#i know you're busy rn em but please feel free to add to this if you want

[campingwiththecharmings]

driver!jake x rich girl!reader

👀👀👀👀

i...am 99.9% sure @melodygatesauthor has probably written this (or something similar lol) but i am happy to put my spin on it as well 😌

---

You're wearing that skirt again.

The one he's sure you know drives him crazy, the one that's so short it barely covers anything, the edges fluttering slightly as you walk, granting him glimpses of the tantalizing treasure beneath.

He tries not to stare, really he does, knows it's not the most professional thing to do (especially as an employee of your father's) but...it's just so hard (in more ways than one).

You certainly don't make his job as your driver easy. Dancing and drinking into the early hours of the morning with your friends (all of whom have tried to pick him up at least once), drunkenly piling into his limo in your designer dresses and heels, giggling and screaming as he quietly drives you back to your penthouse (where the party will likely continue). If he wasn't paid so much, he might be more annoyed at the state of his backseat after he's dropped you off--more than once, he's had to have his (normally) pristine limo professionally cleaned after one of your overserved friends has puked all over his leather seats.

Yes. You're definitely lucky he's paid so well.

Tonight had started as it usually did, with you and your friends asking to be dropped of at some club downtown. It's 1 a.m., and Jake knows he still has a few hours before the club closes for the night. Deciding to stretch his legs, he exits the vehicle, shucking his jacket and tossing it in the driver's seat. He closes the door with his hip, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows.

Briefly, he considers taking a walk but this part of town is a tad sketchy and he's not too comfortable leaving his car unattended here in the street. Instead, he opts to lean against the side, pulling a cigarette from his pocket. He lights it, groaning softly as he takes a pull, the smoke filling his lungs as he inhales deeply. Jake closes his eyes to savor the pleasant buzz in his head from the nicotine, tipping his head back a little and exhaling slowly. He opens his eyes just as the last tendrils of smoke are blown away by the warm, night breeze, and sees you.

There you are, standing alone on the sidewalk in front of him, designer coat folded over your arm, soft smile on your lips. Jake starts, immediately throwing the cigarette down and stomping it out, his back going rigid as he stands to attention.

"Oh, ah--Ready to go, Miss?"

Your lips twitch, eyes dragging slowly down the length of him before you say, "Yes. Take me home, Mr. Lockley."

Jake nods, briefly wondering where the rest of your group is as he pulls open the door to the back of the limo for you. When you don't get in immediately, he looks back, questioning.

With a twinkle in your eyes that he hadn't noticed before, you tell him, "I'd rather sit up front this time, actually."

He nods slowly, wondering what game you're playing with him now. "Of course, whatever you'd like."

Jake closes the back door and turns, pulling open the passenger door for you instead. You make eye contact with him as you brush past, the delicious scent of you invading his senses.

Yeah. He's in big trouble.

Absently, he wets his lips, closing the door once you're inside. He takes his time making his way back around to the driver's side, trying to compose himself for the ride back to your penthouse.

You've always been a hard one for him to read. You've teased him before, sure, but...he'd always figured you were just having fun, that you were just toying with the hired help--that's just what spoiled, little rich girls did, right?

He tosses his jacket into the back and gets in, closing the door and pulling his seat belt on. The engine purrs to life when he turns the key in the ignition, the sound calming his nerves a little. He puts the car into gear, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. You're looking out the window, head turned mostly away from him, body angled so you can rest your elbow against the door. He takes a moment to admire your profile, the soft line of your neck, the way the material of your skirt pulls against your thighs. Then, he clears his throat.

"Seat belt."

You look over at him, teasing smile returning to your painted lips as you look at him from beneath your lashes. For a moment, he thinks you're going to talk back, to argue, to tell him you can do whatever you want, but instead, you wordlessly buckle yourself in, eyes never leaving his. He nods, swallowing thickly as he returns his attention ahead.

Your penthouse isn't far from the club you'd been at, and it normally doesn't take long for him to make it back there after your nights out on the town, but he remembers too late that you left earlier than usual this evening and hits a little more traffic than he'd like. You've been quiet the entire drive, simply staring out the window, shifting in your seat every now and then. He can't be sure, but he feels like you might be doing it on purpose, to draw his attention to the fact that your skirt has ridden up so high on your delectable thighs that he can see a flash of the white lace panties beneath them. Jake fights the urge to groan, instead keeping his attention on the road a head of him.

He's relieved when he spots the familiar building that houses your penthouse, internally breathing a sigh of relief as he smoothly halts at the entrance. The doorman rushes out to open the door for you, but you wave him off, instead turning back toward Jake, that gleam still in your eyes.

"Would you mind walking me upstairs, Mr. Lockley?" you ask, your voice soft and far more innocent than the look in your eyes. "I'm not used to being up there all alone."

Jake pauses, considering the repercussions. If he says no, will you complain about him to your father? He could lose his job. But if he says yes, and you do what he thinks you're going to do, he'll lose it anyway, won't he? (that, or your father will kill him)

So either way he's screwed, it seems. Least he can do is have a little fun first.

Jake nods, wetting his lips again as he steers the car toward the garage beside your building. He parks in the spot marked for the penthouse (a spot that's conveniently located right beside the elevator), and helps you out of the vehicle. The edge of your skirt has risen up so high, he can see the curve of your ass cheeks peeking from beneath it as you walk ahead of him to the elevator. He stifles another groan, trying his best to remain professional just in case he's misreading this situation.

