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#i dunno if i'll actually clean this up but i know i can't rn for a while
muffin-snakes-art · 4 months
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I had an idea and made it as fast as I could just to get it out ahg
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silvertsundere · 1 year
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Silver Talks AniManga (14/05/23)
3 new manga this week wao, busy week for m+ (tho there were more I'm not reading) the one of most note is nue, the last of this WSJ serialization round and the one I was looking forward to the most, despite 2 of the other manga being by fujimaki and the shokugeki duo. sadly it didn't live up to my expectations but I talk about it more under there 👇
also I watched all anime episodes yesterday since mal was down for like 3 days thanks to a brainless hacker, I know I coulda just watched and updated it after it got fixed but I stubbornly like to do things a certain way tehe anyhoo
oh also there was a new chap of strike it rich but because of how comikey works I can't read it for free til there's a new chap in 2 week (yikes) so that's why it's not here, I'll be keeping a lookout for alternative sources for it but until then I'll just have to be behind ugh
green - new series/new to me
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Anime
Megumin Ep6
honestly the last or this episode coulda been the last and the anime woulda prob been a lot better, dunno how they're gonna fill 6 more episodes but we'll see. it was cute seeing the backstory of megumin's cape, staff and eyepatch tho
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Imas CG: U149 Ep6
very good episode, in every way, voices, character acting, like usual I know ofc ofc. it's funny seeing haru always comparing idol stuff to soccer to make it more relatable to herself while the producer plays along (as he should) while everyone else is flabbergasted. as soon as they were talking about outfits at the start I knew what the ep was gonna be about (and what the solution was) but it was still good. and let me tell you, it was extremely brained for them to have the new LiPPS song as the insert for the anime at the same time as the event for it came out in the game, it's free hype real estate baby.
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Mashle Ep6
I was actually pretty impressive with how the fight looked (compared to the rest of the anime) and the addition of him and mash's reflection on the metal (wasn't in the manga I checked) was really cool. it gives me some hope for the future of the anime, not much but some hope.
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Pokemon Horizons Ep6
good ep but it's weird as hell just seeing shiny ray in an anime episode. done with the roy introduction arc so things can start moving forward now, tho they still won't be getting to paldea next time. however they did tease that the bocchi voiced character is part of the ship, which is funny cause they always show the damn duck in her videos so it was right there all along, we're just blind fools
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Jigokuraku Ep7
nice episode, next one is gonna be The Door and the start of quite a long stretch of action, tho it won't extend to the finale. considering where we are I have a pretty good idea where it'll end (setting off from the cave iykyk). I thought it was pretty funny how they straight up just delete the tensen's nipples instead of using god rays or stuff like that since it'd be too much of a bother during fights, and honestly I much prefer this to making the fights look worse. however they did use god rays to censor mei so that was good. also also when I was reading it I said this, and during the ep I looked it up and they do indeed all have the same seiyuu, one for the female form (kaida yuuko) and another for the male (suwabe junichi), so that's v fun, glad they actually went through with it
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Manga
Nue's Exorcist Ch1
MAN, out of the 4 new series, even with fujimaki and the shokugeki duo, this was the series I was the most excited for but if I had to be honest it had the weakest ch1 out of all of them :( it's a real shame. the art is really good, very clean lines and very readable, everything stands out as it should and the designs are good. however, I don't think it did a good enough job at setting up it's premise as the other 3, rn it's basically just the mc going "I want to be strong enough to protect everyone" and I don't think that's enough. we'll see how it goes in the next few chaps, but if something of note doesn't happened in the next handful of chaps I could easily see it suffering the same fate as tokyo demon bride which would be sad. I'll try to keep my hope up anyway, I know I only feel like this cause I had such high expectations for it when I shouldn't but oh well
