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#idk what happened but today i got hit with 'everybody ages and dies' feelings which i do not enjoy
coffinsister · 6 months
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Jokes on you I literally love being invested in the drama of random YouTubers I don’t know - spill 👀👀👀
Anon you don't know what you just freaking unleashed onto the world
I gotta spill the freaking tea, but under read more, cuz this got hella long.
But okay, for context, this is about Minecraft Content Creators:: Dream and Tommyinnit mostly, but it's also about another Mexican YouTuber called Quackity
Basically, a super long time ago already actually, Dream announced he was making a new Minecraft server, after the DSMP tragically passed away o7 that was gonna be called the USMP (I'm pretty sure it standed for United SMP but no clue honestly.)
And the exciting new feature about this USMP was going to be this real time translator, so content creators from all over the world could play together (Side thought: I don't think the translations were actually that good either way lol they were machine translated lol)
But literally like that Same night, Quackity announced that actually he was making his own server, the QSMP that had that exact same feature
So they basically kinda fought back and forth over who actually had ownership over the idea or who ripped off who, and while the YouTubers themselves didn't really do much, beyond being way too public about it, but like honestly, what's the Minecraft sphere without incredibly levels of parasociality involved.)
The fanbase was completely deranged over it tho, because you know, Stans gotta be Stans.
A lot of people got doxed, and stalked, literally putting trackers on people's cars, a lot of racism (Hi, hello, that happened to me) just a shitshow overall.
I wanna say that even though I stopped liking Dream ages ago Dream Stans get the worst possible treatment from everybody, just idk, people feel very entitled to mistreating anybody with a ":)" on their bio.
At the end, it finally died down, and then, Tommyinnit, most annoying man on Earth.
Made an ohhh politically incorrect video that was just fake edgy and kinda boring, where at the end he called Dream, basically a crybaby manchild who was gonna get killed by Tommy's LARP Dad Philza Minecraft.
Dream found out, got passive aggressive on Twitter, Tommy doubled down, and then like a stream later, he was being whiny and sighing ,and apparently watching DNF edits of Dream's, new at the time, LP.
Which kinda gave off the message that he really sacrificed a years long friendship to try to get into an SMP that his bestie Tubbo made it into before him
And which he never will, because the QSMP is a very deeply controlled space, with almost no super young content creators, and Tommy's first DSMP video was him literally breaking the only rules of that the server had, so yeah, that's never happening.
(And then, his mom went online to defend him, like boy the way I'm immediately killing myself if that ever happens to me, plus the dream stans discussing with this woman over her son, literally most annoying people in the world.)
And today, Dream made a (In my opinion, super boring) stream just showing the USMP, and talking a bit about Tommy and Quackity.
He kinda implies that the reason the USMP will never see the light of day is because of that drama, but like, that man has never once pushed through on any of his proyects, that SMP was doomed to fail from the very beginning.
I must clarify tho, that my annoyance with Tommy isn't the fact that he dissed Dream. I just freaking don't like the guy, he literally built his entire career on being a mysoginistic lowkey lesbophobic annoying brat.
Kinda sucks that Tommy is the one making the biggest mcyt related videos at the current time, solely because he's got the resources and the connections for it, literally the best part of his channel is being a host for other content creators to be funny and shine.
I still love Quackity tho, he can hit it for free any day of the week, and that's on God
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 295: So How Are You Holding Up (Because I’m a Potato)
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi randomly and graciously decided to answer all of our long-standing questions about Mr. Compress, including “is he secretly hot,” “is he secretly related to that Robin Hood thief guy,” and “is he ever going to use his quirk to chain chomp a hole right through his ass??” with the answer to all three being “yes, of course.” As for our follow-up questions, “sir, is Mr. Compress going to die,” and “holy shit,” his answers were, respectively, “wait and see,” and, “I understand, really I do, but that isn’t actually a question.” Well, he’s got us there.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi finally ends the War arc with the speed and grace of an overworked college student scrambling to BS their entire midterm essay with five minutes left before the deadline. Deku’s Spidey Sense is all “what up, I exist, p.s. you’re in danger kid” like oh shit, no, you think?? Compress is all “I’m not gonna die but I am going to pass out and be captured” and honestly, at this point I’ll take it. Spinner is all “Tomura you can have this one last Souvenir Hand I found that was in the oven for too long” and slaps it on his face because HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, SHUT UP. Dabi is all, “[currently in a marble].”Tomura is all “actually, I’m AFO.” AFO is all “hahahahaha” and summons all of the remaining Noumus to cart him and Spinner and Dabi off to safety. Deku is all “DAMMIT TOMURA I’M REALLY MAD AT YOU FOR KILLING, AND I QUOTE, ‘AN UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE’, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, GET THIS, I TOTALLY WANT TO SAVE YOU TOO! LMAO ISN’T THAT WILD.” Fandom is all “OH MY GOD, NO WAY, is what we would say if we had literally never met Deku before, I guess.” And then the arc just ends, lol. See you in the new year, kids.
WAKE UP, LINK... I MEAN, DEKU
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jesus christ Vestiges, not a one of you guys has got any chill at ALL. LISTEN TO ME. THIS CHILD IS DEAD. HE IS DECEASED. LOOK AT HIM. HE’S LYING THERE ALL DAZED WITH HIS ARMS AND LEGS TURNED INTO GREEN PUDDING AND YOU’RE ALL “GET UP LAZYBONES” LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD. CAN HE JUST REST?? CAN YOU ALL JUST CALL IT A DRAW WITH THE VILLAINS ALREADY SO WE CAN FINALLY END THIS TRAUMATIC ARC AND MOVE ON TO THE NEW “TRIAGE AND ROBOT LIMBS FOR EVERYBODY” ARC INSTEAD
LIE BACK DOWN YOU IDIOT!!
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no you didn’t pass out because of a ~heatwave~, you passed out because he set you on fire while you were out here shooting Blackwhip out of your mouth with your SPINDLY ACCORDION LIMBS dangling uselessly from you like WINDCHIMES you RIDICULOUS BOY
“where’s Todoroki-kun” oh shiiiiiiit. right. god I hope someone caught him. BAKUGOU OWES HIM A FAVOR, HOW ‘BOUT IT
OH NEVER MIND HE APPARENTLY CAUGHT HIMSELF??
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Todoroki Shouto has really highkey been the MVP of the entire fourth quarter of this arc. he deserves the world, and odds are all Horikoshi’s going to give him are lasting trauma, and a souvenir shirt that says “I survived this stupid arc and all I got was this t-shirt”
anyway now Deku’s being hit by a Lightning Bolt of Realization or some such? idk what’s going on, but I bet you it’s related to Tomura waking up again
OH SHIT??
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LOL WHAT. THAT’S IT?? SPIDEY-SENSE?? I mean we all predicted Spidey-Sense being one of his quirks like ages ago, so Well Done, Us, I guess
but also, seriously?? all of that drama and intrigue about the fourth user’s quirk and this is what we end up with? what was All Might being so cagey about then? how did this dude die? I need answers goddammit. new, better answers lol
maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Deku keeps talking about how his head hurts?
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I mean, for Deku of all people to be all “ouch that hurts”, it must really fucking hurt, you know? like oh my god Deku are you dying
lmao and SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO APPARENTLY DON’T FEEL PAIN
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this man is out here FROLICKING, half-naked and half-torsoed, AND STILL FEVERISHLY RATTLING OFF HIS MONOLGOUE. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN ESCAPED YET YOU DINGUS. did watching Dabi pour bleach over his head inspire you to think of interesting new ways you could abuse your own body for the sake of Theatrics?? why are villains Like This
anyway so now Mirio’s punching him, because what else are you even supposed to do in this situation
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I read this speech bubble three times in a row very carefully this time around just to make sure I was reading the words right. and then looked for a T/L note below. and there was none. whatever RHA, at least you all are out here enjoying yourselves
wait what?
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I guess he hasn’t woken up yet after all?? so then wtf is Deku’s Spidey Sense getting all worked up about. I mean to be fair there’s danger all around them still so having a Spidey Sense in this kind of situation is kind of like bringing a smoke alarm to a BBQ
now what
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wait did he put them back in the marble?? or is that panel just meant to show us how they were in the marble earlier?? Horikoshi please make this less confusing, I’m already having trouble staying focused as it is. and on top of everything else Compress is cascading blood like Niagara Falls right now and I’m starting to wonder if you really are going to kill him off
anyway so Mirio is still in mid-punch, and now he’s reaching out to punch Spinner with his other hand. heh. Mirio please be careful Tomura is right there, and I swear to god Horikoshi IF HE LAYS A HAND ON HIS SWIRLY BLOND HEAD SO HELP ME I WILL MAIL YOU A VIAL OF MY TEARS
okay seriously what the hell is happening
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when you attach?? everyone?? to your body?? whose body?? who is this??
oh wait okay it’s a flashback to Tomura talking about his Hands
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lmao this is so disjointed, I can’t tell what’s a flashback and what isn’t and whose thoughts these are lmao I give up. I’m just going to fire up a bunch of question marks until this starts making some goddamn sense. ???????
??????
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????????
-- !!!!!!!!!!!
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okay hold up. so did Spinner just slap Tomura’s last remaining Signature Fashion Hand onto his face just now for absolutely no reason?? is that what’s going on?? and fuck me but it actually worked too, lmao. is your buddy unconscious and unresponsive to stimuli?? no problem, just slap ‘em in the face with a burnt and shriveled severed hand. works every time
p.s. I SWEAR TO GOD HORIKOSHI. IF YOU TOUCH MIRIO!!! HE’S A GOOD BOY LEAVE HIM ALONE
??????????
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OKAY WELL. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WTF IS HAPPENING, BUT AT LEAST MIRIO’S NOT DEAD. KACCHAN GOT BLOWN AWAY THOUGH SOB. HOW IRONIC THAT THE GOD OF EXPLOSION MURDERS WOULD BE MURDERED BY AN EXPLOSION WHILE I WAS BUSY SAYING “OH MY GOD”
ohhhhhh, okay. so this is AFO’s narration
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and that’s a partial answer to the question of “why did AFO bother raising Tomura up as his heir if he was planning on taking over his body the whole time.” apparently it makes it easier to control him. joy :’)
also this image of a potato wearing a Tomura wig is sending me fjkllkhl
oh my god he summoned all the Noumu to him like Aquaman and his sea creatures. this whole situation just keeps on getting better
-- oh hell no. oh fuck me, fucking shit
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SHIT SHIT SHIT. I’M SORRY SPINNER, TOMURA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW
oh my god. I fucking hate everything right now oh my god
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I GUESS WE FIGURED OUT WHAT DEKU’S SPIDEY SENSE WAS WARNING HIM ABOUT, THEN ಠ_ಠ
fucking great!! so I guess nobody is getting a happy ending today, then. the heroes got their asses handed to them (sorry Compress, it’s a figure of speech, didn’t mean to be disrespectful); Deku and Kacchan died; Shouto’s evil brother came back from the dead to ruin his life; everyone and their dog lost various limbs; and the villains have now lost Twice (dead), Compress and Machia (presumably going to be captured), and now their fearless leader’s body has been completely taken over by AFO, which is such an unsexy development that it managed to completely undo all of the Mr. Compress Sexiness from last week. goddamn it
DAMN IT HORIKOSHI ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS
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up close Hadou’s face is looking pretty rough. :/ that’s going to scar over isn’t it. at least she’ll look like a badass
meanwhile I appreciate that Horikoshi drew what looks to be a little puff of air next to Kacchan’s mouth, just to reassure us all that he’s not actually dead. that’s fine. you just lie there then. also his wound really is in the exact same place as All Might’s and it’s giving me all kinds of feels you guys but whatever I’m not gonna sit here dwelling on it all day
AND POOR SHOUTO. IS HE STILL CRYING OMG. AND ENDEAVOR, WAY TO DO NOTHING STILL. THE ALL TIME CHAMP OF SITTING AROUND AND STARING, GOOD FOR YOU
ARE YOU FOR REAL, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW
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(-‸ლ)
lol
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“peace out, loser.” “SHUT YOUR TRAP, HO.” quality encounter right here
anyway so he’s blasting Deku with something and Deku’s just flying back all unconscious-like. so then, what even was the point of all that, huh
oh I see, it was to lead us into one last Deku monologue to close this arc out
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oh my god Deku if you say you’re going to save him I will turn around and do a cannonball into a ballpit of feels right now, don’t do this to me
OH SNAP I THINK HE’S GONNA THOUGH
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DID HE LOOK LIKE HE NEEDED SAVING?? I MUST CONFESS YOU AND I ARE OF A MIND HERE, YOUNG BROCCOLI. YES IN SPITE OF ALL THE MURDERS. WHAT CAN I SAY IT’S COMPLICATED
by the way I just have to point out here, that after all of those impossibly pretty close-ups of Hawks’s unconscious face, Horikoshi really did my child dirty here lmao
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he looks like a squished cockroach. THAT’S MY BABY BOY
and it looks like the cavalry is finally on its way too! took them long enough. so I guess they can take care of any of the remaining Noumu stragglers, but first let Deku finish his speech. listen up Deku I really need you to say something cool and iconic to cap off this thus-far admittedly underwhelming Last Chapter Of The Year, here
AHHHHHHH YES HE REALLY DID IT HE SAID THE THING
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well he thought the thing, anyway. close enough. I’ll take it!
