#i've gotten more comfortable writing nancy lately but robin angst is where i love exploring

[snowangeldotmp3]

tw; depression

“It’s just—do you ever feel like—what am I saying? You used to be King Steve, of course you don’t know.”

“Rob…”

She screws her eyes shut, and tries again. “Do you ever feel like you don’t belong?”

“What?”

“Like it’s fine most of the time, it doesn’t even really bother you, but there are moments where you realize that you don’t fit like you should and you just—you know it. I can’t explain it. I get it, I wasn’t here for a lot of the shit that went down with all of you but, I don’t see how I fit into the equation anymore.”

What if there’s something about me that drives people away?

She sniffles, silently cursing herself for doing so. “Or it’s like, I know it can’t last forever. I can feel the expiration date creeping up on me. I’m the odd one out, I’ve been here the least amount of time and I don’t even add anything important to the group. You all have something, I’m just the girl who speaks different languages and rambles too much for her own good,” she pauses, taking a deep breath to stop the burning in her lungs. “I don’t wanna lose you guys because you guys are all great and you’re my best friend in the world but it’s—it’s a feeling I can’t shake. Like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and this has been one big joke or—do you remember last summer? What I said right before we got truth serumed?”

She wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t remember, getting drugged and then the…everything else after that, but she can see his brows thread together, trying to sift through his own memories of last summer—tied together in chairs thinking they were both going to die in that stupid, stupid mall. He shakes his head. The familiar numbness takes over Robin; a detachment. Hollow. She plays with her rings.

“My whole life feels like one big error,” she repeats, in the same intonation as she had that night. She laughs, wryly, ignoring the burn of tears behind her eyes. Steve’s face drops, eyes softening. Robin can’t look at him.

“Rob,” he says, placing his hands over hers. His voice is wet when he speaks. “You aren’t an error, Robin.”

“It just feels like—”

“No, Robin,” Steve says firmly. “You’re right, I don’t really know how you feel. I don’t know what that’s like. But I know that you aren’t an error. You aren’t the odd one out."

#tw depression #here's the sad robin #robin buckley #steve harrington #platonic stobin #remember that time i said i was gonna write something for robin based off creep by radiohead? this is from that #stranger things #sorry i just think about robin feeling like the odd one out because she's so new and the line from rebel robin the podcast and i just #i've gotten more comfortable writing nancy lately but robin angst is where i love exploring #lol she's just like me fr #sad AND gay #my fics #my ficlets