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Blooming Love Ch1 - 3
didn't really have any expectations going in but it's pretty cute art club president meets a craftsman girl, who is trying to get better at art, and becomes captivated by how earnest she is about things art is very nice and clean and the characters are expressive, could be a nice little romance if it can last for some time
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Kindergarten WARS Ch1 - 3
jump + title and first indie series to get picked up by m+ it's kinda like an alt universe sakamoto, the premise is "the safest kindergarten in the world" which is protected by criminals trying to earn their freedom it currently has around 30 chaps so it's gonna take a while to catch up even if they do 2 or 3 chaps a week anyway it's good, I was the most surprised by how good the action looks but even outside of that it's good. at the end of chap 2 I was like "I hope the formula isn't always like this or it'll get old fast" but chap 3 was completely different so that got rid of my worries. I can totally see why it's so popular in jp (over 1M views weekly) so looking forward to the extra chaps til we catch up in the coming months
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Dandadan Ch105
you know, last chap I was bitching about this flashback arc being a bit too long but that ending was just great, really managed to stick the landing there
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One Punch Man Ch182
damn ai strikes again to ruin everything smh but anyway, plot? in opm? what the hell is going on. it do be p interesting tho, wonder if there'll be "s rank" vs s rank hero fights 👀
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Saihate Quarter Ch11
chap was nice, if nothing else just for the shounen references, otherwise was mostly just exposition from luci
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Tokyo Underworld Ch40
honestly never knew that's how leonidas went so that's neat, decent chap overall anyway, finally learned some stuff about the twins' power and the leonidas fight finally moving along, tho there's still gonna be cao cao after this so still gonna be on this arc for a while
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The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch25
damn he really did wake up, kept waiting for it to be like "ahah it looked like he did but he didn't", at least with him up now shouldn't be too long for the end
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Fabricant 100 Ch21
ok chap, not much to say, just the start of the final fight
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Kill Blue Ch4
nice and action filled chap, with a sprinkling of overall plot too, well see what it does now that this little 2 parter is done but it's been pretty decent so far
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Do Retry Ch2
really good ch2, art maintained it's quality, introduced new charas, progressed the plot, did it's job overall. we'll see how it goes in the next few chaps tho, still too early to see if it'll live the initial gauntlet or not
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Witch Watch Ch108
god damnit I knew it was too good for it to happen so fast, still it's some progress so it's better than nothing I guess
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Blue Box Ch100
I knew there was no way they were gonna meet so fast, especially after they mentioned the sky trip at the beggining but still had some hope argh. karen teasing ayame was good too tho lol, and those pages with taiki reminiscing about past moments with natsu were fitting for a chap100, overall really good chap
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Cipher Academy Ch23
chap felt longer than it was, but it makes sense since it's nisio and has so much text. I was worried cause of cipher's continuously low placements, but it doesn't seem to be wrapping up yet so that gives me some hope. tho it could just end suddenly and that'd be wack but we'll see... good chap tho, iroha finally making up with toshusai's other goon and introducing the new conflict and "villains" for the upcoming arc. I really do hope it doesn't get canceled it'd be a shame to lose a nisio series
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Spy x Family Ch80