so this is really the end of the arc then! or at least I hope, good lord. anyways, all right then so let’s do a quick status check:
it looks like the Noumu are hauling Tomura and Spinner away to safety, but it doesn’t look like they managed to save Machia or Compress. this honestly might be in Compress’s best interests though. the heroes can get him some medical help along with Kacchan and Endeavor and everyone else
Dabi is apparently hidden inside Spinner’s scarf, but do they have any way of releasing him without Compress there to undo the quirk? will he be all right in there. like how is he going to get food and water and air and stuff lol. does it wear off after a bit? can Compress undo it when he wakes up, even if he’s in custody? is there a distance limit on it?
and Skeptic was presumably turned into a marble as well, but Compress didn’t bother mentioning him at all. nobody cares about poor Skeptic lol
and bonus AFO theories status check:
Dad for One - AFO called Deku worthless and hasn’t seemed to take the least bit of interest in him despite getting to see his fancy SIXQUIRKS up close and personal. so if he is his dad he sure as heck is a terrible one, that’s all I can say
All for One for All/Deku is a horcrux - well the Spidey Sense seems to offer an alternative explanation to why Deku could sense AFO’s presence, but on the other hand it doesn’t explain why AFO was able to sense Deku’s as well (seeing his dreams and such). still thinking there’s a connection there, guys, idk
AFO is the final villain - five words for you: “EVERYTHING IS FOR MY SAKE.” is that concrete enough yet lol. pretty sure this arc marked both the beginning and end of Tomura’s brief stint as the Big Bad. Deku’s got it in his mind to save him now somehow, and we all know what happens when Deku starts getting determined to save people. look out AFO
as for the heroes, they’re all varying degrees of Fucked and I think it’s honestly too much to even take stock of at this point. maybe if I get a rush of hyperfixation in the next couple days or so I’ll do a separate post analyzing the impact of this arc and where things currently stand and where they might be headed from here
but in the meantime, ngl, this chapter was kind of a hot mess lmao. but whatever, I don’t even care because at least he managed to get all of it done within the allotted 17 pages, meaning that next week (or rather two weeks from now, sob) we really can get moving onto the aforementioned Triage arc! BRING ON THAT ANGST. I am so fucking hyped goddammit
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lie---ability · 3 years
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for too many times in my life had i been wrong about people. so much that anyone who tries to have anything with me makes me anxious. i even get anxious about my upcoming job at Virus & Partners because new people = chances of any of them hurting me. i have been wrong about people so much that i think it's because i idealize them so much. i mean an example could be us hanging out everyday, do a lot of things together, stay out late together, ditch others for each other, chat each other right after being together the entire day, say i love you and get home safe — and i'd think we're best friends!!! only for her to say we never were. and that she never wanted to be close with someone like me. so it must be me, right? maybe i just fell in love with the thought that she's a great best friend. at the same time i think, no. she was a best friend, she did exist. that version of her existed. or at least did when it was convenient or beneficial to her, but when the time came where it wasn't, she threw me under the bus, become totally different from who i loved. who i proudly said was my best friend. all those months that built up my comfort, trust, attachment — ended up being told as a lie. and if it came from the person herself that they were lies, who am i to say she's just saying that for whatever reason? she said it herself. we weren't best friends even if she said it before. so what was the truth? was i just really stupid and idealistic? or are people just so awful now? it's like i'm this fish in a pond who's so easy to catch with just the right amount of treat. like i'd swim away when you approach but try a bit more and i'd fall for it. attachment issues suck, more so my abandonment issues.
but this post isn't about jodie. this is about my first boyfriend, rikko.
first because rj doesn't count, the fuck? that shit was a joke lol i just got a dose of reality at an early age. no love there at all. who even falls in love at 13? that shit illegal. so yes, rikko is my first boyfriend ♥️ and even though i've dated guys before, he's the only one i ever loved so far. i love him so much. in fact, before i was already starting to think that maybe i'm not capable of love? i mean, i'm aware i'm a mean person. but i didn't think of myself as someone incapable of falling in love. but among the guys i met and dated, ALL OF THEM WERE JUST TO FEED MY EGO. ego ego ego. tell me i'm pretty. keep asking me to go out and let me reject you over and over again. show me how much you wanna take me out on a date again. over and over and all of them were unintended! when i do talk to someone, a part of me tries! maybe this could work? but it kept ending the same way. ego food. which led me to think fuckkk i'm incapable of loving too? what am i here for then tfuck? — until i met rikko! and everything he did and said, i wanted more of it. the more he laughed, the more he cried, i wanted to keep seeing them, even if he laughs/cries for the same reasons over and over. i wanted the things he wanted. i wanted to like the shit he liked, and i did! i hated touch but i love being held by him. he was expressive too! like the other boys! but for some reason, it wasn't ego food. they became credit scores for me. each time he gets a point, it adds up to my reasons why this is it! why this is worth a try! and i struggled and fought hard. the commitment and daddy issues, the anxiety, the fear of abandonment, blah blah and he did and said the right things at the right time he went at the right places, gave the right gifts, promised the right things — all for him to turn out to be just like everybody else. he died months into my life. he couldn't keep up with the character he played, and idk why people keep playing a character on me. jodie played the supportive bff but really wanted to be some sort of main character which i think is rather difficult hence the hurtful betrayal. and then there's rikko, who played the boy i could ever want, but never was that person. he never was that person to his parents and friends, and i thought he would suddenly change for me? that's some boss level pick me girl shit. i love rikko, even now as i type this. i met him january 2020, it's july 29, 2021 today, and i love him so much. but i'm not sure if i should be with him anymore. on principle, morals, self-care, common sense, logic, religion. why? because he died. he died last january 2021. he's no longer the same rikko i fell for. his hands aren't the ones i fought myself to hold. he's not the same person who went all the way from paranaque to cainta for me at 8pm because my dad told me he almost had another baby with someone ON MY BIRTHDAY. he's not the same person i looked at up at Sm Aura thinking he could be the one. and that i belong here, with him. that i love being with him, and he could be other things, but i want to be with him. he didn't know it, but looking at him as he talked about his friends, those things ran in my head. it was the same rikko who got teary eyed when he misunderstood me there at the Sm Aura rooftop, thinking i meant that i was just playing him. the rikko who gave me a necklace for no reason, wore it on me and even had it in a totally unsuspecting case (tea bag) which made the surprise funnier and cuter, is... yep... no longer here. the rikko who kept reminding me i'm redeemable, that i'm not my anxieties, i'm not my bad brain, i'm not my small voice, that rikko is long gone. and still i stayed waiting, making excuses, reasoning out with myself, trusting that he'd come back and funny enough, 7 months in and... he's still gone.
the saddest part is he doesn't want to be like that. or so i think. he tries. i see him trying. i see the efforts. he tries to ask me about my day, about my worries, why i'm anxious, why i'm sad or irritated. he asks me about work, applications and when i'm out with friends or family. he tries to make time for me even now that he prefers valorant over ml with me, i know he tries to play ml with me. he tries to take some time off work to talk to me. he tries to post on social media now, shares my ig stories, joins my tiktoks and get along with my jokes. he tries. i know he does. but that's the thing. he has to try. and maybe those things, he just isn't. and the difference between trying and develop is with development, there is direction. there is progress. with rikko... it's unstable. sometimes he can do this, but the next times not so sure. and as someone anxious with rejection and abandonment issues, inconsistencies are okay, but a lot of them? and major ones? NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT. so many things rikko doesn't know and still he has it in him to say or assume a lot of things about me. one of them is when he said i'm ALWAYS annoyed at him. does he know how many times i get annoyed at things he do? but i don't address all of them not because i don't want to but because i acknowledge that they're not worth the fight or i'm just being hotheaded or immature or maybe inconsiderate. i think first before i act on him because if i learned anything about rikko, emotions have to make sense! which is wrong in the first place but that's who i'm with! but at the times i can't help being tampo, annoyed, or upset, he finds it in him to tell me i'm a l w a y s annoyed? WHEN?!?! i even asked him when and i know he realized it but still he fell stubborn to his pride. does he also know that his gifts don't make me kilig anymore? they just relieve me at this point which is sad!!! fucking sad!!! why? for example, for my virtual college graduation i was getting anxious few days before because i'm worried he won't give me anything or do something for me which will surely trigger my ~neglected issues~ and if i do get triggered, instead of addressing and being there for me, instead of making it up to me, he'd get mad! he'd make me feel that i'm asking for so much, for the impossible, all while i see it happen to people. i see other dudes give their girlfriends things without occasion. i see them try to like the things their girlfriends like, even embarrassing ones that she posts on social media. i see men constantly expressing their love for their gfs, for the person they asked to commit to them. all while i have one who would call me demanding, needy and exhausting. imagine? lol i get anxious he won't fulfill me not because i'd get sad but because he'll get mad when i get upset. he'd make me feel awful and remind me of the reason why we should end. and i hate that. i'm fighting so hard to take it off my mind, i hate thinking that we're incompatible, unhappy and that we're just trying to revive this love we have for each other. that love really isn't enough, even for us. so when he got me this bouquet for graduation, i was 95% relieved and 5% kilig because awwwww but more importantly, I WON'T BE TAMPO WHICH MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO HIDE AND HE WON'T HAVE TO GET ANNOYED AT ME BEING UPSET! as i type this all the more i feel bad because it's so clear i shouldn't be with him anymore. it hurts each time it crosses my mind. i really see rikko as the love of my life. and idk why. because he shouldn't be. the love of your life should be someone who makes you laugh, makes you strong but can also let you cry. the love of your life is the one who holds you on your way out of dark times. the love of your life is the one who corrects you in ways that won't make you feel bad, but in ways that make you feel cared for. that he's telling you so out of concern, not because he thinks you're a difficult sick mental person who needs an on-call therapist and an attending nurse. the love of your life should be the person who makes you cry the least.
but he doesn't deserve it also. maybe he's not ready to be in a relationship just yet. and there was no harm in trying. in fact i'm happy he tried because if he hadn't added me on facebook and hit up on instagram, i would have never known what love was like. i would also have never known how fun and exciting it is to be in love. it's so nice actually! to lie down with someone and just know they'll be there when you wake up and even if you do wake up in the middle of the night, you're safe with them. and no matter what you look like in the morning or how loud you snore or how stretched you are in bed, you are loved by this person next to you. and they chose to sleep with you too. to be as vulnerable as you are. and i loved that with rikko. we sleep together, we wake up in between sleep just to look for each other's cheeks, we shower together, we do weird shower dances, we have secret baby things, and a lot more things that you would think from here on meant forever. because these things, how could you ever try them again with someone else? because from where i am right now I HATE THE THOUGHT OF THOSE WITH ANYONE WHO'S NOT RIKKO. but stay with him for what? for what at this point? i'm not God. i'm just an anxious person with daddy issues who has enough money hunger and dreams plus a mom, aunts and 1 friend who loves rikko so much. i can't change him. and i shouldn't.