The ride up in the elevator is excruciating. All he can think about is pinning you up against the side and shoving his face between your legs. He wonders how you taste (he imagines something rich and sweet, like champagne), how you'd sound, how you'd look just as you're about to come.

The elevator chimes, startling him from his thoughts, the doors opening into the foyer of the penthouse. It's lavish, elegant, but also somehow understated. Perhaps a little like you, he thinks.

Inside he breaths a sigh of relief, thinking his task is done, that he's free to return to his car and go home for the evening...but as you step off onto the white marble floor, you turn slightly, waving him inside.

"Come in, have a drink with me."

Jake hesitates, and you must see it because you chuckle and say, "It's the least I can do for making you walk me all the way up here."

He smiles, nodding his thanks as he makes a waving gesture with his hands. "Please, Miss, there's no need. I'm just doing my job."

Disappointment clouds your eyes at his words and you look away with a quiet sigh, one he only catches because he's watching you so closely. Suddenly you look so....lonely. Standing there in this grand penthouse, all alone. He shouldn't feel bad for you, you have everything you could ever want, everything he doesn't, but...he can't seem to help himself.

Knowing he'll likely end up regretting it, he steps inside, his shoes squeaking slightly on the floor. Your head swivels back toward him at the sound, a light in your eyes when she realizes you've decided to stay. The sight makes something warm unfurl in his chest.

Half an hour later, you're both sitting in your living room (on the most uncomfortable couch he's ever had the misfortune of sitting on), glasses in hand and a bottle of Macallan whisky between you. Your ridiculous heels lay discarded on the floor, delectable legs curled up beneath you as you both laugh about something one of you had said.

Jake's always prided himself on being able to hold his alcohol but, honestly? He's pretty certain that, if he's not drunk now, he is well on his way. He can't stop staring at you, at the way your smile lights up your whole face, the way your eyes sparkle when you say something cheeky...the way your skirt is still riding up your thighs.

He takes another sip from his glass (which he should really stop doing if he's planning on driving himself home later), the liquid burning down his throat. Jake licks his lips, eyes glued to your thighs, wondering idly how soft your skin is, how you'd react if he pushed his calloused hand beneath the hem of your skirt, his fingers dancing along the edge of your panties--

"Jake?"

His eyes shoot back to yours, heat flaring in his cheeks at being caught. You're close (when had you gotten so close?), so close he can smell you, can feel the heat of you through your clothes.

He hums in response, not trusting that his mouth is capable of coherent speech at the moment. You smile, putting your arm against the back of the couch, the length of your body pressed along the side of his as you lean in to whisper in his ear.

"I want you."

Jake groans softly at your words, unable to contain himself any longer. He feels you smile against the side of his neck, your lips dragging along the skin there. You press a feather-light kiss just below the hinge of his jaw and he leans back a little, giving you more space. You hum, nipping at another spot and soothing it with your tongue. Your fingers find their way into his hair, plunging into his soft curls, and gently angling his head where you want it.

You kiss him and he groans again, eyes fluttering shut as your lips move tentatively against his. His hand cups your cheek and you sigh, the action making something tighten in his chest. Soon you're straddling his lap, skirt ridden up so far you might as well not be wearing it (which would be just fine with Jake). His hands are everywhere--cupping your face, slipping beneath your top, clutching your ass, pushing up your thighs toward the hem of your skirt--

You break the kiss with a gasp as his fingertips skim over the delicate lace covering your pussy, your thighs quaking on either side of him.

"Please," you whine breathlessly, mouth falling open as you chase his touch.

Obligingly, Jake slips a finger inside, groaning softly at how warm and wet you are. He swirls his fingertip around your clit, gently teasing it, and dragging the most delicious sounds from between your lips. He watches transfixed as you writhe in his lap, eyes heavy-lidded, mouth parted. You moan as he slips his fingers further south, briefly teasing your entrance before dipping inside. Your fingers clench in his shirt as you move against his hand, his name spilling from your mouth like a prayer.

"That's it, bebita," he breathes, his chest heaving a little as he watches you. "Take what you need."

You moan again as he circles your clit, leaning forward to press your forehead against his, breath fanning against his lips. You whine his name again and he groans, the sound going straight to his cock. When you come, he swears it's the most beautiful sight he's ever seen, your breath hitching, mouth slack, eyes closed in ecstasy, body shaking as your orgasm rocks through you.

Jake brings his fingers to his lips as you try to catch your breath, moaning as the rich taste of you explodes on his tongue. He wants more, wants to devour you, to make you come over and over and over again on his tongue until he's swallowed every last ounce of your essence.

He wonders if you'd let him.

You kiss him then, slow and sensual, humming a little as you lick into his mouth. He groans when your hand slips inside his trousers, taking him in your hand.

"Need you, Jake," you pant, lightly rubbing your thumb over his tip.

He throws his head back against the edge of the couch, cursing under his breath in Spanish. He hears you chuckle, your delicate hands working him from his pants.

He clutches at your hips as you sink down onto him, that silly little skirt bunched up around your waist. His fingers dig into your soft flesh as you ride him, your hands fisting in his thick hair as you pull his mouth back to yours. You're squeezing him, your cunt fluttering around his length as he fucks up into you, searching for the spot he knows will fling you over the edge. You break the kiss with a gasped moan when he finds it, whimpering and whining into his ear as he hits it again and again ("Oh fu--right there, Jake. Yeah, just like that. Oh God. Oh fuck---"). You gush around him when you come, soaking and squeezing his cock. He follows you over the edge, spilling himself inside you with a broken groan.