continuation of the plot from last time, nice lil chap, despite how annoying yuri is, but the best part was there being a rare overarching plot related thing at the end, been a while since something like that
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Tenmaku Cinema Ch5
nice chap, kurai is cute and next chap should be good too, seeing her really dive into her character and all that. I know I say this every chap but it do be nice to see how passionate and knowledgable tsukuda is about cinema
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Mashle Ch155
good action chap with really crazy shots, reminded me of the headmaster fight from a while ago, tho I still think that one was cooler, so far, but hoping this one will surprass it since it's the finale
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Undead Unluck Ch158
a fitting chapter for mother's day, not much to say but it was good
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Sakamoto Days Ch118
it woulda already been a good chap with how cool this sakamoto scene was but the one with rion and uzuki at the end were good too, great chap. shouldn't be much longer til this flashback arc is over considering what happened at the end
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The Elusive Samurai Ch109
really good chap, interested to see where we're going from here since the heroes will have to rebuild their forces quite a bit to go against takauji again I trust matsui tho
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Akane-banashi Ch61
I haven't said this in a while but akane is still my favourite series on jump right now. the scene right before this cap gave me goosebumps and I KNEW what was coming that's how it was. goddddddd please, trust me, even if you think you wouldn't like rakugo, or that it's boring, or that it wouldn't fit a manga, just read it. it's so good man
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Janis & Jimmy
Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and 💀#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a  🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag  peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em                                                                                                                         ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]
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Jesse & Jac
Jesse: [okay so in my head it's at least the next day and obviously she's not going to school and neither is he because lowkey doesn't want to ever but brings her a cup of tea in the morning when everyone else is going off and then leaves] Jac: Practicing for your illustrious career in the café industry? Jac: Dad will be equal parts proud and horrified Jac: that'd be a...latte, yeah? Jesse: Depends on if you reckon it's needed Jac: Think it's a flat white, actually Jac: I'll ask him, be nothing but thrilled Jesse: thrilled about you talking Jac: you could be a little more buzzing yourself, honestly Jesse: I am Jesse: silent brooding works better for lads Jesse: and it's sorta my gig Jac: Don't worry, I'll leave your guitar out of my 'brooding' Jac: keep it truly 🤐 Jesse: 👍 Jac: You been tasked to make sure I don't top myself or this purely about your knowledge adversion Jesse: writer's block Jac: well you aren't co-opting my heartbreak Jac: not being another bitch who never gets the credit she's due Jesse: have a credit Jesse: don't matter to me Jac: Got enough hits, Mr Sensitive? Jac: alright Jac: it would piss Jude off if I got mine 'fore her Jesse: chart faves are shitting themselves Jac: yeah, you're well top40, always said so 😏 Jesse: prefer the 🤐 off you then Jac: Charming Jac: no wonder I'm so well-adjusted Jesse: you're doing alright Jac: Ha, what are you basing that expert opinion on? Jesse: 👀 Jac: Notoriously deceptive, 👀s Jesse: depends whose Jac: Remember when we started school Jac: and the teachers used to get our names the wrong way 'round Jesse: yeah Jesse: put a k on yours and an i in mine Jac: right Jac: maybe we can really commit to the swap now Jesse: if you like Jac: I could get the silent brooding down Jac: my sex aside Jesse: I'm not doing everything you do Jesse: be knackered Jac: you kidding? Jac: I'm laying here watching this cuppa go cold Jesse: [comes in and drinks it because we don't waste tea in this house] Jesse: don't stare at an empty mug Jesse: that's 💔 Jac: [the smallest lol ever] Jac: what do I do then? Jesse: [gets his guitar and starts teaching her some basics, like well if you're gonna be me] Jac: [that's a nice moment] Jesse: [just passing that guitar between them like] Jac: ['does it work then?'] Jesse: [a look like what?] Jac: [looks at the guitar then does 💔 mime] Jesse: [gets his phone and shows her how many songs/playlists etc there are on spotify or wherever about heartbreak with a shrug like it must do] Jac: [a look back that says 'or it doesn't'] Jesse: [a look back like maybe nothing does and looks at his imaginary watch like maybe time does] Jac: [scatching look like your mother] Jesse: [😏 like both of your parents] Jac: [taps the empty mug like make us another one? 