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Amelia & Jac
Amelia: My mum heard wrong and you're actually okay, right? Jac: I am now Amelia: but it was you Jac: me and half of Dublin Amelia: I could care less about about 3/4 of this town Jac: generous, a whole 1/4 Amelia: you know what I mean Jac: yeah Jac: your maths isn't that shocking Amelia: what happened? Jac: what do you mean Jac: I didn't accidentally swallow my mouthwash or something Jac: you know how it goes Amelia: alright, why did it happen? Jac: It was new years Jac: simple as Amelia: you don't give a shit about New Year's Amelia: or anything else right now Jac: I was feeling festive Amelia: because? Jac: because it's the reason for the season? idk Amelia: you're really going to make me figure it out? okay Jac: there's fuck all to figure out Jac: you've got drunk, you know why Amelia: What did she do? Jac: which nurse was it that told your mum Jac: or was it a receptionist, they're the fucking worst Amelia: answer my question so I don't have to go on her profile Jac: go ahead and look Jac: you won't be surprised, no one else is Amelia: [does so a pause] Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: I knew anyway Jac: well, was 99% sure Jac: but then that 1% went so Amelia: You could've called me Amelia: nobody on the gossip grapevine even knows the lad who brought you in Jac: I very much couldn't Jac: I was passed out Jac: so me either, the thank you note will sit here unsent, like Amelia: before, I mean Amelia: she didn't post that last night Jac: it was Christmas Amelia: so? Jac: a time for family Amelia: you used to be Amelia: basically Jac: well that's just weird Amelia: again, you know what I mean Jac: not acceptable to float your incest fantasies just 'cos you've got no siblings to go there with Amelia: ugh, shut up Jac: works for me Amelia: no, it doesn't Jac: ask anyone Jac: I've had a very relaxing break Amelia: none of this is working for you, that's why you ended up in hospital Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: that was the tequila Amelia: none of this is funny Jac: what do want me to say? Amelia: quite literally anything that isn't a pisstake Amelia: that's how low my bar is now Jac: I got drunk, it isn't the drama your mum and whoever the fuck is making it out to be Amelia: it isn't a drama that you got so drunk you had to be medically emptied out after being brought in by a stranger, no of course not Amelia: anything could have happened to you but why the fuck would that matter Jac: clearly I was surrounded by nice people Jac: I wasn't in a crack den Amelia: you wouldn't tell me if you were Amelia: unless you had a joke you could make out of it Jac: I appreciate that you find me so amusing Jac: I'm not making jokes, there is just nothing to actually be said about any of it Amelia: Fine, we'll go back to not talking Jac: don't let me ruin your good time Amelia: it's a bit late for that advice, thanks anyway Jac: amazing Jac: way to make my hospital stay about you Amelia: how could I? It's all about Savannah fucking Moore, as always Jac: so you wanted to be the one I drank myself into a coma for Jac: I'm so sorry Jac: I'll try again next time and leave a note shouting you out Amelia: no you won't, because that would involve telling people about me Amelia: I might as well not exist Jac: 'cos I'm going around telling EVERYONE that this is about her Amelia: it's never been any secret how I feel about you or that I need you even though you don't need me Amelia: and you could've fucking died or something Jac: seriously Amelia: yeah Jac: it's bullshit if you actually believe that Jac: and you're not just saying it Amelia: all of this is bullshit Jac: I'm a fucking mess Jac: I hit you up all the time Jac: why do you need me to spell it out to you Jac: hire a fucking skywriter Amelia: none of it matters because when things actually matter, like this, you don't Jac: because I'm not fucking okay Jac: that doesn't mean that I don't those other times Amelia: I know that Jac: you clearly don't Jac: it means nothing Jac: then fuck it Amelia: it doesn't mean nothing Jac: it's so fucking Jac: infuriating Jac: I haven't talked to anyone else in person for so long Jac: and I barely do it in writing now either Jac: don't pretend you don't know that means something just to fit your narrative Amelia: what to do want me to say? or do? Amelia: I've spent ages worried about you even before this and there's nobody I can talk about it with because you won't Amelia: I don't get to be upset because it's Christmas and we're not friends and I'm over it, that's the narrative for everybody else Amelia: then I hear this and it's no big deal to you, apparently Jac: just not be so fucking dense Jac: at least when you're talking to me, you don't need to pretend that now Jac: what would you like me to say? how fucking vile it was having to bring up my entire stomach contents, what it smelt like? how terrifying it was to be there on my own? Jac: or what can I do for you now? start sobbing about how out of control my life is, repent, promise to change and be different? Amelia: I've already lost you once because of her, I can't do it again Amelia: especially not like that Jac: I can't stop loving her Jac: I can't stop it hurting Jac: all of us Amelia: I can't stop loving you Amelia: and she isn't going to force me to when she isn't even fucking here Jac: There's no point blaming her Jac: if she didn't know, before I showed her how I felt Jac: she didn't know about you and me Amelia: and you think I'm dense Jac: I don't think she's perfect Jac: not completely Amelia: it's progress Jac: shut up Jac: I'm sorry, alright, I wouldn't have told you, you wouldn't have needed to be worried Amelia: I'm worried by all the things you don't tell me Amelia: where you go and what you do when you're not 'hitting me up' Jac: it's not as if you'd wanna hear it though Jac: you want me to stop, like everyone does Jac: but I just Jac: I can't Amelia: I don't want to hear it because I know it's not what you really want Jac: I can't have what I want Amelia: you can't have her, it doesn't mean you have to have that Jac: None of it was real Jac: but it doesn't erase all that time, what was said and done and felt Jac: not for me Amelia: of course it doesn't Jac: it's like I'm trapped Jac: I can't go back but I'm just left here, she's left me here and all of the things we were going to do and be together aren't going to happen Jac: I'm not going to be that person but I'm not the same as before Amelia: it's like she killed you, you have to grieve Jac: I don't like who I am now Jac: without her Amelia: you said it, you're a mess Amelia: not much about that for a virgo to like Jac: this is just another day in the life for you is it Jac: 🦂 Amelia: it's not about me Amelia: how you feel about you Jac: it's no secret I CLEARLY hate myself Amelia: it'd be the worst kept secret ever if it was Jac: so yeah, it's nice to flip the script, have people think maybe I hate them instead Jac: I ruined Christmas because I hate you all, like, yeah, fine Amelia: maybe Cammie's brothers are little enough to fall for it Jac: it's surprising how effective playing at being a coma patient is for the cause Amelia: everyone knows you're hurting instead of hating Jac: alright Jac: sounding like a cringe 90s rnb love song is not cute Amelia: I'm not cute today Jac: have you got your serious face on to match your tone Amelia: my parents have and if you can't beat them, join them Jac: did your nan say something homophobic and they forgot to call her out on your behalf? Amelia: I'm grounded because of what you did, that's what passes for logic in this 🏠 Amelia: they haven't stopped talking about it or trying to overhaul my life Jac: oh great Jac: I'll not be able to see you too now Amelia: they've told me to stay in, they can't make me Amelia: you can see me whenever you want to Jac: your parents are actually sensible, if leaning towards over-protective Jac: they'll get a restraining order Jac: or me sectioned, if they can really sell it Amelia: they don't know about us Amelia: you're fine Jac: they know they don't want you being my friend Amelia: they don't want me getting hospitalised, that's all Amelia: they know if we were still friends I'd look after you and vice versa Jac: it isn't catching, it's alcohol poisoning Jac: can we go to the beach Jac: we've obviously missed the official swim but I want to Amelia: they did run out of Christmas drinks because I never got around to replacing what we stole and I did have to take sole blame, so that's where they think I'm heading Amelia: but yeah, we can go to the beach Jac: their friends always could put it away Amelia: and I wasn't even drunk last night Amelia: because I'd already had a lecture Jac: how drunk did you get on Christmas day then Amelia: it's not my fault they all stop at a couple of glasses Amelia: or want to my life a competition vs the child or children of every single person my parents know Amelia: 🥱🙄 Jac: you didn't know miracle was a lifetime obligation as well as a fancy title? Jac: gutted Amelia: did I hit you up, no, therefore I CLEARLY wasn't drunk enough Jac: Charming Amelia: 😏 Jac: you know, when I get drunk, I make really bad choices/nearly die Amelia: not always Amelia: and I might've given my cousin my phone so I didn't send you anything, okay? I'm that 😳🤓 Jac: She blatantly wanted to nose at all your private texts anyway Jac: I wouldn't trust any of mine as far as I can throw them Amelia: she'd have to steal my fingerprint, I definitely wasn't that drunk Jac: don't you delete them after? Jac: amateur Amelia: what would I do when you aren't talking to me if I did, read a book? Jac: you're quick with the recommendations for me, so yeah Amelia: I get enough migraines without encouraging them Jac: 😏 Jac: we definitely shouldn't be friends then Amelia: that's not even in the top 10 of reasons why we shouldn't Jac: again, so polite Amelia: come on, you know I'll break any amount of rules Jac: it's not supposed to be adding to the fun of it, like Amelia: fuck supposed to as well Jac: alright Jac: but I ain't going out and getting drunk tonight Jac: I feel inside out still Amelia: what do you want to do then? Jac: I don't know Jac: let's just start with the beach and I'll see Amelia: okay Jac: what do you wanna do Amelia: I only give a shit about seeing you Jac: It might take me a while to get out Jac: goes without saying I'm more than grounded Jac: one pair of 👀 on me at all times Amelia: that kind of wait won't kill me Jac: alright Jac: I'll think of something Amelia: remember a coat this time, yeah? Amelia: I can't lend you any more without literally taking the one off my own back Jac: oh no Amelia: you didn't nearly die in my coat, did you? Jac: I was wearing it Jac: but I don't have it now Amelia: oh Jac: I do remember where I was, I wasn't that gone when I arrived Jac: but I don't wanna go back, I can give you the address? Amelia: do I want to go there or should I just hit the sales? Jac: yeah Jac: consider it a late christmas present? Amelia: wait, my late Christmas present isn't that you didn't die? Jac: you're glad, aren't you, that's a gift Jac: but I also meant money for a coat, that's only fair, if anything Amelia: I can afford my own replacement coat Jac: alright Jac: but I did lose it Amelia: I lent it to you, if it was that precious to me, I wouldn't have Amelia: and my mum will be thrilled I'm asking to go shopping Jac: yeah, true enough Jac: what did you get her for christmas? Amelia: [something her basic mum would actually love because she only had to buy for her parents so might as well go in] Jac: wow, daughter of the year much Amelia: I'm their only daughter, there's no contest Jac: all I got mine was a nervous breakdown so you know Amelia: I did that last year, you know, before it was cool Jac: 🤓 Amelia: I'm sorry that you didn't invent pining Jac: I'm not pining though, you can have that Amelia: I don't want it Jac: I'm sorry you invented pining Amelia: I didn't, I just happen to be amazing at it Jac: or bad at it, depending on your outlook Amelia: well yeah Jac: I look awful Amelia: how do you feel? Jac: awful Jac: at least there's no disparity there Amelia: you've nailed it, along with the majority Jac: start as the year will go on, no matter my intentions or otherwise Jac: fucking hell Amelia: I look great, you've been warned Jac: 😂 Amelia: 👧🏻 Jac: at least it isn't bowl-esque now Jac: like your xmas throwback Amelia: I knew you'd like that Jac: that santa is creepy looking though Jac: your face says it all Amelia: 😂 Jac: how likely do you think any of my siblings are to cover for me right now Amelia: 🤔 very unlikely Jac: distract and run it is Amelia: can you even 🏃 the state you're in? Jac: They gave me IV, I'm technically in my prime, thank you Amelia: carry on Jac: you don't have to come Amelia: I want to though Jac: alright Amelia: okay Jac: [I think she should ask Jesse to cover but whatever the outcome of that convo let us say you do get out somehow and you can go to the beach] Amelia: [yeah even if he won't, find a way gal] Jac: [have your nice moment] Amelia: [it's deserved, well not really because you ruined christmas and new year's but Savannah ruined everything first so it kind of is lol] Jac: [it's what being a teen is all about henny] Amelia: [not this teen, I was a goody two shoes] Jac: [my boo is too good she would never lmao, I did so] Jac: [I think they should have a nice time but then someone/someone's parents is at the beach so she's like well bye] Amelia: [that's very valid because you lowkey wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing someone either they know from school or Amelia's parents know the parents of] Jac: [exactly, it's an easy way to end things before anything really has to be said or done so tah everyone] Amelia: [I hope you're both going home, we don't need any more drama immediately] Jac: [my boo says get your ass back home] Amelia: [mhmm] Jac: [she has nowhere to be so I'm sure she's going back to bed lol] Amelia: [get your arse back home too Amelia even though I'm sure that girl has text you at Christmas and New Year's] Jac: [at least you weren't at the beach gal] Amelia: [I 100% vote you do see her when school starts though even though she in the year above and would have to seek you out lol] Jac: [my boo says let her have it] Amelia: [we do love the jealousy always] Jac: [mhmm] Amelia: [not letting you date her though because she actually seems to like you so that'd be rude] Jac: [only jac and savannah can do that lol] Amelia: [Savannah do like this boy cos he reminds her of Jac remember LOL] Jac: [lmao]
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florida unemployment insurance
"florida unemployment insurance
florida unemployment insurance
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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florida unemployment insurance
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florida unemployment insurance
florida unemployment insurance
Trunk Insurance vs. Car Insurance?