He ends up staying the night (and if he makes you come a few more times before the sun rises, well, who's to say?).

**apologies for any mistakes, this was absolutely not proofread lol**

If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖

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PART 2

#em tag #my fic #(i guess?? lol) #i know you're busy rn em but please feel free to add to this if you want #ik i went a little nuts lmao #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #jake lockley smut #moon knight fanfic

[mxtchalilies]

rimi chan! hi hi hi ‘m sorry for such rlly late reply! ahhh it’s alright, as long as you do take care and rest. i get that sometimes we just can’t help but rush things, i sometimes like that too (pls there’s nothing to be sorry at all lovely!). yes especially baji san’s death, the moebius arc already got me shock enough but soon relieved to know the draken lived,, but i DID NOT EXPECT BAJI ASDFGHJKL i thought he was gunna live 😭💔 watching tokyo revengers must have got me in tears for more than twice i swear — ToT (also u like mikey? ooo good taste 👍✨)

oh well, whatever projects they are, hope you’ll fin ‘em soon! yea rn for me half way thru first week of school already got me real busy and exhausted. for the last 2 days i got loads of work to do too (but i already fin ‘em now haha), so i agree. please lessen the work and projects on students. please we also need rest TwT and you’re welcome darling!

whaaaa thank you so so much sweetheart! okay so ah as i’ve said above on monday i got an art project — uh it’s a test actually, which the teacher give us one week to fin but for me who’s too lazy to procrastinate it away (only for me to be even more lazy 😂) i decided to do it right away which take me like 2 whole days + also having to or at least try to focus on classes and taking notes and stuff so yeah :// but luckily i finished all the work now! ‘m kinda proud with it tbh. and even tho my shoulders r still a bit sore, maybe from drawing too much or maybe bc of my earlier violin practice (if it’s about the back part my fingers hurt too lol) but they’ll be fine — anw again ‘m sorry for such late reply rimi! hope you can forgive me, pls have a luvly day or night as well!

[ SPOILERS FOR THE TOKYO REV ANIME !! ] : this gonna be a long answer; but if it's for bammie my beloved, i'll do it <333 (under the cut because again, it's long and i value yalls time <3)

bammie my dear don't feel guilty for late replies. i'd gladly wait for days for replies, i understand not everyone's free by the time i send something in and timezones differ :0 so really, i don't mind!! :D

my adrenaline and creativity all spike at different times and they're most often in the most inconvenient times ughh. notable mentions are when i get very nice fic ideas as i'm about to: sleep / enter classes / deliver speeches next / and answer a test. but then i don't have a single coherent thought when i actually get free time >:'(

baji's death has me crumbling and crying. from the moebius arc onwards, i have been anxious on my seat askjhfk. draken living is a huge relief but then the next arc baji dies and i just... i was not prepared for the emotional damage. i just wanna give them big ol' hugs and cry for them :( also yes mikey. i love everyone (ehem. except for kisaki.) but just wanna spoil mikey a tiny bit more <33

yikes, first week and you guys are exhausted already? the workload's not showing any mercy, huh? well, if anything, i'm really proud of you for working through all of it!! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜i'm sure you did well, but don't forget to take some breaks too!! (we definitely need a petition to decrease workload or give reasonable time to work on it ssob)

so you did a test for arts? :0 eek that's gonna be quite the work for your hands ! and having to add on the note-taking for class... aaa !! DD: well, i'm sure you did well though especially considering the time you allotted for it <3

you deciding to not procrastinate the work because you were lazy is both a mood and a powermove, haha! then again, it'd make sense to do everything as much as you can before resting so you won't have to worry later :0 it's also something i practice (mostly in studies... here... not so much, unfortunately) i remember you mentioned once somewhere you play the violin, yes! i also used to play the violin back when i was in elementary! :00 stopped because i decided to prioritize my sports though.

again, i don't mind with the late response dear! you're all good <333 have a pleasant day or eve too, bammie <333