'might be able to drink some of this one'] Jesse: [goes to do that and will bring her biscuits of course] Jac: [I'd love a biscuit rn tbh] Jesse: you know what would work? Jac: tell me Jesse: 🥊 Jac: I can barely hold a mug Jac: you want an easy win that bad? Jesse: you held a guitar Jac: not as hard as you want girls to believe, pretty boy Jesse: piss off Jac: 😏 Jesse: told ya you were doing alright Jac: not dead yet Jesse: 👍 Jesse: Jude would have it said you are Jesse: or dying Jac: She's got Auntie Grace's dramatic streak Jac: she'll wanna 🥊 me for saying it but can't hide from the truth Jesse: she wants to knock out loads of people Jesse: get in line Jac: I'm not queuing Jesse: 💔 isn't a killer then? Jac: Haven't you ever? Jac: ❤ or 💔 Jesse: only been in like Jac: reckon I've only ever been out Jesse: what do you mean? Jac: I thought it was ❤ Jac: but it weren't Jesse: weren't to you Jesse: or weren't to them Jac: Is there a difference? Jesse: yeah Jac: if it's not reciprocated Jac: it's not real Jesse: if it was real to one of you Jac: Only in my 🧠 Jesse: you reckon? Jac: I know now Jesse: if they even know Jac: what do you mean? Jesse: how they feel might be complicated Jesse: in their 🧠 or ❤ Jac: She made her feelings really clear Jesse: one of them Jac: It's not even how much this hurts Jac: and it does Jac: but I'm going to be completely alone Jesse: [brings her the tea and biscuits and does the feelsy lean on her that JJ do like no you won't] Jac: [just tapping his hand like she did the mug because we can't be smiling or showing appreciation in any way more than this rn] Jesse: [we drinking tea and eating biscuits cos emotions] Jac: [again, a nice moment, even though if you could cry, you would be] Jesse: [his biscuit falling in his tea and him doing the 💔 mime] Jac: [kisses her teeth like amateur 'won't tell dad'] Jesse: [does a little spur of the moment song about it that's so silly] Jac: [snorts 'oh, now I get why you have fans, yeah' shaking her head] Jesse: [throws a pillow at her because father's son] Jac: [hits him with it, obvs] Jesse: [lets her because it'll help] Jac: [should turn into you lowkey angrily beating him with the pillow like a crazy grieving person 'cos tea] Jesse: [100% approved and he'll eventually just hug her when she's exhausted her anger] Jac: [allowing it 'cos you need it] Jesse: [you seriously do gal] Jac: [loved this tbh] Jesse: [I like them together a lot] Jac: [but not in an incesty way ty] Jesse: [no no] Jac: [later, like, he left] Jac: thanks Jesse: it's just tea Jac: no just about, boy Jesse: 🙄😏 Jac: just let me know when you need a cup, yeah? Jesse: every hour on the hour Jesse: tah Jac: don't take the piss, like Jesse: don't sound like me Jac: 'course not Jesse: real food? Jac: biscuits are the most important food group Jesse: Dad entered the chat Jac: thank fuck he hasn't Jesse: worse people to talk to Jesse: in this house Jac: don't need to tell me Jac: dreading when she gets back Jesse: I'll take her on a dog walk Jesse: long Jac: throw a ⚾ and lose her Jac: bless Jesse: you've done the runner Jac: it worked so well Jesse: no seeing the future Jac: dunno if anyone thinks it's all that shocking Jesse: you weren't doing it for shock factor Jac: mum thinks I'm such a prick Jesse: She don't have the full story Jesse: and she can be a prick Jac: she ain't saying it like a compliment Jesse: not personally gutted that you weren't as good at pissing off as her Jac: 🤢 Jac: careful Jesse: 🤠 Jac: gotta live up to the namesake, yeah Jesse: don't wanna be the other McCartney Jesse: and you're more likely to invent Facebook than I am Jac: but how will I know I've got a beautiful soul now? 