#i've decided i'm getting a semicolon tattoo

[melusine0811]

When you do a suicide prevention seminar for teacher inservice, you're shown a chart with 12 signs of suicidality in students...and realize that YOU showed 9 out of 12 of these signs in the several weeks or so leading up to hospital admission just two months ago, and you can't stop feeling nauseous and crying through the whole thing because you realize how close you came.

How you were walking around fluctuating between passively and actively suicidal for at least a month. And you remember that night when it happened you felt completely alone.

I am so fucking scared, because I realize, now. I ignored myself. I betrayed myself by not paying attention to what was happening to me.

People need to be aware of this. They have to KNOW and to recognize the signs. It's not a joke. It's not something you dismiss. It's not something you give someone the cold shoulder for because they're annoying you with their emotional weight. It's not something you think they are lying about. It's not something to take lightly. If they are aggressive or rude or mean with you, and is acting very much out of character, forgive them. Because your friend? They're not in there in that moment.

If someone you know:

-Has a very negative view of themselves

-Self harms or has in the past

-Is experiencing aggression or drastic mood changes

-Is making threats of suicide

-Is giving things away

-Engaging in risky behaviors

-Is engaging in substance abuse

-Frequently talks about death

-Apologizes constantly

-Feels like a burden to everyone they know, feels worthless

-Has no hope

-Possesses lethal means or acquires it

If they're not acting like themselves, be there for them. Don't leave them and assume they are attention-seeking because they definitely are not. Tell them they are loved. You could be the difference, you could be suicide prevention. Help them find help, or do something very, very simple: HOLD SPACE FOR THEM. Please reblog this, I don't care. The world needs more awareness. Because this is so real.

#i survived #suicide prevention #i've decided i'm getting a semicolon tattoo #this is not a joke #suicidality is not attention seeking #if you believe this there is something broken in you #love one another

[cozycryptidcorner]

Well for my religious upbringing, there's two sides. Mother, who wasn't even a twice a year Methodist and only took us when my sister was in her religious phase or when I explained St Francis of Assisi to her, and father who is the super Catholic side to the point that he is now a deacon in the Catholic church.

For me, the dinosaurs were something that happened before the book and were like God's trial run. Then he killed them with a meteor.

Next, birth control has been a good thing, unless it's the plan b pill which I was told by my father is actually abortion. I actually cried over that one. Abortion is a big no-no but I forget their stance on rape babies. I think it was give them up and hand them off. Though my father does after abortion counselling or something? Idk there's a magnet on the back of his car offering assistance.

Mother said gays are against the Bible. Father is anti gay. I told them off once and said I was bi. That was enough to make two people, one who doesn't want to speak to her and the other who would call him asswhipe like it was his name to my face, contact each other and then decide that since I hadn't slept with a girl, I wasn't actually bi.

Last I checked mother is still vehemently against and probably moreso since the US made marriage legal ON HER BIRTHDAY!!!

My father actually left a campground once because he suspected the owners to be lesbians. He now stands a little kinder towards them but will remark that they need to stop adding gay characters to Disney movies cause they're being forced on us now. Though they will say nothing to my face about my trans friend and when they asked me to make us family friendship bracelets, I had us all pick our colors and they were almost all the standard rainbow colors. So I ordered it from our ages and it pretty much came out to a rainbow. I've never seen them wear them. XD

I no longer speak to my mother but my father sees my tattoo, which is Fight's Not Over Yet with a semicolon and he says he can probably get it off with sandpaper because tattoos are against the religion. I like to point out that so are shrimp or clothes made of different fabrics. They ignore my retorts.

I plan to raise my children as Christians but not so hardcore. Take them to the same preschool I went to at my old Methodist church because the basic lessons they teach about Jesus and such are good life lessons and get them baptized but I'm not gonna shove it down their throats and I'm gonna teach them right and that Jesus hung out with a hooker and chased people out of a church with a whip.

WOW lol yeah I remember you telling me about that whole tattoo thing.

I was asking bc I really wanted to reinforce how fucking weird my childhood was, because it wasn't normal. My mom has since calmed down on the more insane things, and i wouldn't call her fundamentalist anymore, but she went through what I called her "little house on the prairie" phase when I was growing up. I wasn't allowed to wear pants, skirts had to cover my knees, i couldn't watch tv that she didn't expressly approve of (like for example, i wasn't allowed to watch Ben 10 at the age of 15), and used to randomly flip through books I checked out to make sure they were "appropriate” (and for context, she considered the hunger games inappropriate) I had a flip phone until I turned 18 in 2016 and bought my own second hand iphone. The computers all had software that recorded every other second of screen time and kept a log of everything i typed, including my usernames and passwords for every site i visited. And that's just the home stuff, that doesn't even begin to include going to church twice a week, being forced to be in youth groups, and participating in sunday school and religion conferences. girls at one point i had the youth catechism memorized, could recite the ten commandments exactly as they were listed, and even had a couple of psalms down too. I was SO pretentious about my love of classical music and i used to be able to clock the era of every piece i heard. I COULD READ AND TRANSLATE LATIN. 

