#i love how beret…his cutesy design is everything to me

[hashtagsmitty]

Smitty's Thailand Adventure - Day 2

Big day. My phone is saying 27000 steps. The highlights include getting a suit tailored, having a thai woman rub my naked body down for an hour, meeting Keith Urban's green beret brother, and a friendly, spirited discussion about Islam. No spoilerinos though!

I didn't sleep well, the bed was way too hard and the springs jabbed me all night. I'd told Josh 10am but I was up at 6. I read some more of "Growth Mindset" - talking about sports stars and CEOs that had fixed mindsets vs those with growth mindsets.

Josh texted me and said that he was going to meet me at 11 because he didn't sleep well, so I went out exploring. I got turned around a few times trying to find the train station on the main road. Think a giant freeway overpass with four train lines on it, and a huge station connecting them all. This one has two mega shopping centers like the Emporium attached. It didn't open until 10, so I went for a walk in the park instead.

There were heaps of people just doing normal park stuff - walking, exercising. I saw a couple kids practicing punches. There was an old woman cutting a hedge, and most of the park was well maintained - except for a set of steps I found. They were leading to a jetty that jutted out over the lake in the middle of the park, and the steps leading down were covered in bird poo. It was weird seeing the juxtaposition. There's another one in this picture I took yesterday:

I really liked the architecture of this building, and it was odd to see the rats nest of phone cabling framed in front of it. That wasn't even the worst one. It highlighted something we saw quite a bit of - lowest possible effort to look good.

I walked around the park for a while, then grabbed some food from the White Family Mart on the corner of my street. The name jumped out at me. I grabbed some godawful dried strawberries and a rice and grilled chicken packet that was way better than I expected.

Josh texted me, so I left the hotel and went back to the Emporium and walked around a bit. There was this cool shop called Another Man Story with unique custom men's accessories. Some of the stuff was cool, but it struck me as a desperate attempt at buying individuality through conformity. "Look at these unique expressions of you that anyone with enough money can buy!"

Says the guy with too many stupid expensive leather jackets.

I was looking at my leather bracelet that I made myself for like $5, and compared it to these bracelets that cost hundreds. I like mine better because I made it and it has meaning to me.

I met up with Josh eventually and we got some pad thai in the food court. I'd never had it before, and it was pretty good. I've always been a picky eater, so eating new shit is a bit outside my comfort zone and I'm proud of the small steps I'm taking.

After brunch(?) we went to a tailor Josh knew, in the first of many trips across the city. We took the skytrain - it cost about a dollar per trip. We needed to change train then walk a bit. I was boggled at how well Josh knows the city, and again reminded how screwed I'd be if I wanted to do any of this shit without him.

The tailor was cool - spoke English, very business-oriented. I ordered a 3-piece suit in grey wool, and two white shirts. It'll be ready the day before I leave.

We left the tailor after Josh finished texting one of his friends - something about organizing a business together. Josh had many words to say about this guy, and the tailor, and anyone who walked slowly...

After the tailor Josh wanted to check out a market to get ties and cuff links. I told him I'd look at one market - we went to Cambodia together a few years back, and I got burned out walking from market to market trying to save 3 dollars on some bag. He led us on a crazy whirlwind tour of the backroads and skywalks across Bangkok, until eventually we ended up at the same market we'd gone to last time we were here!

It was a sprawling shopping centre, with as many stalls crammed in as the fire code would allow. Josh described it as "an inside market with air conditioning." We wandered around looking at shirts for a while until we found the ties and cuffs place. I hemmed and hawwed for a while until I picked out a tie and some cuffs. The tie looks awesome - it's skinny and red.

We left the market and took the winding route back to a different mall - we had some meat and rice dish. Josh told me that beef in Thai was "moo". I called bullshit. The menu had "grilled beef/pork/chicken" on it. When we ordered, Josh pointed at that item and said "moo". The waiter nodded. I grabbed Google Translate and typed in moo - it came up as "swine". Sure enough, the waiter brought out pork.

As we ate, Josh told me the plan for tonight - I needed a haircut, so we planned to walk into a place near his AirBNB. We planned on meeting up with his friends for drinks and a meal, right around the corner from his place. And, I'd expressed that I wanted a massage. So the plan was dump my bag at the hotel, find a massage, get a haircut, then meet his friends for dinner.

Another quick train ride. The thing they don't tell you about the skyrail is that you gotta climb stairs to get on and off each time.

I dumped my bag. Josh warned me about the massage girls outside my hotel, and again, they disappointed by not heckling me.

We tried a couple of massage places near my hotel - the two non-dodgy ones near my hotel, anyway, ones that didn't advertise "Vip Room", "4 Hands Massage", or God forbid "Teen Love". If you need to emphasize that your "masseuses" are teenagers, you're not an establishment I'm keen to visit.

The two non-dodgy ones near the hotel were full. We caught the skytrain again, this time to near Josh's house. We found a massage place that looked OK and went inside.

We had to take off our shoes to go inside. I was wearing blundies that slipped off, and Josh had some sneaker things. I waited awkwardly inside after telling the lady that my friend was coming and he spoke Thai. Josh came in and asked for a massage for each of us, in English. Bastard.