💔 Jesse: Talk to her Jac: who Jesse: the girl you love Jac: I can't Jesse: not today Jesse: but she's not going anywhere Jac: she's gone Jac: I can feel it Jac: nothing is the same now Jesse: loads has been happening Jesse: cut her some slack Jac: you didn't see the look on her face Jesse: I've seen her with you loads of other times Jac: she was in love with Tyler Jac: everyone knew it Jesse: was Jac: that was me Jac: their breakup Jesse: No it weren't Jac: I've done a lot of shit Jesse: that's not why she reacted like she did Jac: She's straight Jac: regardless Jesse: she said? Jac: the 👀 Jesse: it's for her to say Jesse: I got shit scared the 1st time I performed, it don't mean I never wanted to again Jac: well, she can Jac: not getting my hopes up here though Jesse: she'll be alone an' all Jac: if she weren't 💬 him in her uber back Jesse: you reckon? Jac: probably Jac: wouldn't be surprised Jesse: that's rough Jac: mhm Jesse: You wanna come to tonight's gig? Jac: How 💔 is your set? Jesse: it ain't Jesse: but it ain't set in stone Jac: don't go changing it on my account Jac: not fit to be seen by the public Jesse: write down the songs you wanna hear Jesse: if you can hold a pen Jesse: pub's in the middle of nowt Jac: I could use a drink that don't have milk in Jac: no white russians Jesse: should've said Jac: not before 5PM Jesse: real food 1st Jac: Dad entered the chat Jesse: don't wanna clean up your 🤮 you prick Jac: then don't Jac: and I'm not an amateur Jesse: 🖕😏 Jac: they got a 🚽 yeah? Jesse: Dunno Jac: Jesus Jac: super ⭐dom is well glam Jesse: Piss off Jac: can we be out the house 'fore they're all back or what Jesse: if you like Jac: you don't wanna be unfashionably early though Jesse: we can find somewhere else to go Jac: alright Jac: better than repeating the same conversations again Jesse: 👍 Jac: 🤠 Jesse: dress code? Jac: I'm not that gay Jesse: gutted Jac: 💔 Jesse: if we ain't matching, better not Jac: let us borrow a hat Jac: not gonna be pulling Jesse: Alright Jac: give me time to wash Jesse: don't have to queue Jac: polite to pretend I ain't a state Jesse: is it? Jesse: or are you just not? Jac: oh yeah, winning at life, me Jesse: weren't what I said Jesse: but you don't look like Alice Cooper, you can have that Jac: Cheers Jesse: 🏆
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Ali & Tommy
Ali: okay I need Ali: like fucking Ali: total seriousness from you right now Ali: can you handle that Tommy: whoa Tommy: alright yeah Tommy: unless you're preggo I ain't keeping that to myself for the next 9 like Ali: god no Ali: i know you're gay as hell so the birds and the bees don't worry you none but if anything you should KNOW that means I'm good right now Ali: but this is going to sound like as much of a joke Ali: but it ain't, yeah? Tommy: what you and your girlfriend do or who ain't none of my business but obviously we ain't here for that, are we? Tommy: I'm sitting down, go for it Ali: sure, sure, I'll make you go red later Ali: preferably when I can see/laugh but no, it ain't so Ali: fuck Ali: so this is weird like Ali: beyond Ali: you know Joe finally made an apperance here yeah Tommy: you're scaring me, Kat Tommy: unless he came out I don't reckon I'm ready to hear this Ali: I can't say if that's unwarranted or not, like Ali: soz Ali: basically, he came to me for a drugs hookup Ali: like, that's what the fuck weird enough but you know Ali: do you Ali: so I sent him to Drew, you know, Meena's brother? Ali: he deals now Ali: and then he hit me back up and shit Ali: you gotta tell me if this is some kinda sick joke but the boy sounded deadly serious, like HE was scared Ali: he said Joe asked for heroin, Tommo Tommy: nah nah he's gotta have it twisted Tommy: like he's pretty so he don't have to be the smartest, yeah Tommy: it'll be like a bad brain day so he needed to go harder than his prescription maybe but Tommy: not that fucking hard Ali: I wanna think that but Ali: he looked sick, Joe Ali: and idk how they could've had that miscommunication like smack is smack it's not like, nah I want this type of pill not that Tommy: probably got his slang fucked up Tommy: he's like an old man you know Tommy: sometimes Ali: he ain't that green Ali: fucking hell, even Ro could list a few names for it Ali: I literally do not know what to do Ali: because as soon as he came back, basically Ali: he's gone Ali: said his uni friend was in a car crash or some bullshit Ali: maybe it ain't but the timing reeks of it Tommy: fuck Tommy: this is so bad Tommy: did they see him, ma or da? Ali: nope, mum was taking rocky to the park or some shit whilst dad did the shop so they're all due back any time and I've gotta pass on the message Ali: minus the drugs, presumably Ali: what the fuck Tommy: don't say shit to them Tommy: she'll fucking Tommy: alright, where are Bea & Fraze like right now? Ali: idk Ali: not here, he waited long as he could to sneak out like he was never here Ali: should I tell them Ali: I swear to God I ain't got no wires crossed Ali: I've got all the messages from Drew, it's black and white so unless he's a real mentalist and just taking the piss