I recently changed cities on my auto insurance going from a Cleveland, OH zip code to an upper middle class Cleveland suburb and my rates fell more than $200/half...I drive a '99 S-10, just a regular pickup truck, I am in the market for a new vehicle and ideally it would be a full size truck (Chevy Silverado or GMC Sierra half ton)...my agent has the exact truck I would like to buy, so I asked him what that truck would be insurance-wise for me. It automatically went back up to what I was originally paying in Cleveland...around $650/6 mos. Other variables of my car purchasing ordeal are that I took a buyout from General Motors and I got a vehicle voucher included in the buyout, so another option for me is to get a Chevy Malibu which I could basically drive off the lot for zero money...I've been reading that sometimes car insurance can be more than insuring a truck, with the information I've provided can someone help me out and estimate if my insurance would be more for a basic/no frills 2011 Chevy Malibu or a 2011 Silverado/Sierra with some bells and whistles...and also, do Insurance companies look at the more options a vehicle has as being more to ensure??? any answers would be appreciated""
""I'm about to shop for auto insurance, but I'm afraid it could hurt me?""
I know that too many inquiries will look bad on a credit report. The guy at my current insurance office said inquiries for auto insurance aren't the same as others and dont bring my credit score down. Im not sure if he's lying or not. The last time I checked my report, I had 2 inquiries on it from when they looked for the best rate for me last time in Sept. He also said they could shop for me (for the best rate) at agencies that dont go off of credit scores . Why are there some agencies that use my credit score and some that don't- whats the difference? Does it affect my score/ look bad in general to have sevral inquiries from auto insurance agencies?""
How much is enterprise car insurance?
Planning on renting a car from the 25th to the 29th
Will my insurance skyrocket after this ticket?
I got my first speeding ticket the other day.. 70 in a 50. I'm 20 and only a few months away from turning 21 (when rates go down a little). I know there are other things that factor in to this but how much can I expect my insurance rates to go up? Should I pay the court fines and just request supervision to keep it off of my record?
Insurance for a Car Loan..?
The thing is.. I have just recently gotten my aunt to co-sign for a loan on a 2001 Chrysler Sebring lxi. Me and my boyfriend will be the ones who have the car, but me on the other hand, I currently have a Learners Permit so i'm unable to drive it but my boyfriend has a license therefore he can. So for the Financial Company who is loaning us the money has me on file because i'm the only one with income since he doesn't have a job. The problem i have is that the financial company has my information but I can't get insurance for myself as i will not be driving the car, ONLY my boyfriend. So my question is, since i hold a learners permit and he has the license and will be driving, can i just put his name for the insurance? The financial company asked for Proof of Insurance but i don't know if they'll allow him to have the insurance in his name since the loan is in mine? I don't want to get denied because of that one factor since i already got accepted for the loan. I'm sorry, i'm new at all at this :/ Any help would be appreciated, Thanks!""
How much will the insurance company give me for my car?
i was crashed into by another driver who has accepted full responsibility, my car was a vw polo 1.2 e it had done 55,000 miles and was a 53 plate. does anyone know how much they will offer me? im really worried im going to get completely ripped off and i only brought it a few months ago and the crash wasn't my fault at all. thanx for any help :)""
2012 subaru wrx insurance rate?
I am looking to get a 2012 subaru wrx. I am 17 and i am part of my family's all state insurance plan. I have never had an accident and i live in New York. What kind of price should i be looking at. I was told that because the car has a turbo it increases the insurance rate even though it is a four door four cylinder car. Thanks for the help.
Insurance for new driver?
For a new male driver that just got their permit, which car would have cheaper insurance? 2013 Audi A6 3.0T or a 2000 Corvette convertible Most people's first responses are the Corvette, because it is a sports car. However, it has only slightly more power than the Audi, and is worth less than half of what the Audi is. Both cars are titled under the same persons name, if that makes a difference. Would the difference in value make the Corvette's insurance cheaper, or will it still be higher?""
Insurance rates for 19 year old?
what would the insurace rates be for a 19 year old driving one of these cars. all cars would be sedan (4-door) models. 03-04 honda civic 97-01 subaru impreza RS 96-98 BMW 318 94+ acura integra 98-01 honda accord 00-03 nissan sentra
""Got rear ended and no car insurance. will the at faults insurance contact me, or should i contact them?
i have no insurance. i got rear ended today and my car is trashed. will the guys insurance company contact me? should i go to the police station and get a copy of the drivers info and contact their insurance? i dont want medical comp. i just want my car fixed.
My girlfriends car insurance has been cancelled by the insurer!?
my girlriends insurer has sent a letter to my girlfriend saying that they have made a mistake with her insurance after she has been driving for about 3 weeks. they say that she now has to pay 12000 or cancel her insurance. the issue is that they have already taken 780 of her. and also if she cancels her insurance she will not be able to getanother reasonable quote again! My question is is it illegal for them to do this!? and how do we go about getting it back without her next quoting flying through the roof?
What things increase the cost of car insurance?
im 21 and the quotes are huge!! help!
Can my apartment management include premiums of renters insurance on my rent ?
The complex I live in requires that each tenant have renters insurance because the management suffered losses from damages as a result of the tenants' negligence. I want to have the freedom to choose the company that I buy it from -- but they want to increase my rent in order to cover for the premiums. The management company in turn buys a policy for each unit. Can they do that ? I live in California.
Rear ended someone with the same insurance (AAA California). Deductible is waived. Who pays for damages?
If insurance pays for damages to their car, will my premium increase? The estimate of damages is larger than my deductible but since it is only cosmetic damages is it worth the risk ...show more""
What is TRULY the cheapest car insurance?
I am looking to get a second car and I really want to know what the cheapest insurance is. (I am 17, so the insurance will be high anyway) There are tons of commercials for Esurance, Progressive, Allstate, etc, etc but really what is the cheapest? I'm just looking for liability insurance, nothing else, bare minimum. Have any of you switched to one, and what have you saved? Thank you!!""
Motorbike Insurance 600cc ~ 1000cc?
Iam 24 years old ( will do the bike test later this year ) I would just like a rough figure on what would it cost the insurance for these bikes. CB 600 hornet HONDA CBR 1000 KAWASAKI Z1000 KAWASAKI ER 650 YAMAHA R1 YAMAHA R6 Iam asking because iam abroad and i cant do the quotes else i would not loose time asking If someone could be kind enough to help out just with a near figure iwould gladly apreciate the help.
What are average caar insurance prices for an 18 year old?
just need some numbers for the price for the whole yaer
Life Insurance :?
can i stop paying my premium and get back the amount i paid for? . I took insurance for 15 yr. Already 2 years over. Is ther any option to get the invested money back?
What is a good website to compare auto insurance rates?
What is a good website to compare auto insurance rates?
Can i get car insurance on someone elses policy?
I'm 19. I live with my sister in Detroit, MI. Can I get car insurance on my dad's policy if he lives in a different city then me? or on anyone elses policy? Im not talking about full coverage, I mean plpd, no coverage Thanks..""
My own insurance if i file independent?
Im 18, if no one claims me as a dependent on their taxes (so i claim independent), will I be taken off my parents insurance? and if so, is it health or life insurance or both? and what are the best insurance options for me if i have to get my own?""
Car Insurance Help Please?
So do you have to pay for insurance even if you don't own a car but have a license?
Trying to get a car insurance quote?
I'm trying to get a car insurance quote online and they ask some questions i don't know what they mean like: 1-anti-brakes? (what this means) 2-defensive driver course? (what this means)
Good medical insurance?
im in need of good medical insurance company that is affordable we do not qualify for government aid or medical coverage any suggestion our family consist of two children me and my husband??? we are self employed please help kaiser just raised our rates
How much more will my insurance charge me?
I'm about to get my license at age 18 and I want to buy a really nice turbo charged car...how much more will it be vs a non turbo car
florida unemployment insurance
florida unemployment insurance
""Car insurance help, cost per month?""
I got in a fender bender and it was my fault, the guys bumper got a little bent on one side. it was supposed to be done without insurance but thats another story! he quoted me 800. how much will this affect my insurance monthly? im 19 and drive a honda civic""
Does medicaid take someones life insurance money AFTER they die?
My father used medicaid briefly, i think some hospital and a few months in a nursing home...before he died. My mother and father had very little, didnt even own their home. My mom is afraid to have life insurance on HER, because she was told that after HER death...medicaid would try and take whatever she has....including a life insurance policy on her....which of course I'm the only son would recieve it. There is nothing else, she rents a small apartment and is making payments on a car...so its not really hers either. we live in MISSOURI...""
""What are the medical tests, i have to go for insurance?""
what are the medical tests,i have to go for insurance, please provide a link if possible""
Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?
Yes/No: Do you have health insurance?
How much will my car insurance go down when I turn 25?
I have a clean record with no tickets and multiple coverages (auto,home,motorcycle). How much though will my insurance go down on average after turning 25?""
What is the average auto mileage per year?
Farmers Insurance says that it is 22,000 and I don't believe them for a second""
Could a 17 year old new driver get insurance for a 1.8-2.0 litre?