#⛩️៹ %.・letters #tobibam.🏮₊˚.༄

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie, Bronson, Charlie & Bea

Ronnie: I'm going on a run Ronnie: who wants? Bronson: My stash is depleted for some unknown reason 🤔 please stock me up Charlie: Ooh, new year new you babe? Charlie: couch to 5k is it aspirational af 😍 Bea: ✋ me Ronnie: fuck off i just dont need you pussies crying when you can't scav my gear Ronnie: what'll it be princess? the usual Charlie: c'mon, we've always shared everything, nothing is your own #carekidlife Bronson: Ha! That'll be why the lock on my door never sticks Bea: yep, not decided to get heavily into crack since we last spoke, just lots of amphetamines in any form you find 'em, tah, got exams coming up Ronnie: Shame Ronnie: reckon I'd like you more on the hard shit Charlie: just in case you missed the old place, man, giving you that nostalgia for when you had to padlock anything that wasn't bolted to the floor 😜 Bronson: Good times! 😀 Bea: Shame I'm not trying to be your type then, I guess Bea: soz darling, spoken for 💋 Charlie: Truly, missing that tenner a week pocket money, LUXURY! Ronnie: fucking am Ronnie: pissing jobcentre Bronson: I'll add it to your tab if you're desperate as Charlie: gotta learn to play their game, babe Charlie: not throw the board in a hissy Ronnie: 🖕 doss cunts Bea: catch me here fanning myself with sweet, sweet debt for future me to give a shit about Bronson: I'll wipe it out if you use some to keep me sweet Bea: sweet enough sugar 😘 Bea: but forreal, if you could manage that I would be your sugar mama for LIFE 🙏 Bronson: It's student loans not the feds Bronson: Easy peasy Bea: true, like all branches of the gov, pretty fucking useless Bea: but I'm an immigrant as far as they concerned so they treat me SO good 😋 Bronson: Same, but we can always stretch our hands out a little further Ronnie: To jack it and pat yourself on the back at the same time, yeah? Ronnie: calm it down Bronson: New year, new look too! Green looks ace with black 😄 Bea: Clearly do not have natural rhythm Ronnie, that's really not that difficult Bea: You're not a drummer, are you? 😕 Ronnie: get off my tits all of yous Ronnie: do you want gear or nah? Bronson: 🤐 Bea: I thought you'd already gone tbh Ronnie: not trying to score that weak gay shit Ronnie: hitting up a more reliable source like Charlie: rude, i'm RIGHT here Ronnie: are you even gay fitzy? always in my pussy lad Bronson: 😷 Bea: 🤢 Charlie: idk, ask ur man 💖 Ronnie: that'll be why me and Bron's dads did a bunk Bronson: Get yourself locked up at the same time just for the d, did you? Romantic Charlie: if the porn n the stereotypes n the rate of STIs are anything to go by...love is in the air always in cell block h Ronnie: princess'll have some handcuffs to get you on your way to that good loving Bea: 🚿🧠 anyone got any bleach? Bea: Charlie isn't worth the 💰 use cable ties, more authentic Bronson: 99 🚔 My fingers are on the button....Stop for the love of god Ronnie: Bron can help you out there Fitz Ronnie: 🤓 Bronson: Take that over a thicko label Charlie: Look, babe, know you wanna tie me down forever but do it yourself, don't involve the kid Charlie: 💍 diamond or no D, soz Ronnie: Bring a needle I'll snag a gem Bronson: Don't go there, C, I'm still riding the ear infection wave Bronson: It's been 84 years Ronnie: yeah cause you're a mong that can't turn an earring Bronson: In my defense I was a legit child Bea: nothing screams low-class like stabbing your friends for the bants Charlie: and i already scream homo loudly enough, don't need another reason to be hate crime-d, a thank you Bronson: If I didn't know you I'd guess bisexual Bronson: You can have that for free Charlie: what a smooth-talker! thanks babe 💖 Charlie: and