific daydream

Queens of the Stone Age - songs for the day

Soundgarden - down on the upside

cky - infiltrtate destroy rebuild

Watching:

The Crow on bluray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Through the ages, we got stupid, and now we must repent” - Toadies

“She never gets wet; she smiles and it’s a rainbow” - Ben folds

“I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat” - death cab for cutie

“These things don’t belong

On my list at all” - cky

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.04.19

So I’m working last night (At STK if no one has been following) and I get a text from Naomi Singleton (now this is not the same Naomi who is Axxxxx cousin who I was messaging and Axxxxx got wind of it and ended things with me once again)

She was in Disney springs. I work in Disney springs.

So she hits me up asking what I’m doing after work; I say probably heading home, and she goes: orrrr you can hang out with me in Disney springs.

So we met for the first time, right in front of STK, by the bridge.

Very nice chemistry.

So we walked through the springs a little. Hugged and held hands. I sat her down on a bench behind house of blues

—-

What makes me follow the rules one day and disregard them the next?

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Weezer - Hurley

Foo Fighters - there is nothing left to lose

Local H - as good as dead

Local H - hey, killer

Watching:

22 jump street on bluray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Hang on til the break of the day” - Weezer

“I’m falling in love.. what was your name?” - Weezer

“Lately I’ve been feeling better

Wish I could stay sick with you” - Foo Fighters

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.03.19

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Bombadil - hold on

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.02.19

Tina Watkins comes back tonite. I hope she’ll let me use her car carte Blanche. She is defiantly motivated by money so an extra hundo a week should do the trick.

So, however long it takes for me to get my income tax money back, I’m getting a vehicle. It blows not having one.

—-

Taking a break from the space for food and mail and maybe big lots for some shit

—-

Moved some good stuff around in the space. Those three bookshelves (one of the four didn’t make it) are really helping me maximize the Howard space in there.

—

I have to leave to pick Tina up now from the airport. Well, it was nice having the place to myself.

—-

So I sorted the car out with Tina, I’ll pay her and will use the car as I have been. Once I get that income tax return I’m gonna get a vehicle dammit.

Bagged up what loose Dunnys I had in a Tupperware

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Jason’s deli

Big lots

My storage space of fucking course

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Cosmo’s midnight - what comes next

Scott pilgrim vs. the world original score

Red animal war - breaking in an angel

Bjork - post

Bjork - debut

Chrome sparks - chrome sparks

Fishbone - gift a monkey a brain and he’ll swear he’s the center of the universe

Watching:

Trainwreck on Blu-ray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Sandwich bags for toys

Irving stickers

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“born as a data mine for targeted marketing, no one will listen up until you become a hashtag or a meme” - Jeff Rosenstock

“Let’s just drink and fuckin be alive, not just survive” - NOFX

“Give me something beautiful; I’ll believe your lies” - Red Animal War

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.01.19

Made out with a girl from my table last night. She was 23 I believe. She was with her parents and already drunk due to New Year’s Eve festivities. She and I were vining to the point where I caught her coming out of the bathroom and asked if she wanted to kiss at 12. She said she was trying to get a kiss right now, and then we did. And it was pretty on all night after that. A few more random stolen makeouts, and then got her number before we left. She was gonna ditch her parents at some point and wait for me after work, but surely she passed out. Let’s hope I hear from her today.

—-

“I don’t even have an emotional attachment to that particular Nintendo” - me on a garbage Nintendo I just donated.

—-

Holy shit I’m leaving target and can smell the Pizza Hut style pizza they got going on in there and it’s really making me crave it. This keto shit has been going on for two and a half months at this point. Maybe I organize some manner of cheat meal.

—

Seeing Galina at the hospice her father is. It won’t be long for him now.

—-

Cxxxxxxxx came over tonite. Haven’t seen her since before Christmas. I gave her her birthday present that I picked up for her. We hung out at ale house for a drink and then came back this way.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Target haha. Too high and only got a couple random things.

Listening to:

Hum - you’d prefer an astronaut

Swervedriver - mezcal head

Watching:

Scott Pilgrim vs the world

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Stranger things action figure on discount

Scott pilgrim on Blu-ray

BAMF score (I had a $75 store credit from trading in some Star Wars shit earlier last week):

Star Wars Han Solo vintage action figure

Ultraman fig

A couple Japanese older model kits

Packages received:

Star Wars power of the force bulk cardback set

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Every color mixed together

Will make another, in my reality” - Basenji

Quote of the day:

“You punched me in the boob; prepare to die obviously” - Scott pilgrim vs the world

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

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