We got led into a cubicle each. Shower curtain walls, a very small cot. I sat down and my masseuse walked in. She was a middle-aged Thai woman. She dropped down under the cot and pulled out a basket, then said "leave your underpants on" and left. I took off everything except my underpants and sat cross legged on the cot. I was nervous. What if she touched something I didn't want touched? What if I reacted in a way I wasn't comfortable reacting? I did some deep breathing while I waited.

My masseuse came back. She said "lay down, back first." I lay down on my back. She said "no, back first!" I rolled back over onto my tummy. She covered my back with a towel, then unrolled the towel down to my underpants. She oiled her hands and started rubbing my back. It was nice - Thai massage is firm, more of a deep tissue massage than relaxation. She worked her way across my back, my legs, then my chest. There was a weird one where she raised one of my legs into a bent position, foot flat, and pressed it down into the other leg. It felt like my balls were getting squished in a sandwich press. Clearly, these techniques were designed for Asian men.

She finished with a neck and head massage. She couldn't speak English, but she communicated humour in other ways - she started rubbing my neck and flicked the weird lump on the side that I have. I wondered how to say "misformed conjoined twin" in Thai, which led to a mental rabbit hole about Siamese twins and whether it was a faux pas to talk about that in Siam. She massaged my scalp and flicked my quiff, then spent time straightening my hair when she finished.

I rate the massage a solid 5/7 - staring at a bare stone wall while an Asian woman grinds her elbow into my spine isn't necessarily my thing, but it was an experience and I'm glad I did it. I'm also glad none of the things I was worried about happened.

While we were putting our shoes back on outside, a sketchy white dude walked up to us. He commented on Josh's shoes and stretched his hand out to me to shake. I shook. He asked where we were from. I said Australia. He said his brother came from New Zealand and that we'd know his name. I said I'm sure I don't. He said his brother's name was Keith Urban and that his name was Greg. I said that I knew his brothers name. He said that he used to be a green beret and asked me to rate his handshake. He did his left hand, then without letting go did the right hand. I said his shake was firm. He said the green beret thing again and twisted my thumbs around. Then he wished us a good night and walked off.

We shrugged and walked on down the road towards the barber. We bumped into Greg Urban again - he commented, and asked where we were going. I said we were getting a haircut. He said "you need one!" I said "thank you!" He said "you need one because you look like shit." We kinda just walked off a bit faster. Both me and Josh were getting major sketchy vibes. Josh compared it to a foreign 5 year old who can speak fluent English walking up to you and talking to you - a distraction for something more sinister.

We kept walking. The barber was in Josh's area. He decided that he was going to show me all the street animals he was friends with. We had to cross another skybridge to get there. As we walked across this one, there was a dude laying down covering half the bridge. Josh said we should go single file. As we walked, the dude sat bolt upright. It felt like something out of a zombie movie and I almost sprinted off. Josh later explained that he was likely an opium addict, and likely at rock bottom because of it.

We walked to the barber. They were super full, so we booked in for tomorrow at 3. My fade needs a touch up. We left, and Josh started pointing out his dog and cat friends. He called them all cutesy names in Spanish, like gordo (fatso) or nino (little boy) or chico (little guy). It was weird to see this super intense friend of mine, fiercely competent and ruthless in business and his personal lives, acting like a kid in a candy store with these street animals. It was a weird juxtaposition, but it definitely humanised him a bit more. The animals were really cute too.

We sat down in W District, an outdoor dining and bar area. Josh ordered us some ribs and chips and we waited for his friend and business partner to arrive. Josh had been texting him all day about their planned business venture. Josh wanted his friend to pick one idea, develop it, and pay Josh to implement it. Josh's friend wanted to develop a whole bunch of ideas at once, and give Josh equity in his company and a place to stay in exchange. His friend was arriving early to negotiate.

Josh had been talking up the ribs all day - he said he should get a commission from the ribs lady for all the business he drove to her. They had a chat, and she agreed to send out 3 things of ribs ASAP.

Bill, Josh's friend, arrived. They negotiated while I listened. I wasn't following everything, but I asked Josh later and he said he got what he wanted. As we talked, more and more people showed up, and Josh introduced me to some of his other friends. His current girlfriend, his Egyptian friend who hates Islam, friends of friends. A Thai girl named Ben - that threw me a bit, let me tell you.

I spent the night mingling. I don't normally hang out in large groups, and definitely not with people I don't know, and rarely around people who are drinking. Further outside the comfort zone, I guess. I put aside my nerves and chatted to people, drawing on my inner extrovert. I played improvisation games with Josh and Bill. I talked about Islam with the Egyptian guy. I did my best to make myself, if not the life and soul of the party, at least a net gain to the gathering.

The ribs arrived after 2 hours of waiting. Bill and I joked about Josh's failed celebrity status. They gave us some plastic gloves to eat the ribs with. The group ordered tower after tower of beer - portable taps with 3 Liters of beer inside. They cost 650 baht, around $25.

I ended up staying way longer than I expected, and headed home around 11. Josh walked me to the station and we talked about expectation and visualization and the universe providing and the great magnet turning. We made plans for the haircut tomorrow, as well as lunch with his current girlfriend and dinner with the same group as tonight. Bill said that he was definitely going because I said I was.

I walked past the"massage parlor" again on the way home, still no harrassment.