Hi... If i was to get a car lets say a 1.8 to a 2.0 litre could i put this car on one of my parents policies and be able to get affordable insurance... My parents have many years no claims discount... Would the insurance firm grant me permission to be insured for a car with a big engine under my parents policy? I was thinking of a VW golf Gti (Mk3) or maybe an old BMW ... Please don't suggest sh!t cars like puntos,saxos nd all those because they are for the boy racers...""
If I get my g2 will my parents insurance rise?
I would like to get my g2 in october, but not get insurance and start driving alone until november. Would this raise my parents insurance from just getting my g2. Also, if i have an 80% avg at midterm, will it lower the cost of insurance? If yes then would a 90 avg lower the insurance cost even more?""
How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?
How long will it take for your auto insurance cost to go down?
Who will be responsible for my dad's car wreck/Will my insurance premium go up?
I let my mom borrow my car to get to work for about 6 months. I knew she had it, I never insured it and neither did she. My dad is abusive and tries to contol everyone and their possessions (my car, my apartment, my bf's car). He hit a local business and caused 15k of damage. He has never worked and my mom just recently started a job-I have had to work for everything in my life and I'm frustrated with always being taken advantage of. My dad was taken away from the scene in an ambulance, the owner's of the property he hit never received his name or contact info. Since the car is registered to me, am I liable? Although it was his accident, will my future car insurance premium go up because of this?""
Can i get insurance on a bike at 16?
i have a pedal bike its 20in i have paid almost 1800 for i built it myself and i was woundering if i could get some type of insurance for it like if it gets stolen. i live in michigan
What's the cheapest business auto insurance company?
There are different business auto insurance companies, I've heard Erie insurance is one of the best ones, do you know of any other companies that might be better or similar? thanks""
Any tips on how to avoid paying full coverage insurance on a motorcycle while financing it?
My friend has been financing a motorcycle and he just did his policy online and put down that he owned the motorcycle..and only put liability on it.. Is this a good way to get around the system?
Help! Being sued for auto accident and my liability was too low. What can happen?
I just received notice from my insurance co that I am being sued for an accident that I was at fault in last summer. At the time, there were no injuries reported and we each were able to drive away. It was a very low speed accident and I was allowed to take a driving class in lieu of a ticket. Now I get notice that I am being sued for $100,000. My liability limits were only $25,000. The insurance company is asking for more info and said they will provide an attorney, but since I would be liable for $75,000, should I retain my own attorney? Should I be worried? Also I was just about to sell my home (has very little equity by the way). Am I still allowed to sell once I am served? What happens if they win? Will they attach my wages? I have no assets. Thanks so much for any help! I am about to have a nervous breakdown!!!""
When do you have to get your own health insurance? ?
im 17 will soon be turning 18 and will be starting college in the fall . i have a medical card and im under my moms health plan/insurance. but when do i branch off to get my own insurance/plan ??
My mums with the AA car insurance what are the likely implications for canceling her insurance mid way?
my mum has paid annually (141 quid) lucky sod. and she is considering canceling it to add me to a cheaper car insurer as adding me on the AA insurance is MIND BLOWINGLY EXPENSIVE, (talking 5grand plus per annum) and with aviva its less than half that... but before she cancel she wants to make sure the AA have no hidden cost as all they state is a refund will be paid if insurance has been paid in full and a cancelation fee of 50 must be paid. thats all the information she could find but she wants to know if there are any hidden tricks insurers pull off if your try and cancel.... please help i know its a bit wordy.""
Will my insurance rate go down when I get my license? I have my learners permit?
I have my learners permit and i was paying about 120 a month in insurace, If I go get my license, will my insurance go down?""
""Car accident, how to get money from insurance company?""
one guy rear ended me on september 25th, but his insurance company still have not claimed yet. they said we have not contacted our insurer, so we can not claim this liability i call he and his insurance company to check what's going on, but they never pick up the their phone. what do i need to, shoul i call them to court (my car's mufflier and bumper broken, about $ 800 to fix it?""
When do car insurance rates drop?
At what age do car insurance rates drop? Currently I am a 20 year old male living in Kansas. Also what else will cause insurance to go down. If you get married, have kids, etc....? Thanks.""
""How to save more money as a teen, for a car and motorcycle?""
I'm about to turn 16, and would like to save up for a reliable, cheap (2k-4.5k), good-looking, car. It has to be American, or anything other than Honda, Subaru, Toyota, Lexus, Hyundai, etc. cause dad works for GM. I am paying for the car on my own, most likely, but maybe I can convince parents to pay 1k or so. Money is tight right now in my family. Dad got demoted last year during GM's bankruptcy, and may get a promotion in spring. My Mom is opening a restaurant this year, which is going to cost a lot. I got a job in November at a brand new Kroger grocery store, where I get minimum wage and cannot work over 16 hours per week because I'm only 15. I have saved a little over 1.2k in the bank. I also have invested $500 of my own money this year into stocks, which are up a little. This might sound dumb to some, but I have dreamed of buying a motorcycle. I want a Kawasaki Ninja 650R. AND YES, I KNOW INSURANCE COSTS MONEY, (FOR CAR AND MOTORCYCLE) I'M NOT AN IDIOT. I also need to plan on how to save for that. Any tips, help, and info would be great! Thanks so much.""
Where can I get the cheapest auto insurance?
Im a 16 year old male who lives in new orleans. I have a 3.8 GPA, and my car has a 5-star crash rating (2010 Toyota Camry Hybrid). Where can i get affordable insurance?""
Whats a cheap car insurance company for young adults?
Im 19 and im looking at buying a honda civic si 2006 right now im under my moms insurance and im paying 140 for liability only and ive been looking around and all i see is $300 and up for full coverage on a finaced car. I need a cheaper insurance company im a female and i live in florida if that helps.
When you pay off a credit card is it better to reduce the credit limit or close the account?
I've heard that once you pay off a credit card you shouldn't close the account to keep a good credit score. I've also heard that even though one pays off his credit card reducing the credit limit is also not a good option for keeping a great credit rating. What is the best way to handle this situation if you don't really want the card around to prevent you from running the balance up, but also don't want to hurt your credit rating. Is there any way to find out what exactly affects one's credit score? Examples: Let's just say a website or book states something like filing for bankruptcy subtracts XXXX amount of points from your credit rating. Defaulting on credit card payments for XXX amount of months subtracts XXX amount of points from your credit rating. Paying off federal student loans adds or subtracts XXXX amount of points from your credit rating. Also is there anywhere that states how long certain things stay on your credit report?""
Do you have too get insurance on rentacar?
do you need insurance on car rental
""Getting my new car, Challenger 2009, any insurance rates?""
How much would the APPROXIMATE insurance rate be on a 2009 Dodge Challenge R/T? I know it won't be low, but it won't be that high since it's an American car....correct? Her is the bad part...My record. 2 Accidents and a stop sign...But i will turn 18 soon if that matters. Car Info (another bad thing) 5.7 Liter V8 Hemi, 375 horses. How much is the Approximate insurance guys, just throw me an estimate.""
florida unemployment insurance
florida unemployment insurance
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/first-time-cars-cheap-insurance-luis-bell/"
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paulsolorzano · 5 years
Text
01.31.19
So when Axxxxx found out she was pregnant when we were in Fairbanks in Alaska we got a pregnancy app to chart the baby’s progress. 
The baby was due two weeks ago. 
I knew the date was coming up and it’s depressing to think about on multiple levels. Remind me to talk about it. 
—-
Was supposed to hang with Cxxxxxxx tonite but Kxxxx actually wants to see me and was asking me about it so, I’m gonna have to get out of it with her. 
Cxxxxxxxx hit me up on Facebook messenger asking if I still wanted to hang. I haven’t responded yet. 
—-
Ive been to this Starbucks so many times that the guy Josh, calls me by my name when he sees me in the camera, and knows my drink here. 
I don’t know what to think about that. 
It speaks something about my habits of course. In a sense I was happy to hear my name and my drink, but it’s like goddam, is this my life?
I need to remind myself not to be the old server. 
Still need to tell Cxxxxxxxx I need to take a rain check 
 What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Jeff Rosenstock show and how inspiring it was
Not having a baby with Axxxxx instead of having one
“Don’t be the old server”
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Jeff Rosenstock - POST-
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.30.19
I can’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up; it doesn’t matter because I’m not whatever it was. 
This storage space elevator smells like sweaty bodies. 
-//
Plugging along on the I-4 westbound. Something up the way is really holding up the traffic. Luckily I have my music. 
Aaron Tobin called me to let me know his (and our to an extent) boy Todd, died of a massive heart attack. He was Tobins age, 39 maybe 40. 
To be fair this guy was huge his whole life and also on drugs. He had he heart attack in jail from what I understand. He turned himself in for a warrant he had going. 
Wild shit. Living long enough for people to be dying around us 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Jeff Rosenstock show and how inspiring it was
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Jeff Rosenstock - POST-
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“ It’s like somebody traded out my skin, for something I could never feel good in” -Jeff Rosenstock 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.29.19
Jeff Rosenstock tonite. I finagled three tickets from a friend online, for me and Danielito and Kristy, but unfortunately they can’t make it. 
So I’m going solo. Asked a couple girls on the roster but no luck so far. And it’s that time. So I’ll be forging on alone. 
Gotta get earplugs. 
—-
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“ we’ll diffuse bombs, run marathons, and take on whatever together” - Grandaddy 
“Wizards, stop throwing fruit at me!” - Reggie and the full effect  
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.28.19
Monday. I’m off. Had plans with Mxxxx in the morning but she’s taken ill. 
I tentatively have plans with Kxxxx tonite, which I need to attempt to solidify tonite. Ok, the text has been sent: “hangs tonite?”
Easy enough. 
She already asked about Monday on Sunday morning after Saturday night hangs and bangs. 
Waiting on her response. Listening to Mary Hopkin. This shit is my new shit, which is old shit like back in 1969. Produced by Paul McCartney is definitely why I like it. 
—-
Of course this is all happening at my storage space. This is where I hang currently. Since I’ve been back to Orlando. I hang here with my shit and wrote and do art and catalogue and attempt to trim down and move shit around to maximize the space. 
So back to the Kxxxx thing, she’s ill too. Everyone is sick for some reason. I’ve always been a carrier, rarely getting ill myself. 
Had a conversation with Cxxxxxxxx. She was upset about a week ago when she perceived me to be placing blame on her when she couldn’t hang out spur of the moment. 
So I waited almost a week and she didn’t text or message me once. 
So I wrote her. She’s pretty much embittered by a lot of previous bull shit that other people have heaped on to the pile. 
Now I suffer for the sins of the last person. 
To be fair she was super in to me when we met and I sort of nipped the ‘let’s hop into a relationship immediately after she gets out of one’ enthusiasm in the bud. 
So, she seems to be indifferent to me, and more broadly, people in general. Hard to say. 
I don’t really need to put that much emotional energy into it, as I have other more interested coals in the fire. 
But she’s grown on me. So there’s that. 
I’m not trying to abandon any of the women I get involved with. 
Do I want to commit to any of them fully? At present, no.
And naturally I think of Axxxxx. Always her. She blew my hair back. I blew it with her. 
—-
There’s a cute Hispanic girl in this Denny’s right now, sitting alone and watching Futurama. I keep glancing over there to watch. 
Also the girl who just came in for her shift at 11:00 has just left hurriedly in tears. I have no damn clue what the hell happened. 