if i didn't know you, i'd guess you were trying to see my dongle Bronson: Been there, repressed the trauma o that Ronnie: get a fucking room benders Charlie: why you being so homophobic when we all know how bad you want on princess? cliche stuck in the closet much Bea: shut up Ronnie: in your wet dreams Charles Ronnie: fuck off Charlie: oh the delicious tension Charlie: too much for either to bear Ronnie: I know where she's been Ronnie: fuck that Ronnie: like you wish you could gayboy Bronson: Wait, you fancy Fraze, Charlie? Ha Bea: Bron can you not encourage either of them Bea: thanks Bronson: Sorry my mind's just blown I thought he was out of his straight boy phase Charlie: What? Its a compliment for you, he's adorable, why else would you be with him? Ronnie: they're both annoying cunts Ronnie: match made Charlie: and never out of that phase, bro 😍 #daddyissues Bea: get his name out of your mouth bitch Ronnie: oi get your mouth off his dick Fitzgerald you heard her Ronnie: princess is raging like Ronnie: when your mans a slag and youre a prude Bea: As if Bea: Only one McKenna fucked up to go near you Bea: #singletear Charlie: Children, enough Ronnie: Bron do that final 9 she's going off 😂 Bronson: Walking away Bea: know you're hard up but as per we're all funding you getting your rocks off so run along and do it, no need to bore me trying to get your kicks Ronnie: know youre a snobby cunt but I don't work for you Bea: you don't work for anyone, not even JC gonna fund your lack of a life Ronnie: 🖕 mad cause I don't need reddies to fund myself Bea: yeah fuming Bea: if only I'd have thought of selling my body, wouldn't even NEED to be at cambs rn omg Ronnie: nailed it Bea: 😂 Bea: whodathunkit Bea: talking to the cure for cancer stuck inside a waster here Bea: and I'm the snob, okay Ronnie: fucking hell Ronnie: devvo like Bea: We can tell Bea: you don't need to shout about it, you've got the energy of a walking wasteland Ronnie: can't wait until you take some more speed and get more smug Bea: Right? Bea: Must sting, better only getting better Bea: why don't you get something to numb the pain- Ronnie: let you know how it feels when the lads come up Bronson: A rare compliment, you hitting it already? Ronnie: you'll have your share calm the fuck down Charlie: i don't want any, i'm busy Charlie: glad you all noted my silence, feel so listened to usually! hmpf Ronnie: so now you're a little bitch too Ronnie: fuck's sake Bronson: PARTY TIME, am I right? Really in the mood now thanks everyone Charlie: who's in who's pussy, dollface? Charlie: keep your shirt on, Bro 😂 got enough with the two angry feminists here Charlie: I've got previous plans, if you're really so hurt, you can save me some, no? Whaddya mean that'd hurt more? 😏 Bea: you're alright, I personally rather you weren't there, suits me 😘 Bronson: Shirts already off, too late 😜 Bea: Standard 👌 Charlie: you big man whore Charlie: when i'm not around to be predatory, too, tuttut Bronson: I'd wilt under your stare, you know you aren't missing out Charlie: our beautiful wallflower Charlie: I bagsy being a red rose, lil trashy but iconic Bronson: Thorn in our sides Bronson: accepted Bea: Nice one, babe Bea: i'll be an orchid, because i'm beautiful, ornamental and high-maintenance Bea: getting in there before any of you fucks can Charlie: though your silence IS noted, wonwon Charlie: don't be cross at me 😘 Ronnie: fuck off Ronnie: you're not the only one who's busy Ronnie: got a dick in my mouth too like Charlie: such a skilled multitasker Charlie: teach me your ways Bronson: in private please Bronson: not a lesson I want to learn Bea: we're not living in that teen movie Ronnie: On my way Bea: 👍 getting cash out, meet you there Bronson: Doors on the latch

