#i think i'm gonna keep trying drug roulette for a while (which i really don't have high hopes for honestly)

[one-winged-dreams]

#vent #sort of #i talked to my therapist for the first time in a couple months #we were talking about my downward spiral and how literally nothing is working #like even she agrees medication isn't going to cut it #so she hesitantly recommended something really controversial #she basically straight up told me i should look into electroconvulsive therapy #my case is apparently THAT severe #she said she practically never recommends it but i'm progressively getting worse and nothing i do is working #i have very mixed feelings about this because 1. oh my god i never thought i'd be THAT person #2. i'm wondering if i'm really that desperate for treatment #and 3. it sounds really really REALLY scary #i'm reading up about it and sweet christ #i don't know what the fuck to do #i think i'm gonna keep trying drug roulette for a while (which i really don't have high hopes for honestly) #i'm wondering if i'll get to the point of such desperation that i'll actively consider it #i'm mostly just airing out my thoughts but if any of you have any opinions feel free to share them