  What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Blink-182 enema of the state 
Weezer - blue album 
Mary Hopkin - post card
Deadmau5 - Polar: Music from the Netflix film
Dream tiger - dream tiger 
Lorn - ask the dust 
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
Reggie and the full effect - songs to not get married to
Reggie and the full effect - promotional copy 
Big business - command your weather 
Piebald - we are the only friends that we have 
Watching:
Step Brothers
Reading: 
Eating:
Denny’s mozzarella sticks and coffee   
Playing:
Purchases:
Paul McCartney Wings 45s
Record sleeves for 33s and 45s  
Packages received: 
Jeff rosenstock - POST casette
Wings - silly love songs 45 rpm
Mary hopkin- those were the days 45 rpm
Snow White seven dwarves figs 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Welcome to your life; there’s no turning back” - tears for fears 
“ I’m like everybody else; as a shamed of sleep I lie when a phone call wakes me” - WHY? 
Quote of the day: 
“This house is a prison! On planet Bullshit!” - Brennan and Dale, Step Brothers
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.27.19
Cold and wet all day today. Truly a day where it rained all day. 
Spent the night at Kxxxx’s house. Who’s Kxxxx you ask? She is from the internet dating app OkCupid. I broke one of my own rules and slept over there. And this was last night, which was also the first night i met her in  person and also the first time we had sex. 
I say the first time assuming there will be more times. She and I definitely get along. It’s weird because she reminds me of Holly D in several ways. 
First off Kxxxx body is kind of shaped like Holly’s. She’s taller than I am. Big tits and ass. Back tattoo from what I could gather 
 01.26.19
I do everything high these days. I’m here at Orlando you and comic con hittin the pen hard. Already smoked before I left the house. 
This con is good because it’s smaller and I can make trips back to the car to bring back stuffs I’ve gotten. So I don’t have to roll around with a backpack. 
—-
At chipotle now. Had to drive to get here. Just up the road from the mall. I don’t know if I’ll go back to the con. Technically it goes til 7 but idk. 
—-
Spent a lot of fucking money today but I knew that was happening 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Basia Bulat - good advice 
Weezer - teal album 
The octopus project 
Peter Adams - the spiral eyes 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
“This is a womanly car” - me taking about Tina Watkins car that I drive around like an asshole. 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.25.19
I put the coins that I had organized fell yesterday into the sheets, I stuck them and the paper money into a three ring binder I got from Office Depot yesterday. 
I don’t want to work today but I must. 
Until I innovate my way out of this, I have to work for the man. Remember that you asshole, the next time you cry about it. 
—-
Chilled at the space and made some room for stuff. Slowly and surely ditching stuff 
—- 
got called off from work today in a Friday. I haven’t worked all week because reasons.  I asked for a couple days off to to the Neil DeGrasse Tyson thing, and the Orlando toy and comic con thing. I didn’t get get the two days off when Yaqeen did the schedule because he’s a Derp and does everything by hand. So I had two other days off, and then got the two off that I needed by dropping the shifts.  So I ain’t done shit all week. I’m gonna continue that trend into tomorrow at the con.  
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Wings - band on the run 
Katamari forever OST
Buffalo daughter - captain vapour athletes 
Weezer - teal album 
Nada surf - the weight is a gift 
Basia Bulat - good advice 
The Beatles - magic mystery tour 
No joy  - wait to pleasure 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
“you’re not wide anymore; you’re skinny fat” - Yaqeen talking about me 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.24.19
Been on the pen/flower pretty solid since October when I got back from Alaska. Hell, even Alaska I was on the wax daily. 
I guess I’ve been medicating myself. 
Working on a sketch. I missed a couple days but I did one last night also:
Ok and here’s today’s: 
I’m trying to find my groove with what I want to do with all these sketches. Basically I’m just sketching shit I see. 
Sketching? Drawing? I don’t even know what to say here haha. 
And I made another 
—-
Going to see Neil DeGrasse Tyson tonite. This will be the third time I’ll have seen him. 
I was hoping Axxxxx would be in the mix at this point because she was with me the first two times. Now, if I hadn’t have fucked up recently, she probably would be with me tonite. Goddammit me. So, my one and only boy Tobin is gonna come with me. 
It’ll be nice because we haven’t seen each other in a hot minute. Ever since he got that girlfriend of his haha. Now they are in that ‘up each other’s ass’ phase.  
Update: it would seem Neil will not be speaking tonite after all. Amidst recent allegations in the last few months, he postponed/canceled his shows: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/12/13/neil-degrasse-tyson-cancels-orlando-appearance-following-sexual-misconduct-accusations%3fmedia=AMP%2bHTML
So that is sad fucking news, especially since I’m finding out today and not a month and a half ago. I mean I knew about the allegations but didn’t think it would come to this. 
Another thing that chapped me is that Aaron Tobin fucking bailed on me before I found this out. Granted I only asked him yesterday but damn he seems to let me down a lot when there’s a specific date and time involved. 
—/
I put my paper money and coin collection in these plastic inserts
Now the only thing that blows about these inserts is that the tops don’t seal, so this shit has to be flat or upright at all times. This isn’t too bad for the paper money but clearly there could be an issue for the coins.  I later got a three ring binder to stick the inserts in. 
Also I took pics of all the packages received today. Mostly records. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Weezer - teal album 
Veil of Maya - false idol
Black octopus lipstick project - foam party 
The octopus project 
CSS - Cansei de Ser Sexy
OCEANLANE - crossroad 
The Vienna philharmonic - Beethoven’s 5th symphony
No joy & sonic boom - ep  
Teddybears - soft machine 
Watching:
Rick and Morty season 3 blu ray
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Weezer black album vinyl pre order (2 colors)
Weezer black album cassette pre order 
Packages received: 
Lots of records from joyful noise 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.23.19
The first Amanda messaged me today accusing me of stealing her loop station. I never took the thing at all. Haven’t even thought of the thing for years. She said she is gonna to file a report and mention my name to the police. 
I don’t know what her deal is. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
WHY? - sandollars ep
Marijuana deathsquads - oh my sexy lord 
STNNNG - empire inward 
Vaz - necessary, pt. 2
Alias & doseone - less is orchestra 
The octopus project 
Peter Adams - the spiral eyes 
Teddy bears - soft machine 
Gnarls Barkley - st. Elsewhere  
Veil of Maya - false idol 
Mary Hopkin - post card 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
FFXIV 
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
“Hey if a serial killer/murderer/etc fits the profile exactly but has never killed, what does that make them ?” Me to Mxxxx 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.22.19
Wish I could eat chips and get fat right now. 
I went a million places today. The altamonte mall. Starbucks. These two were part of a date with Mxxxx, who I really enjoyed hanging with. She is married and its all legit. Like they both see other people and shit. So this could be good for me. 
Then did the white girl tour to tj maxx and Ross. Also before that early in the afternoon after Mxxxx I went to bright light books. 
Went a little overboard on buying shit today. Oops. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Fail better heal faster 
The octopus project 
American football - LP3 pre release song
Wings - wings over America 
Status quo - rocking all over the world 
Xavier Cugat jungle drums 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Bright light books:
Art toy picture book
Avocado cookbook (for Mxxxx)
Wings: wings over America vinyl record 
Omg thrift 
These weird soft vinyl Snow White dwarves figures 
Clear makeup bag with
Kay Johnson vinyl record (with writing on the cover, a dedication to two ladies named carol and Donna)
Ross
NASA shirt 
Super NES controller shirt 
Super Mario shirt 
TJ MAXX
Vaporwave lookin Tokyo shirt 
Vaporwave lookin eyes shirt 
Marilyn Monroe skeleton with hair shirt 
Black stretch pants 34 inch waist for the first time whoop!
These fake ass sweat pants 
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“When I try to be clear with you, I only end up being see through” -American football 
Quote of the day: 
“When I put my Makeup on, I take so many selfies” - male barista at the Starbucks by the Altamonte mall
“My dad was awesome. He loved pistachios and Star Wars. Only imparted one of those loves onto me. He is no longer with us, but his memory lives on through red pistachios that also no longer exist.” - Mandyism
“The problem with that idea is that I don’t have a penis. I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be a fair game.” - Mandyism
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.21.19
The girl who works here only a couple days a week, Ebony, just took a tour of the inner workings of my storage space. This was her asking if she could look at my stuffs. 
Today’s and yesterday’s sketch:
This of course being Buff Monster and Frank Kozik inspired; and my Bose sound speaker I’ve been doing and my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Oh and the motorcycle license plate from Alaska. I had a Tupperware full of em mixed, here’s the reference: 
And then this was me and my McNugget kick of course. A packet of mayonnaise and a vinyl record, and the remote to the tv 
—/
Spent a good chunk of the day chatting with some potential dates. Mostly with a girl named Mxxxx, who is in a consensual non-monogamous marriage. She has kids also. It’s weird because she seems really into me and we are meeting tomorrow at 12:30pm. I’m excited to see what comes of this. 
-//
I’m  so excited about finding this Picasso print at goodwill today: 
Here it is hung up 
And here it was right before I stuck it in the car to take it home. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Mineral - one day when we are young 
Wizo - uuaarrgh!
Beck - morning phase 
MF DOOM - operation doomsday 
Tame impala 
Sheena Ringo (as suggested by Ebony who works at public storage)     
The octopus project 
Tame impala - lonerism 
Astronautica - Gemini 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
FFXIV: 
Did a nice glam on ALC also
Purchases:
Bougie goodwill off Orlando ave in winter park:
Pocahontas toy 
Assorted comic books 
Picasso framed print 
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Steady like a tricycle”
“Hoes get ripped off like Nicorette”
“Every day feels like an off day, with Ferris bueller”
mf doom
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.20.19
In line at Animal Kingdom helping my boy Orlando get in with his family.
I’m  parked in giraffe 41-49
It’s way too early for me to be awake. 
And I have to work. Aaaand I’m covering some lunch shift for my other boy Tom who has been feeling ill. 
—//
Did the animal kingdom thing. 
Did the afternoon lunch work thing. 
Got called off for dinner because it was slow apparently. 
Came home and let the roommate use her own car that I’ve been renting weekly. 
Still working on cleaning and bagging those 45s my mother left to me by way of Danielito
So, I would say it’s time for me to maybe make a shortlist of women I’m dating/working on dating. I’ve got a few hat I’ve closed already and some still in the works so let’s see here:
(shortlist omitted)
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda
Lying about my age online
Notable places visited:
Animal Kingdom
Listening to:
The octopus project - hello avalanche 
Hey Mercedes - ep
Hey Mercedes - everynight fireworks  
No doubt - tragic kingdom
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
McNuggets 
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.19.19
The last couple nights in a row, Yaqeen has called me and asked specifically what I have done to further the business, Deep Space Ventures. This is good and bad that the has asked me. Bad because I haven’t done jack shit; good because he is holding me accountable. And it is giving me a little hurt to not do anything. So I will have to forge ahead. He is trying to better himself and make me be better too. Good shit. 
—-
I go to Dunkin’ Donuts just about every day to get a coffee. I stare at these fucking donuts and contemplate ordering a dozen and saying fuck all to my diet. 
The moment had already passed. 
I have to say I feel like I’m doing ok with this ketogenic diet. 
Just saw a new white Honda Accord. Or was it a civic? Either way it reminded me of the second Amanda. Miss that chick too. 
Remind me to tell you about the second Amanda sometime. 
Sketch of the day:
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
The second Amanda 
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
The octopus project - hello avalanche  
The octopus protect - one ten hundred thousand million 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Action figures 
Lyric of the day:
“For all we know, these days are all numbered But things could get better I know Cause I'll be the first and the last one to go Lord it's a cruel, cruel world For all we know These days are all numbered And things will get better I hope Cause I'll be the first and the last one to go Lord it's a cruel, cruel world without love” 
- further seems forever 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.18.19
Sketch of the day: I was doing laundry at a mat on Mills right there by colonial. The 7-Eleven recently closed down after being there for fucking  ever. So I sat there in between the wash and the dry.