Bea: Morning sweetness 😴 Bea: manage to recover your good vibe/night? Bronson: is it? 😪 Bronson: Until now it wasn't too bad Bronson: Do you get to say the same or is it pure suffering? Bea: Wow, when you hit bae up with that morning text and he's like day=ruined 😰 thought we was forever 😉 Bea: Decided to get off with someone around the same time I lost track of yous, so it was fucking awful, don't tell me you coulda told me that Bronson: It's only the comedown I wanna dump you're welcome to come and nap 💗 Bronson: Not to be that know it all Bea: Molly's such a cruel, cruel mistress, she wants you to miss her when she's gone 💁 Bea: Poor bubba, better than waking up next to that pushy bitch from last night though, Jesus, what was her damage? Bea: I reckon he'd actually gone out and had his drunken kebab and THEN PAID TO GET BACK IN Bea: No sir, not alright Bea: Why do I bother? Bronson: But I'm shamelessly smitten, only girl for besides present company like Bronson: Whatever it is she's not the first or last sufferer Bronson: Thanks for the bail out and sorry I wasn't there to do the same with kebab Kev Bea: N'awwh 💞 glad I hold more appeal than Tina, don't need to be going down that route Bea: It's an epidemic! Basic bitches who can't get a man willing, yeah take that out on innocent onlookers who ain't buying and talk about how your ex ain't shit for being a creepy letch Bea: We see you sweets 💅 Bea: Any time, even if you weren't there to take that donner breath bullet Bea: I'd never ask that of anyone, even Ronnie, though she'd brag about not being arsed, I'm sure 😂 Bronson: Next time I'll carry gum and throw it at whoever you deem worthy Bronson: Give me the nod Bronson: It was all over her socials like we had a good night together until I got there first Bronson: Rather take out Tina and all her mates Bea: as if you don't already Bea: if only little miss would-be-rapist knew that strong jawline was from gurning up a storm 😉 Bea: not so sexy now Bronson: there's nothing in my pockets I'm just pleased to see you Bronson: Seriously though, some of those selfies had to go for that unflattering reason alone taking into account none of her other antics Bronson: I looked a state Bea: 😂 not fallen for that one before but i'll make an exception for you boo Bea: catch me in my duvet cocoon, please don't look at me 'cos same Bea: I dread to think Bea: kept off my accounts for that reason and many more, some of us have reputations to uphold, skank Bronson: want me to check Bronson: clean up the carnage Bronson: Then brunch, your treat Bea: please Bea: roleplay my IT bitch and I'll be feeling my boss best in time for a liquid lunch Bea: will have to damage control my face first, enjoy watching me lovingly whilst I turn a -2 to an 11 Bronson: Never get bored of staring at you, you know that Bronson: Make my hair great again Bronson: Thanks Bea: when you shoulda been Trump's campaign manager 😕 Bea: sort the weave, clean up that twitter Bea: what a wonderful world it coulda been Bronson: Last night proves I can't stop him pussy grabbing Bronson: Need you for that one Bea: This pussy bites back 😼 Bea: its not your fault, girls like that, if you tell her to fuck off, and rightly so, it'd be made like YOU were being a prick to her Bea: gotta bullshit these hoes sometimes, tis the only way Bronson: Or playing hard to get...they fire that one at me loads Bronson: 😦 Bea: 🤢 gross Bea: got that one myself a fair few times, when I'm not being accused of being a prude by Ronaldo, hilariously Bea: People are the worst Bea: 'cept us Bronson: It's only because she likes you Bronson: Flattering, isn't it? Bronson: Being called broken is my fave Bronson: "Who hurt you?" You are right now, fuck off before you get a slap yourself to feel the pain of Bea: Wouldn't that just be the perfect solution in their simplistic little world? If only Bea: Save myself the feelings of disgust not brought on by kebab breath Bea: Though, if you think that that's love coming from Ron, then you do have an answer to their riddle right there, not real but the masses'll take one look at her and buy it 😜 Bronson: No arguments here Bronson: Your socials are sparkling now so that's real comfort to take Bea: 💖 yay Bea: the world never need know Bea: as long as I didn't drunk dial or text Fraze, this day is looking up, tah babes Bronson: Not to be a know it all again so quick Bronson: but I'm going to go ahead and guess the answer to that one Bea: BITCH DON'T KILL MY VIBE Bea: I'm sure I'd have angry ranting in my inbox if I had Bea: or a passive indirect on the socials, come across one perchance smartiepants? Bronson: Might've Bronson: I'll spare you Bea: Noooooooooooooooooooo Bea: Coulda had it all Bea: Really sours my Bloody Mary Bea: Fuck sake, now he's going to think I FUCKED kebab kev and enjoyed it meanwhile I sit here virginal and scrubbing my mouth out with soap Bea: How's this game fair again, please remind me Bronson: It isn't Bronson: But I can't tell you to stop playing Bronson: All yours Bea: you're meant to be a superwhizkid Bea: can't you think up a strategy so I win Bronson: Thinking cap is on Bronson: Because my hair still looks shit as much as Bea: I'll fix your barnet Bea: Between you and Charlie, honestly Bea: Never known boys like it 😂 Bea: blatant lie, have you seen how particular Fraze is but he doesn't really have much hair to be stylin' so Bronson: 👴 awkward Bea: you fool Bea: not like that 😂 Bea: though I'll keep it in my backpocket for when we inevitably row later Bea: #malepatternbaldnessBITCH Bronson: Freebie to kick your day off right again Bea: if you refuse to tell me what to do, could you use your skillz for good at least and fucking disable my phone when i'm fucked Bronson: Last time I tried you tried to fight me like Bea: Look, I didn't say it was a task for the fainthearted 😉 Bea: and yes, you would be the first to succeed too Bea: but if anyone can, its my man 😘 Bronson: Ego boost before eggs Bronson: Whoa Bronson: Today is looking up Bea: Gotta keep you sweet with all the bitching I'll no doubt do at brunch Bea: such a Carrie move, like no one cares bitch, write it in your column or books or...what did she even write? Or was she just monologuing at her computer, like all been there babe but don't act like its buying you all that designer Bronson: Her real true love was that laptop Bronson: Solved it Bea: 😲 Bea: but Mr. Big Bea: clue in the name Bronson: Could be his wallet Bronson: explain the designer gear Bea: Exactly Bea: Just my type Bronson: I'd go in for it if I can spend and send him the receipts Bea: you must be aware there are websites for that Bea: get on it boy Bronson: It all gets too sexual for my tastes Bea: set out boundaries Bea: different strokes for different folks Bea: i'm SURE there's a millionaire out there that just wants to chat Bronson: 🤔 There's enough fighting off advances in the club Bronson: Shelving that until millionaires become good people Bea: not bad people by default Bea: just a bad system they profit from more than you Bronson: Getting deep in here Bronson: Truth though Bea: real talk take #2 Bea: where do you think charlie was last night? and who or what was he doing? Bronson: Good questions that I have no answer to Bronson: If he had a job we'd all know Bea: I need to know, suspense is killing me Bea: I didn't think anything beat drugs in his book Bea: somewhat encouraging? Bronson: You could ask but I doubt you'd get far enough into the real Bronson: It is Bronson: Boy's growing up? Bea: Full of the #bants them two Bronson: Since day 1 Bronson: I'm coming to get you, Barbara Bronson: Ready yourself Bea: *falls over gravestones like a dumb bitch* Bea: i'm good to go and looking fly Bronson: I'll do the coded knock Bronson: Made up rn Bea: Helpful Bronson: That's my thing Bronson: Soon, my love, soon