in the end, this all just made me one of the sneakiest natural liars. I would simply just read "inappropriate" books at the library. I bought a $20 portable dvd player and checked out box sets of tv shows that I would hide in my big school binders.

ya'll if 15 year old me saw 23 year old me, a tatted, blue-haired weed smoking feminist apostate who is openly bisexual with pronouns and a career ahead of me? no husband? no children? i'm like the final boss antagonist of every single christian movie.

#Catholic hate rage

[airacoon]

Jul 28 - Godoksa

Trigger Warning : Mention of death and suicide

I learned abt this korean term "Godoksa" (or "Kodokushi" in Japanese) and my mind went into an anxiety of so many dark things.

It means lonely death. People who die alone in their apartment in whatever cause of death mostly suicide.

Apparently, there's a "trauma cleaning" service available in South Korea. The guy who does the cleaning said that many deaths could've been prevented if they only have someone around. He mentioned abt the stuff that he cleaned and it makes him wonder what is going on the deceased's minds before deciding everything based on their belongings.

Too dark

It's terrifying especially for a suicide survivor loner person like me and I recently moved to a new apartment. The other day, I looked at the iron bars attached at my bathroom's walls meant to be a clothesline (I think), and I thought to myself that those would be a good tool for hanging and that maybe I should also store a rope, just in case.

I'm at this crucial Winehouse-Cobain-Ledger age. I've made many impulsive decisions. I don't have someone around. What if ... that day comes. How long before I get discovered? Who's gonna pick up my stuff?

The post-death questions shouldn't be my problem. When I die, I'm a state of nothing. It's a questionnaire for the alive.

I remember the reason why chose I my wrists as the place of my first two tattoos. It's because, when one day I'd thought of slitting, I'd see the ink embedded in my skin and maybe I'd stop for a moment and change my mind.

I have this semicolon tattoo at the back of my ear and maybe the rope will touch it. The thing is, I won't see it so I'd probably won't change my mind. It would probably be damaged, too. And no one will ever know that there was a time that I had hope.

*****

Well, I still do. And that's why I'm still here. And I'd stick around as much as I can.

;

#Youtube

[kalunfinch]

I think it's weird how much I've changed. Like... I went with my gf to get a tattoo and I was like. Oh I can cover up my stick and poke. And I spent the whole time talking to the tattoo artist dying inside because I was already there but my brain hadn't actually DECIDED to get a tattoo yet. Anyway, it'll be a few months but I'm getting my stick and poke covered up with a frankie skullette. I need to wait til my surgeon tells me when I can do piercings and stuff after my surgery next month. I'm excited tho. I wanna get my eyebrow piercing put back in. Get a semicolon tattoo. I don't know if those are still a thing but I remember what it meant to me. And hey I'm actively living in a world I never planned to be a part of.

I also wanna get double helix piercings. And maybe an industrial bar on the opposite ear. Idk tho. I'm iffy on the bar. Would it be weird for all my piercings and tattoos to be on the left side of my body?

[chibiskittles]

It only took 30 years of intermittent thinking, to decide. I've wanted dragon wings as long as I can remember but my back isnt big enough for them, and the whole needle- phobia doesnt help.

But I'm thinking, IF I ever get a tattoo its gonna be a semicolon (;). Its "used as a message of affirmation and solidarity against suicide, depression, addiction, and other mental health issues." Cliche, yeah, but it really hits home for me, as I suffer from all of that except addiction, but I know people who've lost their lives to heavy hard drug use :(. I didnt know him personally but still, I knew of him.

So yeah, wonder if I could tolerate my needle phobia long enough for a dot and a comma xD

[noturordinaryygirl]

Recently, I decided to get a semicolon tattoo. Hindi dahil trendy siya but because it's a reminder of the things I've overcome in my life. I've dealt with anxiety, depression and at times, that led me down a path that included self-harm and suicide attempts.

But here I am, years later, finally fitting the pieces of my life together in a way I never thought they could before. The semicolon (and the message that goes along with it) is a reminder that I've faced dark times, but I'm still here. 😊🤗

So, For the people who's struggling right now, Mapa study man yan, sa buhay, or sa sarili mo man, Just #KeepGoing.. Sabi nga sa kanta ni Jessie J, sometimes It's okay not to be okay. But still keep going, you're not alone. And for those people na akala nila joke lang ang pagkakaroon ng depression, No, It's not easy. And It will never be easy.😊

"And let's removed that stigma that this is something to be ashamed of cause it's not." -Isabelle Daza.