#i think it's probably because i'm aching for connection tbh but i know online isn't the place to find that

[aceofstars16]

Ugh, I want to write but also just...don't want to do anything at all...

#like i know why but it's frustrating #because i know it's probably for the best #but i'm still disappointed you know? #i think it's probably because i'm aching for connection tbh but i know online isn't the place to find that #but i don't know how to get it in person either #so i just feel stuck and lonely and not sure what to do so that's fun.... #and also like...i will probably try out to create but also...i feel like i shouldn't expect much (aka getting in or even being a backup) #just cause i don't even have that much confidence in my work...like I like it but does that mean other people would chose it? debatale #which is also a sucky feeling to have ugh #plus my motivation has been so off and on it's like...helping out seemed easier to do than committing to create #but at the same time yesterday i literally said i shouldn't be a mod because my mental state has been so crap #which is like...why i know it shouldn't effect me that much but i'm still disappointed and i'm tired of being disappointed i guess #anyways a lot of venting there i'm just kind of sad #but i also want to write and know i need to draw... #but i don't really want to draw and writing is kind of just reminders of what happened so....ughhh #aceo rambles