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ali

Fraze being a real cunt

Fraze: Sort it out for fuck's sake. Ali joined the chat 101 minutes ago Ali: Nah, youse the ones having to deal with her, so I shan't Fraze: Yeah I am so stop being a twat. Fraze: Or stay round Caleb's and really do ma in. Ali: 😂🖕  Unlucky Ali: And I am, I'll drop the kids round at some point so youse can see them but I've got shit to do so I won't be staying Fraze: Big of you. Fair dues though throwing a tantrum can be an all dayer when you're such a brat. Ali: Boo hoo, you're the one crying to me 'cos you can't stomach her for five seconds Ali: Give a shit, Fraze, this doesn't involve you Fraze: I was trying to appeal to you 'cause it's Christmas and dad wants you there but fuck off then. Ali: That's the spirit Ali: Why would I wanna be there? I'll see dad, and everyone else who isn't being mad cunty, in my own time Ali: I've got no need to commit to another day of this shite Fraze: Keep being a selfish cunt it's not like I want you there after you threw me under the bus calling me one of ma's failures Ali: Yeah? Glad I won't be missed then, no hurt feelings all round Ali: And go to ma for comfort, she'll happily tell you the truth will set you free on that score Fraze: I'm not the one whose proper hurt. She is. You don't give a shit but the rest of us do. Do me a favor and gimme a time you're coming so I can be out. Ali: Well she ain't the only one but the only one that matters, right? Ali: Then console her with how much of a success you are, console yourself whilst you're at it Fraze: Fuck you. You're such a spoiled bitch. You're hurt 'cause what she told you to man up and tell Ro Drew's a cheating scumbag woe's you Fraze: Just 'cause you feel guilty no need to make ma feel it worse Ali: I'm not the one crying 'cos I've not got my way here Ali: Its hilarious you believe everything she tells you 'cos that ain't the conversation I had with her Ali: Like she needs any help with her guilt complex Fraze: Aren't you? Ruining christmas 'cause you didn' t get your way for once ain't no better. Fraze: I'm surprised you wanna bother bringing your kids around if she's such a shit mum Ali: Who's ruining anything? She doesn't want me there, you don't, like I said, I'll make the effort to see the people who want to see me too Ali: Well I'm all for second chances, even if she thinks they're bullshit Fraze: Act like it then. Give her one. Ali: I am. Ali: She hasn't taken it yet Fraze: You haven't offered it. All you've done is avoided her Ali: That's how you see it. You don't live here, don't act like you're involved in this family any more. She sees me multiple times a week, she's had ample opportunity, I'm not the one hiding Fraze: Neither do you. Until Caleb upsets you and you come running back. You see her too. Why's it all on her? Ali: Grow up. Ali: I'll make myself and my children homeless, shall I? Ali: Not all of us bum the moral high ground as much as you, you moron Ali: Because its never on her Ali: She needs to learn to apologize when she's the one in the wrong, its not hard Fraze: You're the idiot that needs to grow up. Fraze: If its so easy do it Fraze: You can't even own the shit you said Fraze: Except her to kiss your feet though don't ya? Fraze: Hypocrite Ali: No, because I'm NOT in the wrong Ali: Keep up Ali: I know what I said Ali: and I haven't felt the need to be telling tales on what she said Ali: which is evidently all she's been doing so yeah, I'm good pal Fraze: Fuck you. She didn't rat you out, princess I overheard her telling dad why he's precious fave wouldn't be at the table Ali: Then you shouldn't be so nosy, should you Fraze: Yeah its all my bad. None of yours. Get a fucking clue. Ali: What's this got to do with you? Fraze: Oh fuck all except I wanted a nice family Christmas for my kids like we used to have Fraze: I'm the selfish one of course Ali: You aren't going to find it here Ali: you're not a child, any more, it isn't going to be that fantasy you've got in your head Ali: if you wanted that, take 'em to disney world Fraze: Cheers for the ma impression while she's radio silent Fraze: But don't speak on my childhood or how I raise my kids again 'cause you know less than nothing about either Ali: Please, you're 4 years older than me, don't act like I wasn't there Ali: You don't get to control the narrative Fraze: Why not you are Fraze: You don't get to tell me what's a fantasy Ali: Believe it if it makes you any happier Ali: evidently not Ali: it was what it was for all of us, we can all say how we found it but the stories aren't gonna add up and that'll create dissonance, hohum Ali: it doesn't matter either way Fraze: No it was what it was for you 3 and it was what it was for Joe, Bea and me Fraze: which matters to me Fraze: even if you're an ungrateful cunt these days Fraze: and apparently always were Ali: Yeah yeah yeah, and it was different for ma and da Ali: like I said, no one wants your war stories Ali: its different for us, you all agree, so stop pushing your bullshit onto us making us try to 'learn' from you Fraze: But it's fine for you to spout all your bullshit, yeah? One fucking rule for Ali Mckenna as per Ali: am I asking you to listen? Ali: I don't want to be talking to you, as per, you came screaming at me, like she did Fraze: Fuck off then I'm done Ali: ta ta dearest brother you're really good at this Ali: just like mummy Fraze: I ain't trying to be good to you I don't owe you shit Fraze: I was trying to help ma who I do Fraze: But forget it 'cause she's better off not talking to ya Ali: and I owe nothing to you, you can try and hold seniority over people for a while but don't act surprised when they tire of the lectures Ali: I sincerely hope so Ali: FYI, you're your own person, she'd like you to know that, according to her, you're NOTHING to do with her Fraze: FYI I already know that. I own up to my own shit good and bad. Fraze: If that's news to you suddenly too bad Ali: Hahahaha Ali: no, THAT is news to me Fraze: I thought you had shit to do Ali: Sick burn, some of us can multitask Fraze: Tell someone who gives a fuck Ali: Oh, you are VERY bad at appearing non-plussed Ali: your entire life experience should tell you that Ali: the only person you've got fooled is yourself Fraze: Thanks doctor fraud Fraze: throw that all seeing bullshit lens on yourself Ali: ??? Ali: You screaming at me for however the fuck long=me not WANTING to say sorry Ali: wowee, what a revelation Fraze: Just keep doing what you want. Please yourself like you always do Fraze: I won't see you later Ali: its only what our darling mother would want Ali: she's a bad person, don't you know Fraze: She thinks she is yeah. No thanks to you Fraze: really helping to change her mind ain't ya Ali: Sorry I'm such a disappointment, there you can have that one Ali: I mean it Fraze: Good you should be sorry too bad I ain't the one that wants to hear it Ali: you