I don’t know what I’m hoping to accomplish with these sketches other than practicing. I would like to get to a decent level. 
Something to do while I’m alive. 
It’ll come in handy when I start making the toys also. Good stuff for cardbacks 
Donated some more shit. Slowly clearing it out. Gonna list some 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Fail better heal faster 
ALL - problematic 
Rex Orange County - apricot princess 
Mineral - the power of failing 
Wings - Venus and Mars 
Sparklehorse - it’s a wonderful life 
J Dilla - welcome 2 Detroit 
JJ DOOM - Key to the kuffs
Duendita - direct line to my creator 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
FFXIV 
Purchases:
Packages received: 
Mineral 25 years and new single
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Slap my face, just to feel” - Jimmy Eat World 
“May all your days be gold my child” - Sparklehorse
“Come my beautiful alien, touch me with your light” - Weezer 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.17.19
Sketch of the day locked in; I did Orko from masters of the universe, from the action figure I found yesterday:
And of course the source material
So I’m on my way to sketching I suppose. Leveling up my art abilities? 
Minus the bear farewell concert:
My brother and I caught MTB on their farewell tour in Tampa back in November I think it was? I’ll have to check the date. 
Anyway it was nice to spend time with him at a concert out and about. It was part of my attempt to stop being a dead beat sibling. 
He and I have seen them numerous times over the years. 
I ReDennised Andrea Zimmerman just now. Remind me to go and append the list.  Stuck on I-4 traffic on the way home from her place. 
My exit was closed for construction so I had to take a big ass detour. I dint even care but I thought it was notable. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
  Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
J Dilla - donuts
Jeff Rosenstock - worry 
Quasimoto - the further adventures of lord quas
AJJ - bible 2
Wings - at the speed of sound 
Ok go - ok 
Trent reznor - bird box original score 
Ok go - oh no
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Wheat grass juice powder 
Boston market 
 Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.16.19
The fucking stench of fake buttered popcorn. The Altamonte Springs mall. This is my current hip spot to hang out alone at. 
Escape as a coping mechanism. 
I pretend I’m just this guy who goes through life as an observer. Which I’m not really too far from pretending lately. 
—-
You only ever see kids with short haircuts. Short little asshole haircuts. 
—/
“Found a couple discounted figs,
Sat in the massage chair with no massage,
Renamed all the restaurants in the food court 'sugar',
Decided I want subscriptions to art and toy themed magazines,
And coffee. “ - excerpt of a text from Cxxxxxxxx asking me how the mall was. 
—-
Sketch of the day is done:
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Bomb the music industry - adults 
Bomb the music industry - get warmer 
The arrogant sons of bitches - The arrogant sons of bitches!
Fail better, heal faster 
Deftones - gore
The strokes - is this it
Jaylib - champion sound 
In my room Apple Music playlist 
Favorites playlist Apple Music 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/cucumber/lemon juice/stevia drink also been adding carrot and beet lately
Starbucks venti cold brew with heavy cream and an espresso shot
Chicken nuggets from McDonald’s 
Cauliflower Mac and cheese I made 
Top shoulder loin 
Shrimp on top
Playing:
FFXIV 
Purchases:
Super 7 Masters of the universe action figures:
Orko
Evil-Lyn
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Mold and nice and stolen bikes
And a van everyone wants to break in to” - slumlord by bomb the music industry!
“Well I heard that you found somebody else 
At first I thought it was a lie” - the 1975
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.15.19
Fake funny depression. Meme depression. People taking some dark shit and slapping an out of context caption and making light of it. 
It’s not the worst idea. 
Yeah everything is shit sometimes but do I want to off myself because I don’t have a pile of money to sleep on? 
The answer is hell to the no. 
—-
Yaqeen set it up last night so I didn’t have to work today. Corporate is in town and I’m just avoiding it all haha. Next few days off also. So that’ll take care of that. 
What I need to do now is attempt to pick up at Yamasan just to have a couple extra bucks. 
Just spoke to tobin briefly; he is definitely up his girlfriends ass haha. I’m ok with it. I suppose it’ll do some good for him seeing as it’s been forever since he’s: a)had a girlfriend b) gotten laid on the reg. 
Also spoke to Frank; Microchip passed away very recently. His dog of 13 years or so. Back when Daylight District was  still in effect. 
Remind me to tell you about when I was in bands. 
—-
Naomi Singleton ‘broke up’ with me today. We only met the one time. After months of talking. She didn’t like being deceived by my fake age on Okc. Also she claims she broke out in cold sores after seeing me and kissing me. I’ve never had a single sore anywhere so unless I’m some wild carrier, she is mistaken. 
Her perception is her reality however. And I did burn her with the age thing. 
I’m considering putting my age to normal age. 
Made a first sketch today. The storage space wall and the table with some shit on it 
So hopefully I can try to do one a day for fun. I went to Michaels as well and picked up a few gel pens. 
Remind me to tell you where all my art supplies are. (Spoiler alert; they’re being held hostage by Axxxxx if she hasnt chucked em out. If anything she’s probably assimilated them into her own art shit. 
—-
Just saw a hotpot place I’ve never seen before here on kirkman. Instantly thought of going there with Axxxxx. I miss her.  
Went on a date 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
Spoke to Frank about letting him know what I’ve been up to
To discuss still: 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Ale house in Kirkman for a date 
Listening to:
PUP - PUP 
PUP - the dream is over 
PUP - kids (single off the new record)
Deadmau5 - for lack of a better name deadmau
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
Jeff Rosenstock - we cool? 
First Astronomical Velocity - galaxy one
NOFX - punk in drublic 
NOFX - Pump up the Valiuum
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
THE NEW PUP RECORD!! preorder 
A couple books from brightlight books
Van Gogh  in Arles 
Knuckleheads graphic novel 
The 100 best business books of all time 
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“The universe is unforgiving and a dick
So we’ll do our best to live” - fail better heal faster 
“ You know I’ve never been good at anything
Except for fuckin up and ruining everything” - PUP 
“We’re on an ultralight beam
This is a god dream” - Kanye West, life of Pablo 
Quote of the day: 
“I can turn you into poetry 
But I can’t make you love me” - fragment 5, weatheredwritings
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.14.19
Tokyo Elvis, who is one of my best friends, Frank Friend, who I have played in multiple bands with since we were 16-17. 
He wants me to undertake the tasks involving getting him booked in town and out. 
We’ve decided that the Comic-Con circuit would be a good fit for him. Also it would be for me as well in terms of getting a booth for the paulsstoragespace shit. 
So I’ve started the process of emailing various cons in town coming up 
Just saw a guy throw a rubber hammer at a peacock. A sentence I never thought I would say. 
—-
Like dead glow worms falling slowly through oil
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still:  
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Bomb the music industry - vacation 
Fail better, heal faster 
Alpha male tea party - droids
Just friends - nothing but love 
Just friends - rock 2 the rhythm 
Cornelius - point 
Walter Ferguson - Babylon 
Darwin Deez - 10 songs that happened when you left me with my stupid heart 
Jeff Rosenstock - worry 
Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Sleeves for paper money 
Sleeves for coins 
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“In truth, December destroyed me. January crushed me By February, I was not myself March rolled in like beatings and rolled out like a bear hug In April I stared out the window for a fucking month I don't want October. I don't want November I don't want to feel those crippling blows That I can't explain to myself, my friends or you So I soften them with hours of Nintendo”
-bomb the music industry 
“Loving you required ammunition” - Darwin Deez
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.13.19
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
Killer Bee - Venus
Steffaloo - heart beats 
Lone - reality testing 
Fail better, heal faster 
Watching:
Ready player one 
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
FFXIV 
Purchases:
100 record sleeves for 7 inch records
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“I came here with hope and I left with a smoking habit” - fail better, heal faster 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.12.19
Spoke with yaqeen at ihop last night. He is trying to become the assistant general manager at STK. He was speaking to a couple of the top servers and more specifically Rob C, and rob was telling Yaqeen to cut ties with being friends with servers and more specifically me. 
Now yaqeen and I are boys at this point. So it ain’t happening. But it does sting a little to hear that I’m not very respected  in that sense. 
Made cauliflower Mac n cheese. It was pretty tasty for sure. Nice and Keto friendly. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
Emailed a few venues concerning playing: 
Herohype:
Emailed on 01.12.19
https://www.herohype.com
Omni fandom expo 
Emailed on 1.12.19
http://www.omniexpo.com
MyCon
https://mystic-con.com
Emailed on 01.12.19
To discuss still: 
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
The presidents of the United States of America - S/t
The presidents of the United States of America - II
The cardigans - first band on the moon
Fail better, heal faster 
PUP - the dream is over 
Serengeti - Dennis 6E 
Ricky eat acid - talk to you soon
Rozwell kid - precious art 
Dorothy ashby - Afro harping 
Serengeti - kaleidoscope 2 ep
Serengeti - Dennehy
Atmosphere - sad clown bad summer 
  Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Apple cider vinegar shot 
wheat grass juice powder 
Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/cucumber/lemon juice/stevia drink 
McDonalds 20 nuggets and a large Diet Coke ( this is the last time I swear )  
Cauliflower ‘man n cheese’ that I made
Playing:
FFXIV - got ALC up to 50, working on getting LTW up to 50 also
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Superstar, I tried to educate your childish heart” - the cardigans 
“You said it best when you said I’m a mess” - Rozwell Kid 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.11.19
Sitting here in Disney springs. I got here with an extra fifteen minutes or so; got a coffee and now I’m sitting on a bench watching people and life go by.  
Picking out the weirdos and watching them. And the eccentric girls, for some reason they just appeal to me so hard, more so than conventional hot girls. 
I need to make a move. 
—-
After hours. Waiting on yaqeen to show up at this Ihop. He and I haven’t had one of these in a while. Hopefully  he shows up haha. He said his phone was dying and he would meet me inside. 
What i did toward the business today:
Listening to Tony Robbins power to influence 
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Ihop with yaqeen 
Listening to:
Fail better, heal faster 
Angelo De Augustine - tomb
Bomb the music industry - vacation 
1997 - a better view of the rising moon  
Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
Tobacco - sweatbox dynasty 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Been on a huge chicken nugget for McDonald’s kick. Large diet cokes also. While they aren’t totally killing the diet, it’s probably not the best. 
Tasted the Scallops special from work 
Playing:
Purchases:
From fye all 75% off
Star Wars black series - Poe Dameron
Star Wars black series -  Constable Zuvio
Pulp Fiction - Butch Coolidge, 8 inch tall approx
Super 7 Alien M.U.S.C.L.E. mini figs
From barnes and noble:
The new issue of Juxtapoz featuring Kaws on the cover
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“I wanna move to Japan 
And maybe I’ll understand 
What to do with my life” - fail better, heal faster 
Quote of the day: 
“I don’t want it now, I want it right now” - Robert Davis GM STK
8 ball questions and answers:
“Is Axxxxx gonna come back to me at some point?”
“Yes”
Hashtags: 
01.10.19
I’m on fucking autopilot. Just coasting through my days.  Get back on track you asshole. Don’t be an old server. Have more than one income. Get some fucking momentum going. 
How do I do this? What is my leverage to change? What will happen if I don’t do this? 
I need to stir up some hurt within myself. 
—-
How to innovate my way out of this? This place gives me no joy and therefore I am not giving it the attention it deserves. 
I’ve been sent to Starbucks by Greg the manager to get a hot chocolate for a guest. I’m on a party upstairs and I won’t be missed. He gave me his debit card. I flirted with the girl who took my order. She was receptive. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from?
