#i probably would've suffered through trying to be nice and agreeable if i weren't looking out for him. he's been through the wringer lately

[britneyshakespeare]

i am like. unreasonably mad right now.

#oh like SO much madder than i need to be #tales from diana #i uninvited this guy i don't personally like very much from smth last week #i told him something TRUE tho which is that my friend who was going through a mental health crisis might not be expecting a lot #of ppl there and i was trying to keep the crowd small for his sake. FOR HIS SAKE. that was half of my anxiety tbh. #i probably would've suffered through trying to be nice and agreeable if i weren't looking out for him. he's been through the wringer lately #but it gave me a valid excuse to tell this guy i already have some problems being around that i didn't want him to show up. #but i told my OTHER friend. who WAS going. not the one going through the mental health shit. #i wasn't gonna throw the first guy under the bus so i told him hey friend 2 i uninvited that guy bc i kinda have reservations about him. #i didn't think it necessary to share my first friend's crisis (when i told the guy i dislike abt it i didnt say who it was) #(that was another reason i felt like i shouldnt invite him. bc i didnt want him to know who it was. i didnt wanna share his business) #so im telling friend 2 about the reasons i have reservations about this guy right? and friend 2 is like 'oh wow i didnt know that' #and he starts feeling differently abt him. reflecting on some stuff. it's not easy to find out someone isn't who you thought they were. #he ends up 'uninviting' him (the guy i told him i dislike) from smth we were gonna do sunday. he didn't give a reason like i did #he just said 'actually something's come up and i couldnt do that' but later that day he ends up going to the HOSPITAL right #friend 2 does. he tells the disliked guy that's why he didn't see him on sunday. but now he doesn't believe either of us uninvited him #for sincere reasons. i mean i guess friend 2 didnt. but he's doubting friend 2's health in the first place #and he fucking doubted my friend going through a MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS who i was just trying to be accommodating for. #im so mad. im so mad!!! not everything's about you dude. #i had to get that off my chest. there's more but im just so mad. im kind of fuming honestly #ive been pissed off abut this for over an hour now i can't be reasonable about it. just fucking fuck allllllll the way off.