can tell her yourself Ali: it isn't my job to mother my own mother Ali: she wont give you a gold star but you can whack off to how smug you'll feel Fraze: Fuck you. I mean that. Ali: I don't care Ali: None of us love each other, its all falling apart Ali: I don't fucking care Fraze: You don't love us anymore now you've got your cosy set up that ain't the same thing Fraze: Good luck to you. Ali: Bullshit Ali: Joe's gone, Tommy left as soon as he feasibly could and he's only back 'cos he's got no other option Ali: You're busy pretending you're someone else Ali: and I won't be here soon either, so why delay the inevitable, it's all gone Ali: and I haven't got sod all 'cosy' literally what the hell do you know, all I've got is MY kids Ali: and they need me more than Tess ever did, I was surplus to requirements from the jump there Fraze: Some genius you are. You don't have a fucking clue. Joe's an addict, he's struggling. Tommy has been doing what he loves which meant he had to move. Also not about you sorry princess kitty kat. I'm trying to build a future same as you. It's hardly end of days. Fraze: Sorry you're not the centre of everyone's universe for one sec. Fraze: And everything ain't rosy all the damn time. Big deal. Ali: and why is he an addict? hmm? lets explore that shall we Ali: Bea's the only one building anything Ali: you're on her coattails Ali: its never been rosy that's my fucking point! Ali: and i'm sorry i've got sick of pretending its anything close to rn Ali: because it isn't and we all know it, aren't you all sick of pretending Fraze: That ain't for me or you to say. You'd have to ask him Fraze: You don't know shit about what I'm achieving or not you patronising twat Fraze: Nobody's asking for that except you and none of us are pretending either we're just making the best of what we've got which is apparently optional for you now you're over it Fraze: Life don't have to be exactly what you want for it to be worth a fucking damn Fraze: Stop acting like you're above us all and be with us Ali: Except I can't because he's gone. He's gone and you didn't give us a chance to say goodbye, no, I'll be as selfish as you want me to be, you didn't give ME a chance to say goodbye Ali: Oh yeah, my life is fucking peachy, I'm so great Ali: Everyone fucking hates me, is that the teen angst you want? Well whoop there it is. Everyone in this fucking town looks down their nose at me or outright abuses me on the daily, the kids I'm too young to have have a part-time dad and heaven forbid I act my age, my own family tell me to fuck off and die in a ditch, or tell me what an awful person I am Ali: there it is, yuk it up 'cos I don't know what else you want from me Ali: I have NOTHING to give, I'm so sorry I'm not worth my place in the tribe Fraze joined the chat 29 minutes ago Fraze: Put that and whatever else you gotta on me. It don't matter. I did what I did and I'd do it again. For him. Fraze: Boo fucking hoo. Deal with it. Nobody made those choices but you. Those kids don't need your sob story they need you to decide what the fuck you and Caleb are doing. Together or apart. Fraze: You don't get to act your age 'cause you're somebody's fucking ma now and its on you to let them be kids. Fraze: If you can't hack that you shouldn't of done it. Simple as. Fraze: As for the pity party you're having about us, nobody said anything like that. Calm down or keep projecting I don't care. Ali: Of course you would, no one matters but the sacred three. I know that, no need to remind me when you spend every waking day showing us exactly where we are in the pecking order Ali: This is a joke, what have I said to you, and mum, what is ALL I said Ali: we didn't need theirs, we didn't need yours Ali: but we got it Ali: and yet I'm nothing like my mother and my problems are NOTHING like hers Ali: I dare you to call her a spoilt bitch Ali: Wow, write a pamphlet. Ali: Read back what you've said, I'm not telling you what you said, you'll only say its bullshit. Just read it Ali: I just Ali: Never mind Fraze: You're a joke, Ali. Fraze: Your situation is nothing like ma's. You've had so much support all round. Like fuck are you working 4 jobs you're going to uni, you have multiple people willing to help with your kids and anything else at the drop of a hat Fraze: She had nothing but da. Fraze: I know what I said and didn't say. Spin it how you want just like with whatever mum said. Fraze: I'm not going in circles with you. Ali: That's all your doing Ali: our entire lives is one big circle revolving around them Ali: please tell me how hard she had it again Ali: as if that makes an iota of difference to my struggle Ali: so much support? Ali: I feel it Fraze: It should make a difference to your fucking behavior Fraze: but whatever I'm sick of this and if you can bail so can I Ali: Why? Ali: Why should it Fraze: It's called empathy brainiac Ali: No, it isn't Ali: that's the past, empathy is doing fuck all to change what it was Ali: you show empathy to the people who need it Ali: in the now Fraze: she does still need it in the now Ali: and i don't? Fraze: You get a shit ton of it Ali: WHERE Ali: I'm a joke, I'm a fuck up, I'm a cunt Ali: I'm not doing enough to help Ro Ali: I'm not doing enough for mum Ali: I'm a bad mother who shouldn't have had her kids Ali: there is nothing Ali: I'm not pulling this out of thin air, Fraze Fraze: You're pulling it out of your arse 'cause you wanna feel sorry for yourself and for everyone else to Fraze: You think I ain't been called shit. Made mistakes. We all have including mum Ali: Please do bring it back round to you and mum Ali: continue to prove my point Ali: call me crazy and tell me i'm making it all up Fraze: I didn't say that I said you're making a meal of it Fraze: build a bridge and get the fuck over it Fraze: talk to the people you gotta to change shit Fraze: Or just keep crying to me Fraze: what's that gonna do? Ali: Yeah, silly me for trying to get my own brother to care Ali: that's not how families are meant to work Fraze: I'm still here talking to you ain't I Fraze: you're the one not caring Ali: of course, what a cold bitch Fraze: You wish Ali: no i don't Ali: even if no one respects the fact that i have feelings that can get hurt just like the rest of you do Fraze: Again, literally nobody's ever said that Fraze: we're just trying to get you to tell ma your feelings are hurt Fraze: at least Ali: actions speak louder than words, even though your words HAVE been fucking horrible and you aren't convincing me otherwise Ali: she knows...she's the one who hurt them Fraze: and you hurt hers too Fraze: and Fraze: I don't know what else I can do here Fraze: this ain't even my fight as you said Ali: i know, i was the one who did it Ali: yeah a real impasse we find ourselves in Fraze: Do whatever it is you're gonna 'cause I can't multitask and I do actually have shit that needs doing despite what you think Ali: i was planning to