#i think i wna make a sideblog for stuff like this. i realize at heart i'm genuinely a person fond of sharing their thoughts n emotions

[noxtivagus]

4:44 am late night thoughts under cut bcs i want to talk so much but tags reached way above cap c:

#🤍 #🌙.thoughts #GENUINELY I'M DOING GOOD RN. DEFINITELY. /gen #i just have a lot of thoughts. i find myself rambling a lot every time i start writing in tags oh dear #these r very intimate thoughts of mine at this very late hour #i don't mind though. here online. maybe to whoever may read it they could see some part of themselves in it #i've always loved the ways n possibilities of how we may influence each other in this world #one reason why i write. & why i share. is to make my own opportunity of that possibility w others #sometimes actually w my attunement for these deeper intricacies in life i wonder if i'm even. idk normally fun to be around #but i've had ppl say i'm funny. i've made people laugh n smile. maybe that's proof enough for me that my existence #was loved in those moments. even now maybe for just. being who i am. maybe it really is true. #i find it hard to believe i don't think such beauty is meant for me. #but i think. ultimately. i do deserve the same things that. i think others deserve. i deserve it too. #yeah often i feel like i don't belong in this world but this is enough to keep me going. me. & you. #everything in my worlds. in this universe. & everyone in my life. yeah. life goes by far too fast for hesitation and regrets. #i think it's so beautiful how in a way. you n i. we're so similar yet so different. i wnt to learn sm more abt everyone/everything around m #i think i wna make a sideblog for stuff like this. i realize at heart i'm genuinely a person fond of sharing their thoughts n emotions #i've rambled to myself a lot before in threads in discord servers w friends. in my own discord server. & in tumblr tags #i'm not used to people interacting to it. or being necessarily listened to. or knowing that i am read and seen but i don't really need that #i live like this for me. first and foremost. this is one part of my own inner world #oh god usually i definitely don't talk this much though but it's really really late at night ( early morning ) #i'll try not to delete this when i wake up bcs even if i get shy or embarrassed then that'll change nothing deep down #n it's not like it'll directly impact my life yeah? i should have nothing to fear #that ffxiv friend i spent time with earlier today said they'll challenge their shyness #motivated me more to do the same. it's hard n it gets uncomfortable at times n i will experience drawbacks but #i will work hard to challenge myself & become a better person. to forge ahead as i always have. #this is part of who i've always been & part of who i'm growing to be. #why should i hide? in hindsight i will definitely learn to manage it better bcs i should keep my life more private to be safe but #rn tonight i don't think i'll worry. not now. THAT SAID THOUGH i will actually sleep vvv soon fr now c: #oh my god last thought though but i'm rlly rlly curious of others too.... but that's enough thinking for tonight. i will sleep Soon ><