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Coheed and Cambria - good Apollo, I’m burning star IV
1997 - a better view of be rising moon
Cashmere cat - 9
Tony Robbins - the power to influence 
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
PUP - the dream is over 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.09.19
What i did toward the business today:
Didn’t do a goddamn thing.  Need to get on it
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
Worked on the spam email 
To discuss still: 
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from? 
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Keep Shelly in Athens - 
Death cab for cutie - transatlanticism
Weezer - pacific daydream 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Apple cider vinegar shot 
Wheat grass juice powder 
Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink 
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“I wish the world was flat like the old days
And I could travel just by folding the map” - death cab for cutie 
“This is the sound of settling”  - death cab for cutie
“‘Perfect’ always takes so long, because it don’t exist” - Jeff Rosenstock 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.08.19
Last night we had the STK makeup Christmas party for all the day-one-er’s. I almost didn’t go because I feel semi depressed and don’t wanna do shit all. 
So we went and it was small but lost of the OG hang was there. Yaqeen of course and the lot. 
We all just hung out drinking and roasting the shit out of each other. 
Yaqeen and I are the roastmasters. He and I started this shit as a nice way to keep morale in the building at STK. And boy has it worked nicely. 
Yaqeen told me the whole time I was away in Alaska that he kept the roasts alive. And my memory as well haha. Those were his words. 
So, every day is now an HR nightmare in the building but no one seems to mind at all. I work the raunchiest coolest people ever. I would hang out with any of them outside of work. 
So yeah the roast is strong with all of us. I swear if we all quit the restaurant biz and write comedy, we could get famous. 
So as roastmasters, Yaqeen and I are the only two who can promote any of these jabronis trying to level up. They gotta be coming correct on the daily with hot roasts. And then when they fire of a real hum dinger of a zinger, based on the laughter of yaq and myself and any audience in attendance, that person will be leveled up immediately. 
It’s fun. I love playing games all day every day. 
—-
Been burning oil and smoking flower every day since I’ve been back to Orlando. 
I don’t want to say it unmotivates me because I do get things done, just at a slower pace. I’m on weed time. 
I’m hanging  with Cxxxxxxxx outside of this McDonalds here:
228 S Orlando Ave
Maitland, FL  32751
United States
Called her up randomly to see how she was. Her stomach is tied up in knots over a boy she is also seeing. 
You know, I’ve evolved into this person who isn’t jealous and just experiences women/ people as they are. I always say that some of my best relationships are been non-relationships: people I see when I see em, and we are both ok with it. 
I don’t know how I got this way but here I am. 
 Where did I go askew with the way I view relationships? And by that I just mean the non traditional way people view things.  
To be discussed later I suppose. 
So yeah Cxxxxxxxx is soaring for food from McDonalds. 
 What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Where did my weird view on relationships come from? 
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Fail Better, heal faster 
Weezer - death to false metal 
The strokes - room on fire 
HUM - you’d prefer an astronaut 
Maritime - we the vehicles 
Fishbone - give a monkey a brain and hell swear 
Living colour 
Portishead - third 
Watching:
Johnny mnemonic 
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“If I am feeling wacky, I think I might
Drink a quart of vodka
Spend the night down in the gutter” - Weezer
“What if the day had stayed in bed?” - Foo Fighters 
“All the boys with directionless hair are rough 
Languorous girls in undertaker makeup” - maritime 
“The busy sisters stunning, won’t she be stunned 
 By the infinite parade of punk rock t shirts” - maritime 
Quote of the day: 
“Electrons take up less space, so..” - Cxxxxxxxx’s roommate on digitizing pictures
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.07.19
Becoming awesome.. hmm I still haven’t done that yet. Havent been doing much of shit lately. How do I get back on track?
The answer is to just do the damn thing. 
whats my motivation? Good question to ask. 
I don’t want to be an old server. And its weird because chronologically I am 38 but I don’t feel like that. A bit odd I suppose to think about. 
so, whats the fix? Slowly work on becoming awesome. By the time I know it ,i’ll be there. But this is only going to come about through working every day toward things. I tell people all the time to just get 1% better every day, and here I am not doing that. 
I need to implement all the advice I’ve been handing out. 
That being said, what can I  work on today toward becoming awesome?
What are some things I want to accomplish? Well lemme refer myself to the giant 18 month plan I have set up
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Being a weed head
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Serengeti - kaleidoscope 2 ep
Fail better, heal faster - s/t
Panuccis pizza - don’t tip the delivery boy 
Panuccis pizza - All of my friends are familiar and the steps I took to realize this 
Tigers Jaw - s/t
Halsey - Badlands 
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Apple cider vinegar shot 
wheat grass juice powder 
Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink 
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“I fell in love with your face so much, that it behooves me to look away” - Serengeti 
“You can take what’s in my head; I don’t want it” - Fail better, heal faster
Quote of the day: 
"Vision without execution is hallucination" - Thomas Edison
“Stop selling: start solving and serving” - 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.06.19
I keep trying to order the Downward is Heavenward vinyl reissue but it sells out immediately. Short story is, it’s just the singer from the now defunct band HUM, is releasing the reissue in pieces, cause he’s just one guy. 
—-
Bagged up the Star Wars power of the force cardbacks in clear pages for a three ring binder 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still:  
Becoming awesome
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Cky - the Phoenix 
Ozma - Pasadena 
Chrome sparks - goddess ep
HUM - downward is heavenward
Jeff Rosenstock - worry. 
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“You can’t exist In the world, without being a part of the world, and somehow that’s comforting, when you’re not where you want to be.” -ozma
“And she got me high, 
And I barely noticed there were tears in her eyes. 
And I miss you less and less every day,
It’s true the whiskeys gone and washed you away” - Margot and the nuclear so and sos 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.05.19
So I’ve been in Orlando for a couple months at this point. Back from my 6 month detour to Alaska. 
Feels like I never left. 
I don’t know if that’s a good statement or a bad one. 
Bagged up some Buff Monster mini ice cream toys today. Been working on getting everything in plastic bags. Also I will start to labelling shit I want to get rid of with prices. 
This is a little momentum toward having a booth at a con somewhere. 
The real
Momentum would be to get a list of cons and then start spamming them for Frank and Tokyo Elvis and also for myself 
Right, so coming back to Orlando. Not bad but it’s just me back in the same groove. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Back to Orlando 
Becoming awesome
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Toadies - rubberneck 
Weezer - Pinkerton 
Weezer pacific daydream
Queens of the Stone Age - songs for the day
Soundgarden - down on the upside
cky - infiltrtate destroy rebuild
Watching:
The Crow on bluray
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Through the ages, we got stupid, and now we must repent” - Toadies 
“She never gets wet; she smiles and it’s a rainbow” - Ben folds 
“I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat” - death cab for cutie 
“These things don’t belong
On my list at all” - cky
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.04.19
So I’m working last night (At STK if no one has been following) and I get a text from Naomi Singleton (now this is not the same Naomi who is Axxxxx cousin who I was messaging and Axxxxx got wind of it and ended things with me once again)
She was in Disney springs. I work in Disney springs. 
So she hits me up asking what I’m doing after work; I say probably heading home, and she goes: orrrr you can hang out with me in Disney springs. 
So we met for the first time, right in front of STK, by the bridge.  
Very nice chemistry. 
So we walked through the springs a little. Hugged and held hands. I sat her down on a bench behind house of blues 
—-
What makes me follow the rules one day and disregard them the next? 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Back to Orlando 
Becoming awesome
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Weezer - Hurley 
Foo Fighters - there is nothing left to lose 
Local H - as good as dead
Local H - hey, killer 
Watching:
22 jump street on bluray
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Hang on til the break of the day” - Weezer 
“I’m falling in love.. what was your name?” - Weezer 
“Lately I’ve been feeling better
Wish I could stay sick with you” - Foo Fighters 
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.03.19
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Back to Orlando 
Becoming awesome
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Notable places visited:
Listening to:
Bombadil - hold on
Watching:
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.02.19
Tina Watkins comes back tonite. I hope she’ll let me use her car carte Blanche. She is defiantly motivated by  money so an extra hundo a week should do the trick. 
So, however long it takes for me to get my income tax money back, I’m getting a vehicle. It blows not having one. 
—-
Taking a break from the space for food and mail and maybe big lots for some shit 
—-
Moved some good stuff around in the space. Those three bookshelves (one of the four didn’t make it) are really helping me maximize the Howard space in there. 
I have to leave to pick Tina up now from the airport. Well, it was nice having the place to myself. 
—- 
So I sorted the car out with Tina, I’ll pay her and will use the car as I have been. Once I get that income tax return I’m gonna get a vehicle dammit. 
 Bagged up what loose Dunnys I had in a Tupperware 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Back to Orlando 
Becoming awesome
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Notable places visited:
Jason’s deli
Big lots 
My storage space of fucking course 
Listening to:
Jeff Rosenstock - worry
Cosmo’s midnight - what comes next 
Scott pilgrim vs. the world original score 
Red animal war - breaking in an angel 
Bjork - post 
Bjork - debut 
Chrome sparks - chrome sparks 
Fishbone - gift a monkey a brain and he’ll swear he’s the center of the universe 
Watching:
Trainwreck on Blu-ray  
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Sandwich bags for toys 
Irving stickers 
Packages received: 
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“born as a data mine for targeted marketing,  no one will listen up until you become a hashtag or a meme” - Jeff Rosenstock 
“Let’s just drink and fuckin be alive, not just survive” - NOFX 
“Give me something beautiful; I’ll believe your lies” - Red Animal War
Quote of the day: 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
01.01.19
Made out with a girl from my table last night. She was 23 I believe. She was with her parents and already drunk due to New Year’s Eve festivities. She and I were vining to the point where I caught her coming out of the bathroom and asked if she wanted to kiss at 12. She said she was trying to get a kiss right now, and then we did. And it was pretty on all night after that. A few more random stolen makeouts, and then got her number before we left. She was gonna ditch her parents at some point and wait for me after work, but surely she passed out. Let’s hope I hear from her today.  
—-
“I don’t even have an emotional attachment to that particular Nintendo” - me on a garbage Nintendo I just donated. 
—-
Holy shit I’m leaving target and can smell the Pizza Hut style pizza they got going on in there and it’s really making me crave it. This keto shit has been going on for two and a half months at this point. Maybe I organize some manner of cheat meal. 
Seeing Galina at the hospice her father is. It won’t be long for him now. 
—-
Cxxxxxxxx came over tonite. Haven’t seen her since before Christmas. I gave her her birthday present that I picked up for her. We hung out at ale house for a drink and then came back this way. 
What i did toward the business today:
What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:
To discuss still: 
Back to Orlando 
Becoming awesome
the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I  cultivated to keep morale up
Managing Tokyo Elvis 
Escape as a coping mechanism 
Minus the bear farewell concert
Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress 
“Inventory” night
10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)
Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)
Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)
Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)
24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)
Notable places visited:
Target haha. Too high and only got a couple random things. 
Listening to:
Hum - you’d prefer an astronaut 
Swervedriver - mezcal head
Watching:
Scott Pilgrim vs the world 
Reading: 
Eating:
Playing:
Purchases:
Stranger things action figure on discount 
Scott pilgrim on Blu-ray 
BAMF score (I had a $75 store credit from trading in some Star Wars shit earlier last week):
Star Wars Han Solo vintage action figure
Ultraman fig
A couple Japanese older model kits 
Packages received: 
Star Wars power of the force bulk cardback set
eBay obsessions: 
Lyric of the day:
“Every color mixed together
Will make another, in my reality” - Basenji
Quote of the day: 
“You punched me in the boob; prepare to die obviously” - Scott pilgrim vs the world 
8 ball questions and answers:
Hashtags: 
0 notes