Tommy: you deffo ain't that green & jesus all signs really are pointing to proper smackhead Tommy: Meena's brother's loads of things but I don't reckon he'd go this hard just to get your attention Tommy: no shade honey Ali: my thoughts exactly Ali: unless he's one of those people who's ultimate fantasy is to be murdered and I'm the master criminal for the job Ali: it just isn't something you lie about, unless you're totally cracked in the head yourself Tommy: we can kink shame him later like Tommy: but you gotta hit up the IT couple with this Tommy: I can try & talk to Joe but a screen's easy to ignore if you ain't shooting up heroin so I dunno reckon my luck's out Ali: I don't even know what the hell he's gonna say Ali: but I can't just Ali: sweep that one under the rug, can I Ali: Joe was like, gone, and not in a this is a bad brain day way like a Ali: I don't know Ali: let's say there was no putting the kettle on and convincing him to stay 'til the 'rents were back, like Tommy: we can't just Tommy: I'm here for this Tommy: and you can say like a skaghead Tommy: might have to Ali: fuck Ali: how Ali: why Tommy: I dunno Tommy: who's he with Tommy: what's he do Tommy: who the fuck is he Tommy: what's he playing at Ali: all valid questions but who knows Ali: none of us Ali: it was so easy to say like, 'don't blame him' when he didn't come home ever but Ali: it's weird, we're taking like any possible excuse not to be here Tommy *~ Yeah Tommy: do you want me to come back? Ali: no Ali: you should stay there Ali: if there's an intervention I'll buy you a ticket Ali: god knows you can't be missing out on that drama Ali: but realistically Ali: you know this family, what's getting done Tommy: cheers Tommy: but you ain't told Fraze yet, you know he's done crazier than get on a plane to start shit Ali: true Ali: Jesus Tommy: if throw us & the lovebirds in a group chat that's the best it can go Tommy: she'll calm him down Ali: I truly hate this family Tommy: you & me both, Kit Tommy: Drew isn't gonna say shit is he? Ali: I don't think he would Ali: like what's he got to gain from that Tommy: like don't tell your girlfriend I said so but use your feminine wiles if you have to, yeah? Tommy: if ma finds out about this it's gonna properly wreck her Ali: that's why I'm kinda glad he left 'cos it was fucking obvious Ali: but still, what are we gonna do Ali: lock him in a cupboard legit, let him out when he's ready to behave Tommy: she lost it enough over you all summer no way she can handle this Ali: are you saying I should've done smack Ali: got my moneys worth like Tommy: I'm not not saying it Tommy: fucking hell Ali: ah a summer of regrets Ali: seriously Ali: I wanna puke Tommy: you had the best time Tommy: but summer's well and truly over now Tommy: should we pray to sexy Jesus or what Ali: yeah, put down the needle, Joe Ali: it can't hurt, we're in theory catholics so Ali: say sorry and he'll do anything for us Tommy: so out of my depth with this Tommy: this school is well straight edge and there's no religious imagery anywhere Ali: 'cos real rockstars don't go stage school, babe 💔 Ali: maybe he was just gonna smoke it? ehhh Ali: literally the best consolation I've got for any of 'em right now Tommy: I don't wanna be a rockstar honey, that's you Tommy: maybe it was for a 'friend' lol Ali: don't Ali: if he asked drew for a condom too we'd have to dash to the airport like it's love actually Tommy: I wouldn't make that boy use protection but enough about me Ali: THOMAS Ali: behave Ali: this is so serious Tommy: I'm sorry but I'm not used to the kind of gay panic where I'm a gay just panicking like Ali: if you could send me a video of you flapping your limp wrists about, so I know it's real, tah Tommy: least I can do Tommy: I'm really fucking scared, you know Tommy: like, it's Joe Ali: me too Ali: I'm not trying to be a hypocrite but it's fucking heroin Ali: like how are we at defcon1 Tommy: he's not gonna die, yeah? That's only a just say no tactic, right? Tommy: like its not cut with rat poison anymore or Tommy: whatever the fuck Ali: I mean Ali: it's a risk with all drugs but like Ali: you kill off too many punters you get a rep so let's hope his shit is clean-ish Ali: and he knows how to dose Ali: though how the fuck this is even a conversation we're having about JOE Ali: just Tommy: that's a point what did Goldilocks give him 'cause I know he ain't stocking that Tommy: ma would've kneecapped him if he was dealing that hard Tommy: shit Tommy: I dunno Tommy: how is this our real life Ali: he said, Drew, this is, that he just gave him benzos Ali: but it sounded like he got like 50 which he surely did not go through before he left Ali: so he's either got on a fucking plane with 'em or he's left an emergency stash here Ali: do I check his room like that paranoid mother or Tommy: 50 like 5 0 Tommy: Christ almighty Tommy: yeah you should before you tell Fraze Ali: like that's a months worth Ali: idk why he'd get that many just to see him through, even if Drew was being a dick and seeing how much money he could get Ali: probably wiped out his supply of, like Ali: I will Ali: watch me get the blame for them, hope he's written his name on like it's houmous in the fridge or something Tommy: this is so fucked Tommy: how big is his bastard habit Tommy: like I can't Ali: you don't think Ali: oh God oh God Ali: is he online rn hold on Tommy: you think he's Tommy: shit Ali: I'll phone him fuck this Ali: and I'm telling Fraze like, right fucking now Tommy: you have to Tommy: if it's Tommy: we're out of time Ali: okay shit, I'll stay on here to you so you ain't left in the dark but I am also on it Tommy: yeah alright Ali: [a while but not forever] Ali: made him facetime me and he was at the airport, like he said Ali: basically, there's a 'fuck school is nearly here' party so he got that many for it and he reckons 'cos he's got a prescription for 'em, he just filled up his empty box and no one's gonna know, he'd gone through so like Ali: he had got away with that Ali: he seemed more with it, genuine Ali: I dunno Ali: I wasn't getting 'phone the ambulance now' vibes from him, it was reassuring, I wouldn't bullshit you on that Ali: not when it could be so bad Tommy: fucking prick Tommy: I thought like Tommy: thank god Ali: I know Ali: he was having a fucking coffee like Ali: I don't reckon you'd go spend your last in a fucking airport, even if you were done with life Tommy: bleak wouldn't be the word Tommy: next time I see him he's dead though Ali: seriously Ali: there's still the heroin issue but Ali: at least he's not actively killing himself like right this second Tommy: are we 100% that Drew's not just a really really shitty dealer Tommy: like did he say heroin Tommy: I'm grasping at straws and I fully hear myself but Ali: sadly I don't think he's hearing the H bomb just to say he ain't got any Ali: if he had a load to shift, I'd buy it Ali: but Ali: not buy it buy it Ali: this isn't a convoluted cry for help Tommy: don't make me laugh right now Ali: soz Ali: I can't help being such a natural comedic talent Tommy: yeah yeah genius we know babe Ali: gotta milk it whilst I'm still a kid Ali: the shine really gonna dull when I hit 16 Tommy: I'm sure your girlfriend is living for your prodigy status Tommy: I'm beating the boys off (yeah also a euphemism bye) & its only hard work Ali: good for your art, I'm sure Tommy: good for me Tommy: sod my art Ali: sorry Ali: I'll be happy for you when I'm coming down from my heart attack Ali: I am Tommy: me too Tommy: no worries Tommy: we can celebrate me being a hoe any other time Ali: we will 💚 Ali: thanks for not letting me/Joe die alone though Tommy: come down one weekend with your love interest Tommy: I promise to make it super but not intimidatingly gay Tommy: kinda my thing Ali: 'sounds good man Ali: maybe Halloween, bet you do some mad gay shit Tommy: 'course Tommy: Ali, you know I love you, yeah? Tommy: like being dramatic is also my thing but I mean Ali: 'course I do Ali: I can put you down as having me as favourite too, yeah? Ali: say it back if so Tommy: obviously Tommy: Rock's cool but he can't hang like you so Ali: get in Ali: 'til his bed time is past 8pm he can suck it Ali: love you too Tom-tom Tommy: I'd love to go to bed at 8 sometimes Tommy: this school is fucking knackering Ali: I bet Ali: worth it though Ali: yeah Tommy: maybe Tommy: probably Ali: more worth it than here would be Ali: definitely Tommy: full of more fit lads definitely Tommy: at least that are out Ali: god bless Ali: can't all be turning straights Tommy: so last century Tommy: trust you to find one in the first place Tommy: everyone's got more labels than the wardrobe dept usually Ali: 😏 Ali: your bubble is gonna burst so hard man Ali: enjoy it whilst it lasts Ali: seriously Tommy: I'll blow another one it's alright Tommy: that and my own horn of course Tommy: soon as I'm out of here Ali: it's a party 🎊🎈🎆 Tommy: any and everywhere we tread honey Tommy: and you know the drill, whoever's asking I'm dancing like Ali: 👍 Ali: let you get on with all your beating now Ali: keep you in the loop vis a vis whatever the fuck is happening with this Joe thing but Ali: twiddling my thumbs 'til then so Tommy: cheers 🐱 Tommy: laters yous 💛 Ali: 💚
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